95 David O'Leary sacked by Leeds

In a moment of summer madness Leeds United have sacked their manager David O'Leary. Is this payback for failure to qualify for the Champions' League? Possibly, but perhaps the Leeds board had grown tired of the media campaigns orchestrated by their manager whenever things went against him.

Four years is a decent tenure at a top-level club and David O'Leary has been given the financial backing to make the team a genuine power in English football. Although Leeds have not won any trophies under their young manager they have been consistent in the big competitions and raised Leeds profile to a position higher than any time since the Don Revie days.

Team performance
Season	League pos.	Europe
1998/99	5th	N/A
1999/2000	3rd	UEFA Cup Semi-final
2000/2001	4th	UEFA Champions' League Semi-final
2001/2002	5th	UEFA Cup Round 4

The transfer expenditure has been a stick that many people have been happy to beat David O'Leary with. According to Leeds United, O'Leary has spent a net £65.03m in building a squad that is worth around £100m. There has been much wheeling and dealing to get the present squad. Including selling fifteen players (including an unfortunate five to Bradford) and buying eighteen players, of which eleven cost more than £4m. Lists of these players are available at the official Leeds site.

O'Leary has made few bargain buys. Ferdinand is worth considerably more than he cost, as are Dacourt and Viduka. Unfortunately too many purchases have proved to be fully priced. Add to this the sales of players in the squad, that O'Leary inherited, like Hasselbaink (12m), Jones (3.25m) and Haaland (2.8m) and it is clear that the net figure is slightly better than it might have been. Other players like Bowyer, Kewell and Martyn were also inherited by O'Leary.

Major transfers
Player	Cost	Possible worth
Rio Ferdinand	18m	25m
Robbie Keane	12m	7m
Robbie Fowler	11m	10m
Oliver Dacourt	7.2m	12m
Seth Johnson	7m	3m
Mark Viduka	6m	10m
Darren Huckerby	5.5m	Sold for 3.5m
Michael Bridges	5m	1m
Michael Duberry	4.5m	1m
David Batty	4.4m	0m
Dominic Matteo	4.25m	5m
Danny Mills	4m	5m
Eirik Bakke	1.75m	3m
Total	90.5m	85.5m

So in terms of league positions and European campaigns David O'Leary has done OK, he's won nothing but he's raised the club to the threshold of the elite. His transfer dealings have been poor with only three bargains and more than half being loss makers. The third area of concern for Leeds has been off field.

His book 'Leeds United on trial' made capital of one of the most traumatic periods of Leeds history. The trial where several footballers, Lee Bowyer, Jonathan Woodgate, Tony Hackworth, Michael Duberry and some of Jonathon Woodgate's friends from Middlesbrough were tried for the allegedly racist attack on an Asian youth was not apparently the driving force for the book. But, at best, the title was not a clever one.

Repeatedly during his term in office O'Leary has used the media to speak out on a range of issues. When the Manchester United job was on offer he said he was 'not afraid of it'. When Lee Bowyer was railing against a club fine he was in the press saying that Bowyer 'would stay as long as he did'. When Rio Ferdinand, one of the stars of the World Cup, was linked with a host of clubs including Manchester United, O'Leary again said he was 'building a team around him'.

With Leeds in some financial difficulties the Ferdinand issue could be the straw that broke the camels back. Leeds need to recoup around £30m in lost revenues from two seasons European campaigns. Although O'Leary could have sanctioned the sale of want-away stars like Bowyer, Viduka and Dacourt perhaps Ferdinand is a sale too far. Ferdinand may not be exactly like O'Leary was as a player but he is close enough given recent changes.

Guus Hiddink is a maleable Dutchman and seem a sensible replacement, if Leeds grow tired of waiting for Martin O'Neill. Alternatively Mick McCarthy would be delighted to be offered the financial straitjacket of the Leeds job.

Where O'Leary will go from here is debatable. If Mick McCarthy is installed as Leeds manager then the Republic of Ireland would welcome him with open arms. Ditto Celtic if Martin O'Neill decides to move south. However a top English club is not likely to invest in a spendthrift manager with no history of success. Perhaps David O'Leary had better contact his friends in media for his next paid position.

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Bookmakers William Hill report heavy backing for both Mick McCarthy and Martin O'Neill to become the next permanent Leeds United manager. Hills make O'Neill 4/6 favourite to get the job with McCarthy 9/4 second favourite, and also offer 7/2 Steve McLaren; 6/1 Gus Hiddink; Gordon Strachan; 8/1 Graham Souness; 16/1 Peter Taylor.

92 Improving, but out.

The heat combined with injuries to England's three most important creative players combined to produce another insipid second-half performance. There is no doubt this England side is improving but how can it make the next step up and become a genuine title contender?

England are usually eliminated from a World Cup as soon as they have to play one of the BIGA (Brazil, Italy, Germany or Argentina) nations. The list of recent failures is indicative

2002, quarter-final Brazil 1-2.

1998, last 16, Argentina 2-2 (lost on penalties).

1994, did not qualify.

1990, semi-final, West Germany, 1-1 (lost on penalties).

1986, quarter-final Argentina 1-2 (hand of god).

1982, second group stage elimination following draws with Italy and Germany.

1978, did not qualify.

1974, did not qualify.

1970, quarter-final, West Germany, 2-3.

This time England progressed by beating Argentina before succumbing to Brazil - this does represent progress. And there are two distinct ways to interpret the succession of near misses suffered by the England team

Firstly, given how well England usually do when they actually get to the finals they must come good eventually. More than a generation has passed since England failed to get through the first group stage. One of these days England must put a couple of performances together that will get them to the final

Alternatively you could say that the England team chokes when faced with a BIGA team in the latter stages of major tournaments. Given that they always do choke, perhaps they always will. Only if England are given a route to the final that avoids Brazil, Italy, Germany and Argentina can they hope to again win the tournament. Given the history of the World Cup this is probably a forlorn hope

In the year or so since the Daily Mail got so outraged about the appointment of a foreign coach England have come a long way. From the initial suggestion that England should abandon even attempting to qualify for this world cup England grew into strong outsiders. A win over Brazil would have turned England into strong favourites. But, but, but. England again choked on the big stage against the big team

Can Sven turn these nearly-men into worthy champions? Well the examples of Turkey, Korea, USA et al offer a kind of hope. England's route to the final may not always be blocked with bogey teams, and with all the mental improvements that he has brought to the team perhaps our svengali can help England make the biggest step up in any sport. The step from being a contender into being the champion.

89 90 - day four.

GORDON TINKER

A shot rang out. This reduced the tedium somewhat. As Tinker lay bleeding on the floor his thoughts ran through the previous 24 hours.

He had been to see the Palmer campaign team and discussed the security issues with the manager and had failed to impress the danger of the situation on Palmer. Palmer was looking forward to the Arsenal game and would be in the dugout. He was sure that Tinker could deal with the threat - if there really was one.

On his way back he had fielded a call from his distressed number two Boston. His daughter had popped out for a kebab (three days ago) and had not been seen since. Unfortunately due to a mix up with the phone company Boston had been cut off and the ransom threat was held up in the post due to a wildcat strike. So Boston had only just received his instructions on how to get his daughter safely returned.

Boston had been drinking heavily and was in no fit state to go to the rendezvous and so Tinker had gone in his place. The negotiation had gone badly. The kidnapper wanted Boston to kill Palmer, without the complicated preamble and sub-plots that Tinker was expecting. There would be no train or plane crashes, no massive explosions or guns smuggled through security.

The kidnapper called himself Zlatko (usual pronunciation) and was clearly not the subtle terrorist that Tinker was expecting. 250 pounds (so quite fat really) and the best part of two metres high (quite tall as well), he sweated profusely (well his type usually do) even though it was a mild afternoon.

The negotiation had been brief and brutal, laughing at Zlatko's idea before lunging for his gun had proved fatal. The bullet had lodged in his stomach and now he was regretting his smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel and champagne lunch. You should never have rich food before being shot in the stomach - it ruins the digestion.

Zlatko checked the safety on his gun, shooting Tinker was a mistake but letting him live now would compound that mistake. Zlatko sighted the gun on Tinker.

Tinker had a revelation, the call he received the previous Sunday, he now recognised the caller. How obvious! If he could just pass the information on to Boston he could save Palmer, save Boston's daughter and he may well be on course for a knighthood! He could imagine the ceremony now …

A second shot rang out.

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90 is a work of fiction, none of the characters exist and if there are any coincidental name/career/organisation matches with real life then they are not intended and hopefully will not cause offence.

87 Beckham 44.

Has David Beckham scaled new heights or is he being set up for another fall.

The shouting has died down, the hangovers have started to fade and the feeling that something important has just gone by continues to grow. Was Beckham's thumping penalty kick merely another false dawn before inevitable humiliation against Nigeria or could it possibly be the start of something better.

Four years ago in St Etienne, France, Beckham was tempted into a moment of recklessness and he was sent off. Many teams have won important games before with just ten men. As an example the French team that won the cup was down to ten men when Laurent Blanc, their talismanic captain, was sent off in the semi-final following an incident with the Croatian, Slaven Bilic. But when David Beckham was sent off the majority of England blamed him.

Other players have been pilloried for mistakes in an England shirt. Phil Neville was not Mr. Popular after Euro 2000, Chris Waddle was given stick at many grounds following Italia '90 and John Barnes was foully abused throughout the 1990's - partly from England games and partly because he was black.

But the vitriol following France '98, including the effigy hung in east London and the songs from England fans questioning his wife's sexual habits were followed by the hateful chants regarding his son. The newspapers printed articles placing Beckham as a hate figure for British society.

How he had the strength of character to stay in the country when major European sides were offering so much money for him to leave is perhaps the start of the path that lead us to the 44th minute in that air conditioned Japanese stadium.

Four years on, he has become the BBC sports personality of the year. He is lauded as one of only three world-class players available to England. And he was offered the get-out clause of Michael Owen offering to take the penalty kick. Would Beckham have taken the kick if not for all the baggage of four years ago? I don't think so - because the callow youth of four years ago would have taken the easier option.

All that hatred, bile and vitriol turned David Beckham into a man. Sure he had doubts as he placed the ball, but this David Beckham was able to face the doubts.

England are still unlikely to win the world cup, because although they have now proved they can beat anybody they have also proved they can be beaten by anybody. All things being equal Italy, Brazil, France or even Argentina will put them out of this World Cup at some stage.

But if/when England are eliminated let's hope that whoever made the mistake that 'cost us the chance of glory' is given a better deal than Beckham was. Perhaps in this Jubilee year that will show more of the kind of country that we live in, than massive sham demonstrations of xenophobia dressed up as patriotism.

86 90 - day three

CAROL PALMER

At Carol Palmer's campaign headquarters there is a heated debate raging.

'But…'

Interceded Palmer's proposed assistant manager David Piath. Piath had a Boy's Own career, not the popular pop group from the 1990's, although he was once romantically linked to a spice girl in a particularly vivid dream he had. He played in a World Cup semi-final, had several seasons at the top level in Italy as well as winning championships and cups during his domestic career in England.

'But me no buts'

Quoted Palmer, the trans-sexual England managerial candidate.

'You're ahead in the polls, the last thing we need is this candidacy to become enmeshed in a scandal.'

'But my son has just attacked King George*, with a machete, during his coronation! Don't you think someone will have noticed?'

'It's a minor diplomatic incident, it's only a minor limb and surgeons believe they can re-attach it.'

'I must say, I thought the king showed tremendous stoicism in continuing the ceremony despite considerable blood loss…'

'Broke in Palmer's latest partner, the lead singer and oboe player with top grunge thrash soul outfit 'We Hate Us' - Bartholomew 'Sid' James.'

'…I thought that he passed out with considerable dignity…'

'He was interrupted, thankfully, by the head of Palmer's security team - Bill Brick.'

'Ms Palmer.'

'Yes?'

'We have intercepted a transmission at the PFU CTU that suggests an attempt will be made on your life, sometime in the next few weeks.'

'Should we increase our security measures?'

'No, not yet. We have a strong suspicion that the terrorists will bungle their first attempt to kill you, due to massive over-complication.'

'That's a relief.'

'Unfortunately, subsequent attacks will be significantly simpler.'

'What do we do then?'

'I'm going to speak to a contact I have at the PFU and see how their investigation is going, then I'll come back with a full threat assessment. In the meantime consider cutting back on public engagements. Delegate your team talks and perhaps employ a body double to sit in the dugout during games.'

'I know you mean well, Bill. But I cannot be seen to go missing during this election campaign. You do not become manager of England without taking risks.'

'Please, at least maintain a low profile while I assess the threat.'

'OK. I'll need a threat assessment within a week, before the cup tie with Arsenal.'

'You'll have it Manager Palmer.'

'[*] Following her triumphant Golden Jubilee in 2002, Queen Elizabeth decided to spend more time with her subjects. But following an incident with a mars bar as she swam in Slough Public Baths, the old queen withdrew from public life. She then abdicated in the spring of 2005 and retired to Scotland - just as the Scottish Independence movement gathered momentum.'

'Prince Charles had long since decided to have a different name as king and having ruled out Mohammed, Clarkie and Jesus he settled for George.'

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90 is a work of fiction, none of the characters exist and if there are any coincidental name/career/organisation matches with real life then they are not intended and hopefully will not cause offence.