575: Premiership managers brawl: Gr

by : Colin Illingworth

Gary Lineker: Hello and welcome to the new and improved Premiership Managers Brawl live from Ewood Park where, tonight, Blackburn Rovers manager Graeme Souness gets to grip with his Everton counterpart David Moyes. With me for this new look PMB is the commentator of all commentators, Mr sheepskin himself, John Motson.
John Motson: Hello.
Gary: Alongside Motty is his faithful co-commentator, the man with the best managerial record ever, Mister West Ham, Trevor Brooking.
Trevor: Evening Gary.
Gary: And in the studio with me, two of the most respected analysts in the game, and former Liverpool defenders, Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson.
Alan: Evening.
Mark: Hello.
Gary: Tonight’s brawl may appear to some like two angry, fiery, Scots knocking ten bells out of each other but if you look back at their careers you’ll realise that there’s been a bit of history between the pair.
Mark: There is that. Souness of course use to be the hard tackling midfield maestro with us at Liverpool and squaring up against an Evertonian will definitely spur him on to win, even though he needs no incentive.
Alan: Aye but it’s not just that. There’s an even bigger hatred between them as both men have played for opposing sides of the Old Firm, and as we all now there’s no love loss between those two.
Gary: Don’t we just but the thing is that we have never seen any kind of trouble brewing between the two.
Alan: No we haven’t but theses kind of feuds are like spots. They’ve a nasty way of festering inside before finally exploding when you least expect it, and I for one am hoping that this will be the case tonight especially for these die hard fans inside the ground, and around the world.
Mark: You have to remember that at the mur-ment both managers are dogged with the threat of relegation but I’m sure that’s because they’ve directed all of their energy into this fight tonight.
Alan: Aye, neither of them likes to lose and I’m sure that this is going to be a right mouth-watering clash.
Gary: Indeed, well, we’re just moments away from this huge face off and it’s an ideal opportunity to get the latest betting news from the only man in the know, Statto.
Statto: Evening gang. Well as you can expect the bookies have made a packet out of these contests and tonight will be no exception with a whole list of exceptionally good bets on offer. First off let’s start with the odds on a winner, Souness has been installed as slight favourite, what with home advantage and experience of playing and managing across Europe, at 2/1. No doubt Souey has picked up a few tricks on his travels but you can’t discount Moyes who is fairly priced at 1/3. However, as you must surely all be aware by now, anything can happen in Premiership Managers Brawl and the bookies will except any bet going and these are some of the best on offer. At 33/1 you’ll get good money if former Old Firm pals become involved in a pitch battle. At 50/1 you’ll get odds that Souness will grow his trademark 70’s perm back for the occasion while only those with money to burn will be tempted by this one at 100/1, Wayne Rooney and Lucas Neil to hit the ring and appeal for calm!
The studio panel laugh.
Alan: There’s more chance of me becoming a manager than Rooney and Neil saying ‘Calm down, Calm down!’
Gary: Thanks Statto for the betting news. Well we’ve got it on good authority that both fighters are ready so without further to do, let’s hand over to the boys in the gantry, John Motson and Trevor Brooking.
Motty: Thanks Gary and well this crowd is certainly pumped up for this. I’ve not heard this stadium so vocal since the famous Premiership winning campaign in 1995.
Trevor: To be honest, Motty, they haven’t had much to cheer about since then really, have they?
Motty: No but then neither have your beloved Hammers!
Trevor: Oh, we’ll have less of that, Sheepy.
Motty: We certainly will, as here comes the ring announcer with the all-important ring introductions.
Ring announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen… it’s Showtime!
The Blackburn faithful cheer ecstatically.
Ring announcer: Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at a lean 12 stones, and standing 5ft 10, wearing the blue and white shirt of Blackburn Rovers, it’s the one, the only, Graeme ‘The Savage’ Souness!
Souness jogs down to the ring looking totally focused as Tina Turner’s epic ‘Simply the Best’ booms around Ewood Park.
Motty: He’s looking in great shape.

574: The agitator #3

by : Antony Melvin

The secret diary of the man who gets things done.

Monday
Almost looking forward to Sunday and the close of the window. Almost. This week the press will be at their most gullible looking for anything, anything that might bring in the punters. I believe there have been four sales during the window to date (Saha, Cort, James, Brown) and very few loan deals. Arsenal are pleading poverty (still) and Chelsea have yet to buy – so they are prime targets for a bit of agitation.

Today, however, is week three, day one of upset Man Utd month. And every paper is saying the Cubic Impression is about to a) Launch a takeover bid, b) Sack Fergie, c) Sack everyone else who hasn’t tugged their forelock sufficiently. Far be it for us to complain at doing a job so well. But should every paper be this gullible? We feel that the money spent by our clients on operation upset Man Utd has now been covered. And to cover our tracks expect some good news emanating from M16.

Tuesday
News broke of a £16.6m (TalkSport) or £20m (BBC) deal for Jose Antonio Reyes by Arsenal. We are gratified at our ability to provide enough transfer ‘noise’ to allow this deal to go through without a leak. Whereas Patrick Vieira felt he needed to quash any speculation about joining Real Madrid shortly before he created some by saying ‘I’m happy and I don’t need to go for the money’. Sounds, to us, like a ‘come and get me plea’.

Alex Ferguson will sign a new deal this week (Mirror, Express) and likes the idea of a deal that challenges him (Telegraph). Well spending £4m each year on legal disputes is a tough one. Bolton will offer their best player Okocha a new contract (Guardian) – well that one came out of left-field.

Wednesday
Man Utd have been rattled sufficiently to only offer a one year rolling contract to their manager at £4m per year. We at Agitator Acres are at a loss as to how he will cope on such a pittance. This is in the teeth of interest from Juventus, Inter Milan and “another unnamed European Club” (Express) – (shorthand for ‘we’re making this bit up’).

Butt for Birmingham (Mirror) or nowhere (Guardian). Some concern at AA as to how late Spurs are leaving it. Peter Reid for Southampton boss (Star), well they clearly must be having financial problems and are looking for a man to take them into the concomitant relegation scrap.

Thursday
Gratified to be honoured in quote by Alan Sugar “thieves, fraudsters and opportunistic scum” (Mail). You know the quality of your work by the desperation of your detractors. The return of the third ‘spice boy’ to Man City, with the fourth trying to, ahem, get to know Jordon on live TV, gave us an idea. Why not create a new set of spice boys at Liverpool! The press always like that kind of thing as it gives them lots of cheap reprint copy, or photo montages. So it will have surprised nobody that El Hadji Diouf ‘broke a curfew … came back with a very beautiful lady from a good family’ according to a Tunisian police source (Star, Express). Well we’ve been called many things. Expect more Anfield antics in the coming weeks.

Danny Mills has upset Middlesbrough with his wage demands (Star), we (along with many others) were astonished that he actually demanded wages. Most Sunday League players have to pay subs. Spotlight back on Arsenal, the tabloids are desperate; Wiltord out (Star), Frey in (Star), Persie summer (Independent). Whereas Chelsea just need 8 world class players for a decent squad (Guardian). So Zidane, Ronaldo, Buffon, Raul, Ballack, Marsden, Postiga and Trundle. Ruud van Nistelrooy will accept 90,000 per week and all the hay he can eat (Sun, Express) – which will please those nice people at Man Utd.

Friday
Solano moved to Villa which leaves Sir Bobby free to offer £3m for Stephen Carr (Telegraph). Good business at St James, and Newcastle are continuing to accept our advice to snub Butt (Times). Spurs are leaving this very late!

Owen Hargreaves has retained our services in a bid to return to a country where female body hair is rare(ish) and cannibals are only heard of in Biggles books. So no surprise that Chelsea are after him (Star). Apparently West Ham aren’t selling Defoe – so no offers at all then.

Ahh the weekend and the end of the transfer window. No shock moves planned – but then again! Come on Spurs!

Weekend
Champneys Health Spa.

Antony Melvin was rooting through the bins of the rich and famous

570: He's Scott no future with Chel

by : Sam Nicholson

It may sound strange coming from a Chelsea fan, but I personally hope that Scott Parker doesn’t join the Blues this season. Invariably, when one of the ‘big clubs’ shows interest in a player from a smaller club, the smaller of the two eventually ends up giving in and accepting the bid. You only need to look at Luis Saha’s swift move to United to see exactly how the system works (and I have more to say on that matter too!). So Charlton won’t let him go… yet. Well I sincerely hope that they don’t let him go at all. Scott Parker has been playing brilliantly this season and deserves all the recognition that he gets. His contribution has no doubt been crucial to the success of the Addicks this season, and his skill has been matched by hard work all the way. He possesses a number of great qualities (strength, speed and genuine ability on the ball) that could help him to become a big name both domestically and on the international scene, and although he may not necessarily become one of the greats, he certainly has a lot to offer the game.

So if I believe that he is such a great talent, then why would I prefer him not to go to Chelsea? The answer is simple: He would be wasted at Stamford Bridge. The Chelsea squad is saturated with talent, with individuals that have shown great ability in both in Europe and internationally. Ranieri has now chosen his main players and there doesn’t seem much room for a Scott Parker in the lineup. Joe Cole can’t get a full ninety minutes this season, yet people have been talking about his talent for years now. It is often suggested that Chelsea could do with less European flair and a bit more English grit to their game. If they are to become genuine title contenders, they must learn to scrap for points with greater success. Another battling Englishman in the lineup would therefore be welcome: another Frank Lampard perhaps.

To many, Lampard has been a nice surprise since he arrived: nobody seriously thought that he would do so well at Stamford Bridge, yet he has been brilliant. His superb play this season has been has been backed up with some great goals; Ranieri has stated on many occasions just how highly he rates him. But the key to his success must undoubtedly be his increasingly strong performances. Every game has seen a marked improvement in his game and had he not been so consistent, there’s every chance that he would be warming the bench by now. Alongside Lampard, Makalele has also been superb this season, forming the other half of a duo that must surely constitute the strongest central midfield in the Premiership. Makalele has International experience and has already played for big clubs; his reputation had already earned him a place in the team before his performances could do the talking. Emmanuel Petit played at the weekend for the first time in ages, and he was brilliant, so that’s Makalele’s replacement sorted out should any injuries occur. And then there’s the rest of the Chelsea midfield that I haven’t yet mentioned: Stanic, Veron, Duff, Geremi, Gronkjaer.

Realistically, I don’t think Scott Parker could possibly get a regular game with Chelsea. At least two players from the list above should serve as a warning to Scott, as an example of why players should consider transfers very carefully. He is currently playing with an established Premiership club, with the prospect of European football becoming a genuine possibility rather than a dream, and he has already had a call-up for England; big things are on the horizon for this young talent, and success is already coming to fruition. If he joins Chelsea now, he may become prolific, one of the biggest stars in the team and maybe in the world; on the other hand, he may become another wasted talent. Let’s hope he makes the right choice, for football’s sake.

Sam Nicholson
27/01/2004

569: Transfer window: Chelsea

by : David Hulott

With the recent dip in form at Stamford Bridge, it seems somewhat surprising that Roman Abramovich has yet to embark on a spending spree to replenish his squad in the January sales. With time running out until the transfer window slams shut, it seems only fair to offer a few suggestions as to how he might be able to keep his playthings in with a shout of the major honours this season. Let’s face it, there’s not much point my speculating on new faces arriving at Elland Road anytime soon is there?

Even though the Russian billionaire stated at the start of the season that he did not expect overnight success at Stamford Bridge, the temptation must be there to bring in half-a-dozen new faces. There simply must be someone, somewhere who could do a better job than Jesper Gronkjaer on the right-flank?

The one player with whom the Blues have been consistently linked over the past few weeks is Charlton Athletic’s midfielder Scott Parker. With Emmanuel Petit a mere shadow of the player he was a few seasons back, Parker would certainly help take some of the burden off the shoulders of the excellent Frank Lampard and seems desperate to make the move. There has been talk of Joe Cole being offered in part-exchange, although the likelihood is that Carlton Cole, currently on loan at The Valley, would surely be more realistic as part of any deal?

There is also plenty of speculation surrounding Petr Cech making a move from Rennes in France. Many will question the wisdom in bringing in a new keeper when Carlo Cudicini has done little wrong, but Cech is already different class and definitely one with a big future.

At right-back, it shouldn’t be forgotten that Glen Johnson was only just making his way in the West Ham United side this time last year, so it’s hardly surprising that he has sometimes found the step up to regular first-team football at the highest level a little difficult to bridge. Time is very much on his side, but seeing as Mario Melchiot doesn’t really look like the answer in the short to medium term, the club could do with some fresh legs. Hatem Trabelsi, the Tunisian international at Ajax has been mentioned as a possible option, but a better bet could be Massimo Oddo at Lazio. He’s often second-choice right-back for both club and country, with Jaap Stam and Christian Panucci ahead of him in the pecking order. Given Lazio’s dire financial predicament, they would be unlikely to turn down the kind of money that Chelsea could offer.

As for a replacement for Gronkjaer, well someone with a vague notion of how to cross a ball would be a start. Having already lost Louis Saha to Manchester United for what seems to be an incredible amount of money, Fulham are probably under no immediate pressure to sell and will certainly be reluctant to part with another of their main assets. Even so, money talks and Steed Malbranque is a quality and versatile player who could certainly do a job at the Cottagers' London neighbours.

The one other area where Chelsea have been somewhat lacking so far this season is in the goalscoring department. It seems that whatever combination of Adrian Mutu, Hernan Crespo, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink and Eidur Gudjohnsen takes to the field, they fail to hit the net on the kind of regular basis one might have expected. When a club has the kind of financial clout that the Londoners have, it’s tempting to suggest the likes of proven world-class strikers such as Thierry Henry, Ronaldo or Ruud van Nistelrooy to provide the firepower. But why not take a calculated gamble on someone who could build his reputation at the club? Mateja Kezman has been prolific at PSV Eindhoven and is surely ready for the step up to the next level now?

So that’s the five new signings sorted Mr Abramovich – Parker, Cech, Oddo, Malbranque and Kezman. Please leave the brown envelope stuffed with used tenners in the usual place for "consultancy fees" and feel free to add a sixth name to your list of potential new recruits – please take back Jody Morris!!!!

David Hulott
27/01/2004

571: PREMIERSHIP: The Winston Bogar

by : Steven Coventry

It was reported this week that PSV are interested in taking Winston Bogarde back to Holland, thus ending the nightmare of Britain’s highest paid reserve player.

PSV’s interest, on the face of it, is understandable, after all Bogarde boasts an impressive CV - Champions League finals, international recognition, spells at Ajax, Milan and Barcelona. But he has played just a handful of games since his move to Chelsea in 2000.

To many Winston Bogarde represents everything that is wrong with modern football. The press portrays him as the classic football mercenary - over-paid, under-played and over here. But I can’t help thinking that poor old Winston has got a bit of a raw deal.

Admittedly he doesn’t help his own cause. Bogarde resolutely refuses to talk to the press. The only time he talks about his predicament is on his website.

The entries are surprisingly revealing:

He has never criticised his employers; he admits he is having a difficult time at Chelsea; he hopes another club will come in for him; but until that happens he intends to see out his contract.

The problem for Bogarde is that for the average fan the worst thing that any player can be is ‘mercenary’. A former ‘Hero’ soon becomes a ‘Judas’, if he moves to another club with deeper pockets. Similarly by refusing to leave when they are no longer wanted, a player is open to the accusation that they’re only in it for the money.

My issue is this, why should the normal rules of life no longer apply when it comes to football?

How many of us if offered a better job would have to think twice about taking it? Why is it then that a footballer is unable to have ambition or agree a deal to set he and his family up for life, without being accused of the worst form of treachery? By the same token, why is a player who has signed a contract in good faith not allowed to see the deal out?

And what of Chelsea in this whole farrago? The truth is that no one really knows what is happening. Bogarde is said to train with the youth team. Some papers claim that he commutes to training - if he trains at all - from Amsterdam (something the player adamantly denies). How has this situation been allowed to develop like this? Who at Chelsea has responsibility for dealing with him on a day-to-day basis?

If the problem is Bogarde’s inflated wages and lack of games, why have the club not sent him out on loan and paid part of his wages to get him in the shop window?

During the summer there was talk that an arrangement would be reached with Bogarde to buy out the remainder of his contract. What happened to this idea? Have they offered him a pay-off, which he isn’t happy with? Have they offered him a free-transfer? Have Roman’s heavies threatened him with incarceration in the Gulag? We simply don’t know.

It might very well be that Bogarde is everything that the press make him out to be. Or it may be that here is a player whose career has stalled, who hopes that someone will come in for him but whose only security is the contract he signed. I can’t help feeling sorry for Winston because I know that in his position I would do exactly the same.

Postscript:

On his website Bogarde later confirmed that PSV had indeed made an offer for his services. PSV themselves have denied any interest.

Steven Coventry
27/01/2004

567: Ferdinand: WADA fine mess (par

by : Tim Heming

Manchester United were never going to be happy with the punishment dished out to their most expensive signing, solicitor Maurice Watkins citing precedent of nominal punishment in previous cases (including Christian Negouai of their city rivals - just to rub it in) with the 8-month sentence for Ferdinand seemingly plucked out of the air.

As United compile a 125-page appeal document we, the watching public, are irritatingly left to make up our own minds over the rights and wrongs of the sentence based purely on press speculation and spin - the private hearing giving us none of the facts that would openly justify the FA’s decision. The suspicion surrounding a closed case of this nature is a lesson to be learned for the future, particularly when the only spokespeople in the know are commentators with a vested interest such as the PFA chief executive Gordon Taylor:

“We knew there would have to be a penalty. But an eight-month ban and £50,000 fine is, I feel, very draconian. I felt there was every opportunity for the FA to give him the benefit of the doubt."

Dick Pound, chairman of the World Anti Doping Agency (WADA) sits far to the right of Taylor’s player-cradling role. WADA want a two-year suspension introduced for any athlete found guilty of knowingly using performance-enhancing steroids, and is looking for global harmonisation of this across all sports. "I don't know what the disciplinary board heard that caused them to give a penalty that is only a third of the maximum. They have obviously heard something they feel mitigates the penalty.”

Football, as yet, has held back from signing up to the code, a decision which Pound does not take kindly to: “I don’t know what the stumbling block is. It makes me wonder if these people are able to read or not.” The suggestion is that the independent organisations that won’t sign up, namely FIFA and the International Cycling Union, will not do so because of the threat of legal battles against individual athletes running their costs into millions. It’s a situation that will have to give one way or the other or the impending Athens Olympic Games Football Tournament of 2004 faces being shelved.

Pound’s black and white view may be seen as draconian by forgetful souls such as Rio Ferdinand, but although the Canadian might be setting his organisation up on a pedestal, few can argue that WADA’s motives have the global future of sport at heart. Whether they succeed or not will depend largely on their capacity to reign victorious over the powerful self-serving institutions, in this case Manchester United PLC, whose money-first mentality seemingly leads them to back their valued employees regardless of the circumstances.

The siege spirit that trickles down from the manager to his playing staff may make for a winning football team on the pitch, but the attitude in which clubs singularly bend the truth in order to look out only for themselves is ultimately detrimental to the game as a whole. Where United fans can boast of team bonding that has earned unparalleled success over the past decade, and led to the defence of the indefensible in the case of Rio Ferdinand, WADA seek to take on the might of Old Trafford, with only an archaic, pedestrian, and penniless FA for support. They have their work cut out indeed.

Tim Heming
20/01/2004

by : Tim Heming

Football was in a privileged position. It wasn’t the first sport to be put under the microscope for chemical cheating and it wouldn’t be the last, but it could look at the way the advancement of abuse has, to many, destroyed all credibility of pursuits like athletics and cycling and vow not to make the same mistakes. The governing bodies (FIFA and the FA) plus the PFA, Manchester United football club and all the individuals within had a moral duty in trying to protect the fast-fraying threads of the game’s wholesome image. But did they? Or did they resort to embittered infighting over their own self-importance? As so often, the latter proved the popular choice.

There have been cases in football before, Edgar Davids, Fernando Couto, Frank de Boer and Jaap Stam, all high profile and penalised over the use of Nandrolone whilst playing in Italy, but the Rio Ferdinand case from a British perspective far outweighs any of them. And yet the ham-fisted debacle this has turned into has left the sport in this country, at a time when it was badly in need of a shot of positive publicity, dragged through the gutter with far longer term effects than any alleged ‘roastings’ in swanky London hotels.

Ferdinand’s ban, whilst currently standing at eight months from a time of his choosing (and challenging) has taken so long to come to fruition as even to be criticised by FIFA clown-prince Sepp Blatter - ironic considering how quickly it was initially picked up through an online media leak and how rapidly Ferdinand was subsequently ejected from the England squad for the Euro qualifier against Turkey. You’d be forgiven for thinking the stiff-lipped FA would laugh off comments like this from a man who goes on record to say that the ‘other half’ of professional football should wear tighter shorts to improve their image, yet Blatter is still (frighteningly and by some less than transparent means) running the worldwide game. And shockingly, in this case, elements of his criticism (centring on Ferdinand being allowed to continue to play football) have some justification. Although it is fine to reason that any player should be deemed innocent until proven otherwise by the time of the disciplinary hearing and scheduling of the sentence, his club, with his influence, may have already gone half way to sewing up their ninth title in twelve years.

This unnecessary delay (unnecessary because we are simply waiting for the events of a few hours on September 23rd to be collated) undermines Mark Palios’ initial brave stance in pulling Ferdinand from the travelling party to Istanbul, whilst raising the question of double standards as he continues to ply his trade for Manchester United. When even Blatter is making sense we must be in a mess.

Not withstanding their own stagnant administration process the Football Association have been even further compromised over the Rio Ferdinand case. As well as having to answer for the bumblings of UK Sport over the simple task of failing to collect a urine sample, they could have left themselves open to the accusation of self-serving the national side. By the time the disciplinary commission eventually sat to hear the case, anything less than an eight month ban would have effectively ruled the player out of the remainder of the Premiership season whilst leaving the him fresh to represent his country in the European Championships. Thus, any ban would have to extend over the summer period as well. And so it followed.

Tim Heming
20/01/2004

by : Alicia Anderson

‘We love you Seaman’ were the sentiments scrawled across the vest of Nicolas Anelka last week. Rarely seen to be celebrating anything these days, the unhappy French forward tore the Manchester City shirt from his body as if the thing was on fire after he finally put City in the lead during David James’s debut game against Blackburn. It was a message from one troubled footballer to another.

Before the start of that match, immaculately dressed and perfectly groomed, David Seaman led his little girl, Georgina (in Manchester City strip from head to foot) to accompany him, as he finally said ‘Goodbye’ to the game. His retirement has been mournful for so many reasons – not in the least because he was an ambassador for the dilemma that hits every thirty-something staring into the abyss of a disappearing youth: ‘Am I too old to carry on doing this?’ Sadly notice was cruelly served to Seaman by every newspaper headline in the country after Ronaldinho put an end to England’s world cup ambition in 2002. His tearful embrace of David Beckham on every front page was the looking glass he simply couldn’t bear to face – and who, in all honesty, could blame him?

Given the passage of time however, it will hopefully be the gritty, difficult, typically English semi-final against Sheffield United that will become the emblem of David Seaman’s Swansong. It was the 84th minute of his 1,000th professional game and Arsenal were uncomfortably leading once again by a slender thread. The build up to the single winning goal had been controversial as Sol Campbell went unpunished for a foul on Wayne Allison, Patrick Vieira limped off in agony, and United went on to dominate when Paul Peschisolido came off the subs bench, fervently hoping to make a difference.

To this day Peschisolido is very likely baffled by the replays of the game – Asaba made a cross that he was certain to have headed away from the goalkeeper, but in a moment Seaman modestly described as ‘instinct’, he stretched out his right hand and clawed the ball out of danger. ‘I just flung my arm and tried to get something on it.’ ‘He must have shovels on his hands,’ remarked Peter Schmeicel, who is widely appreciated for being the finest ever keeper; ‘It was incredible.’ Another save from Omerod in the Final sealed it for Arsenal, and before the end of the day Seaman was lifting the cup with the very iron hands that had won it.

In all honesty, it’s not easy to pick out glaring examples of David Seaman’s goalkeeping nightmares, and his association with a DVD of the same name is insulting to his long and brilliant career. Like Tony Adams’s ‘Addicted,’ it is a strange cleansing exercise by someone who is filled with indecision and uncertainty about having to face retirement years before the human spirit is ready. Like ‘Addicted’ it has a masochistic quality, but then taking control of unearthing our own darkest and most embarrassing moments does deprive anyone else - the press, for example from being able to do so on our behalf.

Whatever David Seaman decides to do from here-on in, I’m sure I’m not alone in wishing him the very best. It would be nice to see him return to Arsenal in some coaching capacity, as Highbury is indisputably his rightful home - and Georgina, after all, looks much more comfortable wearing red and white!

Alicia Anderson
25/01/2004

by : David Hulott

CANARIES INVEST FOR SUCCESS

Back in October 1993, Mike Walker’s Norwich City came away from the Olympiastadion, Munich with a fully merited 2:1 win at the mighty Bayern Munich in the UEFA Cup, 2nd round, 1st leg. The second-leg was drawn 1:1 and with the club also performing admirably domestically, it seemed that the Canaries had arrived as a force in English football.

A few months earlier, Walker had requested the funds to bring in two new signings as the Norfolk side sat top of the Premiership, only to be turned down by the then chairman, Robert Chase. Within 18-months or so of the win in Germany, the dream was over, City were relegated and the club has spent every season since plying their trade in Division One.

Since his appointment in January 2001, Nigel Worthington has built a well-balanced squad, with a good spine to the team in the likes of Robert Green, Malky Mackay, Gary Holt and Paul McVeigh. The summer recruits of Jim Brennan, Damien Francis and Marc Edworthy certainly strengthened Worthington’s hand further still, but they still lacked the 20-goal striker he’d identified as his principal target in the close season.

It seemed that the club were destined for another season chasing a play-off place at best, but then Worthington pulled off something of a masterstroke in September, bringing in Darren Huckerby, Peter Crouch and Kevin Harper on loan. City’s fortunes took off almost instantaneously with Huckerby, who has so often flattered to deceive in the top-flight, becoming an immediate favourite with the fans.

Despite calls for all three to be signed, it did seem that there was little hope of the board releasing the funds required. It was difficult to argue with such prudence, given the lack of TV revenue after the collapse of ITV Digital and with so many clubs carrying crippling debts from years of paying inflated salaries to average players, it’s relatively rare these days for a Nationwide League club to take a calculated gamble on buying players in a bid to push for the Premiership.

However, enter majority shareholders Delia Smith and her husband Michael Wynn Jones with a £500,000 contribution to a new share issue, with the fans dipping into their pockets to contribute a further half-a-million plus, and Worthington was able to secure the services of not only Huckerby, but also those of fellow forwards Leon McKenzie and Mathias Svensson.

Now with in excess of 18,000 season ticket holders at Carrow Road, the feel-good factor at the club is at its highest since the halcyon days of Walker’s reign. A long overdue return to the Premiership could well be on the cards. Should they get there, further expenditure will surely be required to ensure that their stay in the Premiership is more than just a token season. Looks like Delia’s going to have to sell a few more pies.

David Hulott
26/01/2004

by : Alex Wolstenholme

The Football League is considering a `rebranding` exercise to give its league competition and the first division in particular a stronger identity. Even without this though the league has recovered remarkably well from the dark days of a couple of seasons ago.

With ITV Digital no more and the Premiership all conquering, the future for a large number of football league clubs did look bleak. Although the collapse of ITV Digital was used as a blanket excuse for some poor management over the years by some clubs there’s no doubt it was a hammer blow to many.

But the Nationwide has come back from the dead, aided by a couple of factors. Firstly the Premiership has faced something of a backlash after ten years of unquestioning media coverage with criticism about its predictability. Although the effect of this may be overstated there is no doubt that some people will have turned to their local side for their Saturday afternoon entertainment.

The opening up of the league to the Conference and below has brought in some well run and well supported clubs such as Yeovil to replace clubs who had been hanging in the league for years, kept afloat only by the re-election system. Contrary to fears, relegation to the Conference has not been the abyss it was feared. The likes of Doncaster have come back into the league in better shape than ever before.

The Conference itself is a vibrant competition with rising crowds and full time teams. Ex-league teams Chester and Exeter are looking healthy and winning games.

The new financial reality facing clubs has meant that they have had to reconnect with their supporters (whether they wanted to or not). QPR, Barnsley, Hull and others are enjoying the fruits of this with better crowds and better facilities while supporters are starting to have a say in the future of their clubs. After years of secrecy at Coventry fans are now kept informed about all the major decisions that the club is taking and played their own part in the go-ahead for a new stadium after a plea by the club to do so.

And most importantly of all is those fans themselves. There will always be big clubs in the football league and their fans aren’t going to desert them for more exciting premiership action down the road. Having the likes of Sunderland, West Ham in the league means that average crowds are up again this season and with all three divisions still wide open that interest should be kept up until the end of the campaign.

Alex Wolstenholme
26/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

The FA Cup has once again managed to throw up a potential clash of the titans as the draw for the fifth round was made on Monday lunchtime.

When the ties take place on the weekend of February 14 and 15 only sixteen clubs will maintain hopes of lifting the famous old trophy at Cardiff in May. While one of the big three of Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea will still be strongly fancied, the odds on a cheeky outsider carrying off the honours shortened slightly when Arsenal and Chelsea were drawn together in the fifth round's big tie.

Arsenal have faced Chelsea in each of the last three FA Cup competitions, and their record is flawless. They have come through each time and, indeed, have also gone on to reach the final in those years also. They will be bidding for a record-breaking fourth consecutive final appearance while Chelsea will view the FA Cup as one of many opportunities for their expensively assembled squad to pick up a trophy. The fact that the game is at Highbury may just giive the Gunners the edge that they need to dispose of their wealthy opponents, although much will depend on Arsene Wenger's selection policy.

Elsewhere there are two other all Premiership ties in round five. Firstly we have the possibility of a Manchester derby as United were drawn to face the winner of the Manchester City versus Tottenham tie. The two somehow contrived to draw 1-1 in Sunday's first tie as chance after chance was squandered on both sides. Perhaps the carrot of a match with the Champions in the last 16 will bring some much needed motivation to both strike forces.

Portsmouth, who have failed to win away from home all season in the league, will travel to Liverpool. Conquerers of Newcastle in round four, Liverpool will be heavily backed in this one, and Pompey's dismal away performances should see the Anfield club book their place in the quarter finals. The two meet again at Anfield in the league a week later. It is amazing how often that seems to happen with cup draws. Far be it from me to start conspiracy theories. I was the second gunman and all that, but fans of Arsenal and Middlesbrough might want to look into this theory a little closer after they ended up meeting four times in January due to the vagaries of cup draws. Still, at least they'll never meet in the Champions' League.

There was disappointment for the lower league sides remaining in the competition. The only non-league side left, Telford, will have a less than money-spinning home tie with Burnley should they pull off the minor miracle of knocking out Millwall in an as yet unplayed fourth round tie. The original fixture was called off on Saturday due to a waterlogged pitch. Third division Swansea have also managed to progress to the fifth round draw without so much as a sniff at one of the big boys. Their draw curse struck again when they were drawn away to second division Tranmere Rovers. The tie does at least guarantee the presence of a team outside the top two divisions in the quarter finals, but both would have been hoping for better things. Looking at it optmistically, both might well fancy their chances of progressing where a tie with a Premiership club will again be a possibility.

Some teams gain a reputation as being 'cup teams' over the years. It is usually the sort of nonsense that fans of increasingly desperate teams like Spurs or Newcastle hang on to for hope during the cold, barren, trophyless winters of discontent that they endure. However, Sheffield United might have a legitimate claim of this nature if their FA Cup progress continues. Semi finalists last year, the division one side have another great opportunity to progress to the quarter finals after landing a home tie with either Colchester United or Coventry City. Both are entirely beatable for Neil Warnock's men and a repeat of last year's heroics may not be beyond them.

That FA Cup Fifth Round Draw in full;

Manchester United v Manchester City or Tottenham Hotspur

Tranmere Rovers v Swansea City

Telford United or Millwall v Burnley

Sunderland v Birmingham City

Sheffield United v Colchester United or Coventry City

Arsenal v Chelsea

Liverpool v Portsmouth

Everton or Fulham v West Ham United

Stephen Orford
26/01/2004

by : Jason Walker

Manchester United and Arsenal are without a doubt the two most successful sides since the Premeirship’s introduction in 1993.
However they are not unbeatable, the teams playing them just need to show some belief and go into games against the big two thinking, “We can beat these”.

The likes of Bolton, Fulham and most recently Wolves have shown this with gutsy performances against Manchester United to defy all the critics.

Whilst relegation seems almost inevitable for the struggling midlanders Wolves will go back to Division One (if indeed that is their fate) happy in the knowledge that they provided the upset of the season.

It isn’t like it was a hugely weakened United team that they started against at Molineux a couple of weeks ago, the likes of Scholes, Van Nilsterooy and Howard all started the match.

Yet Wolves got in amongst them and didn’t let them pass the ball and in due course got their reward, a fantastic Kenny Miller winner on 67 minutes.

Earlier this season a spirited Fulham under the guidance of rookie boss Chris Coleman and hotly tipped for relegation in the summer went to Old Trafford and literally gave the Red Devils a battering. Winning 3-1 thanks to another gutsy, who the hell are you performance.

Going back through the archives Bolton beat Manchester United at Old Trafford in two consecutive seasons showing the world that the smaller teams can beat the big boys.

Lets not leave out Southampton either, who beat United 1-0 back in August thanks to the mercurial James Beattie.

Whilst Arsenal have yet to be beaten this season in the Premiership they too can be stopped. The likes of Leeds and Charlton have shown in recent seasons that it is possible with tremendous wins at Highbury.

Far too often you hear managers saying “Well a point would be fantastic”.

Yet instead of attacking the teams who are happy to settle for a draw or even a low score defeat at the hands of Arsenal and Manchester United let’s praise the likes of Wolves, Bolton, Fulham and Southampton who have shown that with the right belief, tactical awareness and fair amount of ability the big boys can be stopped.

The title surely will go to either Old Trafford or Highbury this season but if teams like Fulham and Wolves can upset the odds here and there it’ll make the run in, at both ends of the table, a helluva exciting one.

Jason Walker
26/01/2004

by : Dave Thrilling

The financial crisis that currently exists within the beautiful game makes it all the more remarkable that a Premiership team still trying to establish themselves in the top division have recently announced a profit on last years financial results. As Leeds United battle to stay in existence, Birmingham City directors continue to mould the midlands outfit into a club with ambitions to join the Premiership elite.

The Blues announced a record annual turnover of £36.5million that has doubled since last year, resulting in a profit after tax of £3.3million for the year ending August 31st 2003. The clubs first season in the Premiership after nearly two decades spent in the lower echelons of the football pyramid have allowed the board to benefit from television and other commercial income. In addition, the opportunity to see the likes of Dugarry against Manchester United as oppose to Adebola against Grimsby has unsurprisingly seen season tickets sales spiral.

Chairman David Sullivan was obviously delighted with the financial announcement but also highlighted the need for caution, stating, ''The board is well aware of the need to find the right balance between risk and reward and we will continue to manage the company profile accordingly.'' The directors have clearly given strong financial backing to Steve Bruce who was the most active manager in last years January transfer window purchasing several players to help confirm Premiership survival and then breaking the clubs transfer record to bring England International David Dunn to St.Andrews in the summer. However, the board are not prepared to follow the “Ridsdale strategy” of risking the clubs future and are under no illusions that transforming the club from Nationwide also-rans to UEFA Cup regulars is far from an overnight process.

After impressive early season form facilitated by eight clean sheets in ten games Birmingham currently lie comfortably in a mid-table position despite an inconsistent run of results in recent weeks. After surviving their first Premiership campaign with just a few games to spare, Blues have not dropped outside the top ten this term and while influential midfielder Robbie Savage recently urged further investment just to avoid another relegation battle, Bruce admitted that the hardest job was now approaching as he looks to take the club to the next level. Savage admitted, “It is up to the board to give Steve Bruce the money to go out and buy us the players for a place in Europe." The desire to persuade Finnish striker Mikael Forssell to sign a permanent contract together with reported transfer window bids for Martin Taylor, Danny Mills and most significantly Nicky Butt suggest Savage should have no fears over the club’s long-term ambitions.

Bruce had feared that a flurry of injuries would mean the need for a review of transfer policy he wants to adopt, stressing that “if the right ones are not available then I’ll wait until the summer because usually you’ve got a better chance of doing something than at this time of year”. Yet with key players Upson and Dugarry close to returning to first team action, a delve into the transfer market simply to retain squad size until the end of the season may not be required. Instead Bruce can concentrate on trying to attract the calibre of player that he needs to improve a team that has already been taken to the next level with his signings so far. Bruce has modelled his team on his own performances. He has quickly developed a squad brimming with spirit, desire and commitment. Players such as Clinton Morrison, Stephen Clemence and Jeff Kenna have all served the club well but there is a distinct lack of quality and depth to the squad if the club are to consistently challenge for European football.

The increase in merchandise and season tickets sales were perhaps expected rewards as a result of promotion from Division One, especially given Birmingham’s large fan base. However, the board have taken advantage of other money spinning opportunities. Only this weekend the club held a George Michael tribute night and any romantics in the second city may be interested in the upcoming Valentines function on offer. This may seem small fry but a 27% increase in corporate ventures proves the club once a laughing stock under Barry Fry is long forgotten. Sullivan, Karren Brady and the Gold brothers are innovative business people who are intent on making Steve Bruce the centre of the club’s long-term future despite frequent speculation that he is the natural successor to Alex Ferguson or Bobby Robson when they eventually retire.

With the exception of Comrade Abramovich’s bulging coffers and the global brand that is Manchester United, some of the traditional “big clubs” are struggling to attract some of top players on offer. Spurs are reliant on a new share scheme, Everton have been unable to capitalise on last season’s success while Birmingham’s local rivals Aston Villa face a player shortage in the summer. This year’s Premiership where 80% of the clubs are separated by just a few points and with so many facing significant financial constraints, Birmingham have the ideal opportunity to not only become established in the Premiership but perhaps a club that can become a force in Europe aswell. The set up is right, the ambition is there, and the finances are available. Only time will tell.

Dave Thrilling
26/01/2004

by : Tom Levitt

The word optimism was invented for men like Gerard Houllier. Any Liverpool fan left depressed by another failure to take maximum points need only tune into Houllier’s post-match bout of sanguinity. Such a red fan will then realise that they could and surely should have won the game. They can also take satisfaction in the knowledge that if they had won the game and several more then their club would be top of the premier league.

After Liverpool’s 1-0 win over Chelsea Houllier rolled out one of his favourite lines, “we’ve had a difficult week”, translated as look everyone we can even win in a tough week so can you now see how we would win the league if we only had easier weeks.

Continuing on this theme then he explained why the league table was lying and how his team were in the wrong position. He said: “We were without five players at Newcastle, imagine them without Robert, Shearer and Ameobi? With these injury problems, I think our league position is not bad and pretty well everyone will be back in January. After that I think we will be really in there fighting strong to improve our position and get the top third place, which is not out of reach.”

Talk about pushing forward a best-case scenario, did the guy not by chance notice that Chelsea in third place are thirteen points clear of Liverpool? Does he think Liverpool could make up five wins on Chelsea? What exactly does optimism translate into in French? A deranged form of denial?

In English the word means looking to the future and not dwelling on past mistakes. Yet incessantly Houllier is found pointing to the past, he cannot help himself it seems from making the few alterations he believes would then correctly reflect his team’s Premier League position.

The truth is that the past only reveals a team that has failed to show a top three consistency since the last months of the 2001/2 season, when they finished second.

Liverpool fans may be left with a feeling of dj-vu after listening to Houllier’s explanations after every other match but it’s not the return of the title-winning days. Sadly for them it is just another manager talking up his record and trying to re-write history instead of learning from it.
Tom Levitt
22/01/2004

by : Red Kitching

Ever since Leeds’ financial woes were brought to the attention of the football loving public, it has seen many people inside and outside the game draw parallels with what happened with Leicester City, probably the most high profile club to go into administration. Leeds are likely to go down that road in the future and only two saviours can save them, one on the pitch and one off it. They need to survive relegation at all costs. If they don’t it may be good-bye to Leeds Utd forever.

Let’s look at the events of Leicester to see what could happen in the near future:-

Leicester City had already gone down when their money troubles came to light. The recently completed Walkers Stadium (worth around £32m of the £50m debt the club had at the time of administration) the collapse of the ITV Digital deal and the cost of premiership wages in a division that could not support them cost Leicester dear. But all hope was not lost.

The Board of Directors at that time had agreed with the players and backroom staff that there would be a wage deferral of 25% and a complete bonus deferral until the end of that season. They also agreed with all but one of their creditors a repayment scheme that would mean Leicester would avoid going into administration, whilst ensuring that the creditors would be repaid in full in the fullness of time.

There was only one creditor who refused the repayment.

Eric Hall, agent of the recently sacked Dennis Wise, was furious that his client had been wrongly dismissed for breaking team-mate Callum Davidson’s cheek-bone. He was still owed money from the sale of Wise to Leicester and refused the creditor agreement. He decided to serve a winding up petition that would have led the club into bankruptcy and extinction. His reasoning for this I cannot comment on and my only hope is that it was not malicious.

This caused the directors to have to apply for creditor protection. Once this was done, administrators were appointed. The majority of the playing squad were made available on free transfers and even Muzzy Izzet was made available for transfer if the right offer came in. A large portion of the Non Playing staff were asked to leave immediately and the players even subsidised the wages of the kit cleaning staff to ensure they turned out in fresh shirts.

Over the next four months, Leicester lived day to day. There were times when the club came close to going out of business in this time. Fortunately, the Lineker Consortium managed to raise enough funding from local businessmen, former players like Emile Heskey and even the fans who weighed in with more than £100k in support of the club. The administrators then got agreement from the creditors for debt repayment and the new company was given the go ahead to come out of administration and it should have been plain sailing for Leicester City from then on.

It wasn’t.

Leicester were accused of cheating their way out of debt by every other club in the first division. There was talk of points docking and even relegation! As there was no law regarding football clubs in administration, nothing could be done, except the Football League took an unprecedented step of banning Leicester from signing any players on any terms before the end of the season. This was perceived to be punishment for any wrong-doing by the club.

So, what can Leeds expect if they go into administration? Certainly not any assistance from the authorities in the game. There is nothing in Premier League law that says that they are to be docked points and hopefully they will not suffer a deduction of points before the end of this season. Also, they will become fair game for comment from all of their opponents and virtually anyone with a voice on the game. Chairmen seeking to push themselves into the limelight (somewhat ironic given the publicity hungry former chairman that caused this whole mess) will say how Leeds should be penalised for not keeping their house in order.

I recommend developing a siege mentality in the dressing room to assist in keeping the club alive. Using the negative comments of others assisted Micky Adams in improving the results on the pitch, perhaps it will work for Leeds too.

My one hope is that Leeds will use the current situation to create a better, more frugal club in the future should they survive the dark times as Leicester have done.

Red Kitching
26/01/2004

by : Jason Walker

It’s getting to that time of year again. Yes, time for a review of those early season predictions we all made down the pub after a few jars and now that we realise that we were completely wrong we rework them (whilst sober) and claim it’s all part of some genius masterplan.

I’m an avid Arsenal fan, and so of course I plumped for the Gunners to wrestle the title back from our northern neighbours and for Spurs to go down. Now, even I didn’t think Spurs would really be contenders for the drop pre season, I only predicted they’d drop a division because I’m a Gooner and I hate them. Yet halfway through the season and despite a mini revival of late I can proudly claim to have always known Spurs would down there fighting come the new year.

As for Arsenal winning the title, well there’s a great chance as the not so strapped for cash Chelsea millionaires begin to falter alarmingly and Man United show signs of defensive weaknesses. However although Arsenal are not entirely a one man team I shudder to imagine the consequences if Thierry Henry were to be injured long term and that’s why I think Arsene Wenger must act quick and land either Defoe, Angel or Alan Smith in the current transfer window to boost a weak attack if you look beyond the mercurial Henry.

I expected Newcastle to guarantee themselves the fourth Champions League spot although now I’m not so sure, Liverpool look to be progressing gradually whilst Villa have picked up in recent weeks. Charlton and Fulham will not finish in the top five however and that’s purely down to the fact that you can’t sell your best players to the big boys your trying to catch up. Whilst Scott Parker is still a Charlton player the Louis Saha transfer saga which has ended with the Frenchman eventually landing his dream move to United makes you wonder for just how long the young England starlet will be at the Valley for.

For relegation, alongside Spurs I had Wolves and Leeds on my list and although I feel Leicester’s alarmingly inept defending and amazing inability to play decent football will see them replace Spurs in eighteenth spot I’m happy with my other two predictions. Despite an historic victory over Manchester United recently Wolves do not possess the quality to stay up and as for Leeds it is just one crisis after another which looks almost certain to end in the club dropping out of the top flight and possibly out of existence.

Jason Walker
19/01/2004

by : Steven Coventry

Apparently Charlton are unhappy with Chelsea’s continuing pursuit of their prize asset, England midfielder Scott Parker. According to the Charlton Chairman, Martin Simons, Chelsea (and in particular their billionaire owner) should ‘get lost’ and stop bullying smaller clubs into selling their best players. But what exactly have Chelsea done wrong?

Charlton have complained that the publicity has unsettled Parker. But who was it that made Chelsea’s approach public? Charlton. What have Chelsea said about this in public? Nothing. Chelsea have made a legitimate bid for the player within the laws of the game and, unlike other clubs, they haven’t publicly tried to unsettle the player. Nor have their been pictures of Parker being smuggled from Chelsea’s training ground or holding clandestine meetings with senior Chelsea management. I’m not nave enough to think that there has been no contact between Chelsea and Parker’s representatives, but the club have been less naked in their pursuit than, say, Manchester United have been over Saha and Robben.

Charlton might have a legitimate case if they had stated that the player was not for sale at any price, but having rejected Chelsea’s second bid because they were unhappy that the fee was linked to appearances, Charlton have sent out the clear signal that this is about extracting the maximum price possible.

Until recently, living in London, I had honestly never met anyone who supported Charlton. It became a running joke – “does ANYONE support Charlton?” - but I was wrong. No one can patronise Charlton these days. They are a well-run, well-supported, medium-size Premiership club with realistic hopes of European football. They are at least as ‘big’ a club today as Tottenham, and, unlike their North London rivals, they have feasible plans to move up to the next level, rather than living on past glories and a belief that they have a divine right to be a ‘big club’. Charlton simply can’t claim to be making a stand for the ‘small clubs’

They also have no right to moan about the affect that Abramovich’s billions has had on the game. West Ham fans might not like it, but do you think that the directors at the club are cursing Chelsea for putting £12 million into their kitty over the summer? And hold on, aren’t Charlton themselves benefiting from the Abramovich revolution in the shape of on-loan Carlton Cole?

So it’s time for Charlton to stop playing the role of the downtrodden small-club. Alan Curbishley is clearly a talented manager. But just as another talented young manager before him – David O’Leary – played the, “they’re only a team of young lads, you shouldn’t expect too much” card ad nauseam at Leeds, so it’s time that Curbishley gave it a rest about ‘little old’ Charlton.

The truth is that Charlton know that Parker will leave (although they may very well hang on to him until the summer), and they are holding out for the best price possible, while demonstrating to their fans that they have done everything possible to hold onto the player. Fine. It’s a legitimate tactic. But it’s time that they stopped playing the victim and ditched the mock moral outrage.

Steven COventry
22/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

The appointment of Lawrie Sanchez as Northern Ireland manager came as something of a surprise to many observers in the game. Hot favourite for the post had been Dunfermline assistant manager Jimmy Nicholl, but after much deliberating since the defection of Sammy McIlroy to Stockport County, it was former Crazy Gang member Sanchez who got the nod.

Rumours abound that Nicholl could not agree personal terms for the position. Whether this is another way of saying that he wanted too much money is unclear, but it is easy to see why any prospective candidate for this thankless task might want a hefty financial incentive. Northern Ireland are now among the poorer relations in world football, having failed to qualify for a major tournament since the 1986 World Cup in Mexico. They haven't even come close to success in recent qualifying campaigns, and all of this against the backdrop of the relative success of the Republic of Ireland team over the last 15 years.

Now, it falls upon former Wycombe Wanderers manager Sanchez to revitalise Northern Irish football. The man with the Spanish sounding surname will be assisted in his new job by Sky Sports Spanish football guru Gerry Armstrong. It is hoped that his knowledge of the European game will prove invaluable to Sanchez, who signs a two-year contract. However, this is not the first time that Armstrong's expertise has been called upon by the Northern Irish FA. The former Watford and Real Mallorca man was assistant to Bryan Hamilton between 1994 and 1998. Between them, they failed to pull up too many trees but the problems in Northern Irish football run deeper than meets the eye. Though it is an honour to be given an international managerial position, this is not a good time to become manager of Northern Ireland.

It is well documented that Northern Ireland have failed to find the net in a very, very long time. Their failure to trouble the scorers is international football's longest running-joke. The reasons for this shortfall of goal-power are easy to see. Most of the modern day Northern Ireland squad is made up of players from lower reaches of the English Nationwide League. Asking players to step up from that level to international level is an unrealistic objective, and work needs to be done at grass roots to develop players who can progress to a higher level of football domestically.

Over the years Northern Ireland have been able to call on stars like Best, Jennings, Whiteside and O'Neill. It used to be the dream of many a Northern Irish boy to make the journey across the Irish Sea to one of England's big hitters. That dream may still exist, but with the influx of more and more foreign talent into the English Premiership, it is becoming increasingly unlikely. The argument that the cream will always rise to the top is becoming a little tired. We now seem to have reached a point when even the youth teams of the great and the good are filled with budding young Eurostars, so what chance for the young talent of Northern Ireland?

Scottish football now seems to be making a slight recovery from a similar problem, with Darren Fletcher of Manchester United and James McFadden of Everton particularly prominent in the Premiership this season. Northern Ireland, and Sanchez, must follow their lead if they are to have any hope of regaining the respectability of Northern Irish teams of old. Their qualification group for the 2006 World Cup in Germany should offer some much needed limelight for the game in Northern Ireland, containing as it does an array of British rivals with the presence of both England and Wales. Games against these two are bound to be ultra-competetive, but at the moment for all their hard work and endeavour you cannot see Northern Ireland getting much change out of a highly regarded England and a resurgent Wales. It will be Sanchez's task to ensure that respectability is gained, given that qualification from a group that also contains Austria and Poland seems a distant dream.

Sanchez starts his reign with a friendly against Norway at Windsor Park on February 18 before taking his team on a three game tour of the Carribbean. By the start of the next domestic season the serious stuff will be on the horizon. It is difficult to see how Sanchez can turn the situation around by then. The appointment of a man recently sacked by an English second division side is indicative of the lack of options available to Northern Ireland at present. It is interesting to note that the Northern Irish manager currently enjoying the most success at club level, Martin O'Neill, never had his name mentioned in connection with the job. It is a sign of the times for Northern Ireland that managing Celtic is an infinitely more prestigious post.

I would guess that a few more managers will come in and out of the Northern Ireland hot-seat before the national team can begin to truly recover from its present slumber. Sanchez, capped three times by Northern Ireland as a player, will offer pride, passion and professionalism. However, football is a results based business and it is difficult to see how he can achieve the results that will allow him a long tenure in the job. Despite this, he does at least have an opportunity to lay the foundations for the recovery of the national team. Though he may not be in the job when it comes to fruition, he may yet play an important part in restoring the pride in Northern Irish football in years to come.

Stephen Orford
22/01/2004

by : Jonny Hall

Checking my e-mail inbox this morning, I sifted through the junk mail until my eyes fixed on one. From: Jack Ferguson, Subject: Uncle Jonny. It read…

“Uncle Jonny,

Thought you’d be the ideal person to get in touch with as I’m preparing to return to playing football.

I know I’ve not played since I was fifteen, but the chance to sign up for ‘Eastway Rovers FC’ in the East Cheam Sunday League Division Six was too good an opportunity to miss. Decent set-up, convenient training time, a few familiar faces, all the old banter awaits. And I was wondering if you could offer some advice on how I should go about it, having ‘been there, done that’ kind of thing.

As we’ve not been in touch for a while, I’ll put you in the picture by explaining where I’m at right now. I stopped playing football competitively when I was fifteen – that’s four years of withdrawal symptoms. I feel like Tom Hanks on his deserted island in Castaway. Well, not quite that bad, but I have felt alienated from football. The past four years have been a busy time in my life, a time when football wasn’t the only thing on my mind. So I suppose circumstances and times change, but I’ll not go into all that unless you want to hear it?

I’m proud of where I am at the minute and there’s only one thing missing I think – and that’s playing football again. Just doing some exercise would be a good start because I do very little and it’s about time I got off my backside. To be honest, I just need to get fit, get sharp, get that dedication back. Is it simply a matter of being patient? I have all the confidence in the world that once I get a feel for the ball again I’ll still have ‘the touch’. I’ve still got the know-how ‘up there’. Though, having a quick brain is one thing but quick feet…

I have one or two things in mind on how I can get fit but I want to take your advice on board before I do anything. Any advice you have, Jonny, would be greatly appreciated.

Hope the weather’s a little warmer out there,
Will catch you on the MSN messenger soon,

Bye for now,

Jack.”

God bless the Internet. A reply is ‘in the post’ tomorrow, Jack…

--

Jonny Hall
21/01/2004

by : Antony Melvin

It is reported that Tottenham have bid five million pounds, coincidentally the amount rumoured to be needed to keep Leeds going, for the services of Paul Robinson and James Milner. That Leeds have rejected this offer may just be evidence that they are driving a harder bargain than Tottenham anticipated. If Spurs come back with an improved offer it may just be that common sense will prevail. It has to be said that offering five million pounds for two young players of great talent like Robinson and Milner is a classic example of another Premiership club trying to take advantage of another's financial problems. While Tottenham have a responsibilty to get the best deal possible, Leeds' financial position must not lead them into shipping out players on the cheap as they did with Harry Kewell.

The board are making one or two attempts to release players. Today it was announced that Roque Junior will be having his contract terminated by the club. The Brazillian who is routinely referred to as a 'World Cup winner', has showed nothing of his pedigree during his short spell with Leeds United and it is perhaps wise that the two part company. However, two more players have refused to sign termination agreements despite being told that they are no longer required at Elland Road. Zoumana Camara and Didier Domi seem determined to dig their heels in, for reasons best known to themselves. All of which does nothing to help Leeds' cause, making a high profile sale an increasing possibility.

And all of this because they chased the dream of challenging Manchester United and Arsenal's Premiership duopoly. Sometimes boldness is not rewarded as we would like.

By Stephen Orford
22/01/2004The secret diary of the man who gets things done.

MONDAY

Arsenal are still pleading poverty and that they aren’t interested in players. So a little mischief-making is in order. Jermain Defoe is a £12m target (Mirror) – as if anyone would pay that much for little lad with anger management issues. Tried to attract interest in Henrik Larsson by reprinting last Mondays he’s-off-to-Barca story (Sun). No, Newcastle, no.

Desperate call from Carl Cort, who wasn’t impressed with an offer to star in a sequel to the ‘Hollow Man’ film. In a bid to entice Middlesbrough we linked Cort to Portsmouth on loan for the rest of the season (Mirror). If we could get Middlesbrough interested this would tie in well with our ongoing negotiations for big Emile at Anfield. As a sweetener we eased the pressure on Houllier by suggesting that O’Neill was out of the picture following a recent outburst (Sun). Saha

TUESDAY
Attempted to play all ends against the middle in the Leeds debacle, with the players fighting a wage cut (Sun), backing a wage cut (Mirror) and being sold (Mail). No real purpose here, just a ‘for laughs’ exercise. Unable to stop Cort going to Wolves, how many strikers are left that might interest ‘Boro – does anyone know where Ade Akinbiyi lives?

Operation upset Man Utd entered week two with a reprint of a Cubic Explosion takeover bid (Mirror). Fergies nose was purple at the prospect of suing a major shareholder, we think his nose colour will disappear off the visible spectrum if they turn out to be his bosses. Opened book – Ultra Violet now clear favourite by the end of the season.

WEDNESDAY
As the transfer window approaches its final week, the agitator office staff are working all hours to contrive the right results for our clients. And in order to mask Arsenal’s real intentions we chucked a couple of bones to the baying press hyenas. But is anyone really taken in speculation surrounding Jose Reyes joining Arsenal for £20m (Mail) or Patrick Kluivert joining in the summer (Star).

Tried to get some movement at Chelsea, every agents favourite club, by suggesting that Wayne Bridge was about to be replaced (Express) or that Cudicini was off to Italy (Sun). After all its one out and three in at the Bridge these days. And in a surprise move Liverpool are pondering a bid for Taribo West (Sun), which is a surprise to everyone who wasn’t aware of his contract negotiations.

THURSDAY
Birmingham are muddying the waters of Nicky Butt’s move to Spurs by cavalierly bidding £5m cash money for him (Mirror/Independent)! Tried to demonstrate what £5m can get you to muddy the waters. The £15m rights issue at Spurs means they are perfect foils, so Spurs want to spend £5m on Paul Robinson and Eirik Bakke (Sun) or £5m on Robinson and James Milnor (Guardian), or improve on the £5m bid for Andy Reid and Michael Dawson (Star). Leeds also want to sell Smith for £5m (Telegraph).

Wolves have offered £2m for Ricardo Fuller (Independent) due to his prolific Nationwide goalscoring record, a record he can therefore continue next season. Meanwhile desperately trying to drum up interest in Larsson by suggesting talks at Newcastle (Guardian), the third link in a week in an attempt to stop him retiring.

FRIDAY
After another chat to Michael Owen we let a ‘we will wait until after Euro 2004 before discussing a new contract’ story leak (Mirror), a nice counterpoint to GH’s assertion that contract negotiations will start soon (BBC). Nicky Butt might stay at Man Utd (Independent) – come and get me plee if ever we’ve planted one.

The Leeds speculation fire sale is in full flow with bids a-go-go. Newcastle to buy Smith and loan him back (Sun) and Manchester United to get Milnor (Telegraph/Star). Struck back with a Machiavellian move for Newcastle by suggesting they sign Gudjohnsen for £5m (Express), to panic Leeds into selling Smith. Leeds response, that they are persuading former players and managers to defer payments (Express), was unlikely to persuade anyone.

Weekend
L.A., party.

Antony Melvin was routing through the bins of the rich and powerful.

by : Red Kitching

So, Louis Saha has got his move. Fulham have got their money and Manchester United have got their man. But is he the right man? And at £12m is it a good investment?

Sir Alex Ferguson has been struggling this year with his purchases. The spectre of David Beckham, dressed in white and playing out of his skin in Spain, looms large over Kleberson, Djemba-Djemba and David Bellion, who have all struggled this year (the two former somehow ahead of Nicky Butt). Cristiano Ronaldo is only one for the future – if he cuts down on the step overs he might be a great player – but he has to be given the time his age requires to mature into a star of the world game. Only goalkeeper Tim Howard has shown the type of form and consistency you would associate with defending champions. And now there has been the dogged pursuit and purchase of Louis Saha to add to these misfiring outfield players.

No one would dispute the fact that Fergie needed to buy another striker to go with Ruud Van Nistelrooy and he has been linked to virtually every striker outside the big 5 in his pursuit. Mark Viduka, Alan Smith and Jermain Defoe were the strongest links to Old Trafford and all have done good work in the Premiership in recent times, but they have chosen a young Frenchman in London who is having the season of his life.

Saha has shown that he is capable of scoring goals at the highest level this year too (and on occasion in the previous two seasons), but he has only shown any consistency this (half) season. The past two seasons he has been played up front with a partner, either Steve Marlet or Barry Hayles, and he wasn’t in the upper echelons of the premium marksmen in the top division. This season has seen him score regularly whilst playing as a lone striker with the excellent Steed Malbranque as the chief string-puller behind him. £12m seems steep for a player who has done the business for half a season. Especially considering that makes him allegedly worth 2.5 times Nicky Butt! He may only be 23, but that is a heck of a gamble who is expected to produce the goods immediately.

What will Fergie do with the Frenchman? He has already proved that he works better as a lone striker, so will he try to pair him with the similar Van Nistelrooy? It seems an odd buy as you would guess that perhaps Saha will only play when Van Nistelrooy is out injured. And for a reserve, £12m seems excessive.

Given the choice, I would have paid Leeds the money on the link man cum striker Mark Viduka. He has more than a hint of Cantona about his ability and would be able to fit into the Manchester Utd formula very well. Then again, I write about football and Fergie is paid to manage a football club, so what do I know? Only time will tell.

Red Kitching
20/01/2004

by : Jason Walker

As four times European Cup winners Liverpool drift around the mid table spot and Champions League semi - finalists of a few years ago Leeds contemplate relegation and possibly bankruptcy you only have to look at poor Nottingham Forest to see how it can all go horribly wrong, and quickly too…

13 years ago Nottingham Forest were beaten 2-1 in the FA Cup final by Spurs. It was the day that effectively ruined Gazza’s career with that infamous challenge on Gary Charles, but how many people present that day would have thought that just over a decade later Forest would be fighting for survival in the first division?

Play-off semi-finalists last season Nottingham Forest had done relatively well given the dire financial position of the club, however how on earth did that promotion pushing side suddenly turn into a relegation fighting one?

When Forest were relegated from the Premiership, in its debut season eleven years ago, it signalled the end of an era. A sad, desperate Brian Clough saw his twenty-something, trophy laden year reign tarnished by relegation, in stepped former player Frank Clark, Roy Keane moved to Manchester United, whilst the likes of Stan Collymore and Kevin Campbell arrived. Forest immediately returned to the Premiership, yet just three later the club spiralled into uncontrollable debt and slid back to division one, again they returned but again they fell back and that’s where they’ve stayed since.

Comparison’s can be made with both Leeds and Liverpool, Leeds are in uncontrollable debt and near certainties for a once unthinkable drop to the first division, whereas Liverpool are in a slow decline, fourteen years without a league title and even unable to assure a European place nowadays, things surely have to change. Liverpool fans and players and managers alike can no longer think they have a divine right to be champions or a regular European side. They, like everyone else must fight for that right.

For Leeds it is too late, they will play division one footie next season, of that I’m sure. As for Liverpool they have to watch, Houiller is full of excuses and needs to leave. Yet Liverpool have to be smart with their replacement, surely it has to be Martin O’Neill, a European Cup winner under Cloughie at Forest who joins or they could one day end up like the once great, but now tragic Nottingham Forest.

Jason Walker
19/01/2004

by : Red Kitching

Red Kitching thinks that the Liverpool versus Newcastle United tie could end a managerial career.

You can just imagine how the 4th Round F.A. Cup draw was anticipated in the manager’s offices at Anfield and St. James’ Park. Apart from the race for fourth place in the Premiership (!), this represents a realistic opportunity of silverware for the success-starved masses in the red of Liverpool and the Black and White of Newcastle.

Gerard Houllier’s problems this season have been there for all to see: too inconsistent, too brittle at the back and not enough up front. The major money paid out for the ‘stars’ of summer 2002 have not brought the expected push from 2nd in 2001 to champions in the following seasons. Instead they have gone into reverse and this has deservedly brought criticism to Monsieur Houllier’s door. This season has seen them struggling to even keep pace with 4th position and it is in no way guaranteed that they will finish in that elusive 4th Champions League spot. The usually silent Liverpool chairman has been quoted as saying that a minimum of Champions League football is required, which means that Gerard Houllier has the weight of the world on his shoulders. ‘How a good F.A. Cup run could boost morale and help us get something out of a season that has so far been disappointing to say the least’ Gerard must have thought as the balls started being chosen.

Up in the North East, Sir Bobby Robson has had his own problems this year. A poor start to the campaign put an end to any hopes of building on last year’s 3rd place in the league, despite Alan Shearer continuing to bang in goals like the machine he quite obviously is and Laurent Robert playing out of his skin. Add to this a calamitous exit from the final Champions League qualifier and an early end to their Carling Cup campaign and it has been underachievement all the way. Like Liverpool, the chairman has criticised the team recently as well, so it is becoming a make or break year for Sir Bob too. ‘How a good F.A. Cup run could boost morale and help us get something out of a season that has so far been disappointing to say the least’, Sir Bob must have thought as the balls started being chosen.

Then, after a few interesting ties came out…

‘Liverpool…. Will play… Newcastle’.

There you have it. The law of Sod comes into effect and the two teams that need a cup run desperately to turn their season’s into a success are drawn together in almost a winner takes all scenario. A victory over the closest rivals for the final Champions League spot could give a vital edge to the successful team and a chance to push on in the second half of the season.

An interesting side-plot is that this game could have some bearing on the summer destination of a certain Irish football manager in Glasgow. Martin O’Neill has been strongly linked with the position at Liverpool but there have also been mutterings in the press that he could replace Sir Bob should targets not be met. The winner may take all, but the loser could end up with the manager du jour.

Who will win though?

Although they have home advantage and Michael Owen returning to the side, I think that Newcastle will find the impetus they need for a good second half to the season and will run out winners in a tight game.

I would imagine the mobiles of Celtic’s major shareholder and chairman, Dermot Desmond and Brian Quinn respectively, will be switched off right after the game no matter who wins.

by : Stephen Orford

If they are to avoid going into administration the board, management and players of Leeds United face some very difficult decisions this week.

Having temporarily managed to stave off this threat the Elland Road club were given an additional seven days to find the money needed to keep them in business for the rest of the season. In all likelihood, if the money is not raised by this coming Monday (January 26) then Leeds United will become the first Premiership club to be placed into the hands of administrators. The figure required to rescue the club from this fate is said to be around five million pounds, but it seems that finding the best way to raise this cash is causing yet more friction at the stricken club.

Earlier in the week the Leeds United players were asked what they thought of the idea of deferring a percentage of their wages until the end of the season. At first the response seemed positive as it emerged that the players had agreed to this in principle. However, it was later reported that the players were only prepared to do this as a last resort, and that it would only happen at the end of the month if at all. With the wolf at the door it seemed that the end of the month would be too late. Leading the players on their stance, and possibly leadiing the famous old club into financial meltdown in the process was PFA Chairman Gordon Taylor. Taylor explained that the players had every right to expect their contracts to be paid in full when they signed them, and that a deferral of wages should not be something that the players should feel obliged to undertake.

This is a typical and understandable view for any union representative to take. However, when it is applied to footballers it becomes overly simplistic. These are men who are paid not in hundreds of pounds, like the mere mortals among us, but in tens of thousands of pounds per week. Is it really asking too much for them to do without that extra Ferrari so that one of English football's biggest clubs can survive for a while longer? After all, wasn't it the players who contributed to the current plight of Leeds United? Although several of their colleagues were sold off around them, it is the players whose performances have led to the very real threat of relegation from the Premiership, which in turn causes major financial difficulties.

Today (Thursday January 22) the players have issued another statement insisting that no decision has yet been taken as to whether or not any wage deferral will be accepted. This despite the earlier reports that they were not prepared to defer wages until at least the end of the month. Regular readers of my work will be wary of my cynicism, but I would suggest that this statement is a response to public opinion. It seems that the Leeds United players have become aware that the public expects them to do the decent thing, given the absurd amounts of money that they earn.

Unhelpfully adding to the debate is Sunderland Football Club. Chairman Bob Murray and manager Mick McCarthy have both spoken today of the fact that the Sunderland players recently agreed to a 25% wage deferral to save their club. All of which adds yet more pressure on the Leeds players to follow suit as time runs out for the club. Quite whether the Leeds situation is any business of those at Sunderland is questionable, but they have certainly set an interesting precedent for Leeds to follow.

It is not only the players who are causing problems for Leeds United with their stubborn behaviour. The board are steadfastly refusing to sell any more of their players. Wary of past criticism during the now infamous Elland Road fire sales over the last eighteen months, the board are adamant that the likes of Robinson, Viduka and Smith will not be sold to ease the financial crisis at the club. Aswell as fears of a backlash from fans, the board must also have very real fears that more sales will only rubber-stamp Leeds' relegation from the Premiership into the Nationwide League. This would have devastating financial consequences for the club regardless of whether they enter the Nationwide League in administration or not. However, is it not possible that this current Leeds United team will suffer relegation whether or not more players are sold in the current window? Relegation, whether Leeds United's fans, players and board like it or not is a distinct possibility. Surely it would be wiser to enter the Nationwide League on something like a secure financial footing. Relegation would lead to the exits of these players in any case as it has with many of the star players formerly with West Ham United, and it may just be time for the board to bite the bullet.

by : David Hulott

While Fulham may protest at the manner in which Louis Saha was prised away from the club, I can't help but think there must be a fair amount of sniggering in the Cottagers' boardroom at having secured a reported £12 million for a six-month golden spell of form.

Even allowing for United’s long apparent need for a striker to support/back-up Ruud van Nistelrooy, Saha looks a highly questionable, not to mention expensive, addition to the roster. The main basis for his signing seems to largely revolve around him being available for Champions League action, as otherwise it would surely have made far more sense to go for someone of genuine quality, like Mateja Kezman or Adriano?

Saha isn’t the first dodgy signing at Old Trafford in recent times either. Many seem to regard Cristiano Ronaldo as a real throwback to the wing wizards of yesteryear. Unfortunately, the wing wizard in question is Charles “Charlie” Charles from the classic Harry Enfield sketch. The fact that Sir Alex Ferguson paid in excess of £12 million for a one-trick pony beggars belief! His signing increasingly resembles a panic measure after missing out on Ronaldinho.

Indeed, it does appear that having failed to sign the Brazilian in the summer, Ferguson decided to embark on a major overhaul of his entire squad as a consequence. Whilst it's obviously a sensible policy to try and ensure the squad doesn’t grow stale, it does seem that the majority of the new recruits over the past six months or so (with the notable exception of the excellent Tim Howard) lack the quality that one has come to expect from the Red Devils – well, either that or David Bellion has some talents that are remarkably well hidden.

With speculation rife that racing tycoons John Magnier and JP McManus could be on the verge of launching a takeover at Old Trafford, Ferguson's days could be numbered. The legal wrangle between Ferguson and Magnier over ownership rights of Rock of Gibraltar seem particularly bitter and it would appear unlikely in the extreme that two such stubborn and bloody-minded figures would ever be able to work together.

With that in mind, and with some of the recent recruits looking so mediocre, it's beginning to look as if Fergie's developed a form of footballing Munchausen's Syndrome by proxy. Rather than let someone inherit the squad that he has so lovingly built over the years, it’s as if he has made a conscious decision to rip the heart out of it and leave a set of sub-standard players for the next incumbent.

No, that could never happen….could it?

David Hulott
21/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

When you have been languishing around the lower reaches of the football pyramid for as long as you can remember, a chance to mix it with the big boys in the FA Cup is just about as good as it gets. Fans of Northampton Town and Scarborough must be wringing their hands in anticipation of their clubs' fourth round ties against Manchester United and Chelsea respectively.

When your team is more used to taking on the likes of York City and Burton Albion, it is not often you get the opportunity to welcome Ruud Van Nistelrooy or Hernan Crespo to your humble surroundings, but how much would you reasonably expect to pay for the privelege of seeing these great stars in action? Both Northampton Town and Scarborough have placed significant increases on ticket prices for these dream ties in an effort to bring in some much needed funds to their club coffers. The question is, is this the right thing to do? Should loyal fans be expected to dig deep into their pockets just because footballing royalty is coming to town?

In a word, maybe. It is reported that Northampton Town are to charge their fans 35 pounds for entrance into their FA Cup tie. A bumper crowd is still expected, and with the extra revenue from television rights the club is set to make a pretty penny from the whole shebang, regardless of how much they charge fans to get in to the ground on the day. However, it must be remembered that it is unlikely that the Cobblers will enjoy a game of this magnitude for a very long time to come. By paying the extra money for a one-off tie, fans of both Northampton and Scarborough will be helping to raise funds for their clubs, hopefully ensuring a more secure future.

The last time Northampton Town met Manchester United, George Best waltzed around Cobblers defenders as if they were training cones on his way to a remarkable six goals in an 8-2 United win. Surely any fan worth their salt would pay 35 pounds for the right to say that they were there on the day that one of the world's best ever players put on a veritable dribbling clinic. Though a repeat of Best's masterclass that day is highly unlikely, the present Manchester United side still possesses enough quality to ensure a rare treat for Northampton Town fans. If the stars don't perform then perhaps town fans can start dreaming of an upset. If it is worth 35 pounds to witness the brilliance of Van Nistelrooy, Scholes and company, it is impossible to put a price on actually being there on the day the little guys brought the mighty giants crashing down to earth.

Scarborough have decided on a more modest price rise for the visit of Chelsea. Fans of the Conference side can expect to pay 10 pounds more than they would do for any other fixture at the McCain Stadium after their thrilling 1-0 win over Southend United in round three. If an upset between Northampton Town and Manchester United is unlikely, then words fail me in my attempts to describe the probability of Scarborough pulling off what would be the shock of all shocks against the richest team on the block at the moment. Still, while the dream is alive the fans will flock to witness it.

Some may see this price hiking policy as exploitation. Who wants to pay well over the odds to watch their teams probable annhialation? I understand their argument that their loyalty should be rewarded but these really are exceptional circumstances. Besides, it's the word "probable" which forces the hand of every regular fan of Northampton Town and Scarborough.

You never know in football. You just never know.

Stephen Orford
16/01/2004

Manchester United subsequently offered to subsidise their fans by £10 per ticket.

by : Antony Melvin

Last Christmas it seemed clear to many observers, including this one, that the Manchester United machine was in danger of collapse. Drifting in the title race and never better that well backed outsiders in the Champions League United looked to have fallen a long way from the flamboyant 1999 team that terrorised Juventus in Turin and turned almost definite defeats into victories in a series of epic encounters against Munich and Arsenal. That team was gone and the replacement team was simply not as good.

To put it in context: who would have bet money on United beating Arsenal in any competition after last Christmas? In 1999 they went into injury time in the FA Cup with ten-men after Keane was sent-off, Schmeichel made a penalty save from Bergkamp and they went on to win the tournament after that goal from Ryan Giggs. A year ago Manchester United were a laughable distance from those heights.

So come the summer, and despite a lucky title win on the back of a desperately tired Arsenal team doing a passable impression of Devon Loch in the finishing straight, things needed changing. In particular the largely home-grown midfield needed refreshing. Ferguson had been experimenting with a 4-2-3-1 and had some notable successes with it, for example, beating Arsenal 2-0 with Veron and Phil Neville as the ‘2’. The midfield was at the end of last season was getting too old, with an average age of 28/29 and no youngsters. Keane 31, Giggs 29, Scholes 28, Beckham 28, Butt 28, Veron 27, Phil Neville 26 and Quinton Fortune 26 were all at or near their peak years but were being over-run when faced with athletic younger midfields.

These were players groomed for Champions League games where quality is more important than athleticism. The more hectic nature of the Premiership meant that this needed addressing. So in came Ronaldo 19, Kleberson 24, Djemba-Djemba 22, Bellion 21 and there was promotion for Fletcher 19 from the reserves. Out went the big names of Beckham and Veron. When you make such a wholesale set of changes which include selling international superstars for largely unproven younger players you are unlikely to challenge too strongly for honours. Most commentators would agree that a midfield that is stripped of Beckham and Veron is weakened whoever is brought in to replace them.

But the new United players have done well. Winning a Champions League group with 5 wins from 6, topping the league at Christmas and easing past Aston Villa in the cup means that there is far more optimism about United this January than last. Coupled with an excellent goalkeeping recruit in Tim Howard

Neither Fletcher nor Ronaldo are as good this season as Beckham is, but they have 10-15 seasons ahead of them whereas Beckham is unlikely to extend his career for more than 3 more seasons after this one. Kleberson seems a sounder bet than Veron for the Premiership and if either Bellion or Djemba-Djemba come good it will be a bonus.

As the average age of the midfield has dropped back towards 25 the team has become more athletic, more direct and usually more effective. Ferguson’s genius, like Wenger at Arsenal, is that he can build teams where the constituent parts do not appear to be special but as a combination they exude synergy and become more than the sum of their parts. Look at the first choice sides that Liverpool and Newcastle can put out and compare them to Arsenal and Manchester United and there is nothing in it. Owen, Shearer, Henry or van Nistelrooy? Kewell, Dyer, Pires or Giggs? Gerard, Speed, Keane or Vieira? Kirkland, Given, Howard or Lehman? Hyypia, Woodgate, Ferdinand or Campbell? And on it goes.

The best teams are just that; teams. And sometimes the big egos need to leave clubs to allow teams to grow. So Arsenal said adios to Petit and Overmars and were successful in the same way that United did to Beckham and Veron. If the replacements aren’t as good that’s fine as long as the team is improved.

This new team will probably run out of steam this season and end up empty-handed – but it is still better than the team of a year ago, and has room to improve. Surely that is proof positive that Ferguson has embarked on building his third great team that will probably peak in 2005/6. These are not the actions of a manager who has lost the plot.

Antony Melvin
21/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

And so it appears to have ended in the only way that it could have done. Louis Saha's on-off transfer from Fulham to Manchester United finally looks set to go through at some point this week, with a fee of around 12 million pounds thought to be the French striker's price. However, despite the obvious spending power of the Champions, the proposed deal has still dragged on, turning into a saga that even George Lucas might lose patience with.

As anybody in football, or indeed anybody who follows football will know, ultimately everybody has their price. When Manchester United first declared their interest in the former Metz and Newcastle man Chris Coleman stood defiantly against the idea of letting his man go. He told everybody who was prepared to listen that Saha would definitely not be leaving the West London club in this January's transfer window. Coleman explained that this wasn't the right time to allow Saha to join the Old Trafford club, and for a moment there it looked as if a man in charge of a relative minnow was going to be able to stand up to the big boys for once.

Saha's reaction to Coleman's stance probably took the Premiership's youngest manager a little by surprise. The man who has netted so regularly for Fulham this season was incandescent with rage at Coleman and Fulham's decision not to allow him to speak to United, who at the time were offering only 8 million pounds for the striker's services. Saha instantly alienated himself to most if not all of the Fulham fans by declaring that he was "disgusted" by the club's insistence on keeping him, announcing in the process that it was his "dream" to play for Manchester United.

That dream now looks set to come true later this week, but the reasons for the change in attitude from Coleman and the Fulham board are as yet unclear. The improved bid might have helped temper their disappointment at losing Saha. Added to this, it must have been increasingly obvious to Coleman that he had lost the support of the player, and was unlikely to get the maximum effort from him in the future. After Saha's comments at the beginning of the transfer saga it would only have taken one or two bad games for the fans to start screaming for his head, and so a move for what is a reasonably high fee seems now to suit all parties.

What is important now for Fulham is how they re-invest the Saha money. His departure has left something of a chasm in their strike force. If Coleman needs extra incentives to dip into the transfer market to replace Saha, then he need only think of the propsect of another farcical mask-wearing celebration from Facunda Sava to persuade him to splash the cash. Alongside Sava, Coleman only has the experienced but hardly blessed Barry Hayles, or the inconsistent Luis Boa Morte to turn to for some much needed goal-power. Fulham's bid for a European place has been coming off the rails a little in the midst of the unsettling Saha affair, and Coleman needs to get his side back on track quickly. If he fails to do so, anger at the sale of Saha will merely intensify, and the former Welsh international could have a mutiny on his hands.

The sale of Saha, while it has serious implications for Fulham Football Club, also has wider implications for football as a whole. In the row over Saha Coleman accused Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson of trying to bully him into parting with his star man, and will now probably feel even more strongly that he and his club have been unfairly manhandled by a larger Premiership predator. This is not a problem that is exclusive to Manchester United, although a number of their recent transfer deals are under scrutiny at present, but is more symptomatic of how the game has changed since the Murdoch money came rolling in. The clubs at the top usually get their man, despite the resistence of their smaller rivals when it comes to transfer deals. Only when a player himself doesn't fancy the prospect do you ever see either United, Arsenal or the now manically rich Chelsea lose out on an intended transfer target. Alan Shearer's loyalty to his home town club Newcastle is one of the last fading remnants of player loyalty in an ever-changing football world.

Scott Parker looks set to follow Saha out of the small pond and into the ocean, with Chelsea his likely destination. Charlton manager Alan Curbishley has already stated that 15 million pounds would not be enough to persuade him to let the midfielder leave the Valley. However, he has been a little more cautious than Coleman in never stating that there would be no possibility of Parker making a sharp exit. Though Coleman's act of defiance was done for all the right reasons it showed a naivety that is understandable from a young manager. It is admirable to want to hold on to a star player, but sometimes you have to know when you are facing an unstoppable tide.

Fulham fans will be hoping that the tide has not turned for their club irreversibly.

Stephen Orford
19/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

Always one for leading the way in terms of innovative new ideas, the Premiership is again at the forefront of another development in the game. Until last Sunday fans could expect to leave the stadium seething about one decision or another without even the merest hint as to what on God's Earth could be going through the referee's mind. No more.

Setting the trend was ginger-topped west-country whistler Paul Durkin. Following the televised Premiership match between Manchester United and Newcastle United at Old Trafford last Sunday Durkin gave a short interview explaining one or two of his "interesting decisions" in the match. Firstly, he protested that he did not have a good enough view of the very visible contact between Manchester United goalkeeper Tim Howard and Newcastle striker Alan Shearer. He followed that up by explaining that he had managed to see a foul commited by Mikael Silvestre in the act of hooking the ball into the Newcastle net for what might have been the winning goal. Most of the watching public saw no foul, but since Durkin had explained himself the general consensus was that there could be no complaints. You didn't have to agree with him, but you had to respect his honesty so the theory went. The fact that he had gone from a state of almost complete blindness during the penalty incident to eagle-eyed powers of observation during the disallowed goal became a side issue.

Durkin's comments have started an epidemic of referees having their say. In yesterday's games both Jeff Winter and Mark Halsey offered us their thoughts on the contentious decisions in the matches involving Chelsea and Birmingham and Aston Villa and Arsenal respectively. Winter was probably right in saying that William Gallas' awkward stumble in the Birmingham box was not worthy of a penalty. The man most famous for his role as referee in the recent revival of the BBC's Superstars series thought that the incident was nothing more than "a coming together" of players. He subsequently explained that he gave a handball against Gallas who fell onto the ball, brushing it with his hand as he did so. I may or may not be the only person who distinctly remembers Winter signalling that a push had been committed by Gallas rather than a handball, but perhaps I am just nit-picking.

Halsey's decision to allow Thierry Henry to take a quick free-kick and thus score Arsenal's first goal in a 2-0 win over Aston Villa was perhaps a little more baffling. Halsey suggested that he had offered Henry the choice between taking a quick free-kick or having the Villa wall moved back ten yards. Excuse me? Come again? Since when has this sort of choice been on the footballers menu at a free-kick around the edge of the box? Halsey claimed that he is under no obligation to tell the Aston Villa players that a free-kick is about to be taken quickly, and that there is no need for a whistle to be blown. David O'Leary wasn't too impressed, calling the decision to allow Henry to proceed so swiftly "a joke". Sadly, he wasn't really laughing and it was hard not to have some sympathy for him. Taken to the nth degree, Halsey's approach to the game may result in there being no need for him to bring his whistle with him at all when next he referees a game. Why waste all that energy blowing the whistle when you can just ask the players what they want? You can almost hear the requests pouring in. "I'll have a penalty, thanks Mark." "Make mine a 2-0 lead away at Old Trafford". "Another ten minutes injury time, please? Cheers then, mate."

All of which throws widely open to question the actual benefits of having referees come out and give their explanations when the game is over. There is an argument which suggests that the words of wisdom from the referee offer a worthwhile insight into his decision making progress. It is argued that this helps players, managers and fans alike to understand where it all went wrong. However, until the seemingly far off introduction of video replays at football matches this does not change the fact that quite often referees do still get muddled up, and that their decisions are bound to leave some fans feeling a little bewildered. Do Villa fans really feel any better this Monday morning because of Halsey's explanation? Was Paul Durkin really being honest about the Silvestre "no-goal" or was he just levelling things up after his penalty howler earlier in the game? Does Jeff Winter care what we think or does he just like being on television?

Aside from whether we believe what we hear from the merry whistle blowers, there is another issue to be considered here. Should referees feel obliged to explain themselves in front of the cameras every time there is a debatable decision in a game? Players, especially those in the 80% mediocre Premiership, make mistakes on a regular basis. None of those players are ever asked to talk to Claire Tomlinson about why they hoofed the ball into their own net spectacularly from 20 yards, or why they failed to hit the net from two yards despite the absence of the goalkeeper. Managers too are spared the ordeal of having to explain why they took off their star striker for a defender despite being 4-0 down, or why they insist on instructing their players to wallop the ball up to the 'big lad' up front. However, referees it seems are more culpable for their errors than anybody else in the game. The philosophy now is that if we cannot have justice at the time of the incident, then we at least want to hear a feeble excuse as to why not. More and more, players and managers want to be made to feel as if their latest catastrophe is not their fault, even if they know it is.

by : Duncan Collingwood

In light of the recent club versus country rows regarding the African Nations Cup, I think it is time for FIFA to sit down, and sort this problem out. The most recent case involving Freddie Kanoute has left Tottenham Hotspur without their top goalscorer, at a time when they are battling to stay in the top division. Under new FIFA ruling Kanoute is now eligible to play for his fathers country of birth Mali, despite having represented the French U21 national team. This gave Kanoute an opportunity to play at senior level, as the French team had such a wealth of talent, Kanoute never thought he would never get a chance to represent them. The new ruling stated that playing U21 level would not disqualify you of representing a different country at senior level. This left him with a hard decision to make, but why should a player have to choose between playing for their country of their club?

In the African Nations Cup which starts in January this year 2004, there are a total of 160 players from European clubs travelling to the tournament in Tunisia. Sixty-four of those players play for French clubs, 23 for English, 21 in Belgium, 10 in Turkey and Italy, and a further 36 players spread across countries like Russia, Sweden, Greece, Portugal, Switzerland, Scotland, Norway, Bulgaria, Denmark, Romania, Poland and the Ukraine. There are 16 teams competing for the African Nations Cup this time, each squad is based on 22 players, so in total that’s 308 players in the competition. So that means 51% of them play for European clubs, it’s the equivalent to 14 starting eleven’s. Surely this number of players must have a negative impact in their domestic countries, maybe not the likes of Romania, but just look at France
or England.

Is this not a valid case? There is definitely something here for FIFA to think about. Firstly, why not have a winter break throughout Europe in January, this would allow players to freely go and represent their countries. Another option would be to have the tournament every four years rather than every two, the same as the European Championships. This would cause fewer problems, as it would be less frequent. There is also the case for moving the tournament to the summer, however, some of the countries would be too hot to play in during the day. You might say that the players are African so surely they would be used to the temperatures, but as previously mentioned 51% play in Europe. So week in week out, they play in completely different climates. Also a number of the African players in Europe moved to Europe when they were very young, and so have not really grown up in the countries of birth, and are not used to the conditions. Playing in the summer may also mean that some countries may not even get considered because they are considerably hotter than the rest, such as Tunisia for example, this years hosts. But why not evening games?

If these sort of player and club rows keep happening there may come a point when European clubs will decide that they will not buy African players because of it. What a waist of talent that would be, especially as a lot of these players are key figures for their European clubs. Look no further than Kanoute, Jay-Jay Okocha (Bolton), Bobo Balde (Celtic), Samuel Eto’o (Mallorca), Steven Pienaar (Ajax), Obafemi Martins (Inter), Julius Aghahowa (Shakhtar Donetsk) or Geremi Njitap (Chelsea). It’s up to FIFA now to sort this problem out, because it’s not going to go away. It’s simply not fair on the players or clubs.

Duncan Collingwood
17/01/04

by : James Loose

In recent weeks the media’s eyes have been focused on Tottenham, as the will they, won’t they relegation saga unfolds before David Pleat and his team. But an area of speculation that has been largely ignored in favor of the struggle to stay in the Premiership is who will be in the manager’s seat next season? If the press releases coming from White Hart Lane are to be believed (and who’s ever heard of those being wrong?) then the club has a man in their sights and seem fairly confident that he will come.

So who will it be? The early front runner was Celtic’s Martin O’Neil, with Celtic running away with the league and his contract up at the end of the season it was clear to all die hard supporters that he was on his way to London, he won’t be. It is clear that Scottish football can’t supply the kind of challenge that one of the countries top managers will undoubtedly crave, and it is logical that he will leave eventully. However, there is no real reason why he would leave a team who are progressing well in Europe, and are top of their domestic league for a club who may well be in the first division when he arrives, there’s a challenge and there’s professional suicide.

The next manager put up for consideration was Wales boss Mark Hughes, following his sides failure to qualify for Euro 2004 many pundits have said that he could be looking for a club job, and where better to start than a Premiership side? While Hughes could be the man to steer Spurs back to their glory days it is not very likely. Yet another of Britain’s excellent young managers, he has show his desire to take Wales to their first championship finals for more decades than the fans care to remember, and won’t leave unless he’s pushed. The final stumbling block is the club them selves, it is unlikely they will want to appoint someone who has no experience of domestic management, despite his obvious talent.

There has been some, limited talk of appointing a foreign man, while this has worked for teams like Chelsea and Arsenal, it is a tactic unlikely to appeal, remember Gross? If Spurs are going to bring in a manager with the club in its current state it seems that they will have to find one who is out of work and looking to make a return at any level. There is a huge list of people who fit the bill, but very few the club will actually consider hiring. Peter Reid has been in this situation twice before taking over a struggling side and trying to turn them around, and so would be the perfect man for the job, if he had succeeded. His outrageous sacking by Leeds aside, Reid’s last few years at Sunderland showed that he may not be a manager who can take a team to the top half of the league. Leaving the facts to one side, the fans would not provide him with a warm welcome, and with things as they are the last thing the club needs is to lose the faith of their supporters.

Sadly for all concerned popularity amongst the fans could also rule out Glen Roeder. Staying with the out of work theme the final manager for consideration is Terry Venables. Another man to be shown the door by Leeds for no firm reason he could prove to be the Spurs savior. But as with so many of the rumors this looks like another dead end, the decision-making men won’t want to bring in someone who has been out of the game (Leeds aside) for so long, and may be wary of his punditry interfering with his main duties.

Well that’s that then, after dismissing almost every eligible manager who will be the new boss? There is for me only one real choice, David Pleat. Not only is he popular with the fans, he has helped to turn the club around, and could be the only man who will willingly take the job even if they do go down. It would also make sense of the press release that Tottenham have a good chance of getting their man (and who’s ever heard of a press release being wrong?)

James Loose
17/01/2004

by : Dave Thrilling

Dave Thrilling marvels at how Dion Dublin has relaunched his Aston Villa career.

The recent mini revival of Aston Villa has been due in no small part to a veteran striker turned emergency defender. If speculation is to be believed, this summer Dion Dublin will have the choice to extend his current deal with the midlands outfit or finish his career with a crack at the Champions League with Glasgow Rangers.

Dublin who turns 35 in April started the season as Villa’s sixth choice striker but is now considered as a defensive rock that David O’Leary cannot afford to leave out. Not only does Dion compliment the group of potentially exciting youngsters breaking through the ranks at Villa Park, but he also adds a leadership quality that Villa so dearly lacked in the first part of the season.

It is truly amazing that a player abused by the home crowd every time he made a mistake just 12 months ago is now a cult hero with the Holte End faithful. However, it is even more remarkable that Dublin is still playing at the top level at all after a life threatening injury in 1999. A seemingly innocuous collision during a game against Sheffield Wednesday resulted in surgery on fractured neck vertebrae. On his return to first team action it was clear that such a traumatic experience had affected him both mentally and physically. Despite the winning penalty in the FA Cup semi final shoot out which took Villa to their first final in 43 years, his aerial power had almost disappeared and he was a far cry from the player who so nearly forced his way into Glen Hoddle’s 1998 World Cup squad.

Dublin became an instant hit at Villa after scoring seven times in his first three appearances. John Gregory admitted that he planned to play him in defence after a few years. Gregory is a figure of the past but Dublin is certainly part of O’Leary’s future plans. Indeed, O’Leary even suggested that Dublin was “a calming influence” on the hot-headed Alpay when asked to comment on the solid central defensive partnership they formed at Stamford Bridge earlier this season. After Alpay’s departure and a brief spell for full back Mark Delaney at centre half, Dublin has developed a formidable pairing with Olof Mellberg that has left the consistent Ronny Johnsen to settle for a substitute role in many of the last few matches. Dublin may lack pace but his reading of the game is exquisite. In addition, his presence and organisation skills have helped to propel Villa towards mid table safety. He has kept the likes of Beattie, Rooney and Viduka quiet in front of goal and even has the audacity to casually play the ball about at the back in tight areas. Dublin is certainly no Paul Mcgrath but he appears to be just as popular with a certain section of home supporters.

When Graham Taylor returned for his second spell as manager Dublin’s days at Villa Park looked numbered. A severe lack of form suggested that he was too old for the rigours of Premiership football. Peter Crouch and Marcus Allback were signed and Dublin was loaned to Millwall. Bizarrely this reignited Dublin’s career. He performed well at Millwall and returned to Villa Park a hero after scoring against Birmingham in the First Division play-off semi final. Millwall missed out on promotion, which meant they were unable to afford Dublin on a permanent basis. Despite starting the 2002-3 season down the pecking order Dublin rediscovered his form, forced his way back in the first team and ended the season as Villa’s top goalscorer. His only blemish was the infamous head butt on Robbie Savage which some may argue is the act of a hero.

The ex-Cambridge and Coventry City favourite has overcome setbacks before. He was released by Norwich without getting a first team game and a big money move to Manchester United didn’t work out after a broken leg forced him into several months on the sidelines. By the time he had recovered Mark Hughes and Eric Cantona had formed one of the most formidable striking partnerships in the country. Indeed, Sir Alex may best remember Dublin for possessing the largest manhood he had ever seen in the dressing room, at least according to Ferguson himself.

If Dublin continues to perform consistently until May, David O’Leary will have no hesitation in offering him a new deal. Perhaps, the lure of Champions League football may be too good to decline. For now though after a difficult few months for the “emergency” defender it must be music to his ears to hear the Villa fans chanting his name again. After all, he is used to music in his ears – his father was a member of 60s pop group Showaddywaddy!!

by : David Hulott

It’s probably just coincidence, but having gone down just about every conceivable avenue to destroy Leeds United as a club, I’ve an uncomfortable feeling that those that have held power at Elland Road in recent years have decided to start looking at opportunities to replicate the story elsewhere in football.

Peter Ridsdale is already in the early stages of weaving his financial wizardry at Barnsley, Southampton boss Gordon Strachan was no sooner linked with the manager’s job at Leeds than he decided to resign over health concerns (quite possibly related) and Nottingham Forest hit a dismal run of form from the very moment that Paul Hart was installed as favourite to replace Peter Reid in the West Yorkshire managerial merry-go-round.

After reaching the play-off semi-finals last term, Forest started the current campaign among the pre-season favourites for promotion. Such seemingly well-placed optimism has long since disappeared though, with the club currently hovering just above the bottom three in the table after 12-league games without a win – their worst league position for 50 years. With their form in freefall, there are now genuine fears of relegation to contend with and it was reported that the meeting between Hart and chairman Nigel Doughty last week was to bring the manager’s two-and-a-half-year tenure to a close.

In the event, Hart is still in charge at the City Ground, although unless results pick up with immediate effect, his next little chat with Doughty is likely to end with a P45 winging its way to the Hart household. There is already talk that Glenn Hoddle, a friend of Doughty, could be lined up to take over the managerial duties – that’s sure to help team morale!

Luck certainly hasn’t been with Hart this season, with Doughty and the Forest board seemingly lacking any real ambition for the club when it comes to investing in players and in imposing a strict salary cap. In addition, last season’s prolific David Johnson has missed almost the entire season with a broken leg and key defender Michael Dawson has been sidelined for much of the campaign with glandular fever and a torn hamstring. In Johnson’s absence, the sale of strike partner Marlon Harewood to West Ham United in November for £500,000 did little to help. The depth and quality of Hart’s squad was also badly hit by the loss of Jim Brennan, Riccardo Scimeca and Jack Lester on Bosman deals over the summer, largely as a result of the strict salary cap imposed by the board.

In truth, the board have given Hart more funds than some of his peers, but Forest’s major acquisitions since the summer have yet to convince. Almost £1.5 million was spent on Gareth Taylor and Marlon King, but neither has yet to suggest that they are capable of weighing in with the goals provided by Johnson or Harewood. At the other end, the defence looks badly in need of reinforcements, with youngsters like Wes Morgan and Gregor Robertson plying their trade alongside 39-year old Des Walker.

The main plus point this season has been the form of Andy Reid, with a big-money move to the Premiership seemingly inevitable in the summer, if not in the current transfer window. It will be vital that a hefty percentage of any fee from the sale of Reid is given to the manager to bolster a wafer thin squad that is heavily reliant on young, inexperienced players.

It should be remembered how much Hart has done to balance the books and bring young talent through the ranks at the club, following on from the dismal reign of David Platt. Where Platt was given little short of an open chequebook (anyone remember Salvatore Matrecano, Gianluca Petrachi and Moreno Mannini?), Hart has largely been forced to rely on developing players through the youth academy, in the knowledge that they will be sold on as soon as any serious offers come in (Jermaine Jenas and David Prutton being the two that stand out).

With Johnson and Dawson both seemingly close to returning to the side, an upturn in results should be well within their capacity. It’s to be hoped that the board have enough foresight to ensure that Hart is still there to lead the recovery. There will be plenty of interested parties looking to give Hart a job should the axe fall at the City Ground.

David Hulott
17/01/2004

Thanks to Tom Lewers for his correction.

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks about Emile Heskey leaving Liverpool.

Emile Heskey is one of the most often criticised Liverpool strikers in living memory, but I am still surprised at speculation linking him with a move away from the Anfield club in this January's transfer window.

It has been suggested that the England man has been the subject of an approach from Middlesbrough, and the implication was that Liverpool might be prepared to listen to offers. The surprising aspect of all this, if it is true, is the timing of it. With Liverpool's squad currently decimated by injury particularly in the striking department, you would think that they would be keen to hold on to a player who they have always publicly defended in the face of persistent criticism from fans and media alike.

Michael Owen has been in and out of the Liverpool side since October with a series of nagging injuries, while Milan Baros has not played since breaking his ankle in a match with Blackburn Rovers early in the season. Selling Heskey now would leave an even bigger chasm in Liverpool's strike force as they pursue Champions' League qualification and remain in the running for honours in both the FA and UEFA Cups.

The irony of all of this speculation is that Heskey is now probably enjoying his best run of form in a Liverpool jersey for a long time. In the continued absence of Owen and Baros he has led the line admirably, if not exactly skillfully, in a team that has often looked bewildered and lost. Against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge last week Heskey was the proverbial tower of strength, expertly setting up the winning goal for Lord Lucan, er, sorry, Bruno Cheyrou. Now though, it seems that setting up winning goals for the new Zinedine Zidane (Houllier's words, not mine) is not enough for the former Leicester City striker. Nor is it enough for many Liverpool fans, who have often cited Heskey's modest goal-scoring record at Anfield as evidence of his failure.

Earlier in the week Heskey muttered something about maybe having to leave Anfield to secure regular first team football. Like Nicky Butt at Manchester United, Heskey is obviously fearing for his international prospects if he is left to kick his heels on the sidelines when Owen and Baros regain full fitness. It is questionable, however, whether a move to Middlesbrough would be the wisest move to assist Heskey's international credentials. Like Heskey, Middlesbrough are noted for not having hit the back of the net since the last time Northern Ireland scored a goal, and it is unlikely that he will be the grateful recipient of a plethora of goal-scoring chances at the Riverside. It seems that the best thing that Emile Heskey can do to guarantee himself a place in the England team is to send the boys round to Wayne Rooney's house.

Emile Heskey does look certain to leave Liverpool at some point in the near future, but it would probably be in the club's interests to wait until the summer to off-load the player. Djibriel Cisse looks set to arrive at Anfield from Auxerre at the end of the season and if Liverpool can persuade Michael Owen that they are worth a few more years of his career then Heskey's position does start to look unstable. Add a fit and hungry Milan Baros into the mix and a move looks inevitable for Heskey.

As an aside, Djimi Traore has also been making noises about a move away from Liverpool. So that's two down by the summer. Now, who else is on my list? Salif Diao, anyone?

by : Scott Stephens

Ring announcer: Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at 15 stones and standing at 5ft 10, wearing the blue of Birmingham, it’s the one and only Steve ‘The Bruiser’ Bruce.
The Birmingham crowd howl in appreciation as the former Norwich and Man Utd defender walks through the entrance as The White Stripes ‘Seven Nation Army’ fills the stadium.
Ring announcer: And introducing his opponent…
The home crowds cheers turn instantly to a crescendo of boos.
Ring announcer: Fighting out of the red corner, weighing in at a trim 12 stones and standing tall at 5ft 11, wearing the white Villa away strip it’s David ‘The Irish Assassin’ O’Leary.
Martin: I haven’t heard Birmingham this vocal since Wembley got the nod for the National Stadium!
Andy: I wouldn’t go there if I were you, especially considering where we are.
O’Leary steps out with a face like thunder as House Of Pain’s superb ‘Jump Around’ fills the air.
Martin: Big Dave doesn’t look happy.
Andy: You wouldn’t either if your chairman was Deadly Doug Ellis. He’s probably told O’Leary that he’s selling Angel for a new motor!
Martin: Whatever it is he’s certainly pumped up for this.
The referee calls both of them over to the middle and tells them the rules of the bout while the fans generate an almighty sound. Bruce and O’Leary shake hands and the bell rings.
Martin: And we’re off!
Straight away O’Leary is on the attack and is throwing a series of body shots at Bruce but Bruce covers up like a professional boxer, not feeling a thing.
Andy: Well we knew Bruce was defensive minded but this is something else.
Martin: The boy learned how to defend from Fergie but maybe Bruce is responsible for getting Fergie into boxing?
Andy: Don’t be stupid. As if you’re going to teach your boss, who already has a slight mental disposition and a habit of throwing things at players in the dressing room, how to box. That would be suicidal.
Back in the ring O’Leary is in a right sweat following his little punch session. Realising his punches are having no effect he opts for an alternative form of attack … he goes for the legs.
Martin: Eat your heart out Bruce Lee! That was an awesome leg sweep by the Irish Assassin.
Andy: It certainly was and just remember the age-old adage … it doesn’t matter how tall or big they are they’re all the same size when they’re on their back.
Martin: Except for Vanessa Feltz!
Andy: Yeah I was going to mention her.
Martin: And that thirty stones darts champion Andy Fordham.
Andy: Yeah ok, look, it’s only a saying, don’t take things so flaming literally.
Suddenly O’Leary grabs them both by the throat.
O’Leary: Listen you punks. You’re getting paid to commentate on me being crowned King of Birmingham, not about fat people.
Andy: Ok, ok, sorry Dave. It’s all his fault.
Martin: No it wasn’t, you started it.
O’Leary bangs their heads together.
O’Leary: Look I’ve got more important things to worry about than you two so just do what you’re told ok.
Martin: Yes boss.
Andy: Yes Dave.
O’Leary: That’s better.
Andy: DUCK!
Bruce appears behind O’Leary with a steel chair in his hands. O’Leary quick as a flash goes to ground but Martin is looking up to the sky for a duck.
WHACK!
Martin Tyler’s cranium is cracked with an ill-timed chair shot from Steve Bruce and the crowd takes a deep intake of breath.
Andy: Oh my God. Look what you’ve done to my partner…
Martin is slumped over the commentary table with blood gushing out of his head.
Bruce looks on aghast as he realises what he’s done. Suddenly O’Leary smacks Bruce square in the spuds bringing the Birmingham boss down to his knees quicker than Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office.
Andy: Serves you right you crazy fool. Here take this as well.
Andy throws a massive right hand at Bruce which sends him careering to the ground in a heap.
Paramedics rush down to ringside and quickly take Martin Tyler out of the arena.
Andy: Well what am I meant to do? I’m all on my own and this fight hasn’t really got started yet. Is there anyone in the back that can help me out? I hope Martin’s ok?
David O’Leary looks at Andy and stares to say ‘will you just shut up and get on with it?’
O’Leary jumps on the tearful Bruce and begins placing him in a figure four leg lock.
Andy: In all of the six previous brawls that I’ve had the pleasure to commentate on I think this is the first time that I have ever seen an actual wrestling hold!
Bruce is writhing in agony while O’Leary tries to sit up to get more leverage.
Suddenly a figure is seen running down to ringside.
Andy: Finally some help for me out here.
The crowd cheer like the Blues have just scored a goal and it becomes clear when the person gets into view.
Andy: Yes! Jasper Carrott’s here! Where’s Nigel Kennedy, give me Kennedy!
Jasper throws himself into the ring and jumps on the Villa boss. O’Leary breaks the hold and tries to cover up from Carrott’s assault but to no avail.
Andy: This is appalling… Five minutes I’ve been waiting for a new co-commentator and there’s still no sign of it. Still I’m on for my bet!
Andy looks up the ramp and sees another figure running down.
Andy: Ah this looks promising.
The St Andrews crowd start booing as the mystery figure is revealed as none other than Villa’s biggest celebrity fan, violinist Nigel Kennedy with his trustee violin under his arm.
Andy: Yes, yes, yes! C’mon my boy!
Kennedy crawls into the ring and smashes his violin over Carrott’s head. The crowd gasp.
Andy: That’s gotta hurt!
Carrott staggers to the ground and collapses in a heap on the canvas when out of nowhere Bruce spears the Violinist to the ground to rapturous applause from the home fans.
Andy: That was like a train crash!
Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth and Bruce gets to his feet when suddenly another figure is seen running down to ringside.
Andy: Please be Mr Risdale, £15,000 grand would be lovely … Oh what’s he doing here?
The Birmingham fans howl in anger as Deadly Doug Ellis makes his way to the squared circle. Bruce clenches his fist and goes to swing for him but Ellis holds his hands up and points towards O’Leary in the corner. Deadly Doug strolls towards his manager, looks down at him, and wallops him on the side of the head.
Andy: What the…
The home fans go mad, not believing what they’ve witnessed. Deadly Doug continues his onslaught on his manager when another two rather large figures come dashing to ringside.
Andy: This really is starting to turn into the Generation Game!
Peter Risdale emerges and runs down to ringside to help the Villa chairman attack O’Leary while Bruce looks on startled.
Andy: Yes, yes, yes! Now all we need is that little minx Brady to show her face.
Almost as soon as Risdale hits the ring another two figures race towards the ring. The lights shine on to the two figures to reveal former Villa bosses Ron Atkinson and Graham Taylor looking extremely annoyed.
Andy: It looks like tonight is the perfect night for these former Villa bosses to get their own back on the chairman from hell.
Ron and Graham run straight for Deadly Doug, taking him right off his feet.
Andy: Unbelievable! … I’ve finally got a new co-commentator and it’s none other than Scarface himself, Alan Hansen.
Alan Hansen puts on his headset.
Alan: We’ll have less of that you Toffee scum. You’ve coped well on your own. Obviously you’re not ready for the big step-up to presenting on your own but you did well.
Andy: Cheers.
Back in the ring, Big Ron and Graham Taylor have splattered Deadly Doug’s nose over his face and Peter Risdale has ran out of the ring scared for his life. Ron and Taylor start tying rope to Doug’s hands and feet.
Andy: What on earth are they doing to the poor guy?
Alan: It’s just as well I’m here because it’s quite obvious what’s going on.
Andy: What?
Alan: They’re going to stretch him until he’s torn in two.
Andy: Oh yeah… obviously!
Big Ron makes sure that his end is firmly secured before attaching it to a huge shire horse, and Graham Taylor does like wise. Suddenly a huge bang is heard and both horses bolt for it.
Andy: Oh no… that’s gruesome!
Alan: Aye it is quite bad, you’d never get this on Match of the Day!
Doug Ellis has been torn in two and his organs are splattered around ringside along with his stale blood.
Graham Taylor: I do like that!
Taylor and Big Ron leave the ring with their arms held aloft victoriously as Bruce and O’Leary lock horns again. O’Leary swings Bruce into the ring before connecting with a glorious drop kick.
Andy: That was perfectly executed.
Alan: It was good but it wasn’t perfect. Surely Bruce knew what was coming.
O’Leary picks up Bruce and throws him into the ropes again.
Andy: Another drop kick…
Alan: No he’s gonna hit him with a powerbomb.
O’Leary lifts Bruce up and slams him to the ground with an amazing amount of force.
Alan: Told you.
Andy: How did you know it wasn’t going to be another drop kick?
Alan: Think about it. Vary your attack and you’ve got a better chance of surprise.
With O’Leary having the upper hand it looks like Bruce is there for the taking when suddenly a voluptuous brunette is seen strutting it down to ringside.
Andy: Oh yes, yes, yes. Please tell me this is who I think it is…
Alan: Why don’t you try Karen Brady!
Andy: I’d love to but I don’t think her husband Peschisolido would be too pleased!
Sure enough it is the Birmingham Managing Director making her way to the ring.
Alan: Oh isn’t she just looking fantastic tonight? I have never seen her look better to be honest.
Andy: Whatever you say Al. I’m planning on how to spend my money.
Karen steps up on the ramp and distracts O’Leary by lifting up her skirt revealing the flesh of her inner thigh.
Alan: Oh my! What a lucky boy David is.
David moves towards her and places his arms around her waist.
Andy: Oh no. Are we going to see a cross-city relationship here?
Alan: I hope not, come here darling! Come and get a bit of Scotch in ya!
Andy: The Zulus are getting restless. This doesn’t look good at all.
O’Leary then plants his thin lips on to Brady and starts gliding his fingers through her hair when suddenly he pulls her hair off to reveal the glowing golden locks of Birmingham’s antagonistic midfielder Robbie Savage!
Andy bursts out laughing while Alan looks on mortified, but not as half as bad as O’Leary.
Andy: O’Leary looks like he has just died and gone to hell.
Alan: Well he’s half way there.
Out of nowhere Bruce lamps O’Leary with an iron bar and the big Irishman stands there stunned.
Andy: Oh no, the Zulus are making there move. I can’t look.
The Zulus start charging towards the ring, life up their spears, and throw them at O’Leary.
Alan: I knew these Brummies were hard up but surely they could have afforded a few quid to go and buy themselves Kerplunk instead of using O’Leary.
Every single spear pierces the Villa boss’s body and the former Leeds manager is stuck to the spot.
Andy: This is horrible.
Bruce and Savage begin pulling the spears out of O’Leary waiting for his head to fall to the ground in true Kerplunk style.
Andy: I can’t believe I have just witnessed this. By the way, what on earth are you doing here tonight?
Alan: I was here to break the bad news to you.
Andy: What bad news? It’s not Martin is it?
Alan: No, you know how last time you mentioned the EU questioning you for having a monopoly on Premiership Managers Brawl and that some matches might be leased to other broadcasters?
Andy: Yes…
Alan: Well we’ve won the rights to the next brawl between two fiery Scots Graeme Sounes of Blackburn and David Moyes of Everton.
Andy: But what am I going to do with myself?
Alan: Go and have a wee break, recharge your batteries.
Andy: I suppose I could go on holiday with my winnings.
Alan: What winnings?
Andy: The winnings from my … Savage? It was Savage not Brady. That longhaired girl? I’m going to kill him!
Andy throws off his headset and chases Robbie Savage out of the stadium.
Alan: Well that’s the last you’ll see of him for a couple of weeks. By the way news has just reached us that Martin Tyler is also stable in hospital. Take it easy pal. But next time on Premiership Managers Brawl it will be an awesome contest with a Scottish touch as Graeme Souness and David Moyes hook up live on squarefootball.net tv with Gary Lineker, John Motson, Trevor Brooking and myself in attendance. Until then fight fans, peace.
Scott Stephens investigates football and religion.

Having grown up and lived in a very multicultural area of London, I have been exposed to many forms of religion. Personally, I am not religious and would like to avoid the clich of saying that 'football is my religion'. I'll leave the notion of what qualifies something to be a religion, to those better placed to do so. If it is faith and worship, then I'm sure that most reading this article, find that through football. I have a Church; only mine doesn't have a roof, the 'pews' are plastic and it has a 110 by 71 yards piece of turf in the middle!

However, I'm not trying to divide the two phenomenon's but rather see the amazing ways in which the two crossover; agree and disagree. One particular image that will stick in my mind for a long time was walking home from a party late one Friday night and cutting across my local common. Having not have drunk that night, I knew my eyes were not deceiving me as I made out two 11 a-side teams of Orthodox Jews, in full religious dress, chasing a football around in complete darkness! I couldn't help but to enquire as to what was going on! One of the goalkeeper's informed me that an important religious festival had just ended and they wanted to celebrate it with a 'kick-about'. Unbelievable! Anyone for a game on Christmas morning?

I also remember being at school and college, where some Muslim friends would 'skip' Friday prayers to come and play football at lunchtime and can also recall a boy who got withdrawn from my Sunday League Team by his mum for missing Church too often!

Religion is however, a major part of football for many of the world's top players. We are very accustomed to players, especially from Spain and South America, 'crossing' themselves as they run out on to the pitch. But for what are they crossing you have to ask? Is it a plea to keep evil spirits at bay or a plea to score a hat-trick. For many players, it is a matter of course, but with all due respect, the same players wouldn't 'cross' themselves as they entered a shop or a restaurant would they? I think it's the hat-trick they're after!

In many countries, religion is crucial to a team's pre match routine, especially at National level. It is common for South American teams to bring a priest into the dressing room, prior to kick off who will read sections of the bible as all the players hold hands, often shedding tears in an amazing display of emotion and team solidarity.

Before each game of their very successful world cup campaign in 2002, members of the Senegalese team would read sections from the Muslim holy book ' the Qu'ran, in an attempt to get each other fired up for the game in hand. The teams shock victory in their first game against France was marked by amazing scenes in the country's capital, Dakar, where only a handful of worshippers attended a Friday prayer at the city's Grand Mosque; all clearly watching the game, a fact welcomed and encouraged by the mosque's Imam. What 's more, the teams French coach, Bruno Metsu, actually converted to the religion as his team progressed to the knockout stages.

French World Cup winner Emmanuel Petit, turned to Zen Buddhism to help him through his footballing career. At the tender age of 17, his older brother Olivier died on the pitch whilst playing for the French side, Dieppe. Olivier had a fatal brain haemorrhage after heading a ball. Petit went on of course to score a goal in the world cup final and believed that his brother had a big role to play in the goal and duly dedicated the goal to him.

Perhaps the most amazing crossover between religion and football began a couple of years ago, when a group of local residents in Rosario, Argentina founded the first 'Maradonian church' or the 'Hand of God Church'. With an original congregation of about 50, the Religion now boasts upwards of 20,000 members who live in the year 43 AD (after Diego) and whose most holy of days is celebrated on the 30th of October, Diego Maradonna's birthday. Members of the congregation are very offended when people suggest that the religion is purely humorous as they feel as if Maradonna has created such exposure for their country and for the whole of South America. Alejandro Veron, the religion's founder has said that 'just because it's a new religion doesn't mean it should be laughed at. It may have not have such legendary tales as other religions but it is after all a sporting religion.'

As I said in my introduction, I wanted not to separate religion and football but rather see how the two crossover and work together. Clearly here, with the notion of a 'sporting religion', they are one and the same thing.

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks that the biggest south London transfer target is at Charlton and not Fulham.

Forget about the furore surrounding the future of Louis Saha, the most important transfer deal of the current window could involve Charlton Athletic midfielder Scott Parker.

Parker is said to be the subject of a big money bid from those crazy rich kids at Chelsea. It has been a while since Roman Abramovich has been able to wave his fat wallet around, and it is no surprise that he is eager to add Parker to his collection of stars. However, I would question the wisdom of moving from a club where first team football is all but guaranteed, to becoming just another pawn on Claudio Ranieri's mad-cap chess board of 'champions'.

I understand Parker's interest in a transfer of this magnitude. As well as Charlton have done this season, it is still fair to suggest that the young England man will not be able to fulfill all of his footballing ambitions at the club. If he has designs on regular Champions' League football and a slot in the England side then you would think that a move away from the Valley would seem to be his only option. Charlton fans will rightly feel that this is unfair. Another case of the fat, brainless bullies pushing the little blokes around the playground until they have stolen all of their lunch money. Unfortunately, it is now becoming more and more the way of the football world.

Cynics may question my motivation for this one, but I suggest that Parker should wait until the summer to move from Charlton, and that when he does go he should find himself a club at which he will be a major influence. A club like Liverpool, perhaps? The reds midfield is crying out for a slice of the midfield creativity that Parker offers. One of the most improved players in England over the last few years, Parker could be the missing ingredient that allows Liverpool to finally mount that long-awaited title challenge. If Parker's signature could be secured the Anfield club would then only need to add Robbie Keane, Captain America, David Blaine and Jesus Christ to their squad to become a realistic Premiership contender.

Whether Liverpool have the money or the foresight to sign Parker is hugely open to question. If not Anfield, perhaps the boy who famously showed off his ball juggling skills in a McDonald's advert during the 1994 World Cup could attract the interest of Manchester United. The all-conquering, self-proclaimed biggest club in the world are currently employing one Philip Neville in a midfield role. Though Neville has filled that role adequately enough, Sir Alex Ferguson is surely a man who strives constantly for improvement. Neville may be good enough in the eyes of Sir Alex to see off Nicky Butt, but whether he could hold off a young, talented midfield prospect like Parker for too long is questionable. Don't rule out a late attempt from Old Trafford to snatch Charlton's prize asset from under the noses of Chelsea.

All of this speculation has clearly ruffled Parker's feathers a little. The indications are that he is interested in a move to Chelsea who, at this point, are still the only club to go public with their interest in the player. Parker's head has obviously been turned. So much so that Charlton manager Alan Curbishley has ruled the player out of this weekend's trip to Everton after deciding yesterday that he was 'not in the right frame of mind' to attend training.

The latest rumours have Joe Cole heading to the Valley in an audacious swap-deal. Cole has only been at Stamford Bridge for a matter of months, but has struggled to make the impact that he had perhaps hoped for when he joined from West Ham United. If nothing else, this should serve as a warning to Parker about the possible pitfalls of joining the Russian revolution. However, with Alan Curbishley already stating that 15 million pounds wouldn't be enough to persuade him to part with his man, Chelsea may yet find themselves in the enviable position of being the only club with enough money to sign him.

by : Steve Heald

Hello! It’s good to be back in Blighty…I think…Harold Flatcap here back in the UK and catching up on the lost days of my life.

I don’t know how long I was under the clutches of the evil cult, worshipping
at the altar of Uncle Sepp every day. Time had no meaning in our collective. All we lived for were our daily preaching from Sepp before entering the world in our regulation tight grey suit spreading the gospel of the cult known as FIFA. Preaching to the unconverted about larger goal posts, 4 quarters in a match, leagues with 16 teams. Showing the way forward to the non-believers. They laughed, they refused to listen, but Sepp told us not to worry. Come judgement day we would have secured enough votes from African banana republics to ensure we could fight on into another day.

At times my past attempted to catch up with me. A stranger would approach me and shout

“Flatcap! Remember that bloody tackle you did on me in 1962? Left me with severe whiplash, one knee permanently facing the wrong direction and a speech im-im-im-I-I-I-I-impediment…”

or

“Bloody hell Flatcap, after the mess you made managing our club I thought you were barred from ever setting foot in this town again”.

But I now realised I was brainwashed. All those automatons you see on TV whenever FIFA are handling a major game or a world cup draw. They all surrendered their soul to the cult of FIFA. I know that now. Thanks to the regular therapy I receive from Dr Ludovic Frankshurer in his practice above the Dog and Partridge public House on Walthamstow high street (next door to the mucky book shop and the tatooist) I now can see how I’ve been living my life as a sham for the last few months. I’m lucky to escape with my life, not many do.

I’m very groggy and still attempting to piece my mind back together. Dr Frankshurer says it will take a long time. Catching up on news events is confusing. Back in the cult I remember catching the odd news item about England being world cup winners. Whenever such a story would appear on the television or on the radio Uncle Sepp would switch off the electrical item providing the information forthwith. Is it really 2006? Did Svenn lead us to the promised land? Why is Sepp so keen to shield us from this info? It’s as if he was jealous of England winning the cup. I remember seeing a tickertape parade on TV for the England team but didn’t recognise any of the players. It is so confusing.

Dr Frankshurer told me to seek refuge in the sanctuary of old friends. I looked back on my football career and thought about who to look up. I concluded the best place to start was with my good buddy Saddam Hussain.
Regular readers of my bulletin will recall that I once had a spell as manager of the Iraqi national football side, but Saddam informed me that regrettably he had to sack me as I was simply too brutal on the players for his liking. However we remained on friendly terms so I felt surprised when I called his number at his Palace and heard a young US marine-style voice pick up the phone and bellow

“Hello. This is Private 26548 DC McLoughlin answering the phone sir!”.

When I asked if Saddam was in I was met with a barrage of expletives and warned to ‘stop taking the goddam p**s’. So I’m a little confused there, as generally Saddam didn’t care much for Americans.

Dr Frankshurer told me that I need to perhaps get back into the previous line of work I was in before becoming a member of the cult. Thanks to his revolutionary hypnotherapy techniques he was able to ascertain I was an extremely successful football manager at Manchester City. So as City seem to be sliding down the table I decided to go knock on the Chairman’s door and make him aware that when the time was right for Kevin Keegan to walk out I was ready to re-fill the breech.

I entered City’s impressive new stadium and walked down the imposing corridors to a door marked ‘Chairman’ and nervously tapped on the door. Upon the shout ‘enter!’ I walked in and noticed the chairman sat on a leather swivel chair, his back to me. He instantly swivelled round and I was alarmed to see the chairman of Manchester City was Roger De Courcey. Or it could have been Nookie Bear, who was perched upon Roger’s knee, mad eyes swivelling in all directions. Roger noticed my surprise.

“Where have you been Harry? Have you forgotten about City’s virtual reality TV show, where a celebrity guest is named chairman of City for a month, to see how they cope with the mental anguish and the punishing demands made on the body in the face of intolerable stress levels?”

“He’s a pillock!”

chipped in Nookie.

“Well,”

I countered,

“I was wondering if I could have my old job back? Surely Keegan will be out soon?”

“Told you he’s a pillock!”

Once again Nookie responded.

“Now, Nookie, Harry is a guest, and he’s not been very well. Don’t you understand Harry? Kevin’s doing the job expected of all City managers. Drama! Excitement! Nail biting tension! As soon as we realised we couldn’t keep up with the big 3 we instructed Kevin to create some interest. We don’t have mid-table mediocrity here – The fans wouldn’t stand for it. They much prefer a good old fashioned relegation battle with plenty of booing and a good old fashioned demonstration after the game.”

“Why are you bothering? This man is a pillock!”

Nookies eyes spun crazily.

So I’m back, ready and able to run a football club! Chairmen, if you are reading this – I’m your man!

See you again soon

Harold Flatcap esq

Harry Flatcap was pouring his heart out to Steve Heald.

by : Colin Illingworth

Martin Tyler: Welcome to Premiership Managers Brawl, live from St Andrews in Birmingham, and this competition is getting hotter than a blazing inferno. Last week Sir Alex Ferguson destroyed his bitter archrival Gerard Houllier in a pulsating encounter that had everything but tonight’s brawl is set to top even that as the pride of Birmingham is up for grabs when Birmingham’s Steve Bruce gets to grip with his Villa counterpart David O’Leary. With me as always is the legendary Andy Gray who of course used to ply his trade for Villa.
Andy Gray: Hello fight fans. Well it’s true what they say, if you want to see a good fight then get down to Birmingham. There’s no secret that these two parties despise each other, so what better way to see who’s the City’s top dog than for Bruce and O’Leary to step into the squared circle for a blood filled fight to the death!
Martin: They could always have some sort of…
Andy: No Martin, believe me, there’s no better way of settling your differences than this.
Martin: But…
Andy: No butts, this is the way it’s going to be. Bruce V O’Leary, in that very ring … tonight!
The partisan St Andrews faithful go absolutely ballistic as the anticipation grows to fever pitch.
Martin: This brawl has been the talk of the Country’s second biggest City and we sent our intrepid reporter Chris Kamara out on to the streets of Birmingham to gauge the public’s opinion on tonight’s massive clash.
Chris: Here I am in the heart of Birmingham and as you can see the streets are awash with blue and white shirts. Lets see what they think tonight’s outcome will be?
Kamara picks on some poor unsuspecting fool.
Chris: Hello mate, Chris Kamara here reporting for the Premiership Managers Brawl on squarefootball.net tv, I was wondering who you think will reign supreme tonight between Steve Bruce and David O’Leary?
Birmingham fan 1: (Broad Brummie accent) Well I think Bruce is going to win because he has everything in his arsenal. The experience of serving under fiery Ferguson and his defensive abilities are there for everybody to see. He’ll deflect everything that O’Leary throws at him, hitting on the counter attack, and eventually killing the Villa scum.
Chris: And what about you mate?
Birmingham fan 2: (Another broad Brummie accent) I agree with him. If O’Leary wins it will be a dark day in the history of this City. Come on Steve, do it for Birmingham!
Chris then reports from another area flooded with claret and blue shirts.
Chris: What do you think the outcome will be tonight?
Villa fan 1: (Broad Birmingham accent) O’Leary’s going to win, obviously. He’s got the attacking skills that the other half of this City could only dream of. He’s a shrewd manager and I’m sure he has a master plan to make sure that Bruce leaves the building in a body bag.
Villa fan 2: (Broad Birmingham accent) The filthy Blues may have home advantage but O’Leary’s at his best when his back is against the wall. O’Leary and Villa to the end!
Chris: Well there’s a sample of views from the fans in and around St Andrews. Back to you at ringside.
Martin: When this brawl was first announced I really feared for O’Leary. Villa were near the bottom of the table and the fans were on his back but recently they’ve picked up considerably and now find themselves in the top half of the table. Meanwhile, across the City, the tide has somewhat turned as Birmingham have fallen down the league somewhat.
Andy: I think on recent form O’Leary and Villa would be booking their place into the quarterfinals but this is a one off fight and it’s all about what happens tonight.
Martin: Well the big fight’s just moments away so let’s get the latest betting odds.
Andy: As you can imagine the bookies have taken a shed load of cash on this bout and not surprisingly the bookies can’t separate them, both managers at Evens. However if you’ve got more money than sense, and want a daft little flutter, then this is the place to be. If you’ve a feeling that the clubs biggest fans Jasper Carrott and Nigel Kennedy will get involved you’ll get odds of 1/16. At 1/25 you’ll get odds of Karen Brady running down to ringside but if you think tonight is the perfect opportunity for former Leeds Chairman Peter Ridsdale to get revenge on his former manager you’ll get odds of 1/33.
Martin: All of those bets seem quite plausible.
Andy: I know I’ve gone for all of them in a treble so if they do all come true I’ll pocket £15,000.
Martin: I hope you’ll split it with me?
Andy: Anymore talk like that and you’ll be walking out of here with three shoes.
Martin: Three shoes?
Andy: Yeah, two on your feet and one up your…
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has come to introduce tonight’s competitors.
The noise levels inside St Andrews becomes deafening.

by : Antony Melvin

The secret diary of the man who gets things done.

MONDAY

Arsenal are still keen on Angel at Villa. Decided to stop that particular one with a ridiculous £20m price tag (Mirror), after reaching a deal that will see Angel become the new face for Pukka pies in the west Midlands area. And I can also reveal that the rumour surrounding John Hartsons return to the capital with Fulham (Mail) is not unconnected with another food deal. The Fulham firefighters fun Friday fry-up (the 5F) needed relaunching and I think John has the gravitas - but he needs a London base for this kind of deal.

After Michael Owen made a complete Forlan from 3 yards I quickly put out a press release (back-dating it to before the kick-off - that'll put them off the scent) saying that Michael was thinking of re-signing (Star). Well we'd done the 'questioning the ambition of the club' bit and flogged out the 'niggling injury' routine so we really needed to remind everyone that Michael still existed! But after a re-think we are torn between ‘I never said I wanted to leave’ or 'leaving contract negotiations until after the season' as a way forward.

TUESDAY
Nicky Butt wants to leave Old Trafford (BBC), which comes as no surprise to anyone. I mean being an understudy to a Neville is bound to wind you up (ask Danny Mills). But as to suitors I think that Tottenham are the best option, no competition for a place, high profile, low expectations. Pele's quote from the World Cup of 'I like butt' was widely misinterpreted, but should ease Nicky's move to north London.

Discussed the situation with Henrik Larsson and flew a kite about him going to Barcelona (Sun). This is agitator short-hand for 'he wants to play somewhere warm and spend some time on the beach'. So Newcastle does not qualify. Had a chat with Roman and I can confirm that there will be movement soon - ex-lax is an important addition to every billionaires medicine cabinet. As for him wanting to sign a cheque/Czech/Cech (Express) - whatever.

WEDNESDAY
Contract negotiations for big Emile at Liverpool were going slowly so we thought we’d give it a bit of a push and make the obvious link to ‘0 shots on target’ Middlesbrough (Mail) and a less obvious link to AC Milan (Times). Somewhat disconcertingly Liverpool seem interested. If we can stall the Saha transfer long enough we can double-bluff Liverpool by suggesting a Man Utd interest. On the basis that if they want him …

Chelsea were a bit concerned that their third place was under threat so a second day of undermining fourth placed Charlton’s best player Scott Parker was in order. But offering Joe Cole in exchange (Sun) doesn’t seem to be working. Perhaps we’d better look at stronger rumours of a move for the manager to truly unsettle them.

THURSDAY
Operation upset Man Utd has resumed today, after our suggestions that they were about to lose all their transfer targets in one black Thursday! So Chelsea are now favourites to land Saha for £18m (Mirror/Star/Telegraph), Arsenal will land Defoe for £5m (Sun) and Chelsea will also bag Arjen Robben (Express) and Christian Vieri for £14m or £25m (Sun/Times/BBC). Largely quote-free stuff – for obvious reasons.

Yesterday’s links for big Emile didn’t exactly further his contract negotiation as Liverpool seemed a little over-eager to let him speak to Middlesbrough. So Emile has had to quickly restate his loyalty to the cause. Liverpool have waded in and knocked 5k a week off his new deal – some people will use any situation to their advantage. The morality of modern football is a crying shame. Discussed linking him with Everton as a final desperate fling. Or Barcelona. Or Tottenham. Or Celtic. Brainstorming session scheduled.

FRIDAY
Moved quickly to link Middlesbrough to another striker in this case Viduka for £6m (Sun) to try to ease the Heskey situation. Given that Man Utd are standing by this is not a viable option for too long. So with a little lateral thinking we quickly linked Alan Smith to Newcastle United for an affordable £2m (Sun), and wait for Middlesbrough to move for him. Once Liverpool accept that there is nowhere for Heskey to go we can make some progress on a new contract.

We have long wondered why Manchester United are so despised when they do such good charity work. Paying over the odds to keep some badly run clubs going, like the £30m the paid for Forgetful Ferdinand. Whilst offering England internationals in deals that pay for themselves. Madrid must have recouped the Beckham cost in shirt sales already, and if Newcastle are allowed to strengthen their midfield by getting Nicky Butt for £5m (Express) then surely Fergie has gone mad. And besides we’ve already agreed with TAG that he’s going to Spurs (BBC).

Weekend
Chamonix, ski-ing.

Antony Melvin was routing through the bins of the rich and powerful.

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks that Sam Allardyce has a nerve.

Those who read my rantings regularly will know that I am not the biggest fan of Bolton Wanderers manager Sam Allardyce. It was probably unfair to single him out in an article I wrote some months ago about bringing in foreign players on loan as a cheap option. However, it seems that this week 'Big Sam' has spent most of his time trying to get up my nose.

Firstly, he publicly criticised the appointment of Trevor Brooking in what was thought to be the role of FA Technical Director. Allardyce was outraged by the appointment, claiming that Brooking was not qualified to take on the job. Citing the fact that he and his fellow managers have to obtain qualifications before they take over at a club, he argued that Brooking also should be obliged to get himself qualified.

In 99% of all other industries I would whole-heartedly agree with Allardyce's position, but I think that the football industry is a different animal. Passing an FA coaching course does not necessarily make somebody a good football manager or coach, nor does failing to obtain such qualifications necessarily make somebody incapable. The previous incumbent of the position of FA Technical Director was Howard Wilkinson. Wilkinson was fully qualified for the job, having passed all of the required exams and followed all of the required courses. Still, most fans within the game were uncomfortable with his role having seen the way some of his teams had played the game previously. When he re-emerged in club management at Sunderland Wilkinson was unsuccessful. You can draw your own conclusions from this, but I would suggest that it is philosophy rather than certificates that is the most important factor in overseeing the development of footballers.

Brooking is a man with years of playing experience, achieving standards that an old school hacker like Mr Allardyce could only dream of. This in itself should be worth something, and should prove that Brooking does indeed have something to offer the game on the technical side of things. In addition to this he has a lot of administrative experience having served on the board of Sport England for many years also. He may or may not be the right man to ensure England produces the star players it needs in the future, but to dismiss him because he doesn't have a piece of paper that says he knows how many men to put in his own penalty area at a corner is pure folly. Brooking answered the criticism by suggesting that he would not be in sole charge of the technical development of English players, and that he would be assisted in that area by another fully qualified FA man, Les Reed. Whether this diffuses the situation remains to be seen, but it is whether or not England produces more Danny Mills than David Beckham's in the future that should be of most concern.

Not content with trying to rock Brooking's boat, Allardyce then surpassed himself with his utter disregard and disdain for the FA Cup on Tuesday evening. With a cushy looking tie at Luton in round four awaiting them, his Bolton Wanderers hosted second division Tranmere Rovers in a third round replay. Scandalously, Allardyce made ten changes to the team that had beaten Blackburn Rovers so thrillingly in the Premiership only days before. Whether or not Allardyce took Rovers too lightly only he will know, but his makeshift side spent much of the game trailing 1-0 before seemingly rescuing themselves with a late equaliser. However, it was a brief reprieve as Tranmere scored again in extra time to secure the win.

The following day Allardyce suggested that it was a good thing that Bolton Wanderers were out of the FA Cup. The idea that a team steeped in FA Cup tradition should enjoy being unceremoniously dumped out of the greatest knockout football tournament in the world by a team two leagues below them is frankly unpalatable. Yes, we live in an era when Premiership survival is vital to club's like Bolton if they are to keep themselves on a safe financial footing, but the FA Cup, aside from all of its traditions and the sheer magic of it all, represents another opportunity for the loyal Wanderers fans to see their team pick up some silverware. Perhaps Allardyce would have been more disappointed with the result had his team not already reached the semi finals of the League Cup, but it is still galling to see the FA Cup treated as nothing more than an irritating distraction by a top-flight team.

Still, I bet the Tranmere Rovers and Luton Town fans were pleased. Rant over.

by : Chris Owens

Chris Owens has his doubts about the wisdom of Manchester City signing David James.

It's a pity Neil Ruddock has agreed to take part in a jaunt to the jungle for the next series of 'I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here!', as rumour has it that he was next on the Kevin Keegan hit-list. Seeing as David James is set to join Steve McManaman and Robbie Fowler at the Blue Camp, it surely can't be long before the rest of Roy Evans' Liverpool 'Spice Boys' of the mid'90s turn up at Manchester City with their infamous cream suits!

Seriously though, at face value the replacement of the retired former England international goalkeeper David Seaman with the current England international goalkeeper, the aforementioned David James, seems good business for everyone. City get an experienced solution to their keeping crisis, whilst both James and Sven Goran Eriksson must be delighted with the England No.1 moving back to the Premiership before Euro 2004. Even West Ham could reinvest the money wisely into their pursuit of a swift return to the top flight. But as with most things Kevin Keegan does, it is a gamble, and a gamble that could spectacularly backfire.

At the moment City are in danger of entering a crisis. Early season talk of possible Champions League qualification seems a world away from a possible relegation dogfight. Pre-season signings of 'old heads' such as Seaman, Bosvelt, Sinclair, Reyna and McManaman were meant to improve on last season's promising top-flight renaissance. But lately the talk has been of dressing room splits and players not pulling their weight. James may be the kind of strong character needed to improve the dressing room atmosphere, but evidence from his time at Liverpool, West Ham and England shows this may not be the case.

According to people within football, David James has all the attributes needed to become a top class keeper. He strikes an intimidating figure, he's got excellent agility and athleticism. But despite his long career and numerous clubs, he continues to have an erratic style. Whether it's misjudging a cross into the penalty area or mis-kicking backpasses, he is still prone to lapses in concentration as his performances at West Ham continue to demonstrate.

With City's defensive problems persisting, is James really the secure, composed and calming influence that is necessary? Whilst he had a growing army of critics towards the latter period of his career, if David Seaman had one quality it would be his temperament. But even the unflappable veteran couldn't help eradicate kamikaze defending from Sommeil, Sun Ji Hai and company. On the evidence of a West Ham defence with a similarly suicidal disposition - Thomas Repka anyone? - David James is not the man to organise a unit to stop shipping goals.

From a financial perspective, this may not be a sensible move for City either. Although a long way from the monetary meltdown at Elland Road, there have significant debts rumoured to be anything up to £50million. Is a reported £2million transfer fee, plus substantial wages, good business for a man well into his 30s?

Although in desperate need for a goalkeeper, perhaps Keegan has rushed into this move. Who knows, in a week Paul Robinson may be available for roughly the same price as paid for James if the Arabian Sheikh doesn't shake himself into action with a rescue package for Leeds. Promising goalkeepers such as Robert Green of Norwich would surely be a more long-term solution. And if City really needed a short-term solution, a cheaper and arguably better option would be Southampton's Wales international Paul Jones, who although on loan at Liverpool would be available before the window closes.

by : Stephen Orford

Group C: CAMEROON, ALGERIA, EGYPT, ZIMBABWE

Defending champions Cameroon have won the last two finals in the competition on penalties and will again go into the tournament among the favourites. There will be an obvious desire within the squad to make it a hat-trick of titles in honour of the late Marc-Vivien Foe. They are currently the highest ranked African nation in FIFA’s world rankings, standing at 14 and have proved consistent performers on the world stage, only losing to France to a Golden Goal in last summer’s Confederation Cup final. They defend their title with an experienced squad, although one that is possibly a little over-reliant on Samuel Eto’o going forward.

The bulk of the Algerian squad plies its trade in Western Europe, although they lack any star names. They have already benefited from the new FIFA nationality ruling, with Antar Yahia, Samir Beloufa and Ouadah Abdelnasser all receiving clearance to play. The fact that all three go into the finals without an international cap to their name could present problems in how coach Rabah Sadane's will gel as a unit.

The Egyptians are currently the second highest ranked African nation in FIFA’s list. Their main hopes would seem to lie with the volatile Ahmed “Mido” Hossam in attack and the midfielder Ahmed Hassan. Veteran captain Hany Ramzy misses out through injury, which could prove a significant blow. The bulk of the squad is domestically based, with Zamalek providing the core of coach Mohsen Saleh’s team.

Zimbabwe only qualified as the best group runners-up in qualifying. The squad is largely made up of home-based players, although their main hopes will rest on Auxerre striker Benjamin Mwaruwaru and Sheffield United veteran Peter Ndlovu. Their preparations haven’t been helped in being held to a recent 0:0 draw in Harare by what turned out to be a “fake” El Salvador team that had been hastily cobbled together by Zimbabwe’s Italian shirt sponsors.

Group D: NIGERIA, MOROCCO, SOUTH AFRICA, BENIN

Many will be backing Nigeria, but their build up to the tournament behind the scenes has been no more professional than usual, with the Nigerian Sports Minister Mohammed Musa admitting interfering in the FA’s affairs. It’s also worth remembering that the FA made an aborted attempt to recruit the abject managerial skills of Bryan Robson, which speaks volumes. There are major doubts over the ability of coach Christian Chukwu and, for all their attacking prowess, the defence is far from secure. They are also in the toughest looking group in the tournament, with Morocco and South Africa providing stern opposition. Obafemi Martins has withdrawn from the squad to concentrate on his club career, although whether this is his own decision is open to question?

With the finals being held in north African rivals Tunisia, Morocco will be determined to go well. Their cause certainly wasn’t aided by their being drawn in the “Group of Death”, but they did qualify without conceding a single goal. Key player is likely to be Deportivo La Coruna’s veteran defender Noureddine Naybet.

South Africa probably hasn’t progressed in recent years as many would have anticipated, but they will did at least qualify for the finals ahead of the fancied Ivory Coast. They have certainly been hit harder than most with withdrawals, injuries and premature retirements, with Steven Pienaar, Mark Fish, Quinton Fortune, Benni McCarthy, Lucas Radebe, Hans Vonk and Shaun Bartlett all missing for one reason or another. In addition their coach, Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba, has been suspended by the FA barely two weeks prior to the finals for failure to carry out his duties to a satisfactory level.

Benin caused something of an upset in qualifying at the expense of Zambia, beating them 3:0 in their final game. The best hope of “the Squirrels” pulling off a surprise result or two in their first-ever appearance at a major finals probably rest with Guingamp striker Oumar Tchomogo.

It’s always risky assessing the latter stages of tournaments, given that one rogue result in a group game can change everything. But, looking at the draw, the quarter-finals could well line up as follows:

TUNISIA V MALI
SENEGAL V GUINEA
CAMEROON V NIGERIA
MOROCCO V EGYPT

Even allowing for the calibre of those likely to figure in the latter stages, Cameroon could have the competitive nous and organisation to go all the way to another final. The other finalist may well come from the north, with Egypt looking the most formidable of the teams from the region. While opting for Cameroon to make it a hat-trick of wins, the Pharaohs could well be capable of pushing them all the way to yet another shoot-out.
Stephen Orford pays tribute to David Seaman.

After a long and illustrious career David Seaman announced his retirement on Tuesday night. Manchester City have already lined up David James as his replacement but it is for his tenure as the custodian for Arsenal and England that the Yorkshireman will be remembered.

Seaman won 75 caps in a wonderful England career and can rightly count himself up among the greatest ever England goalkeepers. His exit from the game, although inevitable at the age of 40, leaves a big void in terms of truly world class English 'keepers. Fifteen or twenty years ago there were probably five Englishmen among the top ten goalkeepers in the world, but the influx of foreign talent has seen English shot-stoppers fall behind on the world stage. While a capable and often spectacular shot-stopper, even James has question marks over his consistency.

Indeed, the latter part of Seaman's career was blighted with the sort of howlers that one would normally expect from James. Few will ever forget the audacious cross-cum-shot from Ronaldinho which knocked England out of the 2002 World Cup, or the goal Seaman conceded direct from a corner in a Euro 2004 Qualifier at Southampton. However, these mistakes came when Seaman's skills were very much on the wane. At the peak of his powers througout the 1990's David Seaman's mistakes were as rare as Ade Akinbiyi's Premiership goals. Pre-pony-tail, Seaman was vital as the last line of the famously miserly Arsenal defence under George Graham, and could also be found regularly performing heroics in an England shirt. Who could forget his penalty save against Scotland from Gary McAllister at Euro 96? Or another breathtaking penalty save from Miguel Nadal in a shoot-out against Spain in the same competition? Seaman's career has been littered with such miraculous exploits, but is was perhaps his no-nonsense style and the way he made his job look so easy that was most impressive.

Even after his hairdressing nightmares set in, Seaman still managed to keep goal for both Arsenal and England with great distinction, helping the Gunners to league and cup doubles in 1998 and 2002. With England, he remained his country's number one goalkeeper until the latter part of 2002 when he was aged 39. Seaman was not only a goalkeeper of great agility and poise, but also evidently one of great longevity. His last trophy success in English football was last year's FA Cup when he helped keep Southampton at bay in a 1-0 victory for the Gooners. It was his fourth FA Cup winners medal, and would not have been possible where it not for a miraculous save against Sheffield United in the semi-final. Written off by most at that point in his career, Seaman produced one of the greatest saves of his life to ensure another final appearance.

Discarded by Arsenal at the end of the 2002/3 season Seaman moved on to Manchester City for one more crack at the big time. Many have argued that this was a mistake, and that he should have retired at that time to take up a coaching position at Highbury. The competetive nature of Seaman gave him other ideas and he chose to take up a one year deal at City. Despite fleeting glimpses of his former brilliance the doubters were again out in force, as City's unreliable back-line at times made Seaman look like a man who had gone on one year too long. Finally, after picking up a shoulder injury in Saturday's 4-2 reverse at Portsmouth Seaman succumbed to the pressure being placed on his ageing body and announced his retirement.

I cannot deny that this writer was among those who felt that Seaman had gone on too long when he took up the option of a year with Manchester City. Even after his performances at the 2002 World Cup I was convinced that he would damage his reputation by continuing. Now, after the announcement of the end of his career he will hopefully be remembered as a legend among not only English goalkeepers but those throughout the world.

Fans of Arsenal and England won't need persuading.

by : David Hulott

David Hulott runs the rule over the 16 nations competing for the African Nations Cup.

It may not meet with the approval of Messrs Pleat, Allardyce and countless other club coaches throughout Europe, but the African Nations Cup kicks-off in Tunisia on January 24. This year’s competition looks to be the strongest yet, with the gulf in class between the traditional giants of African football and the rest closing all the time. The ever increasing numbers of African players plying their trade in Europe, with the French and Belgian leagues being particularly popular destinations, and the recent FIFA ruling over nationality have both helped to boost the standard of the finalists this year.

Among the pre-tournament favourites will be the current holders, Cameroon, while Nigeria, Senegal, Egypt and the host nation will also have their backers. Making their debut at the finals will be Benin, Rwanda and Zimbabwe, although it seems unlikely that any of them will progress beyond the group stage.

The last finals in Mali were somewhat disappointing, with goals in very short supply. With the levelling in standards throughout the continent, games are again expected to be tight this time, but hopefully with a little more emphasis on testing the goalkeepers.

As seems obligatory with African football, the build up to the finals has been beset by internal disputes, managerial changes, financial mismanagement and all manner of administrative problems. This could particularly hamper the hopes of Nigeria and South Africa, although in the case of the former this is very much the norm anyway.

Group A: TUNISIA, RWANDA, GUINEA, DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO

Much will be expected of Tunisia as hosts, especially with former France national coach Roger Lemerre at the helm. They will be boosted by the decision of Brazilian-born Sochaux striker Francileudo Santos to commit his international future to the country where he established himself, prior to making his name in France.

If the Football Federation is capable of dealing with the administrative and organisational side of things without interference from the national Government, Guinea could prove to be lively outsiders. They have a particularly potent looking strikeforce, in the form of Souleymane Youla (the Genclerbirligi striker who caused Blackburn Rovers so many problems in the UEFA Cup earlier this season), Aboubacar Titi Camara (yes, the former Anfield "favourite") and Pascal Feindouno. They can also call upon the Celtic’s Bobo Balde, although team-mate Momo Sylla has withdrawn for personal reasons.

The Democratic Republic of Congo will have a certain amount of interest from Blighty as a result of having former Huddersfield Town boss Mick Wadsworth coaching the side. They will badly miss Shabani Nonda, Monaco’s injured striker, but can call upon Newcastle United’s Lomana Tresor LuaLua. The omens don’t look too promising in that they failed to win any games away from Kinshasa in qualifying for the finals.

Rwanda caused one of the major upsets in qualifying for the finals at the expense of Ghana, even allowing for the perennial underachievement of the latter. In what will be their first appearance in the finals, they will kick-off the opening game of the tournament against the host nation. They will have high hopes of 21-year old striker Jean Lomani, current leading scorer in the Zambian league. Can also count on the passionate and financial support of Rwandan president Paul Kagame.

Group B: SENEGAL, MALI, KENYA, BURKINA FASO

Having established themselves as a major force in world football over the last few years, Senegal are again expected to be strong contenders. They have a number of quality players plying their trade in the major European leagues, although few of them have lived up to expectations since World Cup 2002. New coach Guy Stephan will be under pressure in following the popular Bruno Metsu.

Mali reached the semi-finals when hosting the tournament last time and could go well again. While the long-running saga over Frederic Kanoute’s availability threatened to derail their preparations somewhat, the squad contains plenty of other fine players in the likes of Mahamdou Diarra, Seydou Keita, Mamadou Bagayoko and Mohamed Sissoko. They will also be facing group rivals Senegal in the qualifiers for World Cup 2006, so the game between the two here will have extra significance.

Kenya’s very presence at the finals was still in doubt until President Mwai Kibaki promised the FA that his Government would supply funds to enable the squad to travel to Tunisia. Their cause isn’t helped in having two domestic leagues running parallel as a result of infighting at the national football federation. Having secured the necessary Kenyan shillings to participate, their hopes will largely rest on 19-year old Qatar-based striker Denis Oliech.

Burkina Faso has a sprinkling of European-based talent, although injury has ruled out probably their most widely recognised player in Freiburg striker Wilfried Sanou. They have now established themselves as a force on the continent, with this being their fifth consecutive appearance in the finals. Much could depend on striker Moumouni Dagano, hat-trick hero in Guingamp's 3:2 win over Strasbourg in his last game for his French club side prior to the finals.

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford goes through the candidates for the signature of Nicky Butt.

For some team sportsmen and women it is enough to merely be associated with a successful club or team. What could be easier than turning up for training for a couple of hours each morning, and then sitting down with your feet up at the weekend while your all-conquering colleagues battle it out for supremacy against cheeky upstart pretenders to the throne? Throw in a huge salary and you would think that this sort of lifestyle would suit perfectly.

Not Nicky Butt, it seems. The Manchester United midfielder is on the verge of another massive pay day as he approaches his testimonial year at Old Trafford. Yet, he shocked everyone this week with the revelation that he has handed in a transfer request to the club. Sir Alex Ferguson, usually the man to decide who goes and when they leave his evil empire, has accepted this request but called it "a very sad situation". Sad indeed, but the England midfielder seems determined to move on to secure regular first team football.

A product of the same youth system that produced the likes of Giggs, Beckham, Scholes and the Neville brothers, Butt has fallen behind in the Manchester United midfield pecking order, despite the much publicised sales of Beckham and Juan Sebastian Veron. Staggeringly, it is Phil Neville who currently keeps Butt out of the loop, and with others like Kleberson and Ronaldo arriving at the club it seems that only Eric Djemba Djemba finds himself more disadvantaged than Butt. Everybody knows that Djemba Djemba is so good they named him twice, but Nicky Butt has plenty of admirers too. Pele picked him out as one of the best players at the 2002 World Cup, and the man whose opinion matters most when it comes to England, manager Sven Goran Eriksson, seems impressed also, despite Butt's limited club opportunities.

Butt's availability is bound to attract the attention of a whole host of Premiership clubs. An early candidate according to some media sources was Chelsea. Pardon me for being a bit thick, but wouldn't a man who is leaving his beloved club for the sake of his first team opportunities be committed to an asylum for joining Chelsea? The Stamford Bridge club have a midfield corps that is more crowded than the road to a Robbie Williams concert, and would hardly be able to guarantee Butt a regular place. Of course, a player of such distinction will not want to fall too far down the league ladder when looking for a new challenge. Still awaiting his 29th birthday, Butt is arguably at his peak and will want to join an ambitious club that can give him the opportunity to add to his already gigantic medal collection.

Newcastle United are more like my idea of a genuine contender for his signature. Enduring an up and down season so far, the Toon Army would surely welcome a little bit of steel to their often over-run midfield. While it is true that they have a great prospect in that area in Jermaine Jenas, a player of Butt's experience might be just what they need at this point. This experience would also prove invaluable to the football education of young men like Jenas, along with Keiron Dyer and company.

I think we can discount Liverpool. I have already fired out a memo to the Prime Minister pleading with him to introduce some sort of legislation to stop Monsieur Houllier from wasting any more of the club's money, and it is a rare event indeed to see a player make the switch from Old Trafford to Anfield. Even His Royal Cockiness, Big Time Charlie in-Chief Paul Ince had to use the road to Milan to travel the 30 or so miles down the M62. He was rightly vilified for his emergence at Anfield by his old fans in Manchester, and his performances on the field failed to emulate those of his early days at United. Once bitten, twice shy.

How about a move to the other side of Stanley Park? It looks unlikely. With the allegedly reborn Blues flapping about like a drowning man at the wrong end of the league table, they would hardly be a mouth-watering prospect for a man of Butt's standing in the game. It is far more possible that Butt could be used as a sweetener in a deal to bring Louis Saha to Manchester, or that a club like Tottenham or Birmingham could convince him that he is the missing piece in their jigsaw. The Old Trafford club have already denied that a swap deal with Middlesbrough is on the cards, the idea being for Gareth Southgate to go to United to fill the void about to be left by Rio Ferdinand.

Whoever signs him will be getting a player of proven quality and experience. I have got to go now. I have just heard that Middlesbrough are also in talks to sign Emile Heskey from Liverpool, and there's a man at the door with the Champagne that I ordered.

by : Alex Wolstenholme

Alex Wolstenholme looks back at the short time Gary McAllister was at Coventry City.

As a manager, the jury is still out on Gary McAllister but Coventry fans will retain their respect for the man for a number of reasons as he leaves Highfield Road on a permanent basis to care for his seriously ill wife.

Firstly, McAllister took the job at all. Given the option of another year on his Liverpool contract with European football and all that or taking on a first division club, sixty million in debt, with no ground to call their own and the certainty of having to sell players most people would have chosen the former. To his credit, McAllister took on the challenge and made it doubly hard for himself by continuing as a player.

Players were duly sold. Magnus Hedman, David Thompson and Lee Hughes departed, to be replaced by free transfers and loan signings. Initially it worked ok and City were in the play offs going into 2003. Things went downhill from then with only league win until the end of the season.

The financial situation didn’t help but players were chopped and changed with alarming regularity and a settled team and tactics were reserved for other teams. Despite this McAllister retained the support of the fans who gave him a standing ovation after the final home game of the season against Gillingham.

Over summer, with the high earners off the payroll, McAllister brought in a number of new players (again on free transfers). And the club are making progress, albeit painfully slowly. Building work on a new stadium is underway, the debt has been reduced and the team is trying to play decent football although a chronic lack of firepower is keeping them in the bottom half of the table.

Having had one spell of compassionate leave, McAllister came back to lead the team again and even managed to put in his best performance of the season as a player when he scored in the televised game against Sunderland. His farewell upon being substituted hinted at a departure and it duly came a few days later, temporary at first but now made permanent.

There are plenty more things in life more important in football and no one can criticise McAllister’s decision in any way. Coming back to the club after six months, a year or even more would have been difficult. The club itself needs to keep moving; new players are desperately needed and that has to be the preserve of the man in charge.

McAllister goes with the best wishes of not just Coventry fans but surely most football supporters up and down the country.

by : Red Kitching

Red Kitching gives his predictions for the drop.

The 2003-2004 season is shaping up nicely and most teams in the premiership have something to play for other than just bobbing along on a wave of mid-table mediocrity. The biggest drama and most of the interest is looking towards to the foot of the table to see who is doomed and who is looking like they will be dining at the top table for another season.

Here is an assessment of the teams involved and what might happen to them in the second half of the season:-

DEEP TROUBLE!

Wolverhampton Wanderers
After a shocking start to the season, they have shown consistency at home. They quickly need to turn draws into wins at home and start to turn defeats into draws away. A serious lack of goals and (old) age of their team means that they will probably be falling through the trapdoor come May.

Leeds Utd
What else can be said about Leeds? I really fear for the existence of the club as if they do not go into administration on 19th January, they are destined to be forced down that road if they go down. That is looking increasingly likely too as vultures circle the club looking to feed off the bones of the team and take away the best players. Look certainties to go down as well.

NEEDING TO WORK HARD

Leicester City
The team that specializes in throwing away leads. A trait they may well live to regret. They have been scoring plenty of goals this season, which is a key area in the battle for survival. They show battling qualities as well, but the lack of premiership class players may leave them with too much to do.

Portsmouth
Had a great start to the season but have struggled ever since. The loss of form of Sheringham and the loss of Yakubu to the African Nations Cup means is almost insignificant in relation to the injuries in the squad. Harry will have to do some serious wheeling and dealing to get his club to safety.

LOOKING OVER THEIR SHOULDERS

Tottenham
The Fredi Kanoute situation could not have come at a worse time for Spurs. They will miss the goals the big Frenchman-Malian-Martian (or whatever nationality he pretends to be this week) provides. They should have enough quality to get by, but if they don’t get another source of goals in his absence to help out Robbie Keane, they may come too close for comfort.

Blackburn
I bet they wish they had stuck with what they had in the summer and not sold both Duff and Dunn, but that was then and this is now. With little money to replace the midfield walking wounded, they need some perspiration and inspiration added in the centre of the park. The recent goals from Cole and Yorke will be welcome and if they can find some consistency, the comfort zone beckons.

Manchester City
A team in crisis. Haven’t won since the last King died, struggling at the back and rumours of discontent in the dressing room, has Kevin Keegan’s time come to an end? I think this could be the time that the City board should stick, rather than twist, and keep Keegan through to the end of the season. The advent good weather in the spring should see them start to pick up the points that will see them in a healthy position.

Middlesbrough
Don’t score. Don’t concede. One of the best defences in the league should see them through to safety. Any injury to Gareth Southgate could see them shockingly relegated. An investment in a striker would probably guarantee them a decent finish.

So, who will finish in the bottom three? My crystal ball tells me it will be the following:-

Leeds
Wolverhampton
Portsmouth

by : Alex Wolstenholme

Alex Wolstenholme wants to applaud Paul Durkin.

Following on from Paul Durkin’s appearance before the Sky cameras to explain his decisions in the Manchester United versus Newcastle game, the Premier League should make it compulsory for all referees to do the same after each game.

Durkin was honest in his assessment of the two major decisions he made, saying he didn’t see the contact between Tim Howard and Alan Shearer and that Mikael Silvestre’s goal was ruled out as he thought the player had manhandled his way past the Newcastle defender.

In doing so, Durkin drew the fire of both managers when they were questioned about the incidents. They may have disagreed with the decisions but, presented with the facts they weren’t able to do what many managers do and portray the ref as being biased or uncommunicative or inconsistent or whatever.

If the referee had hidden away, the penalty that wasn’t given would have been presented as another example of bias towards Manchester United and the standing of referees would have taken another blow. And calls for video replays to be used in such situations are misleading as a decision such as that one is still down to opinions. Durkin viewed the replays and said that if he had seen it from that angle he would have given. Who is to say though that another referee would?

Durkin’s honesty also undermined Alex Ferguson’s claim that he had disallowed the Man Utd `goal` to even things up which is strange as the referee only realised his mistake after the match.

Managers ask for two things from referees, common sense and consistency without seeming to realise that in applying common sense they can’t always be consistent. Durkin applied common sense to the penalty decision but if there had been a similar incident later on that he had seen fully he would have had to give a penalty. Common sense but not consistent.

Referees have to make subjective decisions throughout a match and they are bound to make mistakes. As a Coventry fan I’ve witnessed countless baffling decisions, inconsistent performances and off days over the years but they have been from the (professional) players! Expecting any different from a referee is crazy. All that we can ask is that they explain why they did what they did and full marks to Paul Durkin for doing so.

by : Scott Stephens

Next we have Bolton, Everton, and Spurs. This trio of teams are interestingly poised together as we enter the second half of the season. With a bit of consistency and a little more luck with injuries I believe Bolton can push on and take a European spot. Sam Allardyce has worked a miracle at the club and for me is the best manager in the Premeirship. His method of obtaining and retaining players from all over the globe and then gelling the whole mix together is a wonderful example of a great modern day manager. Meanwhile Spurs have the quality and Everton the fight to ensure both should finish around the positions they are in now.

So what we have left are the clubs desperately hoping to avoid the drop.
I’m taking it for granted that Wolves have gone, and I expect Leeds to
follow. Without an influx of new players it’s hard to see how Dave Jones or
Eddie Gray can instil the consistent improvement needed to make up the gap
they have on the other candidates.

We’ve already analysed Man City – When you are regularly being turned over by the sides at the bottom – Conceding 4 goals to Pompey and 3 to Leicester at home demonstrates how dire City’s situation is.

Middlesbrough aren’t giving the goals away, but scoring is the name of the game in the Prem and with the worst scoring record in the division I expect Boro to have a nervy four months.

Blackburn are down with the dead men due to consistency – Losing to Bolton when 3-1 up yesterday merely demonstrates that. However I feel Souness will instil fight and come May Rovers will maintain the position in the Premiership.

Portsmouth and Leicester battled each other out to win Division 1 last season and both these sides will be slugging it out with each other to avoid the drop. The signing of Berkovic, who will be a perfect foil to feed a willing runner like Yakubu could be the masterstroke for Harry Redknapp. Portsmouth need to hope Yakubu won’t miss too many games due to African nations commitments. Leicester will grimly fight to the death.

So who will join Wolves and Leeds in the Nationwide next season? My belief is that it will be between the 3 Citys – Birmingham, Manchester, and Leicester, who will be heading through the drop zone. I will take Leicester, but it’s going to be a hard struggle for so many sides this Spring.Scott Stephens wants to tell everyone about the day he met Mrs Toure.

As a matchday seller of Arsenal Fanzines The Gooner and Highbury High, you get to meet all the stars! Well not exactly, but Trevor Brooking is a regular customer of mine, as is 'Gus' from EastEnders. Not to mention the time when a sidelined Pascal Cygan bought a copy of 'The Gooner' from me at the beginning of last year. Along with his £2 he kindly gave me a spare ticket which I happily gave away to the Supporter's Club and which later transpired to have given a 7 year old his first chance to see a game at Highbury. Nice one Pascal!

However, nothing could quite prepare me for the day when I was approached by a very colourful and outrageous character, later revealed to be none other than Mrs. Kolo Toure!

Much like many other Arsenal fan, I strongly believe that Kolo Toure has been an absolutely amazing find. After playing a very bit-part role for the Gunners last season, I like many other Arsenal fans were not entirely sure of his potential or even what position he was most comfortable in! I was somewhat surprised when prior to Arsenal's two-nil home win against Borussia Dortmund in the Champion's League last season, Matias Sammer, stated that Toure had been on the wish list of many European managers in the summer.

However, this season he has been a defensive rock and an attacking dynamo; his recent goal against Leeds in the F.A Cup providing the icing on the cake of an amazing first half of the season for the 22 year old. Ten games into the season and Toure was fast becoming one of the first names on Monsieur Wenger's teamsheet and the talk of the North Bank. A very early tip for player of the season, Toure was setting the premiership alight; playing with a smile on his face and looking bitterly upset when things didn't go his way. He was very close indeed to reaching hero status with me!

Saturday the eighth of November; the big one (albeit not so big anymore!). Spurs at home and I had about twenty minutes more selling time before I could down tools (well, fanzines!) and take my seat in the lower West Stand. As any fanzine seller would know, the last twenty minutes before kick off are pretty frantic, as hoards spill out of the surrounding pubs and people in a rush wave £5 notes at you! The North London derby was a rather slower day though and I expected many to have entered the ground slightly earlier than usual. I continue to shout 'Get ya' Gooner, your latest issue' at which point a trolley suitcase parks at my feet.

‘I'll have the one with Kolo on the front’

Asks an attractive, very colourful young lady with a distinct French accent. She was referring to the Highbury High, which that month had Toure on the front cover. She frantically raided her bag for her purse, as all manner of objects were tossed aside; mobile phone, make-up bag and hairbrush!

'That's my husband!'

She said.

'Who is?'

I reply trying to reassuringly stall the other customers who were now queuing behind her!

'Kolo!'

She replies excitedly.

'Really?'

I exclaim as she shows me her wedding ring; a stunning diamond (Kolo; apparently a real lady's man!)

'Yes. We met in the Ivory Coast, where Kolo is from. We have been married two years now'

She tells me as still her face is buried in her bag, still frantically searching for her purse. She pulls out her match ticket which along the left hand side, duly reads, 'Mrs. Kolo Toure.' I'm blown away and by this time feel like buying the fanzine for her myself, at which point she whips out a £2 pound coin.

'Do you like him?'

She innocently asks.

‘I think he is absolutely fantastic!'

I reply, still quite shocked by the situation in hand.

'Please tell him that he is Arsenal's best player this season and that many people think that!'

She thanks me and shoves the fanzine in to her seemingly bottomless bag and heads off towards the Clock End.

I felt as if I had committed my good deed for that day by ensuring that Toure knew that we Arsenal fans think a lot of what he is doing this year and long may it continue. I was paid back for my good deed as we went on to beat our 'friends' from the other end of Seven Sister's Road 2-1 and Toure played a blinder!

by : Steve Heald

Steve Heald looks down from the Premiership.

Saturday 10th January 2004 could be perceived as a watershed in the 2003-4 premiership season. The view held all season that there is no gulf between the teams in the positions fourth to nineteenth in the top division has been widely quoted up to this weekend. A cursory glance at the table on the 11th January tells an interesting story. Cracks are appearing, teams are sailing off towards safety and a stab at the European places, whilst others are in for a long hard slog to avoid the dreaded drop, and the dismal repercussions this leads to in this very depressing era of football finance. The type that threatens to ruin the game for generations to come, perhaps irreparably.

Kevin Keegan, during his sides dismal run of 14 games in all competitions without a win, is the man with the biggest headache right now. He has continually pedalled the statistic that a couple of wins on the bounce would elevate his side from sinking relegation candidates into Champions League contenders. He needs to study the table after Manchester City lost the relegation crunch match with Portsmouth on Saturday.

When he does he will see that even relying on the teams around City losing, 2 wins will only raise his club into a mid-table position at best. City haven’t won 2 games on the bounce all season and if you subscribe to the view that many of City’s early season results were achieved on the back of immense good fortune you have a side that could have been sitting closer to Wolves than they do right now. For all the money spent by Keegan this is a scandalous situation.

Pundits say City have too many good players to go down, but didn’t they say that about West Ham last season? It boils down to desire, team work, and guts and this City side doesn’t have any.

Selling your best creative player, sorry, giving away your best creative player, Eyal Berkovic, to a relegation rival and allowing him to make an inspired debut against you seems to be utter insanity. Sure, Berkovic threw his dummy out of the pram in the summer and Keegan was right to show him who is the boss. However it was believed the pair had resolved their differences. So why didn’t Keegan pick him, irrespective of what he thought of him as a person? Madness.

I went on record as saying the Robbie Fowler deal was probably the arrangement that burst the Keegan bubble. In tandem I feel the handling of Berkovic may be viewed as another factor in Keegan ultimately failing at City.

Charlton, Southampton, and Fulham are three clubs I believe can happily wave the clubs below goodbye as they sail on towards European football or at worst Premiership safety.

It looks inevitable that Fulham will lose Saha to Man U because United have played the game and ensured the player knew about the opportunity to sign for United, thus destabilising Fulhams resolve in keeping their star striker. I believe this division is full of very poor sides, the difference in most of them being how easy they find it to score goals. With Saha gone the Fulham players should be able to get behind Chris Coleman and his wonderful start to life as Premier manager. However goals will be harder to come by and the second half of the season will not be as easy as the run they have had so far. I expect mid table safety.

Charlton continue to battle on efficiently and quietly produce the results. They will obtain European football and could push Newcastle/Liverpool all the way for the last Champions League place. However my money is on Newcastle to have a good consistent run in the second half of the season and to bag the 4th spot. The implications for Liverpool, with the worst side they have had since Bill Shankly inherited the club, could be interesting to watch.

Southampton, similarly to Charlton, should be able to keep chipping away at their league spot, though my only concern would be the effect on the players Gordon Strachans announcement may have on the side. Remember how Man U slid when Fergie initially announced his retirement? I still expect Strachan to instil fight into his players to the very end.

Birmingham are also currently in this batch of clubs, but I see them swaying on the cliff face hoping not to fall off the edge. Like Man City they have been in freefall, their initially strong defence has been leaking goals. I still see a relegation battle for the Brummies.

So what of the teams in the lower half of the table? It may seem strange to
include Aston Villa in this group. After all, they are currently level on
points with Southampton. I feel Villa have had a good run but they won’t
sustain it. There is not enough quality at the club, and whilst they
presently have a 7 point cushion on the relegation zone I feel they will not
breathe easily until the latter stages of the season.

by : Jonny Hall

Jonny Hall argues that Premiership teams should look more to the Nationwide that the continent.

Just how big is the gap between The Premiership and The Football League in terms of quality? I’m not talking about quality of football. I’m talking about quality of players.

Agreed, there is a difference in class – there are no world class players in the Nationwide Leagues, but there are quality players in the Nationwide Leagues without a doubt. The problem is that the Premiership clubs not so much turn a blind eye on this talent but don’t take a gamble on them. It shouldn’t be like this.

A round of applause must go to Tottenham Hotspur. Yes, Spurs. The so-called ‘problem’ club have got it right in the January transfer window by snapping up Sheffield United midfielder Michael Brown for an undisclosed fee. Some may think Spurs grabbed Brown from under the nose of several snooping Premiership clubs but I would bet you the Brammall Lane side had very few serious offers for their prized asset.

Hopefully the quick-thinking of Spurs will set an example for the rest of the top flight clubs because, let’s face it, buying players from the Nationwide Leagues rather than from abroad has got to be the way forward. It should be the way forward. Message to Gerard Houllier at Liverpool: why have an El Hadji-Diouf when you could have a Ricardo Fuller from Preston North End or a Robert Earnshaw from Cardiff City? A lot of the Premiership clubs sacrifice talent for reputation and that can’t be a good thing – Diouf had a good World Cup and he’s lauded as the next big thing. He’s proved to be the next big flop as have many others that you could reel off on both hands.

Simply put, foreigners have to be given time to settle in this country, break through the language barrier (which is mightily awkward sometimes, as I found out during a four-day stay in Italy last week), not to mention adapt to the one thing they are getting paid for and that’s playing football. Yes, David Beckham seems to be settling in quite well with his Real Madrid teammates in Spain but for others it doesn’t go quite so smoothly, just ask Steve McManaman. If I were a Premiership manager (god forbid, I’d be a nervous wreck) I would take a gamble and pluck a player out of the Nationwide Leagues and throw him in at the Premiership deep end. I’m sure he wouldn’t let me down – Michael Brown will prove to be a valuable member of the Spurs squad.

I must also take my hat off to Sir Bobby Robson at Newcastle United for having the nerve to use his contacts at First Division Ipswich Town to bring the likes of Darren Ambrose to St James’ Park. Sir Bobby also had an eye for Nottingham Forest’s Jermaine Jenas, who shows great promise both now and for the future. The Nationwide Leagues are where talent should be blooded and groomed so they are ready for their chance to shine at the highest level.

Here, I target the top 10 most valuable players in the Nationwide Football League – will Premiership managers do the same before the transfer window slams shut again…?

1) Jermain Defoe, West Ham United
2) Ricardo Fuller, Preston North End
3) Andy Reid, Nottingham Forest
4) Robert Earnshaw, Cardiff City
5) Michael Dawson, Nottingham Forest
6) Dean Ashton, Crewe Alexandra
7) Rob Hulse, West Bromwich Albion
8) Leon Knight, Brighton & Hove Albion
9) Nigel Reo-Coker, Wimbledon
10) Wayne Routledge, Crystal Palace

566: Ferdinand: An FA fine mess (pa

by : Tim Heming

Football was in a privileged position. It wasn’t the first sport to be put under the microscope for chemical cheating and it wouldn’t be the last, but it could look at the way the advancement of abuse has, to many, destroyed all credibility of pursuits like athletics and cycling and vow not to make the same mistakes. The governing bodies (FIFA and the FA) plus the PFA, Manchester United football club and all the individuals within had a moral duty in trying to protect the fast-fraying threads of the game’s wholesome image. But did they? Or did they resort to embittered infighting over their own self-importance? As so often, the latter proved the popular choice.

There have been cases in football before, Edgar Davids, Fernando Couto, Frank de Boer and Jaap Stam, all high profile and penalised over the use of Nandrolone whilst playing in Italy, but the Rio Ferdinand case from a British perspective far outweighs any of them. And yet the ham-fisted debacle this has turned into has left the sport in this country, at a time when it was badly in need of a shot of positive publicity, dragged through the gutter with far longer term effects than any alleged ‘roastings’ in swanky London hotels.

Ferdinand’s ban, whilst currently standing at eight months from a time of his choosing (and challenging) has taken so long to come to fruition as even to be criticised by FIFA clown-prince Sepp Blatter - ironic considering how quickly it was initially picked up through an online media leak and how rapidly Ferdinand was subsequently ejected from the England squad for the Euro qualifier against Turkey. You’d be forgiven for thinking the stiff-lipped FA would laugh off comments like this from a man who goes on record to say that the ‘other half’ of professional football should wear tighter shorts to improve their image, yet Blatter is still (frighteningly and by some less than transparent means) running the worldwide game. And shockingly, in this case, elements of his criticism (centring on Ferdinand being allowed to continue to play football) have some justification. Although it is fine to reason that any player should be deemed innocent until proven otherwise by the time of the disciplinary hearing and scheduling of the sentence, his club, with his influence, may have already gone half way to sewing up their ninth title in twelve years.

This unnecessary delay (unnecessary because we are simply waiting for the events of a few hours on September 23rd to be collated) undermines Mark Palios’ initial brave stance in pulling Ferdinand from the travelling party to Istanbul, whilst raising the question of double standards as he continues to ply his trade for Manchester United. When even Blatter is making sense we must be in a mess.

Not withstanding their own stagnant administration process the Football Association have been even further compromised over the Rio Ferdinand case. As well as having to answer for the bumblings of UK Sport over the simple task of failing to collect a urine sample, they could have left themselves open to the accusation of self-serving the national side. By the time the disciplinary commission eventually sat to hear the case, anything less than an eight month ban would have effectively ruled the player out of the remainder of the Premiership season whilst leaving the him fresh to represent his country in the European Championships. Thus, any ban would have to extend over the summer period as well. And so it followed.

Tim Heming
20/01/2004

by : Alicia Anderson

‘We love you Seaman’ were the sentiments scrawled across the vest of Nicolas Anelka last week. Rarely seen to be celebrating anything these days, the unhappy French forward tore the Manchester City shirt from his body as if the thing was on fire after he finally put City in the lead during David James’s debut game against Blackburn. It was a message from one troubled footballer to another.

Before the start of that match, immaculately dressed and perfectly groomed, David Seaman led his little girl, Georgina (in Manchester City strip from head to foot) to accompany him, as he finally said ‘Goodbye’ to the game. His retirement has been mournful for so many reasons – not in the least because he was an ambassador for the dilemma that hits every thirty-something staring into the abyss of a disappearing youth: ‘Am I too old to carry on doing this?’ Sadly notice was cruelly served to Seaman by every newspaper headline in the country after Ronaldinho put an end to England’s world cup ambition in 2002. His tearful embrace of David Beckham on every front page was the looking glass he simply couldn’t bear to face – and who, in all honesty, could blame him?

Given the passage of time however, it will hopefully be the gritty, difficult, typically English semi-final against Sheffield United that will become the emblem of David Seaman’s Swansong. It was the 84th minute of his 1,000th professional game and Arsenal were uncomfortably leading once again by a slender thread. The build up to the single winning goal had been controversial as Sol Campbell went unpunished for a foul on Wayne Allison, Patrick Vieira limped off in agony, and United went on to dominate when Paul Peschisolido came off the subs bench, fervently hoping to make a difference.

To this day Peschisolido is very likely baffled by the replays of the game – Asaba made a cross that he was certain to have headed away from the goalkeeper, but in a moment Seaman modestly described as ‘instinct’, he stretched out his right hand and clawed the ball out of danger. ‘I just flung my arm and tried to get something on it.’ ‘He must have shovels on his hands,’ remarked Peter Schmeicel, who is widely appreciated for being the finest ever keeper; ‘It was incredible.’ Another save from Omerod in the Final sealed it for Arsenal, and before the end of the day Seaman was lifting the cup with the very iron hands that had won it.

In all honesty, it’s not easy to pick out glaring examples of David Seaman’s goalkeeping nightmares, and his association with a DVD of the same name is insulting to his long and brilliant career. Like Tony Adams’s ‘Addicted,’ it is a strange cleansing exercise by someone who is filled with indecision and uncertainty about having to face retirement years before the human spirit is ready. Like ‘Addicted’ it has a masochistic quality, but then taking control of unearthing our own darkest and most embarrassing moments does deprive anyone else - the press, for example from being able to do so on our behalf.

Whatever David Seaman decides to do from here-on in, I’m sure I’m not alone in wishing him the very best. It would be nice to see him return to Arsenal in some coaching capacity, as Highbury is indisputably his rightful home - and Georgina, after all, looks much more comfortable wearing red and white!

Alicia Anderson
25/01/2004

by : David Hulott

CANARIES INVEST FOR SUCCESS

Back in October 1993, Mike Walker’s Norwich City came away from the Olympiastadion, Munich with a fully merited 2:1 win at the mighty Bayern Munich in the UEFA Cup, 2nd round, 1st leg. The second-leg was drawn 1:1 and with the club also performing admirably domestically, it seemed that the Canaries had arrived as a force in English football.

A few months earlier, Walker had requested the funds to bring in two new signings as the Norfolk side sat top of the Premiership, only to be turned down by the then chairman, Robert Chase. Within 18-months or so of the win in Germany, the dream was over, City were relegated and the club has spent every season since plying their trade in Division One.

Since his appointment in January 2001, Nigel Worthington has built a well-balanced squad, with a good spine to the team in the likes of Robert Green, Malky Mackay, Gary Holt and Paul McVeigh. The summer recruits of Jim Brennan, Damien Francis and Marc Edworthy certainly strengthened Worthington’s hand further still, but they still lacked the 20-goal striker he’d identified as his principal target in the close season.

It seemed that the club were destined for another season chasing a play-off place at best, but then Worthington pulled off something of a masterstroke in September, bringing in Darren Huckerby, Peter Crouch and Kevin Harper on loan. City’s fortunes took off almost instantaneously with Huckerby, who has so often flattered to deceive in the top-flight, becoming an immediate favourite with the fans.

Despite calls for all three to be signed, it did seem that there was little hope of the board releasing the funds required. It was difficult to argue with such prudence, given the lack of TV revenue after the collapse of ITV Digital and with so many clubs carrying crippling debts from years of paying inflated salaries to average players, it’s relatively rare these days for a Nationwide League club to take a calculated gamble on buying players in a bid to push for the Premiership.

However, enter majority shareholders Delia Smith and her husband Michael Wynn Jones with a £500,000 contribution to a new share issue, with the fans dipping into their pockets to contribute a further half-a-million plus, and Worthington was able to secure the services of not only Huckerby, but also those of fellow forwards Leon McKenzie and Mathias Svensson.

Now with in excess of 18,000 season ticket holders at Carrow Road, the feel-good factor at the club is at its highest since the halcyon days of Walker’s reign. A long overdue return to the Premiership could well be on the cards. Should they get there, further expenditure will surely be required to ensure that their stay in the Premiership is more than just a token season. Looks like Delia’s going to have to sell a few more pies.

David Hulott
26/01/2004

by : Alex Wolstenholme

The Football League is considering a `rebranding` exercise to give its league competition and the first division in particular a stronger identity. Even without this though the league has recovered remarkably well from the dark days of a couple of seasons ago.

With ITV Digital no more and the Premiership all conquering, the future for a large number of football league clubs did look bleak. Although the collapse of ITV Digital was used as a blanket excuse for some poor management over the years by some clubs there’s no doubt it was a hammer blow to many.

But the Nationwide has come back from the dead, aided by a couple of factors. Firstly the Premiership has faced something of a backlash after ten years of unquestioning media coverage with criticism about its predictability. Although the effect of this may be overstated there is no doubt that some people will have turned to their local side for their Saturday afternoon entertainment.

The opening up of the league to the Conference and below has brought in some well run and well supported clubs such as Yeovil to replace clubs who had been hanging in the league for years, kept afloat only by the re-election system. Contrary to fears, relegation to the Conference has not been the abyss it was feared. The likes of Doncaster have come back into the league in better shape than ever before.

The Conference itself is a vibrant competition with rising crowds and full time teams. Ex-league teams Chester and Exeter are looking healthy and winning games.

The new financial reality facing clubs has meant that they have had to reconnect with their supporters (whether they wanted to or not). QPR, Barnsley, Hull and others are enjoying the fruits of this with better crowds and better facilities while supporters are starting to have a say in the future of their clubs. After years of secrecy at Coventry fans are now kept informed about all the major decisions that the club is taking and played their own part in the go-ahead for a new stadium after a plea by the club to do so.

And most importantly of all is those fans themselves. There will always be big clubs in the football league and their fans aren’t going to desert them for more exciting premiership action down the road. Having the likes of Sunderland, West Ham in the league means that average crowds are up again this season and with all three divisions still wide open that interest should be kept up until the end of the campaign.

Alex Wolstenholme
26/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

The FA Cup has once again managed to throw up a potential clash of the titans as the draw for the fifth round was made on Monday lunchtime.

When the ties take place on the weekend of February 14 and 15 only sixteen clubs will maintain hopes of lifting the famous old trophy at Cardiff in May. While one of the big three of Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea will still be strongly fancied, the odds on a cheeky outsider carrying off the honours shortened slightly when Arsenal and Chelsea were drawn together in the fifth round's big tie.

Arsenal have faced Chelsea in each of the last three FA Cup competitions, and their record is flawless. They have come through each time and, indeed, have also gone on to reach the final in those years also. They will be bidding for a record-breaking fourth consecutive final appearance while Chelsea will view the FA Cup as one of many opportunities for their expensively assembled squad to pick up a trophy. The fact that the game is at Highbury may just giive the Gunners the edge that they need to dispose of their wealthy opponents, although much will depend on Arsene Wenger's selection policy.

Elsewhere there are two other all Premiership ties in round five. Firstly we have the possibility of a Manchester derby as United were drawn to face the winner of the Manchester City versus Tottenham tie. The two somehow contrived to draw 1-1 in Sunday's first tie as chance after chance was squandered on both sides. Perhaps the carrot of a match with the Champions in the last 16 will bring some much needed motivation to both strike forces.

Portsmouth, who have failed to win away from home all season in the league, will travel to Liverpool. Conquerers of Newcastle in round four, Liverpool will be heavily backed in this one, and Pompey's dismal away performances should see the Anfield club book their place in the quarter finals. The two meet again at Anfield in the league a week later. It is amazing how often that seems to happen with cup draws. Far be it from me to start conspiracy theories. I was the second gunman and all that, but fans of Arsenal and Middlesbrough might want to look into this theory a little closer after they ended up meeting four times in January due to the vagaries of cup draws. Still, at least they'll never meet in the Champions' League.

There was disappointment for the lower league sides remaining in the competition. The only non-league side left, Telford, will have a less than money-spinning home tie with Burnley should they pull off the minor miracle of knocking out Millwall in an as yet unplayed fourth round tie. The original fixture was called off on Saturday due to a waterlogged pitch. Third division Swansea have also managed to progress to the fifth round draw without so much as a sniff at one of the big boys. Their draw curse struck again when they were drawn away to second division Tranmere Rovers. The tie does at least guarantee the presence of a team outside the top two divisions in the quarter finals, but both would have been hoping for better things. Looking at it optmistically, both might well fancy their chances of progressing where a tie with a Premiership club will again be a possibility.

Some teams gain a reputation as being 'cup teams' over the years. It is usually the sort of nonsense that fans of increasingly desperate teams like Spurs or Newcastle hang on to for hope during the cold, barren, trophyless winters of discontent that they endure. However, Sheffield United might have a legitimate claim of this nature if their FA Cup progress continues. Semi finalists last year, the division one side have another great opportunity to progress to the quarter finals after landing a home tie with either Colchester United or Coventry City. Both are entirely beatable for Neil Warnock's men and a repeat of last year's heroics may not be beyond them.

That FA Cup Fifth Round Draw in full;

Manchester United v Manchester City or Tottenham Hotspur

Tranmere Rovers v Swansea City

Telford United or Millwall v Burnley

Sunderland v Birmingham City

Sheffield United v Colchester United or Coventry City

Arsenal v Chelsea

Liverpool v Portsmouth

Everton or Fulham v West Ham United

Stephen Orford
26/01/2004

by : Jason Walker

Manchester United and Arsenal are without a doubt the two most successful sides since the Premeirship’s introduction in 1993.
However they are not unbeatable, the teams playing them just need to show some belief and go into games against the big two thinking, “We can beat these”.

The likes of Bolton, Fulham and most recently Wolves have shown this with gutsy performances against Manchester United to defy all the critics.

Whilst relegation seems almost inevitable for the struggling midlanders Wolves will go back to Division One (if indeed that is their fate) happy in the knowledge that they provided the upset of the season.

It isn’t like it was a hugely weakened United team that they started against at Molineux a couple of weeks ago, the likes of Scholes, Van Nilsterooy and Howard all started the match.

Yet Wolves got in amongst them and didn’t let them pass the ball and in due course got their reward, a fantastic Kenny Miller winner on 67 minutes.

Earlier this season a spirited Fulham under the guidance of rookie boss Chris Coleman and hotly tipped for relegation in the summer went to Old Trafford and literally gave the Red Devils a battering. Winning 3-1 thanks to another gutsy, who the hell are you performance.

Going back through the archives Bolton beat Manchester United at Old Trafford in two consecutive seasons showing the world that the smaller teams can beat the big boys.

Lets not leave out Southampton either, who beat United 1-0 back in August thanks to the mercurial James Beattie.

Whilst Arsenal have yet to be beaten this season in the Premiership they too can be stopped. The likes of Leeds and Charlton have shown in recent seasons that it is possible with tremendous wins at Highbury.

Far too often you hear managers saying “Well a point would be fantastic”.

Yet instead of attacking the teams who are happy to settle for a draw or even a low score defeat at the hands of Arsenal and Manchester United let’s praise the likes of Wolves, Bolton, Fulham and Southampton who have shown that with the right belief, tactical awareness and fair amount of ability the big boys can be stopped.

The title surely will go to either Old Trafford or Highbury this season but if teams like Fulham and Wolves can upset the odds here and there it’ll make the run in, at both ends of the table, a helluva exciting one.

Jason Walker
26/01/2004

by : Dave Thrilling

The financial crisis that currently exists within the beautiful game makes it all the more remarkable that a Premiership team still trying to establish themselves in the top division have recently announced a profit on last years financial results. As Leeds United battle to stay in existence, Birmingham City directors continue to mould the midlands outfit into a club with ambitions to join the Premiership elite.

The Blues announced a record annual turnover of £36.5million that has doubled since last year, resulting in a profit after tax of £3.3million for the year ending August 31st 2003. The clubs first season in the Premiership after nearly two decades spent in the lower echelons of the football pyramid have allowed the board to benefit from television and other commercial income. In addition, the opportunity to see the likes of Dugarry against Manchester United as oppose to Adebola against Grimsby has unsurprisingly seen season tickets sales spiral.

Chairman David Sullivan was obviously delighted with the financial announcement but also highlighted the need for caution, stating, ''The board is well aware of the need to find the right balance between risk and reward and we will continue to manage the company profile accordingly.'' The directors have clearly given strong financial backing to Steve Bruce who was the most active manager in last years January transfer window purchasing several players to help confirm Premiership survival and then breaking the clubs transfer record to bring England International David Dunn to St.Andrews in the summer. However, the board are not prepared to follow the “Ridsdale strategy” of risking the clubs future and are under no illusions that transforming the club from Nationwide also-rans to UEFA Cup regulars is far from an overnight process.

After impressive early season form facilitated by eight clean sheets in ten games Birmingham currently lie comfortably in a mid-table position despite an inconsistent run of results in recent weeks. After surviving their first Premiership campaign with just a few games to spare, Blues have not dropped outside the top ten this term and while influential midfielder Robbie Savage recently urged further investment just to avoid another relegation battle, Bruce admitted that the hardest job was now approaching as he looks to take the club to the next level. Savage admitted, “It is up to the board to give Steve Bruce the money to go out and buy us the players for a place in Europe." The desire to persuade Finnish striker Mikael Forssell to sign a permanent contract together with reported transfer window bids for Martin Taylor, Danny Mills and most significantly Nicky Butt suggest Savage should have no fears over the club’s long-term ambitions.

Bruce had feared that a flurry of injuries would mean the need for a review of transfer policy he wants to adopt, stressing that “if the right ones are not available then I’ll wait until the summer because usually you’ve got a better chance of doing something than at this time of year”. Yet with key players Upson and Dugarry close to returning to first team action, a delve into the transfer market simply to retain squad size until the end of the season may not be required. Instead Bruce can concentrate on trying to attract the calibre of player that he needs to improve a team that has already been taken to the next level with his signings so far. Bruce has modelled his team on his own performances. He has quickly developed a squad brimming with spirit, desire and commitment. Players such as Clinton Morrison, Stephen Clemence and Jeff Kenna have all served the club well but there is a distinct lack of quality and depth to the squad if the club are to consistently challenge for European football.

The increase in merchandise and season tickets sales were perhaps expected rewards as a result of promotion from Division One, especially given Birmingham’s large fan base. However, the board have taken advantage of other money spinning opportunities. Only this weekend the club held a George Michael tribute night and any romantics in the second city may be interested in the upcoming Valentines function on offer. This may seem small fry but a 27% increase in corporate ventures proves the club once a laughing stock under Barry Fry is long forgotten. Sullivan, Karren Brady and the Gold brothers are innovative business people who are intent on making Steve Bruce the centre of the club’s long-term future despite frequent speculation that he is the natural successor to Alex Ferguson or Bobby Robson when they eventually retire.

With the exception of Comrade Abramovich’s bulging coffers and the global brand that is Manchester United, some of the traditional “big clubs” are struggling to attract some of top players on offer. Spurs are reliant on a new share scheme, Everton have been unable to capitalise on last season’s success while Birmingham’s local rivals Aston Villa face a player shortage in the summer. This year’s Premiership where 80% of the clubs are separated by just a few points and with so many facing significant financial constraints, Birmingham have the ideal opportunity to not only become established in the Premiership but perhaps a club that can become a force in Europe aswell. The set up is right, the ambition is there, and the finances are available. Only time will tell.

Dave Thrilling
26/01/2004

by : Tom Levitt

The word optimism was invented for men like Gerard Houllier. Any Liverpool fan left depressed by another failure to take maximum points need only tune into Houllier’s post-match bout of sanguinity. Such a red fan will then realise that they could and surely should have won the game. They can also take satisfaction in the knowledge that if they had won the game and several more then their club would be top of the premier league.

After Liverpool’s 1-0 win over Chelsea Houllier rolled out one of his favourite lines, “we’ve had a difficult week”, translated as look everyone we can even win in a tough week so can you now see how we would win the league if we only had easier weeks.

Continuing on this theme then he explained why the league table was lying and how his team were in the wrong position. He said: “We were without five players at Newcastle, imagine them without Robert, Shearer and Ameobi? With these injury problems, I think our league position is not bad and pretty well everyone will be back in January. After that I think we will be really in there fighting strong to improve our position and get the top third place, which is not out of reach.”

Talk about pushing forward a best-case scenario, did the guy not by chance notice that Chelsea in third place are thirteen points clear of Liverpool? Does he think Liverpool could make up five wins on Chelsea? What exactly does optimism translate into in French? A deranged form of denial?

In English the word means looking to the future and not dwelling on past mistakes. Yet incessantly Houllier is found pointing to the past, he cannot help himself it seems from making the few alterations he believes would then correctly reflect his team’s Premier League position.

The truth is that the past only reveals a team that has failed to show a top three consistency since the last months of the 2001/2 season, when they finished second.

Liverpool fans may be left with a feeling of dj-vu after listening to Houllier’s explanations after every other match but it’s not the return of the title-winning days. Sadly for them it is just another manager talking up his record and trying to re-write history instead of learning from it.
Tom Levitt
22/01/2004

by : Red Kitching

Ever since Leeds’ financial woes were brought to the attention of the football loving public, it has seen many people inside and outside the game draw parallels with what happened with Leicester City, probably the most high profile club to go into administration. Leeds are likely to go down that road in the future and only two saviours can save them, one on the pitch and one off it. They need to survive relegation at all costs. If they don’t it may be good-bye to Leeds Utd forever.

Let’s look at the events of Leicester to see what could happen in the near future:-

Leicester City had already gone down when their money troubles came to light. The recently completed Walkers Stadium (worth around £32m of the £50m debt the club had at the time of administration) the collapse of the ITV Digital deal and the cost of premiership wages in a division that could not support them cost Leicester dear. But all hope was not lost.

The Board of Directors at that time had agreed with the players and backroom staff that there would be a wage deferral of 25% and a complete bonus deferral until the end of that season. They also agreed with all but one of their creditors a repayment scheme that would mean Leicester would avoid going into administration, whilst ensuring that the creditors would be repaid in full in the fullness of time.

There was only one creditor who refused the repayment.

Eric Hall, agent of the recently sacked Dennis Wise, was furious that his client had been wrongly dismissed for breaking team-mate Callum Davidson’s cheek-bone. He was still owed money from the sale of Wise to Leicester and refused the creditor agreement. He decided to serve a winding up petition that would have led the club into bankruptcy and extinction. His reasoning for this I cannot comment on and my only hope is that it was not malicious.

This caused the directors to have to apply for creditor protection. Once this was done, administrators were appointed. The majority of the playing squad were made available on free transfers and even Muzzy Izzet was made available for transfer if the right offer came in. A large portion of the Non Playing staff were asked to leave immediately and the players even subsidised the wages of the kit cleaning staff to ensure they turned out in fresh shirts.

Over the next four months, Leicester lived day to day. There were times when the club came close to going out of business in this time. Fortunately, the Lineker Consortium managed to raise enough funding from local businessmen, former players like Emile Heskey and even the fans who weighed in with more than £100k in support of the club. The administrators then got agreement from the creditors for debt repayment and the new company was given the go ahead to come out of administration and it should have been plain sailing for Leicester City from then on.

It wasn’t.

Leicester were accused of cheating their way out of debt by every other club in the first division. There was talk of points docking and even relegation! As there was no law regarding football clubs in administration, nothing could be done, except the Football League took an unprecedented step of banning Leicester from signing any players on any terms before the end of the season. This was perceived to be punishment for any wrong-doing by the club.

So, what can Leeds expect if they go into administration? Certainly not any assistance from the authorities in the game. There is nothing in Premier League law that says that they are to be docked points and hopefully they will not suffer a deduction of points before the end of this season. Also, they will become fair game for comment from all of their opponents and virtually anyone with a voice on the game. Chairmen seeking to push themselves into the limelight (somewhat ironic given the publicity hungry former chairman that caused this whole mess) will say how Leeds should be penalised for not keeping their house in order.

I recommend developing a siege mentality in the dressing room to assist in keeping the club alive. Using the negative comments of others assisted Micky Adams in improving the results on the pitch, perhaps it will work for Leeds too.

My one hope is that Leeds will use the current situation to create a better, more frugal club in the future should they survive the dark times as Leicester have done.

Red Kitching
26/01/2004

by : Jason Walker

It’s getting to that time of year again. Yes, time for a review of those early season predictions we all made down the pub after a few jars and now that we realise that we were completely wrong we rework them (whilst sober) and claim it’s all part of some genius masterplan.

I’m an avid Arsenal fan, and so of course I plumped for the Gunners to wrestle the title back from our northern neighbours and for Spurs to go down. Now, even I didn’t think Spurs would really be contenders for the drop pre season, I only predicted they’d drop a division because I’m a Gooner and I hate them. Yet halfway through the season and despite a mini revival of late I can proudly claim to have always known Spurs would down there fighting come the new year.

As for Arsenal winning the title, well there’s a great chance as the not so strapped for cash Chelsea millionaires begin to falter alarmingly and Man United show signs of defensive weaknesses. However although Arsenal are not entirely a one man team I shudder to imagine the consequences if Thierry Henry were to be injured long term and that’s why I think Arsene Wenger must act quick and land either Defoe, Angel or Alan Smith in the current transfer window to boost a weak attack if you look beyond the mercurial Henry.

I expected Newcastle to guarantee themselves the fourth Champions League spot although now I’m not so sure, Liverpool look to be progressing gradually whilst Villa have picked up in recent weeks. Charlton and Fulham will not finish in the top five however and that’s purely down to the fact that you can’t sell your best players to the big boys your trying to catch up. Whilst Scott Parker is still a Charlton player the Louis Saha transfer saga which has ended with the Frenchman eventually landing his dream move to United makes you wonder for just how long the young England starlet will be at the Valley for.

For relegation, alongside Spurs I had Wolves and Leeds on my list and although I feel Leicester’s alarmingly inept defending and amazing inability to play decent football will see them replace Spurs in eighteenth spot I’m happy with my other two predictions. Despite an historic victory over Manchester United recently Wolves do not possess the quality to stay up and as for Leeds it is just one crisis after another which looks almost certain to end in the club dropping out of the top flight and possibly out of existence.

Jason Walker
19/01/2004

by : Steven Coventry

Apparently Charlton are unhappy with Chelsea’s continuing pursuit of their prize asset, England midfielder Scott Parker. According to the Charlton Chairman, Martin Simons, Chelsea (and in particular their billionaire owner) should ‘get lost’ and stop bullying smaller clubs into selling their best players. But what exactly have Chelsea done wrong?

Charlton have complained that the publicity has unsettled Parker. But who was it that made Chelsea’s approach public? Charlton. What have Chelsea said about this in public? Nothing. Chelsea have made a legitimate bid for the player within the laws of the game and, unlike other clubs, they haven’t publicly tried to unsettle the player. Nor have their been pictures of Parker being smuggled from Chelsea’s training ground or holding clandestine meetings with senior Chelsea management. I’m not nave enough to think that there has been no contact between Chelsea and Parker’s representatives, but the club have been less naked in their pursuit than, say, Manchester United have been over Saha and Robben.

Charlton might have a legitimate case if they had stated that the player was not for sale at any price, but having rejected Chelsea’s second bid because they were unhappy that the fee was linked to appearances, Charlton have sent out the clear signal that this is about extracting the maximum price possible.

Until recently, living in London, I had honestly never met anyone who supported Charlton. It became a running joke – “does ANYONE support Charlton?” - but I was wrong. No one can patronise Charlton these days. They are a well-run, well-supported, medium-size Premiership club with realistic hopes of European football. They are at least as ‘big’ a club today as Tottenham, and, unlike their North London rivals, they have feasible plans to move up to the next level, rather than living on past glories and a belief that they have a divine right to be a ‘big club’. Charlton simply can’t claim to be making a stand for the ‘small clubs’

They also have no right to moan about the affect that Abramovich’s billions has had on the game. West Ham fans might not like it, but do you think that the directors at the club are cursing Chelsea for putting £12 million into their kitty over the summer? And hold on, aren’t Charlton themselves benefiting from the Abramovich revolution in the shape of on-loan Carlton Cole?

So it’s time for Charlton to stop playing the role of the downtrodden small-club. Alan Curbishley is clearly a talented manager. But just as another talented young manager before him – David O’Leary – played the, “they’re only a team of young lads, you shouldn’t expect too much” card ad nauseam at Leeds, so it’s time that Curbishley gave it a rest about ‘little old’ Charlton.

The truth is that Charlton know that Parker will leave (although they may very well hang on to him until the summer), and they are holding out for the best price possible, while demonstrating to their fans that they have done everything possible to hold onto the player. Fine. It’s a legitimate tactic. But it’s time that they stopped playing the victim and ditched the mock moral outrage.

Steven COventry
22/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

The appointment of Lawrie Sanchez as Northern Ireland manager came as something of a surprise to many observers in the game. Hot favourite for the post had been Dunfermline assistant manager Jimmy Nicholl, but after much deliberating since the defection of Sammy McIlroy to Stockport County, it was former Crazy Gang member Sanchez who got the nod.

Rumours abound that Nicholl could not agree personal terms for the position. Whether this is another way of saying that he wanted too much money is unclear, but it is easy to see why any prospective candidate for this thankless task might want a hefty financial incentive. Northern Ireland are now among the poorer relations in world football, having failed to qualify for a major tournament since the 1986 World Cup in Mexico. They haven't even come close to success in recent qualifying campaigns, and all of this against the backdrop of the relative success of the Republic of Ireland team over the last 15 years.

Now, it falls upon former Wycombe Wanderers manager Sanchez to revitalise Northern Irish football. The man with the Spanish sounding surname will be assisted in his new job by Sky Sports Spanish football guru Gerry Armstrong. It is hoped that his knowledge of the European game will prove invaluable to Sanchez, who signs a two-year contract. However, this is not the first time that Armstrong's expertise has been called upon by the Northern Irish FA. The former Watford and Real Mallorca man was assistant to Bryan Hamilton between 1994 and 1998. Between them, they failed to pull up too many trees but the problems in Northern Irish football run deeper than meets the eye. Though it is an honour to be given an international managerial position, this is not a good time to become manager of Northern Ireland.

It is well documented that Northern Ireland have failed to find the net in a very, very long time. Their failure to trouble the scorers is international football's longest running-joke. The reasons for this shortfall of goal-power are easy to see. Most of the modern day Northern Ireland squad is made up of players from lower reaches of the English Nationwide League. Asking players to step up from that level to international level is an unrealistic objective, and work needs to be done at grass roots to develop players who can progress to a higher level of football domestically.

Over the years Northern Ireland have been able to call on stars like Best, Jennings, Whiteside and O'Neill. It used to be the dream of many a Northern Irish boy to make the journey across the Irish Sea to one of England's big hitters. That dream may still exist, but with the influx of more and more foreign talent into the English Premiership, it is becoming increasingly unlikely. The argument that the cream will always rise to the top is becoming a little tired. We now seem to have reached a point when even the youth teams of the great and the good are filled with budding young Eurostars, so what chance for the young talent of Northern Ireland?

Scottish football now seems to be making a slight recovery from a similar problem, with Darren Fletcher of Manchester United and James McFadden of Everton particularly prominent in the Premiership this season. Northern Ireland, and Sanchez, must follow their lead if they are to have any hope of regaining the respectability of Northern Irish teams of old. Their qualification group for the 2006 World Cup in Germany should offer some much needed limelight for the game in Northern Ireland, containing as it does an array of British rivals with the presence of both England and Wales. Games against these two are bound to be ultra-competetive, but at the moment for all their hard work and endeavour you cannot see Northern Ireland getting much change out of a highly regarded England and a resurgent Wales. It will be Sanchez's task to ensure that respectability is gained, given that qualification from a group that also contains Austria and Poland seems a distant dream.

Sanchez starts his reign with a friendly against Norway at Windsor Park on February 18 before taking his team on a three game tour of the Carribbean. By the start of the next domestic season the serious stuff will be on the horizon. It is difficult to see how Sanchez can turn the situation around by then. The appointment of a man recently sacked by an English second division side is indicative of the lack of options available to Northern Ireland at present. It is interesting to note that the Northern Irish manager currently enjoying the most success at club level, Martin O'Neill, never had his name mentioned in connection with the job. It is a sign of the times for Northern Ireland that managing Celtic is an infinitely more prestigious post.

I would guess that a few more managers will come in and out of the Northern Ireland hot-seat before the national team can begin to truly recover from its present slumber. Sanchez, capped three times by Northern Ireland as a player, will offer pride, passion and professionalism. However, football is a results based business and it is difficult to see how he can achieve the results that will allow him a long tenure in the job. Despite this, he does at least have an opportunity to lay the foundations for the recovery of the national team. Though he may not be in the job when it comes to fruition, he may yet play an important part in restoring the pride in Northern Irish football in years to come.

Stephen Orford
22/01/2004

by : Jonny Hall

Checking my e-mail inbox this morning, I sifted through the junk mail until my eyes fixed on one. From: Jack Ferguson, Subject: Uncle Jonny. It read…

“Uncle Jonny,

Thought you’d be the ideal person to get in touch with as I’m preparing to return to playing football.

I know I’ve not played since I was fifteen, but the chance to sign up for ‘Eastway Rovers FC’ in the East Cheam Sunday League Division Six was too good an opportunity to miss. Decent set-up, convenient training time, a few familiar faces, all the old banter awaits. And I was wondering if you could offer some advice on how I should go about it, having ‘been there, done that’ kind of thing.

As we’ve not been in touch for a while, I’ll put you in the picture by explaining where I’m at right now. I stopped playing football competitively when I was fifteen – that’s four years of withdrawal symptoms. I feel like Tom Hanks on his deserted island in Castaway. Well, not quite that bad, but I have felt alienated from football. The past four years have been a busy time in my life, a time when football wasn’t the only thing on my mind. So I suppose circumstances and times change, but I’ll not go into all that unless you want to hear it?

I’m proud of where I am at the minute and there’s only one thing missing I think – and that’s playing football again. Just doing some exercise would be a good start because I do very little and it’s about time I got off my backside. To be honest, I just need to get fit, get sharp, get that dedication back. Is it simply a matter of being patient? I have all the confidence in the world that once I get a feel for the ball again I’ll still have ‘the touch’. I’ve still got the know-how ‘up there’. Though, having a quick brain is one thing but quick feet…

I have one or two things in mind on how I can get fit but I want to take your advice on board before I do anything. Any advice you have, Jonny, would be greatly appreciated.

Hope the weather’s a little warmer out there,
Will catch you on the MSN messenger soon,

Bye for now,

Jack.”

God bless the Internet. A reply is ‘in the post’ tomorrow, Jack…

--

Jonny Hall
21/01/2004

by : Antony Melvin

It is reported that Tottenham have bid five million pounds, coincidentally the amount rumoured to be needed to keep Leeds going, for the services of Paul Robinson and James Milner. That Leeds have rejected this offer may just be evidence that they are driving a harder bargain than Tottenham anticipated. If Spurs come back with an improved offer it may just be that common sense will prevail. It has to be said that offering five million pounds for two young players of great talent like Robinson and Milner is a classic example of another Premiership club trying to take advantage of another's financial problems. While Tottenham have a responsibilty to get the best deal possible, Leeds' financial position must not lead them into shipping out players on the cheap as they did with Harry Kewell.

The board are making one or two attempts to release players. Today it was announced that Roque Junior will be having his contract terminated by the club. The Brazillian who is routinely referred to as a 'World Cup winner', has showed nothing of his pedigree during his short spell with Leeds United and it is perhaps wise that the two part company. However, two more players have refused to sign termination agreements despite being told that they are no longer required at Elland Road. Zoumana Camara and Didier Domi seem determined to dig their heels in, for reasons best known to themselves. All of which does nothing to help Leeds' cause, making a high profile sale an increasing possibility.

And all of this because they chased the dream of challenging Manchester United and Arsenal's Premiership duopoly. Sometimes boldness is not rewarded as we would like.

By Stephen Orford
22/01/2004The secret diary of the man who gets things done.

MONDAY

Arsenal are still pleading poverty and that they aren’t interested in players. So a little mischief-making is in order. Jermain Defoe is a £12m target (Mirror) – as if anyone would pay that much for little lad with anger management issues. Tried to attract interest in Henrik Larsson by reprinting last Mondays he’s-off-to-Barca story (Sun). No, Newcastle, no.

Desperate call from Carl Cort, who wasn’t impressed with an offer to star in a sequel to the ‘Hollow Man’ film. In a bid to entice Middlesbrough we linked Cort to Portsmouth on loan for the rest of the season (Mirror). If we could get Middlesbrough interested this would tie in well with our ongoing negotiations for big Emile at Anfield. As a sweetener we eased the pressure on Houllier by suggesting that O’Neill was out of the picture following a recent outburst (Sun). Saha

TUESDAY
Attempted to play all ends against the middle in the Leeds debacle, with the players fighting a wage cut (Sun), backing a wage cut (Mirror) and being sold (Mail). No real purpose here, just a ‘for laughs’ exercise. Unable to stop Cort going to Wolves, how many strikers are left that might interest ‘Boro – does anyone know where Ade Akinbiyi lives?

Operation upset Man Utd entered week two with a reprint of a Cubic Explosion takeover bid (Mirror). Fergies nose was purple at the prospect of suing a major shareholder, we think his nose colour will disappear off the visible spectrum if they turn out to be his bosses. Opened book – Ultra Violet now clear favourite by the end of the season.

WEDNESDAY
As the transfer window approaches its final week, the agitator office staff are working all hours to contrive the right results for our clients. And in order to mask Arsenal’s real intentions we chucked a couple of bones to the baying press hyenas. But is anyone really taken in speculation surrounding Jose Reyes joining Arsenal for £20m (Mail) or Patrick Kluivert joining in the summer (Star).

Tried to get some movement at Chelsea, every agents favourite club, by suggesting that Wayne Bridge was about to be replaced (Express) or that Cudicini was off to Italy (Sun). After all its one out and three in at the Bridge these days. And in a surprise move Liverpool are pondering a bid for Taribo West (Sun), which is a surprise to everyone who wasn’t aware of his contract negotiations.

THURSDAY
Birmingham are muddying the waters of Nicky Butt’s move to Spurs by cavalierly bidding £5m cash money for him (Mirror/Independent)! Tried to demonstrate what £5m can get you to muddy the waters. The £15m rights issue at Spurs means they are perfect foils, so Spurs want to spend £5m on Paul Robinson and Eirik Bakke (Sun) or £5m on Robinson and James Milnor (Guardian), or improve on the £5m bid for Andy Reid and Michael Dawson (Star). Leeds also want to sell Smith for £5m (Telegraph).

Wolves have offered £2m for Ricardo Fuller (Independent) due to his prolific Nationwide goalscoring record, a record he can therefore continue next season. Meanwhile desperately trying to drum up interest in Larsson by suggesting talks at Newcastle (Guardian), the third link in a week in an attempt to stop him retiring.

FRIDAY
After another chat to Michael Owen we let a ‘we will wait until after Euro 2004 before discussing a new contract’ story leak (Mirror), a nice counterpoint to GH’s assertion that contract negotiations will start soon (BBC). Nicky Butt might stay at Man Utd (Independent) – come and get me plee if ever we’ve planted one.

The Leeds speculation fire sale is in full flow with bids a-go-go. Newcastle to buy Smith and loan him back (Sun) and Manchester United to get Milnor (Telegraph/Star). Struck back with a Machiavellian move for Newcastle by suggesting they sign Gudjohnsen for £5m (Express), to panic Leeds into selling Smith. Leeds response, that they are persuading former players and managers to defer payments (Express), was unlikely to persuade anyone.

Weekend
L.A., party.

Antony Melvin was routing through the bins of the rich and powerful.

by : Red Kitching

So, Louis Saha has got his move. Fulham have got their money and Manchester United have got their man. But is he the right man? And at £12m is it a good investment?

Sir Alex Ferguson has been struggling this year with his purchases. The spectre of David Beckham, dressed in white and playing out of his skin in Spain, looms large over Kleberson, Djemba-Djemba and David Bellion, who have all struggled this year (the two former somehow ahead of Nicky Butt). Cristiano Ronaldo is only one for the future – if he cuts down on the step overs he might be a great player – but he has to be given the time his age requires to mature into a star of the world game. Only goalkeeper Tim Howard has shown the type of form and consistency you would associate with defending champions. And now there has been the dogged pursuit and purchase of Louis Saha to add to these misfiring outfield players.

No one would dispute the fact that Fergie needed to buy another striker to go with Ruud Van Nistelrooy and he has been linked to virtually every striker outside the big 5 in his pursuit. Mark Viduka, Alan Smith and Jermain Defoe were the strongest links to Old Trafford and all have done good work in the Premiership in recent times, but they have chosen a young Frenchman in London who is having the season of his life.

Saha has shown that he is capable of scoring goals at the highest level this year too (and on occasion in the previous two seasons), but he has only shown any consistency this (half) season. The past two seasons he has been played up front with a partner, either Steve Marlet or Barry Hayles, and he wasn’t in the upper echelons of the premium marksmen in the top division. This season has seen him score regularly whilst playing as a lone striker with the excellent Steed Malbranque as the chief string-puller behind him. £12m seems steep for a player who has done the business for half a season. Especially considering that makes him allegedly worth 2.5 times Nicky Butt! He may only be 23, but that is a heck of a gamble who is expected to produce the goods immediately.

What will Fergie do with the Frenchman? He has already proved that he works better as a lone striker, so will he try to pair him with the similar Van Nistelrooy? It seems an odd buy as you would guess that perhaps Saha will only play when Van Nistelrooy is out injured. And for a reserve, £12m seems excessive.

Given the choice, I would have paid Leeds the money on the link man cum striker Mark Viduka. He has more than a hint of Cantona about his ability and would be able to fit into the Manchester Utd formula very well. Then again, I write about football and Fergie is paid to manage a football club, so what do I know? Only time will tell.

Red Kitching
20/01/2004

by : Jason Walker

As four times European Cup winners Liverpool drift around the mid table spot and Champions League semi - finalists of a few years ago Leeds contemplate relegation and possibly bankruptcy you only have to look at poor Nottingham Forest to see how it can all go horribly wrong, and quickly too…

13 years ago Nottingham Forest were beaten 2-1 in the FA Cup final by Spurs. It was the day that effectively ruined Gazza’s career with that infamous challenge on Gary Charles, but how many people present that day would have thought that just over a decade later Forest would be fighting for survival in the first division?

Play-off semi-finalists last season Nottingham Forest had done relatively well given the dire financial position of the club, however how on earth did that promotion pushing side suddenly turn into a relegation fighting one?

When Forest were relegated from the Premiership, in its debut season eleven years ago, it signalled the end of an era. A sad, desperate Brian Clough saw his twenty-something, trophy laden year reign tarnished by relegation, in stepped former player Frank Clark, Roy Keane moved to Manchester United, whilst the likes of Stan Collymore and Kevin Campbell arrived. Forest immediately returned to the Premiership, yet just three later the club spiralled into uncontrollable debt and slid back to division one, again they returned but again they fell back and that’s where they’ve stayed since.

Comparison’s can be made with both Leeds and Liverpool, Leeds are in uncontrollable debt and near certainties for a once unthinkable drop to the first division, whereas Liverpool are in a slow decline, fourteen years without a league title and even unable to assure a European place nowadays, things surely have to change. Liverpool fans and players and managers alike can no longer think they have a divine right to be champions or a regular European side. They, like everyone else must fight for that right.

For Leeds it is too late, they will play division one footie next season, of that I’m sure. As for Liverpool they have to watch, Houiller is full of excuses and needs to leave. Yet Liverpool have to be smart with their replacement, surely it has to be Martin O’Neill, a European Cup winner under Cloughie at Forest who joins or they could one day end up like the once great, but now tragic Nottingham Forest.

Jason Walker
19/01/2004

by : Red Kitching

Red Kitching thinks that the Liverpool versus Newcastle United tie could end a managerial career.

You can just imagine how the 4th Round F.A. Cup draw was anticipated in the manager’s offices at Anfield and St. James’ Park. Apart from the race for fourth place in the Premiership (!), this represents a realistic opportunity of silverware for the success-starved masses in the red of Liverpool and the Black and White of Newcastle.

Gerard Houllier’s problems this season have been there for all to see: too inconsistent, too brittle at the back and not enough up front. The major money paid out for the ‘stars’ of summer 2002 have not brought the expected push from 2nd in 2001 to champions in the following seasons. Instead they have gone into reverse and this has deservedly brought criticism to Monsieur Houllier’s door. This season has seen them struggling to even keep pace with 4th position and it is in no way guaranteed that they will finish in that elusive 4th Champions League spot. The usually silent Liverpool chairman has been quoted as saying that a minimum of Champions League football is required, which means that Gerard Houllier has the weight of the world on his shoulders. ‘How a good F.A. Cup run could boost morale and help us get something out of a season that has so far been disappointing to say the least’ Gerard must have thought as the balls started being chosen.

Up in the North East, Sir Bobby Robson has had his own problems this year. A poor start to the campaign put an end to any hopes of building on last year’s 3rd place in the league, despite Alan Shearer continuing to bang in goals like the machine he quite obviously is and Laurent Robert playing out of his skin. Add to this a calamitous exit from the final Champions League qualifier and an early end to their Carling Cup campaign and it has been underachievement all the way. Like Liverpool, the chairman has criticised the team recently as well, so it is becoming a make or break year for Sir Bob too. ‘How a good F.A. Cup run could boost morale and help us get something out of a season that has so far been disappointing to say the least’, Sir Bob must have thought as the balls started being chosen.

Then, after a few interesting ties came out…

‘Liverpool…. Will play… Newcastle’.

There you have it. The law of Sod comes into effect and the two teams that need a cup run desperately to turn their season’s into a success are drawn together in almost a winner takes all scenario. A victory over the closest rivals for the final Champions League spot could give a vital edge to the successful team and a chance to push on in the second half of the season.

An interesting side-plot is that this game could have some bearing on the summer destination of a certain Irish football manager in Glasgow. Martin O’Neill has been strongly linked with the position at Liverpool but there have also been mutterings in the press that he could replace Sir Bob should targets not be met. The winner may take all, but the loser could end up with the manager du jour.

Who will win though?

Although they have home advantage and Michael Owen returning to the side, I think that Newcastle will find the impetus they need for a good second half to the season and will run out winners in a tight game.

I would imagine the mobiles of Celtic’s major shareholder and chairman, Dermot Desmond and Brian Quinn respectively, will be switched off right after the game no matter who wins.

by : Stephen Orford

If they are to avoid going into administration the board, management and players of Leeds United face some very difficult decisions this week.

Having temporarily managed to stave off this threat the Elland Road club were given an additional seven days to find the money needed to keep them in business for the rest of the season. In all likelihood, if the money is not raised by this coming Monday (January 26) then Leeds United will become the first Premiership club to be placed into the hands of administrators. The figure required to rescue the club from this fate is said to be around five million pounds, but it seems that finding the best way to raise this cash is causing yet more friction at the stricken club.

Earlier in the week the Leeds United players were asked what they thought of the idea of deferring a percentage of their wages until the end of the season. At first the response seemed positive as it emerged that the players had agreed to this in principle. However, it was later reported that the players were only prepared to do this as a last resort, and that it would only happen at the end of the month if at all. With the wolf at the door it seemed that the end of the month would be too late. Leading the players on their stance, and possibly leadiing the famous old club into financial meltdown in the process was PFA Chairman Gordon Taylor. Taylor explained that the players had every right to expect their contracts to be paid in full when they signed them, and that a deferral of wages should not be something that the players should feel obliged to undertake.

This is a typical and understandable view for any union representative to take. However, when it is applied to footballers it becomes overly simplistic. These are men who are paid not in hundreds of pounds, like the mere mortals among us, but in tens of thousands of pounds per week. Is it really asking too much for them to do without that extra Ferrari so that one of English football's biggest clubs can survive for a while longer? After all, wasn't it the players who contributed to the current plight of Leeds United? Although several of their colleagues were sold off around them, it is the players whose performances have led to the very real threat of relegation from the Premiership, which in turn causes major financial difficulties.

Today (Thursday January 22) the players have issued another statement insisting that no decision has yet been taken as to whether or not any wage deferral will be accepted. This despite the earlier reports that they were not prepared to defer wages until at least the end of the month. Regular readers of my work will be wary of my cynicism, but I would suggest that this statement is a response to public opinion. It seems that the Leeds United players have become aware that the public expects them to do the decent thing, given the absurd amounts of money that they earn.

Unhelpfully adding to the debate is Sunderland Football Club. Chairman Bob Murray and manager Mick McCarthy have both spoken today of the fact that the Sunderland players recently agreed to a 25% wage deferral to save their club. All of which adds yet more pressure on the Leeds players to follow suit as time runs out for the club. Quite whether the Leeds situation is any business of those at Sunderland is questionable, but they have certainly set an interesting precedent for Leeds to follow.

It is not only the players who are causing problems for Leeds United with their stubborn behaviour. The board are steadfastly refusing to sell any more of their players. Wary of past criticism during the now infamous Elland Road fire sales over the last eighteen months, the board are adamant that the likes of Robinson, Viduka and Smith will not be sold to ease the financial crisis at the club. Aswell as fears of a backlash from fans, the board must also have very real fears that more sales will only rubber-stamp Leeds' relegation from the Premiership into the Nationwide League. This would have devastating financial consequences for the club regardless of whether they enter the Nationwide League in administration or not. However, is it not possible that this current Leeds United team will suffer relegation whether or not more players are sold in the current window? Relegation, whether Leeds United's fans, players and board like it or not is a distinct possibility. Surely it would be wiser to enter the Nationwide League on something like a secure financial footing. Relegation would lead to the exits of these players in any case as it has with many of the star players formerly with West Ham United, and it may just be time for the board to bite the bullet.

by : David Hulott

While Fulham may protest at the manner in which Louis Saha was prised away from the club, I can't help but think there must be a fair amount of sniggering in the Cottagers' boardroom at having secured a reported £12 million for a six-month golden spell of form.

Even allowing for United’s long apparent need for a striker to support/back-up Ruud van Nistelrooy, Saha looks a highly questionable, not to mention expensive, addition to the roster. The main basis for his signing seems to largely revolve around him being available for Champions League action, as otherwise it would surely have made far more sense to go for someone of genuine quality, like Mateja Kezman or Adriano?

Saha isn’t the first dodgy signing at Old Trafford in recent times either. Many seem to regard Cristiano Ronaldo as a real throwback to the wing wizards of yesteryear. Unfortunately, the wing wizard in question is Charles “Charlie” Charles from the classic Harry Enfield sketch. The fact that Sir Alex Ferguson paid in excess of £12 million for a one-trick pony beggars belief! His signing increasingly resembles a panic measure after missing out on Ronaldinho.

Indeed, it does appear that having failed to sign the Brazilian in the summer, Ferguson decided to embark on a major overhaul of his entire squad as a consequence. Whilst it's obviously a sensible policy to try and ensure the squad doesn’t grow stale, it does seem that the majority of the new recruits over the past six months or so (with the notable exception of the excellent Tim Howard) lack the quality that one has come to expect from the Red Devils – well, either that or David Bellion has some talents that are remarkably well hidden.

With speculation rife that racing tycoons John Magnier and JP McManus could be on the verge of launching a takeover at Old Trafford, Ferguson's days could be numbered. The legal wrangle between Ferguson and Magnier over ownership rights of Rock of Gibraltar seem particularly bitter and it would appear unlikely in the extreme that two such stubborn and bloody-minded figures would ever be able to work together.

With that in mind, and with some of the recent recruits looking so mediocre, it's beginning to look as if Fergie's developed a form of footballing Munchausen's Syndrome by proxy. Rather than let someone inherit the squad that he has so lovingly built over the years, it’s as if he has made a conscious decision to rip the heart out of it and leave a set of sub-standard players for the next incumbent.

No, that could never happen….could it?

David Hulott
21/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

When you have been languishing around the lower reaches of the football pyramid for as long as you can remember, a chance to mix it with the big boys in the FA Cup is just about as good as it gets. Fans of Northampton Town and Scarborough must be wringing their hands in anticipation of their clubs' fourth round ties against Manchester United and Chelsea respectively.

When your team is more used to taking on the likes of York City and Burton Albion, it is not often you get the opportunity to welcome Ruud Van Nistelrooy or Hernan Crespo to your humble surroundings, but how much would you reasonably expect to pay for the privelege of seeing these great stars in action? Both Northampton Town and Scarborough have placed significant increases on ticket prices for these dream ties in an effort to bring in some much needed funds to their club coffers. The question is, is this the right thing to do? Should loyal fans be expected to dig deep into their pockets just because footballing royalty is coming to town?

In a word, maybe. It is reported that Northampton Town are to charge their fans 35 pounds for entrance into their FA Cup tie. A bumper crowd is still expected, and with the extra revenue from television rights the club is set to make a pretty penny from the whole shebang, regardless of how much they charge fans to get in to the ground on the day. However, it must be remembered that it is unlikely that the Cobblers will enjoy a game of this magnitude for a very long time to come. By paying the extra money for a one-off tie, fans of both Northampton and Scarborough will be helping to raise funds for their clubs, hopefully ensuring a more secure future.

The last time Northampton Town met Manchester United, George Best waltzed around Cobblers defenders as if they were training cones on his way to a remarkable six goals in an 8-2 United win. Surely any fan worth their salt would pay 35 pounds for the right to say that they were there on the day that one of the world's best ever players put on a veritable dribbling clinic. Though a repeat of Best's masterclass that day is highly unlikely, the present Manchester United side still possesses enough quality to ensure a rare treat for Northampton Town fans. If the stars don't perform then perhaps town fans can start dreaming of an upset. If it is worth 35 pounds to witness the brilliance of Van Nistelrooy, Scholes and company, it is impossible to put a price on actually being there on the day the little guys brought the mighty giants crashing down to earth.

Scarborough have decided on a more modest price rise for the visit of Chelsea. Fans of the Conference side can expect to pay 10 pounds more than they would do for any other fixture at the McCain Stadium after their thrilling 1-0 win over Southend United in round three. If an upset between Northampton Town and Manchester United is unlikely, then words fail me in my attempts to describe the probability of Scarborough pulling off what would be the shock of all shocks against the richest team on the block at the moment. Still, while the dream is alive the fans will flock to witness it.

Some may see this price hiking policy as exploitation. Who wants to pay well over the odds to watch their teams probable annhialation? I understand their argument that their loyalty should be rewarded but these really are exceptional circumstances. Besides, it's the word "probable" which forces the hand of every regular fan of Northampton Town and Scarborough.

You never know in football. You just never know.

Stephen Orford
16/01/2004

Manchester United subsequently offered to subsidise their fans by £10 per ticket.

by : Antony Melvin

Last Christmas it seemed clear to many observers, including this one, that the Manchester United machine was in danger of collapse. Drifting in the title race and never better that well backed outsiders in the Champions League United looked to have fallen a long way from the flamboyant 1999 team that terrorised Juventus in Turin and turned almost definite defeats into victories in a series of epic encounters against Munich and Arsenal. That team was gone and the replacement team was simply not as good.

To put it in context: who would have bet money on United beating Arsenal in any competition after last Christmas? In 1999 they went into injury time in the FA Cup with ten-men after Keane was sent-off, Schmeichel made a penalty save from Bergkamp and they went on to win the tournament after that goal from Ryan Giggs. A year ago Manchester United were a laughable distance from those heights.

So come the summer, and despite a lucky title win on the back of a desperately tired Arsenal team doing a passable impression of Devon Loch in the finishing straight, things needed changing. In particular the largely home-grown midfield needed refreshing. Ferguson had been experimenting with a 4-2-3-1 and had some notable successes with it, for example, beating Arsenal 2-0 with Veron and Phil Neville as the ‘2’. The midfield was at the end of last season was getting too old, with an average age of 28/29 and no youngsters. Keane 31, Giggs 29, Scholes 28, Beckham 28, Butt 28, Veron 27, Phil Neville 26 and Quinton Fortune 26 were all at or near their peak years but were being over-run when faced with athletic younger midfields.

These were players groomed for Champions League games where quality is more important than athleticism. The more hectic nature of the Premiership meant that this needed addressing. So in came Ronaldo 19, Kleberson 24, Djemba-Djemba 22, Bellion 21 and there was promotion for Fletcher 19 from the reserves. Out went the big names of Beckham and Veron. When you make such a wholesale set of changes which include selling international superstars for largely unproven younger players you are unlikely to challenge too strongly for honours. Most commentators would agree that a midfield that is stripped of Beckham and Veron is weakened whoever is brought in to replace them.

But the new United players have done well. Winning a Champions League group with 5 wins from 6, topping the league at Christmas and easing past Aston Villa in the cup means that there is far more optimism about United this January than last. Coupled with an excellent goalkeeping recruit in Tim Howard

Neither Fletcher nor Ronaldo are as good this season as Beckham is, but they have 10-15 seasons ahead of them whereas Beckham is unlikely to extend his career for more than 3 more seasons after this one. Kleberson seems a sounder bet than Veron for the Premiership and if either Bellion or Djemba-Djemba come good it will be a bonus.

As the average age of the midfield has dropped back towards 25 the team has become more athletic, more direct and usually more effective. Ferguson’s genius, like Wenger at Arsenal, is that he can build teams where the constituent parts do not appear to be special but as a combination they exude synergy and become more than the sum of their parts. Look at the first choice sides that Liverpool and Newcastle can put out and compare them to Arsenal and Manchester United and there is nothing in it. Owen, Shearer, Henry or van Nistelrooy? Kewell, Dyer, Pires or Giggs? Gerard, Speed, Keane or Vieira? Kirkland, Given, Howard or Lehman? Hyypia, Woodgate, Ferdinand or Campbell? And on it goes.

The best teams are just that; teams. And sometimes the big egos need to leave clubs to allow teams to grow. So Arsenal said adios to Petit and Overmars and were successful in the same way that United did to Beckham and Veron. If the replacements aren’t as good that’s fine as long as the team is improved.

This new team will probably run out of steam this season and end up empty-handed – but it is still better than the team of a year ago, and has room to improve. Surely that is proof positive that Ferguson has embarked on building his third great team that will probably peak in 2005/6. These are not the actions of a manager who has lost the plot.

Antony Melvin
21/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

And so it appears to have ended in the only way that it could have done. Louis Saha's on-off transfer from Fulham to Manchester United finally looks set to go through at some point this week, with a fee of around 12 million pounds thought to be the French striker's price. However, despite the obvious spending power of the Champions, the proposed deal has still dragged on, turning into a saga that even George Lucas might lose patience with.

As anybody in football, or indeed anybody who follows football will know, ultimately everybody has their price. When Manchester United first declared their interest in the former Metz and Newcastle man Chris Coleman stood defiantly against the idea of letting his man go. He told everybody who was prepared to listen that Saha would definitely not be leaving the West London club in this January's transfer window. Coleman explained that this wasn't the right time to allow Saha to join the Old Trafford club, and for a moment there it looked as if a man in charge of a relative minnow was going to be able to stand up to the big boys for once.

Saha's reaction to Coleman's stance probably took the Premiership's youngest manager a little by surprise. The man who has netted so regularly for Fulham this season was incandescent with rage at Coleman and Fulham's decision not to allow him to speak to United, who at the time were offering only 8 million pounds for the striker's services. Saha instantly alienated himself to most if not all of the Fulham fans by declaring that he was "disgusted" by the club's insistence on keeping him, announcing in the process that it was his "dream" to play for Manchester United.

That dream now looks set to come true later this week, but the reasons for the change in attitude from Coleman and the Fulham board are as yet unclear. The improved bid might have helped temper their disappointment at losing Saha. Added to this, it must have been increasingly obvious to Coleman that he had lost the support of the player, and was unlikely to get the maximum effort from him in the future. After Saha's comments at the beginning of the transfer saga it would only have taken one or two bad games for the fans to start screaming for his head, and so a move for what is a reasonably high fee seems now to suit all parties.

What is important now for Fulham is how they re-invest the Saha money. His departure has left something of a chasm in their strike force. If Coleman needs extra incentives to dip into the transfer market to replace Saha, then he need only think of the propsect of another farcical mask-wearing celebration from Facunda Sava to persuade him to splash the cash. Alongside Sava, Coleman only has the experienced but hardly blessed Barry Hayles, or the inconsistent Luis Boa Morte to turn to for some much needed goal-power. Fulham's bid for a European place has been coming off the rails a little in the midst of the unsettling Saha affair, and Coleman needs to get his side back on track quickly. If he fails to do so, anger at the sale of Saha will merely intensify, and the former Welsh international could have a mutiny on his hands.

The sale of Saha, while it has serious implications for Fulham Football Club, also has wider implications for football as a whole. In the row over Saha Coleman accused Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson of trying to bully him into parting with his star man, and will now probably feel even more strongly that he and his club have been unfairly manhandled by a larger Premiership predator. This is not a problem that is exclusive to Manchester United, although a number of their recent transfer deals are under scrutiny at present, but is more symptomatic of how the game has changed since the Murdoch money came rolling in. The clubs at the top usually get their man, despite the resistence of their smaller rivals when it comes to transfer deals. Only when a player himself doesn't fancy the prospect do you ever see either United, Arsenal or the now manically rich Chelsea lose out on an intended transfer target. Alan Shearer's loyalty to his home town club Newcastle is one of the last fading remnants of player loyalty in an ever-changing football world.

Scott Parker looks set to follow Saha out of the small pond and into the ocean, with Chelsea his likely destination. Charlton manager Alan Curbishley has already stated that 15 million pounds would not be enough to persuade him to let the midfielder leave the Valley. However, he has been a little more cautious than Coleman in never stating that there would be no possibility of Parker making a sharp exit. Though Coleman's act of defiance was done for all the right reasons it showed a naivety that is understandable from a young manager. It is admirable to want to hold on to a star player, but sometimes you have to know when you are facing an unstoppable tide.

Fulham fans will be hoping that the tide has not turned for their club irreversibly.

Stephen Orford
19/01/2004

by : Stephen Orford

Always one for leading the way in terms of innovative new ideas, the Premiership is again at the forefront of another development in the game. Until last Sunday fans could expect to leave the stadium seething about one decision or another without even the merest hint as to what on God's Earth could be going through the referee's mind. No more.

Setting the trend was ginger-topped west-country whistler Paul Durkin. Following the televised Premiership match between Manchester United and Newcastle United at Old Trafford last Sunday Durkin gave a short interview explaining one or two of his "interesting decisions" in the match. Firstly, he protested that he did not have a good enough view of the very visible contact between Manchester United goalkeeper Tim Howard and Newcastle striker Alan Shearer. He followed that up by explaining that he had managed to see a foul commited by Mikael Silvestre in the act of hooking the ball into the Newcastle net for what might have been the winning goal. Most of the watching public saw no foul, but since Durkin had explained himself the general consensus was that there could be no complaints. You didn't have to agree with him, but you had to respect his honesty so the theory went. The fact that he had gone from a state of almost complete blindness during the penalty incident to eagle-eyed powers of observation during the disallowed goal became a side issue.

Durkin's comments have started an epidemic of referees having their say. In yesterday's games both Jeff Winter and Mark Halsey offered us their thoughts on the contentious decisions in the matches involving Chelsea and Birmingham and Aston Villa and Arsenal respectively. Winter was probably right in saying that William Gallas' awkward stumble in the Birmingham box was not worthy of a penalty. The man most famous for his role as referee in the recent revival of the BBC's Superstars series thought that the incident was nothing more than "a coming together" of players. He subsequently explained that he gave a handball against Gallas who fell onto the ball, brushing it with his hand as he did so. I may or may not be the only person who distinctly remembers Winter signalling that a push had been committed by Gallas rather than a handball, but perhaps I am just nit-picking.

Halsey's decision to allow Thierry Henry to take a quick free-kick and thus score Arsenal's first goal in a 2-0 win over Aston Villa was perhaps a little more baffling. Halsey suggested that he had offered Henry the choice between taking a quick free-kick or having the Villa wall moved back ten yards. Excuse me? Come again? Since when has this sort of choice been on the footballers menu at a free-kick around the edge of the box? Halsey claimed that he is under no obligation to tell the Aston Villa players that a free-kick is about to be taken quickly, and that there is no need for a whistle to be blown. David O'Leary wasn't too impressed, calling the decision to allow Henry to proceed so swiftly "a joke". Sadly, he wasn't really laughing and it was hard not to have some sympathy for him. Taken to the nth degree, Halsey's approach to the game may result in there being no need for him to bring his whistle with him at all when next he referees a game. Why waste all that energy blowing the whistle when you can just ask the players what they want? You can almost hear the requests pouring in. "I'll have a penalty, thanks Mark." "Make mine a 2-0 lead away at Old Trafford". "Another ten minutes injury time, please? Cheers then, mate."

All of which throws widely open to question the actual benefits of having referees come out and give their explanations when the game is over. There is an argument which suggests that the words of wisdom from the referee offer a worthwhile insight into his decision making progress. It is argued that this helps players, managers and fans alike to understand where it all went wrong. However, until the seemingly far off introduction of video replays at football matches this does not change the fact that quite often referees do still get muddled up, and that their decisions are bound to leave some fans feeling a little bewildered. Do Villa fans really feel any better this Monday morning because of Halsey's explanation? Was Paul Durkin really being honest about the Silvestre "no-goal" or was he just levelling things up after his penalty howler earlier in the game? Does Jeff Winter care what we think or does he just like being on television?

Aside from whether we believe what we hear from the merry whistle blowers, there is another issue to be considered here. Should referees feel obliged to explain themselves in front of the cameras every time there is a debatable decision in a game? Players, especially those in the 80% mediocre Premiership, make mistakes on a regular basis. None of those players are ever asked to talk to Claire Tomlinson about why they hoofed the ball into their own net spectacularly from 20 yards, or why they failed to hit the net from two yards despite the absence of the goalkeeper. Managers too are spared the ordeal of having to explain why they took off their star striker for a defender despite being 4-0 down, or why they insist on instructing their players to wallop the ball up to the 'big lad' up front. However, referees it seems are more culpable for their errors than anybody else in the game. The philosophy now is that if we cannot have justice at the time of the incident, then we at least want to hear a feeble excuse as to why not. More and more, players and managers want to be made to feel as if their latest catastrophe is not their fault, even if they know it is.

by : Duncan Collingwood

In light of the recent club versus country rows regarding the African Nations Cup, I think it is time for FIFA to sit down, and sort this problem out. The most recent case involving Freddie Kanoute has left Tottenham Hotspur without their top goalscorer, at a time when they are battling to stay in the top division. Under new FIFA ruling Kanoute is now eligible to play for his fathers country of birth Mali, despite having represented the French U21 national team. This gave Kanoute an opportunity to play at senior level, as the French team had such a wealth of talent, Kanoute never thought he would never get a chance to represent them. The new ruling stated that playing U21 level would not disqualify you of representing a different country at senior level. This left him with a hard decision to make, but why should a player have to choose between playing for their country of their club?

In the African Nations Cup which starts in January this year 2004, there are a total of 160 players from European clubs travelling to the tournament in Tunisia. Sixty-four of those players play for French clubs, 23 for English, 21 in Belgium, 10 in Turkey and Italy, and a further 36 players spread across countries like Russia, Sweden, Greece, Portugal, Switzerland, Scotland, Norway, Bulgaria, Denmark, Romania, Poland and the Ukraine. There are 16 teams competing for the African Nations Cup this time, each squad is based on 22 players, so in total that’s 308 players in the competition. So that means 51% of them play for European clubs, it’s the equivalent to 14 starting eleven’s. Surely this number of players must have a negative impact in their domestic countries, maybe not the likes of Romania, but just look at France
or England.

Is this not a valid case? There is definitely something here for FIFA to think about. Firstly, why not have a winter break throughout Europe in January, this would allow players to freely go and represent their countries. Another option would be to have the tournament every four years rather than every two, the same as the European Championships. This would cause fewer problems, as it would be less frequent. There is also the case for moving the tournament to the summer, however, some of the countries would be too hot to play in during the day. You might say that the players are African so surely they would be used to the temperatures, but as previously mentioned 51% play in Europe. So week in week out, they play in completely different climates. Also a number of the African players in Europe moved to Europe when they were very young, and so have not really grown up in the countries of birth, and are not used to the conditions. Playing in the summer may also mean that some countries may not even get considered because they are considerably hotter than the rest, such as Tunisia for example, this years hosts. But why not evening games?

If these sort of player and club rows keep happening there may come a point when European clubs will decide that they will not buy African players because of it. What a waist of talent that would be, especially as a lot of these players are key figures for their European clubs. Look no further than Kanoute, Jay-Jay Okocha (Bolton), Bobo Balde (Celtic), Samuel Eto’o (Mallorca), Steven Pienaar (Ajax), Obafemi Martins (Inter), Julius Aghahowa (Shakhtar Donetsk) or Geremi Njitap (Chelsea). It’s up to FIFA now to sort this problem out, because it’s not going to go away. It’s simply not fair on the players or clubs.

Duncan Collingwood
17/01/04

by : James Loose

In recent weeks the media’s eyes have been focused on Tottenham, as the will they, won’t they relegation saga unfolds before David Pleat and his team. But an area of speculation that has been largely ignored in favor of the struggle to stay in the Premiership is who will be in the manager’s seat next season? If the press releases coming from White Hart Lane are to be believed (and who’s ever heard of those being wrong?) then the club has a man in their sights and seem fairly confident that he will come.

So who will it be? The early front runner was Celtic’s Martin O’Neil, with Celtic running away with the league and his contract up at the end of the season it was clear to all die hard supporters that he was on his way to London, he won’t be. It is clear that Scottish football can’t supply the kind of challenge that one of the countries top managers will undoubtedly crave, and it is logical that he will leave eventully. However, there is no real reason why he would leave a team who are progressing well in Europe, and are top of their domestic league for a club who may well be in the first division when he arrives, there’s a challenge and there’s professional suicide.

The next manager put up for consideration was Wales boss Mark Hughes, following his sides failure to qualify for Euro 2004 many pundits have said that he could be looking for a club job, and where better to start than a Premiership side? While Hughes could be the man to steer Spurs back to their glory days it is not very likely. Yet another of Britain’s excellent young managers, he has show his desire to take Wales to their first championship finals for more decades than the fans care to remember, and won’t leave unless he’s pushed. The final stumbling block is the club them selves, it is unlikely they will want to appoint someone who has no experience of domestic management, despite his obvious talent.

There has been some, limited talk of appointing a foreign man, while this has worked for teams like Chelsea and Arsenal, it is a tactic unlikely to appeal, remember Gross? If Spurs are going to bring in a manager with the club in its current state it seems that they will have to find one who is out of work and looking to make a return at any level. There is a huge list of people who fit the bill, but very few the club will actually consider hiring. Peter Reid has been in this situation twice before taking over a struggling side and trying to turn them around, and so would be the perfect man for the job, if he had succeeded. His outrageous sacking by Leeds aside, Reid’s last few years at Sunderland showed that he may not be a manager who can take a team to the top half of the league. Leaving the facts to one side, the fans would not provide him with a warm welcome, and with things as they are the last thing the club needs is to lose the faith of their supporters.

Sadly for all concerned popularity amongst the fans could also rule out Glen Roeder. Staying with the out of work theme the final manager for consideration is Terry Venables. Another man to be shown the door by Leeds for no firm reason he could prove to be the Spurs savior. But as with so many of the rumors this looks like another dead end, the decision-making men won’t want to bring in someone who has been out of the game (Leeds aside) for so long, and may be wary of his punditry interfering with his main duties.

Well that’s that then, after dismissing almost every eligible manager who will be the new boss? There is for me only one real choice, David Pleat. Not only is he popular with the fans, he has helped to turn the club around, and could be the only man who will willingly take the job even if they do go down. It would also make sense of the press release that Tottenham have a good chance of getting their man (and who’s ever heard of a press release being wrong?)

James Loose
17/01/2004

by : Dave Thrilling

Dave Thrilling marvels at how Dion Dublin has relaunched his Aston Villa career.

The recent mini revival of Aston Villa has been due in no small part to a veteran striker turned emergency defender. If speculation is to be believed, this summer Dion Dublin will have the choice to extend his current deal with the midlands outfit or finish his career with a crack at the Champions League with Glasgow Rangers.

Dublin who turns 35 in April started the season as Villa’s sixth choice striker but is now considered as a defensive rock that David O’Leary cannot afford to leave out. Not only does Dion compliment the group of potentially exciting youngsters breaking through the ranks at Villa Park, but he also adds a leadership quality that Villa so dearly lacked in the first part of the season.

It is truly amazing that a player abused by the home crowd every time he made a mistake just 12 months ago is now a cult hero with the Holte End faithful. However, it is even more remarkable that Dublin is still playing at the top level at all after a life threatening injury in 1999. A seemingly innocuous collision during a game against Sheffield Wednesday resulted in surgery on fractured neck vertebrae. On his return to first team action it was clear that such a traumatic experience had affected him both mentally and physically. Despite the winning penalty in the FA Cup semi final shoot out which took Villa to their first final in 43 years, his aerial power had almost disappeared and he was a far cry from the player who so nearly forced his way into Glen Hoddle’s 1998 World Cup squad.

Dublin became an instant hit at Villa after scoring seven times in his first three appearances. John Gregory admitted that he planned to play him in defence after a few years. Gregory is a figure of the past but Dublin is certainly part of O’Leary’s future plans. Indeed, O’Leary even suggested that Dublin was “a calming influence” on the hot-headed Alpay when asked to comment on the solid central defensive partnership they formed at Stamford Bridge earlier this season. After Alpay’s departure and a brief spell for full back Mark Delaney at centre half, Dublin has developed a formidable pairing with Olof Mellberg that has left the consistent Ronny Johnsen to settle for a substitute role in many of the last few matches. Dublin may lack pace but his reading of the game is exquisite. In addition, his presence and organisation skills have helped to propel Villa towards mid table safety. He has kept the likes of Beattie, Rooney and Viduka quiet in front of goal and even has the audacity to casually play the ball about at the back in tight areas. Dublin is certainly no Paul Mcgrath but he appears to be just as popular with a certain section of home supporters.

When Graham Taylor returned for his second spell as manager Dublin’s days at Villa Park looked numbered. A severe lack of form suggested that he was too old for the rigours of Premiership football. Peter Crouch and Marcus Allback were signed and Dublin was loaned to Millwall. Bizarrely this reignited Dublin’s career. He performed well at Millwall and returned to Villa Park a hero after scoring against Birmingham in the First Division play-off semi final. Millwall missed out on promotion, which meant they were unable to afford Dublin on a permanent basis. Despite starting the 2002-3 season down the pecking order Dublin rediscovered his form, forced his way back in the first team and ended the season as Villa’s top goalscorer. His only blemish was the infamous head butt on Robbie Savage which some may argue is the act of a hero.

The ex-Cambridge and Coventry City favourite has overcome setbacks before. He was released by Norwich without getting a first team game and a big money move to Manchester United didn’t work out after a broken leg forced him into several months on the sidelines. By the time he had recovered Mark Hughes and Eric Cantona had formed one of the most formidable striking partnerships in the country. Indeed, Sir Alex may best remember Dublin for possessing the largest manhood he had ever seen in the dressing room, at least according to Ferguson himself.

If Dublin continues to perform consistently until May, David O’Leary will have no hesitation in offering him a new deal. Perhaps, the lure of Champions League football may be too good to decline. For now though after a difficult few months for the “emergency” defender it must be music to his ears to hear the Villa fans chanting his name again. After all, he is used to music in his ears – his father was a member of 60s pop group Showaddywaddy!!

by : David Hulott

It’s probably just coincidence, but having gone down just about every conceivable avenue to destroy Leeds United as a club, I’ve an uncomfortable feeling that those that have held power at Elland Road in recent years have decided to start looking at opportunities to replicate the story elsewhere in football.

Peter Ridsdale is already in the early stages of weaving his financial wizardry at Barnsley, Southampton boss Gordon Strachan was no sooner linked with the manager’s job at Leeds than he decided to resign over health concerns (quite possibly related) and Nottingham Forest hit a dismal run of form from the very moment that Paul Hart was installed as favourite to replace Peter Reid in the West Yorkshire managerial merry-go-round.

After reaching the play-off semi-finals last term, Forest started the current campaign among the pre-season favourites for promotion. Such seemingly well-placed optimism has long since disappeared though, with the club currently hovering just above the bottom three in the table after 12-league games without a win – their worst league position for 50 years. With their form in freefall, there are now genuine fears of relegation to contend with and it was reported that the meeting between Hart and chairman Nigel Doughty last week was to bring the manager’s two-and-a-half-year tenure to a close.

In the event, Hart is still in charge at the City Ground, although unless results pick up with immediate effect, his next little chat with Doughty is likely to end with a P45 winging its way to the Hart household. There is already talk that Glenn Hoddle, a friend of Doughty, could be lined up to take over the managerial duties – that’s sure to help team morale!

Luck certainly hasn’t been with Hart this season, with Doughty and the Forest board seemingly lacking any real ambition for the club when it comes to investing in players and in imposing a strict salary cap. In addition, last season’s prolific David Johnson has missed almost the entire season with a broken leg and key defender Michael Dawson has been sidelined for much of the campaign with glandular fever and a torn hamstring. In Johnson’s absence, the sale of strike partner Marlon Harewood to West Ham United in November for £500,000 did little to help. The depth and quality of Hart’s squad was also badly hit by the loss of Jim Brennan, Riccardo Scimeca and Jack Lester on Bosman deals over the summer, largely as a result of the strict salary cap imposed by the board.

In truth, the board have given Hart more funds than some of his peers, but Forest’s major acquisitions since the summer have yet to convince. Almost £1.5 million was spent on Gareth Taylor and Marlon King, but neither has yet to suggest that they are capable of weighing in with the goals provided by Johnson or Harewood. At the other end, the defence looks badly in need of reinforcements, with youngsters like Wes Morgan and Gregor Robertson plying their trade alongside 39-year old Des Walker.

The main plus point this season has been the form of Andy Reid, with a big-money move to the Premiership seemingly inevitable in the summer, if not in the current transfer window. It will be vital that a hefty percentage of any fee from the sale of Reid is given to the manager to bolster a wafer thin squad that is heavily reliant on young, inexperienced players.

It should be remembered how much Hart has done to balance the books and bring young talent through the ranks at the club, following on from the dismal reign of David Platt. Where Platt was given little short of an open chequebook (anyone remember Salvatore Matrecano, Gianluca Petrachi and Moreno Mannini?), Hart has largely been forced to rely on developing players through the youth academy, in the knowledge that they will be sold on as soon as any serious offers come in (Jermaine Jenas and David Prutton being the two that stand out).

With Johnson and Dawson both seemingly close to returning to the side, an upturn in results should be well within their capacity. It’s to be hoped that the board have enough foresight to ensure that Hart is still there to lead the recovery. There will be plenty of interested parties looking to give Hart a job should the axe fall at the City Ground.

David Hulott
17/01/2004

Thanks to Tom Lewers for his correction.

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks about Emile Heskey leaving Liverpool.

Emile Heskey is one of the most often criticised Liverpool strikers in living memory, but I am still surprised at speculation linking him with a move away from the Anfield club in this January's transfer window.

It has been suggested that the England man has been the subject of an approach from Middlesbrough, and the implication was that Liverpool might be prepared to listen to offers. The surprising aspect of all this, if it is true, is the timing of it. With Liverpool's squad currently decimated by injury particularly in the striking department, you would think that they would be keen to hold on to a player who they have always publicly defended in the face of persistent criticism from fans and media alike.

Michael Owen has been in and out of the Liverpool side since October with a series of nagging injuries, while Milan Baros has not played since breaking his ankle in a match with Blackburn Rovers early in the season. Selling Heskey now would leave an even bigger chasm in Liverpool's strike force as they pursue Champions' League qualification and remain in the running for honours in both the FA and UEFA Cups.

The irony of all of this speculation is that Heskey is now probably enjoying his best run of form in a Liverpool jersey for a long time. In the continued absence of Owen and Baros he has led the line admirably, if not exactly skillfully, in a team that has often looked bewildered and lost. Against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge last week Heskey was the proverbial tower of strength, expertly setting up the winning goal for Lord Lucan, er, sorry, Bruno Cheyrou. Now though, it seems that setting up winning goals for the new Zinedine Zidane (Houllier's words, not mine) is not enough for the former Leicester City striker. Nor is it enough for many Liverpool fans, who have often cited Heskey's modest goal-scoring record at Anfield as evidence of his failure.

Earlier in the week Heskey muttered something about maybe having to leave Anfield to secure regular first team football. Like Nicky Butt at Manchester United, Heskey is obviously fearing for his international prospects if he is left to kick his heels on the sidelines when Owen and Baros regain full fitness. It is questionable, however, whether a move to Middlesbrough would be the wisest move to assist Heskey's international credentials. Like Heskey, Middlesbrough are noted for not having hit the back of the net since the last time Northern Ireland scored a goal, and it is unlikely that he will be the grateful recipient of a plethora of goal-scoring chances at the Riverside. It seems that the best thing that Emile Heskey can do to guarantee himself a place in the England team is to send the boys round to Wayne Rooney's house.

Emile Heskey does look certain to leave Liverpool at some point in the near future, but it would probably be in the club's interests to wait until the summer to off-load the player. Djibriel Cisse looks set to arrive at Anfield from Auxerre at the end of the season and if Liverpool can persuade Michael Owen that they are worth a few more years of his career then Heskey's position does start to look unstable. Add a fit and hungry Milan Baros into the mix and a move looks inevitable for Heskey.

As an aside, Djimi Traore has also been making noises about a move away from Liverpool. So that's two down by the summer. Now, who else is on my list? Salif Diao, anyone?

by : Scott Stephens

Ring announcer: Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at 15 stones and standing at 5ft 10, wearing the blue of Birmingham, it’s the one and only Steve ‘The Bruiser’ Bruce.
The Birmingham crowd howl in appreciation as the former Norwich and Man Utd defender walks through the entrance as The White Stripes ‘Seven Nation Army’ fills the stadium.
Ring announcer: And introducing his opponent…
The home crowds cheers turn instantly to a crescendo of boos.
Ring announcer: Fighting out of the red corner, weighing in at a trim 12 stones and standing tall at 5ft 11, wearing the white Villa away strip it’s David ‘The Irish Assassin’ O’Leary.
Martin: I haven’t heard Birmingham this vocal since Wembley got the nod for the National Stadium!
Andy: I wouldn’t go there if I were you, especially considering where we are.
O’Leary steps out with a face like thunder as House Of Pain’s superb ‘Jump Around’ fills the air.
Martin: Big Dave doesn’t look happy.
Andy: You wouldn’t either if your chairman was Deadly Doug Ellis. He’s probably told O’Leary that he’s selling Angel for a new motor!
Martin: Whatever it is he’s certainly pumped up for this.
The referee calls both of them over to the middle and tells them the rules of the bout while the fans generate an almighty sound. Bruce and O’Leary shake hands and the bell rings.
Martin: And we’re off!
Straight away O’Leary is on the attack and is throwing a series of body shots at Bruce but Bruce covers up like a professional boxer, not feeling a thing.
Andy: Well we knew Bruce was defensive minded but this is something else.
Martin: The boy learned how to defend from Fergie but maybe Bruce is responsible for getting Fergie into boxing?
Andy: Don’t be stupid. As if you’re going to teach your boss, who already has a slight mental disposition and a habit of throwing things at players in the dressing room, how to box. That would be suicidal.
Back in the ring O’Leary is in a right sweat following his little punch session. Realising his punches are having no effect he opts for an alternative form of attack … he goes for the legs.
Martin: Eat your heart out Bruce Lee! That was an awesome leg sweep by the Irish Assassin.
Andy: It certainly was and just remember the age-old adage … it doesn’t matter how tall or big they are they’re all the same size when they’re on their back.
Martin: Except for Vanessa Feltz!
Andy: Yeah I was going to mention her.
Martin: And that thirty stones darts champion Andy Fordham.
Andy: Yeah ok, look, it’s only a saying, don’t take things so flaming literally.
Suddenly O’Leary grabs them both by the throat.
O’Leary: Listen you punks. You’re getting paid to commentate on me being crowned King of Birmingham, not about fat people.
Andy: Ok, ok, sorry Dave. It’s all his fault.
Martin: No it wasn’t, you started it.
O’Leary bangs their heads together.
O’Leary: Look I’ve got more important things to worry about than you two so just do what you’re told ok.
Martin: Yes boss.
Andy: Yes Dave.
O’Leary: That’s better.
Andy: DUCK!
Bruce appears behind O’Leary with a steel chair in his hands. O’Leary quick as a flash goes to ground but Martin is looking up to the sky for a duck.
WHACK!
Martin Tyler’s cranium is cracked with an ill-timed chair shot from Steve Bruce and the crowd takes a deep intake of breath.
Andy: Oh my God. Look what you’ve done to my partner…
Martin is slumped over the commentary table with blood gushing out of his head.
Bruce looks on aghast as he realises what he’s done. Suddenly O’Leary smacks Bruce square in the spuds bringing the Birmingham boss down to his knees quicker than Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office.
Andy: Serves you right you crazy fool. Here take this as well.
Andy throws a massive right hand at Bruce which sends him careering to the ground in a heap.
Paramedics rush down to ringside and quickly take Martin Tyler out of the arena.
Andy: Well what am I meant to do? I’m all on my own and this fight hasn’t really got started yet. Is there anyone in the back that can help me out? I hope Martin’s ok?
David O’Leary looks at Andy and stares to say ‘will you just shut up and get on with it?’
O’Leary jumps on the tearful Bruce and begins placing him in a figure four leg lock.
Andy: In all of the six previous brawls that I’ve had the pleasure to commentate on I think this is the first time that I have ever seen an actual wrestling hold!
Bruce is writhing in agony while O’Leary tries to sit up to get more leverage.
Suddenly a figure is seen running down to ringside.
Andy: Finally some help for me out here.
The crowd cheer like the Blues have just scored a goal and it becomes clear when the person gets into view.
Andy: Yes! Jasper Carrott’s here! Where’s Nigel Kennedy, give me Kennedy!
Jasper throws himself into the ring and jumps on the Villa boss. O’Leary breaks the hold and tries to cover up from Carrott’s assault but to no avail.
Andy: This is appalling… Five minutes I’ve been waiting for a new co-commentator and there’s still no sign of it. Still I’m on for my bet!
Andy looks up the ramp and sees another figure running down.
Andy: Ah this looks promising.
The St Andrews crowd start booing as the mystery figure is revealed as none other than Villa’s biggest celebrity fan, violinist Nigel Kennedy with his trustee violin under his arm.
Andy: Yes, yes, yes! C’mon my boy!
Kennedy crawls into the ring and smashes his violin over Carrott’s head. The crowd gasp.
Andy: That’s gotta hurt!
Carrott staggers to the ground and collapses in a heap on the canvas when out of nowhere Bruce spears the Violinist to the ground to rapturous applause from the home fans.
Andy: That was like a train crash!
Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth and Bruce gets to his feet when suddenly another figure is seen running down to ringside.
Andy: Please be Mr Risdale, £15,000 grand would be lovely … Oh what’s he doing here?
The Birmingham fans howl in anger as Deadly Doug Ellis makes his way to the squared circle. Bruce clenches his fist and goes to swing for him but Ellis holds his hands up and points towards O’Leary in the corner. Deadly Doug strolls towards his manager, looks down at him, and wallops him on the side of the head.
Andy: What the…
The home fans go mad, not believing what they’ve witnessed. Deadly Doug continues his onslaught on his manager when another two rather large figures come dashing to ringside.
Andy: This really is starting to turn into the Generation Game!
Peter Risdale emerges and runs down to ringside to help the Villa chairman attack O’Leary while Bruce looks on startled.
Andy: Yes, yes, yes! Now all we need is that little minx Brady to show her face.
Almost as soon as Risdale hits the ring another two figures race towards the ring. The lights shine on to the two figures to reveal former Villa bosses Ron Atkinson and Graham Taylor looking extremely annoyed.
Andy: It looks like tonight is the perfect night for these former Villa bosses to get their own back on the chairman from hell.
Ron and Graham run straight for Deadly Doug, taking him right off his feet.
Andy: Unbelievable! … I’ve finally got a new co-commentator and it’s none other than Scarface himself, Alan Hansen.
Alan Hansen puts on his headset.
Alan: We’ll have less of that you Toffee scum. You’ve coped well on your own. Obviously you’re not ready for the big step-up to presenting on your own but you did well.
Andy: Cheers.
Back in the ring, Big Ron and Graham Taylor have splattered Deadly Doug’s nose over his face and Peter Risdale has ran out of the ring scared for his life. Ron and Taylor start tying rope to Doug’s hands and feet.
Andy: What on earth are they doing to the poor guy?
Alan: It’s just as well I’m here because it’s quite obvious what’s going on.
Andy: What?
Alan: They’re going to stretch him until he’s torn in two.
Andy: Oh yeah… obviously!
Big Ron makes sure that his end is firmly secured before attaching it to a huge shire horse, and Graham Taylor does like wise. Suddenly a huge bang is heard and both horses bolt for it.
Andy: Oh no… that’s gruesome!
Alan: Aye it is quite bad, you’d never get this on Match of the Day!
Doug Ellis has been torn in two and his organs are splattered around ringside along with his stale blood.
Graham Taylor: I do like that!
Taylor and Big Ron leave the ring with their arms held aloft victoriously as Bruce and O’Leary lock horns again. O’Leary swings Bruce into the ring before connecting with a glorious drop kick.
Andy: That was perfectly executed.
Alan: It was good but it wasn’t perfect. Surely Bruce knew what was coming.
O’Leary picks up Bruce and throws him into the ropes again.
Andy: Another drop kick…
Alan: No he’s gonna hit him with a powerbomb.
O’Leary lifts Bruce up and slams him to the ground with an amazing amount of force.
Alan: Told you.
Andy: How did you know it wasn’t going to be another drop kick?
Alan: Think about it. Vary your attack and you’ve got a better chance of surprise.
With O’Leary having the upper hand it looks like Bruce is there for the taking when suddenly a voluptuous brunette is seen strutting it down to ringside.
Andy: Oh yes, yes, yes. Please tell me this is who I think it is…
Alan: Why don’t you try Karen Brady!
Andy: I’d love to but I don’t think her husband Peschisolido would be too pleased!
Sure enough it is the Birmingham Managing Director making her way to the ring.
Alan: Oh isn’t she just looking fantastic tonight? I have never seen her look better to be honest.
Andy: Whatever you say Al. I’m planning on how to spend my money.
Karen steps up on the ramp and distracts O’Leary by lifting up her skirt revealing the flesh of her inner thigh.
Alan: Oh my! What a lucky boy David is.
David moves towards her and places his arms around her waist.
Andy: Oh no. Are we going to see a cross-city relationship here?
Alan: I hope not, come here darling! Come and get a bit of Scotch in ya!
Andy: The Zulus are getting restless. This doesn’t look good at all.
O’Leary then plants his thin lips on to Brady and starts gliding his fingers through her hair when suddenly he pulls her hair off to reveal the glowing golden locks of Birmingham’s antagonistic midfielder Robbie Savage!
Andy bursts out laughing while Alan looks on mortified, but not as half as bad as O’Leary.
Andy: O’Leary looks like he has just died and gone to hell.
Alan: Well he’s half way there.
Out of nowhere Bruce lamps O’Leary with an iron bar and the big Irishman stands there stunned.
Andy: Oh no, the Zulus are making there move. I can’t look.
The Zulus start charging towards the ring, life up their spears, and throw them at O’Leary.
Alan: I knew these Brummies were hard up but surely they could have afforded a few quid to go and buy themselves Kerplunk instead of using O’Leary.
Every single spear pierces the Villa boss’s body and the former Leeds manager is stuck to the spot.
Andy: This is horrible.
Bruce and Savage begin pulling the spears out of O’Leary waiting for his head to fall to the ground in true Kerplunk style.
Andy: I can’t believe I have just witnessed this. By the way, what on earth are you doing here tonight?
Alan: I was here to break the bad news to you.
Andy: What bad news? It’s not Martin is it?
Alan: No, you know how last time you mentioned the EU questioning you for having a monopoly on Premiership Managers Brawl and that some matches might be leased to other broadcasters?
Andy: Yes…
Alan: Well we’ve won the rights to the next brawl between two fiery Scots Graeme Sounes of Blackburn and David Moyes of Everton.
Andy: But what am I going to do with myself?
Alan: Go and have a wee break, recharge your batteries.
Andy: I suppose I could go on holiday with my winnings.
Alan: What winnings?
Andy: The winnings from my … Savage? It was Savage not Brady. That longhaired girl? I’m going to kill him!
Andy throws off his headset and chases Robbie Savage out of the stadium.
Alan: Well that’s the last you’ll see of him for a couple of weeks. By the way news has just reached us that Martin Tyler is also stable in hospital. Take it easy pal. But next time on Premiership Managers Brawl it will be an awesome contest with a Scottish touch as Graeme Souness and David Moyes hook up live on squarefootball.net tv with Gary Lineker, John Motson, Trevor Brooking and myself in attendance. Until then fight fans, peace.
Scott Stephens investigates football and religion.

Having grown up and lived in a very multicultural area of London, I have been exposed to many forms of religion. Personally, I am not religious and would like to avoid the clich of saying that 'football is my religion'. I'll leave the notion of what qualifies something to be a religion, to those better placed to do so. If it is faith and worship, then I'm sure that most reading this article, find that through football. I have a Church; only mine doesn't have a roof, the 'pews' are plastic and it has a 110 by 71 yards piece of turf in the middle!

However, I'm not trying to divide the two phenomenon's but rather see the amazing ways in which the two crossover; agree and disagree. One particular image that will stick in my mind for a long time was walking home from a party late one Friday night and cutting across my local common. Having not have drunk that night, I knew my eyes were not deceiving me as I made out two 11 a-side teams of Orthodox Jews, in full religious dress, chasing a football around in complete darkness! I couldn't help but to enquire as to what was going on! One of the goalkeeper's informed me that an important religious festival had just ended and they wanted to celebrate it with a 'kick-about'. Unbelievable! Anyone for a game on Christmas morning?

I also remember being at school and college, where some Muslim friends would 'skip' Friday prayers to come and play football at lunchtime and can also recall a boy who got withdrawn from my Sunday League Team by his mum for missing Church too often!

Religion is however, a major part of football for many of the world's top players. We are very accustomed to players, especially from Spain and South America, 'crossing' themselves as they run out on to the pitch. But for what are they crossing you have to ask? Is it a plea to keep evil spirits at bay or a plea to score a hat-trick. For many players, it is a matter of course, but with all due respect, the same players wouldn't 'cross' themselves as they entered a shop or a restaurant would they? I think it's the hat-trick they're after!

In many countries, religion is crucial to a team's pre match routine, especially at National level. It is common for South American teams to bring a priest into the dressing room, prior to kick off who will read sections of the bible as all the players hold hands, often shedding tears in an amazing display of emotion and team solidarity.

Before each game of their very successful world cup campaign in 2002, members of the Senegalese team would read sections from the Muslim holy book ' the Qu'ran, in an attempt to get each other fired up for the game in hand. The teams shock victory in their first game against France was marked by amazing scenes in the country's capital, Dakar, where only a handful of worshippers attended a Friday prayer at the city's Grand Mosque; all clearly watching the game, a fact welcomed and encouraged by the mosque's Imam. What 's more, the teams French coach, Bruno Metsu, actually converted to the religion as his team progressed to the knockout stages.

French World Cup winner Emmanuel Petit, turned to Zen Buddhism to help him through his footballing career. At the tender age of 17, his older brother Olivier died on the pitch whilst playing for the French side, Dieppe. Olivier had a fatal brain haemorrhage after heading a ball. Petit went on of course to score a goal in the world cup final and believed that his brother had a big role to play in the goal and duly dedicated the goal to him.

Perhaps the most amazing crossover between religion and football began a couple of years ago, when a group of local residents in Rosario, Argentina founded the first 'Maradonian church' or the 'Hand of God Church'. With an original congregation of about 50, the Religion now boasts upwards of 20,000 members who live in the year 43 AD (after Diego) and whose most holy of days is celebrated on the 30th of October, Diego Maradonna's birthday. Members of the congregation are very offended when people suggest that the religion is purely humorous as they feel as if Maradonna has created such exposure for their country and for the whole of South America. Alejandro Veron, the religion's founder has said that 'just because it's a new religion doesn't mean it should be laughed at. It may have not have such legendary tales as other religions but it is after all a sporting religion.'

As I said in my introduction, I wanted not to separate religion and football but rather see how the two crossover and work together. Clearly here, with the notion of a 'sporting religion', they are one and the same thing.

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks that the biggest south London transfer target is at Charlton and not Fulham.

Forget about the furore surrounding the future of Louis Saha, the most important transfer deal of the current window could involve Charlton Athletic midfielder Scott Parker.

Parker is said to be the subject of a big money bid from those crazy rich kids at Chelsea. It has been a while since Roman Abramovich has been able to wave his fat wallet around, and it is no surprise that he is eager to add Parker to his collection of stars. However, I would question the wisdom of moving from a club where first team football is all but guaranteed, to becoming just another pawn on Claudio Ranieri's mad-cap chess board of 'champions'.

I understand Parker's interest in a transfer of this magnitude. As well as Charlton have done this season, it is still fair to suggest that the young England man will not be able to fulfill all of his footballing ambitions at the club. If he has designs on regular Champions' League football and a slot in the England side then you would think that a move away from the Valley would seem to be his only option. Charlton fans will rightly feel that this is unfair. Another case of the fat, brainless bullies pushing the little blokes around the playground until they have stolen all of their lunch money. Unfortunately, it is now becoming more and more the way of the football world.

Cynics may question my motivation for this one, but I suggest that Parker should wait until the summer to move from Charlton, and that when he does go he should find himself a club at which he will be a major influence. A club like Liverpool, perhaps? The reds midfield is crying out for a slice of the midfield creativity that Parker offers. One of the most improved players in England over the last few years, Parker could be the missing ingredient that allows Liverpool to finally mount that long-awaited title challenge. If Parker's signature could be secured the Anfield club would then only need to add Robbie Keane, Captain America, David Blaine and Jesus Christ to their squad to become a realistic Premiership contender.

Whether Liverpool have the money or the foresight to sign Parker is hugely open to question. If not Anfield, perhaps the boy who famously showed off his ball juggling skills in a McDonald's advert during the 1994 World Cup could attract the interest of Manchester United. The all-conquering, self-proclaimed biggest club in the world are currently employing one Philip Neville in a midfield role. Though Neville has filled that role adequately enough, Sir Alex Ferguson is surely a man who strives constantly for improvement. Neville may be good enough in the eyes of Sir Alex to see off Nicky Butt, but whether he could hold off a young, talented midfield prospect like Parker for too long is questionable. Don't rule out a late attempt from Old Trafford to snatch Charlton's prize asset from under the noses of Chelsea.

All of this speculation has clearly ruffled Parker's feathers a little. The indications are that he is interested in a move to Chelsea who, at this point, are still the only club to go public with their interest in the player. Parker's head has obviously been turned. So much so that Charlton manager Alan Curbishley has ruled the player out of this weekend's trip to Everton after deciding yesterday that he was 'not in the right frame of mind' to attend training.

The latest rumours have Joe Cole heading to the Valley in an audacious swap-deal. Cole has only been at Stamford Bridge for a matter of months, but has struggled to make the impact that he had perhaps hoped for when he joined from West Ham United. If nothing else, this should serve as a warning to Parker about the possible pitfalls of joining the Russian revolution. However, with Alan Curbishley already stating that 15 million pounds wouldn't be enough to persuade him to part with his man, Chelsea may yet find themselves in the enviable position of being the only club with enough money to sign him.

by : Steve Heald

Hello! It’s good to be back in Blighty…I think…Harold Flatcap here back in the UK and catching up on the lost days of my life.

I don’t know how long I was under the clutches of the evil cult, worshipping
at the altar of Uncle Sepp every day. Time had no meaning in our collective. All we lived for were our daily preaching from Sepp before entering the world in our regulation tight grey suit spreading the gospel of the cult known as FIFA. Preaching to the unconverted about larger goal posts, 4 quarters in a match, leagues with 16 teams. Showing the way forward to the non-believers. They laughed, they refused to listen, but Sepp told us not to worry. Come judgement day we would have secured enough votes from African banana republics to ensure we could fight on into another day.

At times my past attempted to catch up with me. A stranger would approach me and shout

“Flatcap! Remember that bloody tackle you did on me in 1962? Left me with severe whiplash, one knee permanently facing the wrong direction and a speech im-im-im-I-I-I-I-impediment…”

or

“Bloody hell Flatcap, after the mess you made managing our club I thought you were barred from ever setting foot in this town again”.

But I now realised I was brainwashed. All those automatons you see on TV whenever FIFA are handling a major game or a world cup draw. They all surrendered their soul to the cult of FIFA. I know that now. Thanks to the regular therapy I receive from Dr Ludovic Frankshurer in his practice above the Dog and Partridge public House on Walthamstow high street (next door to the mucky book shop and the tatooist) I now can see how I’ve been living my life as a sham for the last few months. I’m lucky to escape with my life, not many do.

I’m very groggy and still attempting to piece my mind back together. Dr Frankshurer says it will take a long time. Catching up on news events is confusing. Back in the cult I remember catching the odd news item about England being world cup winners. Whenever such a story would appear on the television or on the radio Uncle Sepp would switch off the electrical item providing the information forthwith. Is it really 2006? Did Svenn lead us to the promised land? Why is Sepp so keen to shield us from this info? It’s as if he was jealous of England winning the cup. I remember seeing a tickertape parade on TV for the England team but didn’t recognise any of the players. It is so confusing.

Dr Frankshurer told me to seek refuge in the sanctuary of old friends. I looked back on my football career and thought about who to look up. I concluded the best place to start was with my good buddy Saddam Hussain.
Regular readers of my bulletin will recall that I once had a spell as manager of the Iraqi national football side, but Saddam informed me that regrettably he had to sack me as I was simply too brutal on the players for his liking. However we remained on friendly terms so I felt surprised when I called his number at his Palace and heard a young US marine-style voice pick up the phone and bellow

“Hello. This is Private 26548 DC McLoughlin answering the phone sir!”.

When I asked if Saddam was in I was met with a barrage of expletives and warned to ‘stop taking the goddam p**s’. So I’m a little confused there, as generally Saddam didn’t care much for Americans.

Dr Frankshurer told me that I need to perhaps get back into the previous line of work I was in before becoming a member of the cult. Thanks to his revolutionary hypnotherapy techniques he was able to ascertain I was an extremely successful football manager at Manchester City. So as City seem to be sliding down the table I decided to go knock on the Chairman’s door and make him aware that when the time was right for Kevin Keegan to walk out I was ready to re-fill the breech.

I entered City’s impressive new stadium and walked down the imposing corridors to a door marked ‘Chairman’ and nervously tapped on the door. Upon the shout ‘enter!’ I walked in and noticed the chairman sat on a leather swivel chair, his back to me. He instantly swivelled round and I was alarmed to see the chairman of Manchester City was Roger De Courcey. Or it could have been Nookie Bear, who was perched upon Roger’s knee, mad eyes swivelling in all directions. Roger noticed my surprise.

“Where have you been Harry? Have you forgotten about City’s virtual reality TV show, where a celebrity guest is named chairman of City for a month, to see how they cope with the mental anguish and the punishing demands made on the body in the face of intolerable stress levels?”

“He’s a pillock!”

chipped in Nookie.

“Well,”

I countered,

“I was wondering if I could have my old job back? Surely Keegan will be out soon?”

“Told you he’s a pillock!”

Once again Nookie responded.

“Now, Nookie, Harry is a guest, and he’s not been very well. Don’t you understand Harry? Kevin’s doing the job expected of all City managers. Drama! Excitement! Nail biting tension! As soon as we realised we couldn’t keep up with the big 3 we instructed Kevin to create some interest. We don’t have mid-table mediocrity here – The fans wouldn’t stand for it. They much prefer a good old fashioned relegation battle with plenty of booing and a good old fashioned demonstration after the game.”

“Why are you bothering? This man is a pillock!”

Nookies eyes spun crazily.

So I’m back, ready and able to run a football club! Chairmen, if you are reading this – I’m your man!

See you again soon

Harold Flatcap esq

Harry Flatcap was pouring his heart out to Steve Heald.

by : Colin Illingworth

Martin Tyler: Welcome to Premiership Managers Brawl, live from St Andrews in Birmingham, and this competition is getting hotter than a blazing inferno. Last week Sir Alex Ferguson destroyed his bitter archrival Gerard Houllier in a pulsating encounter that had everything but tonight’s brawl is set to top even that as the pride of Birmingham is up for grabs when Birmingham’s Steve Bruce gets to grip with his Villa counterpart David O’Leary. With me as always is the legendary Andy Gray who of course used to ply his trade for Villa.
Andy Gray: Hello fight fans. Well it’s true what they say, if you want to see a good fight then get down to Birmingham. There’s no secret that these two parties despise each other, so what better way to see who’s the City’s top dog than for Bruce and O’Leary to step into the squared circle for a blood filled fight to the death!
Martin: They could always have some sort of…
Andy: No Martin, believe me, there’s no better way of settling your differences than this.
Martin: But…
Andy: No butts, this is the way it’s going to be. Bruce V O’Leary, in that very ring … tonight!
The partisan St Andrews faithful go absolutely ballistic as the anticipation grows to fever pitch.
Martin: This brawl has been the talk of the Country’s second biggest City and we sent our intrepid reporter Chris Kamara out on to the streets of Birmingham to gauge the public’s opinion on tonight’s massive clash.
Chris: Here I am in the heart of Birmingham and as you can see the streets are awash with blue and white shirts. Lets see what they think tonight’s outcome will be?
Kamara picks on some poor unsuspecting fool.
Chris: Hello mate, Chris Kamara here reporting for the Premiership Managers Brawl on squarefootball.net tv, I was wondering who you think will reign supreme tonight between Steve Bruce and David O’Leary?
Birmingham fan 1: (Broad Brummie accent) Well I think Bruce is going to win because he has everything in his arsenal. The experience of serving under fiery Ferguson and his defensive abilities are there for everybody to see. He’ll deflect everything that O’Leary throws at him, hitting on the counter attack, and eventually killing the Villa scum.
Chris: And what about you mate?
Birmingham fan 2: (Another broad Brummie accent) I agree with him. If O’Leary wins it will be a dark day in the history of this City. Come on Steve, do it for Birmingham!
Chris then reports from another area flooded with claret and blue shirts.
Chris: What do you think the outcome will be tonight?
Villa fan 1: (Broad Birmingham accent) O’Leary’s going to win, obviously. He’s got the attacking skills that the other half of this City could only dream of. He’s a shrewd manager and I’m sure he has a master plan to make sure that Bruce leaves the building in a body bag.
Villa fan 2: (Broad Birmingham accent) The filthy Blues may have home advantage but O’Leary’s at his best when his back is against the wall. O’Leary and Villa to the end!
Chris: Well there’s a sample of views from the fans in and around St Andrews. Back to you at ringside.
Martin: When this brawl was first announced I really feared for O’Leary. Villa were near the bottom of the table and the fans were on his back but recently they’ve picked up considerably and now find themselves in the top half of the table. Meanwhile, across the City, the tide has somewhat turned as Birmingham have fallen down the league somewhat.
Andy: I think on recent form O’Leary and Villa would be booking their place into the quarterfinals but this is a one off fight and it’s all about what happens tonight.
Martin: Well the big fight’s just moments away so let’s get the latest betting odds.
Andy: As you can imagine the bookies have taken a shed load of cash on this bout and not surprisingly the bookies can’t separate them, both managers at Evens. However if you’ve got more money than sense, and want a daft little flutter, then this is the place to be. If you’ve a feeling that the clubs biggest fans Jasper Carrott and Nigel Kennedy will get involved you’ll get odds of 1/16. At 1/25 you’ll get odds of Karen Brady running down to ringside but if you think tonight is the perfect opportunity for former Leeds Chairman Peter Ridsdale to get revenge on his former manager you’ll get odds of 1/33.
Martin: All of those bets seem quite plausible.
Andy: I know I’ve gone for all of them in a treble so if they do all come true I’ll pocket £15,000.
Martin: I hope you’ll split it with me?
Andy: Anymore talk like that and you’ll be walking out of here with three shoes.
Martin: Three shoes?
Andy: Yeah, two on your feet and one up your…
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has come to introduce tonight’s competitors.
The noise levels inside St Andrews becomes deafening.

by : Antony Melvin

The secret diary of the man who gets things done.

MONDAY

Arsenal are still keen on Angel at Villa. Decided to stop that particular one with a ridiculous £20m price tag (Mirror), after reaching a deal that will see Angel become the new face for Pukka pies in the west Midlands area. And I can also reveal that the rumour surrounding John Hartsons return to the capital with Fulham (Mail) is not unconnected with another food deal. The Fulham firefighters fun Friday fry-up (the 5F) needed relaunching and I think John has the gravitas - but he needs a London base for this kind of deal.

After Michael Owen made a complete Forlan from 3 yards I quickly put out a press release (back-dating it to before the kick-off - that'll put them off the scent) saying that Michael was thinking of re-signing (Star). Well we'd done the 'questioning the ambition of the club' bit and flogged out the 'niggling injury' routine so we really needed to remind everyone that Michael still existed! But after a re-think we are torn between ‘I never said I wanted to leave’ or 'leaving contract negotiations until after the season' as a way forward.

TUESDAY
Nicky Butt wants to leave Old Trafford (BBC), which comes as no surprise to anyone. I mean being an understudy to a Neville is bound to wind you up (ask Danny Mills). But as to suitors I think that Tottenham are the best option, no competition for a place, high profile, low expectations. Pele's quote from the World Cup of 'I like butt' was widely misinterpreted, but should ease Nicky's move to north London.

Discussed the situation with Henrik Larsson and flew a kite about him going to Barcelona (Sun). This is agitator short-hand for 'he wants to play somewhere warm and spend some time on the beach'. So Newcastle does not qualify. Had a chat with Roman and I can confirm that there will be movement soon - ex-lax is an important addition to every billionaires medicine cabinet. As for him wanting to sign a cheque/Czech/Cech (Express) - whatever.

WEDNESDAY
Contract negotiations for big Emile at Liverpool were going slowly so we thought we’d give it a bit of a push and make the obvious link to ‘0 shots on target’ Middlesbrough (Mail) and a less obvious link to AC Milan (Times). Somewhat disconcertingly Liverpool seem interested. If we can stall the Saha transfer long enough we can double-bluff Liverpool by suggesting a Man Utd interest. On the basis that if they want him …

Chelsea were a bit concerned that their third place was under threat so a second day of undermining fourth placed Charlton’s best player Scott Parker was in order. But offering Joe Cole in exchange (Sun) doesn’t seem to be working. Perhaps we’d better look at stronger rumours of a move for the manager to truly unsettle them.

THURSDAY
Operation upset Man Utd has resumed today, after our suggestions that they were about to lose all their transfer targets in one black Thursday! So Chelsea are now favourites to land Saha for £18m (Mirror/Star/Telegraph), Arsenal will land Defoe for £5m (Sun) and Chelsea will also bag Arjen Robben (Express) and Christian Vieri for £14m or £25m (Sun/Times/BBC). Largely quote-free stuff – for obvious reasons.

Yesterday’s links for big Emile didn’t exactly further his contract negotiation as Liverpool seemed a little over-eager to let him speak to Middlesbrough. So Emile has had to quickly restate his loyalty to the cause. Liverpool have waded in and knocked 5k a week off his new deal – some people will use any situation to their advantage. The morality of modern football is a crying shame. Discussed linking him with Everton as a final desperate fling. Or Barcelona. Or Tottenham. Or Celtic. Brainstorming session scheduled.

FRIDAY
Moved quickly to link Middlesbrough to another striker in this case Viduka for £6m (Sun) to try to ease the Heskey situation. Given that Man Utd are standing by this is not a viable option for too long. So with a little lateral thinking we quickly linked Alan Smith to Newcastle United for an affordable £2m (Sun), and wait for Middlesbrough to move for him. Once Liverpool accept that there is nowhere for Heskey to go we can make some progress on a new contract.

We have long wondered why Manchester United are so despised when they do such good charity work. Paying over the odds to keep some badly run clubs going, like the £30m the paid for Forgetful Ferdinand. Whilst offering England internationals in deals that pay for themselves. Madrid must have recouped the Beckham cost in shirt sales already, and if Newcastle are allowed to strengthen their midfield by getting Nicky Butt for £5m (Express) then surely Fergie has gone mad. And besides we’ve already agreed with TAG that he’s going to Spurs (BBC).

Weekend
Chamonix, ski-ing.

Antony Melvin was routing through the bins of the rich and powerful.

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks that Sam Allardyce has a nerve.

Those who read my rantings regularly will know that I am not the biggest fan of Bolton Wanderers manager Sam Allardyce. It was probably unfair to single him out in an article I wrote some months ago about bringing in foreign players on loan as a cheap option. However, it seems that this week 'Big Sam' has spent most of his time trying to get up my nose.

Firstly, he publicly criticised the appointment of Trevor Brooking in what was thought to be the role of FA Technical Director. Allardyce was outraged by the appointment, claiming that Brooking was not qualified to take on the job. Citing the fact that he and his fellow managers have to obtain qualifications before they take over at a club, he argued that Brooking also should be obliged to get himself qualified.

In 99% of all other industries I would whole-heartedly agree with Allardyce's position, but I think that the football industry is a different animal. Passing an FA coaching course does not necessarily make somebody a good football manager or coach, nor does failing to obtain such qualifications necessarily make somebody incapable. The previous incumbent of the position of FA Technical Director was Howard Wilkinson. Wilkinson was fully qualified for the job, having passed all of the required exams and followed all of the required courses. Still, most fans within the game were uncomfortable with his role having seen the way some of his teams had played the game previously. When he re-emerged in club management at Sunderland Wilkinson was unsuccessful. You can draw your own conclusions from this, but I would suggest that it is philosophy rather than certificates that is the most important factor in overseeing the development of footballers.

Brooking is a man with years of playing experience, achieving standards that an old school hacker like Mr Allardyce could only dream of. This in itself should be worth something, and should prove that Brooking does indeed have something to offer the game on the technical side of things. In addition to this he has a lot of administrative experience having served on the board of Sport England for many years also. He may or may not be the right man to ensure England produces the star players it needs in the future, but to dismiss him because he doesn't have a piece of paper that says he knows how many men to put in his own penalty area at a corner is pure folly. Brooking answered the criticism by suggesting that he would not be in sole charge of the technical development of English players, and that he would be assisted in that area by another fully qualified FA man, Les Reed. Whether this diffuses the situation remains to be seen, but it is whether or not England produces more Danny Mills than David Beckham's in the future that should be of most concern.

Not content with trying to rock Brooking's boat, Allardyce then surpassed himself with his utter disregard and disdain for the FA Cup on Tuesday evening. With a cushy looking tie at Luton in round four awaiting them, his Bolton Wanderers hosted second division Tranmere Rovers in a third round replay. Scandalously, Allardyce made ten changes to the team that had beaten Blackburn Rovers so thrillingly in the Premiership only days before. Whether or not Allardyce took Rovers too lightly only he will know, but his makeshift side spent much of the game trailing 1-0 before seemingly rescuing themselves with a late equaliser. However, it was a brief reprieve as Tranmere scored again in extra time to secure the win.

The following day Allardyce suggested that it was a good thing that Bolton Wanderers were out of the FA Cup. The idea that a team steeped in FA Cup tradition should enjoy being unceremoniously dumped out of the greatest knockout football tournament in the world by a team two leagues below them is frankly unpalatable. Yes, we live in an era when Premiership survival is vital to club's like Bolton if they are to keep themselves on a safe financial footing, but the FA Cup, aside from all of its traditions and the sheer magic of it all, represents another opportunity for the loyal Wanderers fans to see their team pick up some silverware. Perhaps Allardyce would have been more disappointed with the result had his team not already reached the semi finals of the League Cup, but it is still galling to see the FA Cup treated as nothing more than an irritating distraction by a top-flight team.

Still, I bet the Tranmere Rovers and Luton Town fans were pleased. Rant over.

by : Chris Owens

Chris Owens has his doubts about the wisdom of Manchester City signing David James.

It's a pity Neil Ruddock has agreed to take part in a jaunt to the jungle for the next series of 'I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here!', as rumour has it that he was next on the Kevin Keegan hit-list. Seeing as David James is set to join Steve McManaman and Robbie Fowler at the Blue Camp, it surely can't be long before the rest of Roy Evans' Liverpool 'Spice Boys' of the mid'90s turn up at Manchester City with their infamous cream suits!

Seriously though, at face value the replacement of the retired former England international goalkeeper David Seaman with the current England international goalkeeper, the aforementioned David James, seems good business for everyone. City get an experienced solution to their keeping crisis, whilst both James and Sven Goran Eriksson must be delighted with the England No.1 moving back to the Premiership before Euro 2004. Even West Ham could reinvest the money wisely into their pursuit of a swift return to the top flight. But as with most things Kevin Keegan does, it is a gamble, and a gamble that could spectacularly backfire.

At the moment City are in danger of entering a crisis. Early season talk of possible Champions League qualification seems a world away from a possible relegation dogfight. Pre-season signings of 'old heads' such as Seaman, Bosvelt, Sinclair, Reyna and McManaman were meant to improve on last season's promising top-flight renaissance. But lately the talk has been of dressing room splits and players not pulling their weight. James may be the kind of strong character needed to improve the dressing room atmosphere, but evidence from his time at Liverpool, West Ham and England shows this may not be the case.

According to people within football, David James has all the attributes needed to become a top class keeper. He strikes an intimidating figure, he's got excellent agility and athleticism. But despite his long career and numerous clubs, he continues to have an erratic style. Whether it's misjudging a cross into the penalty area or mis-kicking backpasses, he is still prone to lapses in concentration as his performances at West Ham continue to demonstrate.

With City's defensive problems persisting, is James really the secure, composed and calming influence that is necessary? Whilst he had a growing army of critics towards the latter period of his career, if David Seaman had one quality it would be his temperament. But even the unflappable veteran couldn't help eradicate kamikaze defending from Sommeil, Sun Ji Hai and company. On the evidence of a West Ham defence with a similarly suicidal disposition - Thomas Repka anyone? - David James is not the man to organise a unit to stop shipping goals.

From a financial perspective, this may not be a sensible move for City either. Although a long way from the monetary meltdown at Elland Road, there have significant debts rumoured to be anything up to £50million. Is a reported £2million transfer fee, plus substantial wages, good business for a man well into his 30s?

Although in desperate need for a goalkeeper, perhaps Keegan has rushed into this move. Who knows, in a week Paul Robinson may be available for roughly the same price as paid for James if the Arabian Sheikh doesn't shake himself into action with a rescue package for Leeds. Promising goalkeepers such as Robert Green of Norwich would surely be a more long-term solution. And if City really needed a short-term solution, a cheaper and arguably better option would be Southampton's Wales international Paul Jones, who although on loan at Liverpool would be available before the window closes.

by : Stephen Orford

Group C: CAMEROON, ALGERIA, EGYPT, ZIMBABWE

Defending champions Cameroon have won the last two finals in the competition on penalties and will again go into the tournament among the favourites. There will be an obvious desire within the squad to make it a hat-trick of titles in honour of the late Marc-Vivien Foe. They are currently the highest ranked African nation in FIFA’s world rankings, standing at 14 and have proved consistent performers on the world stage, only losing to France to a Golden Goal in last summer’s Confederation Cup final. They defend their title with an experienced squad, although one that is possibly a little over-reliant on Samuel Eto’o going forward.

The bulk of the Algerian squad plies its trade in Western Europe, although they lack any star names. They have already benefited from the new FIFA nationality ruling, with Antar Yahia, Samir Beloufa and Ouadah Abdelnasser all receiving clearance to play. The fact that all three go into the finals without an international cap to their name could present problems in how coach Rabah Sadane's will gel as a unit.

The Egyptians are currently the second highest ranked African nation in FIFA’s list. Their main hopes would seem to lie with the volatile Ahmed “Mido” Hossam in attack and the midfielder Ahmed Hassan. Veteran captain Hany Ramzy misses out through injury, which could prove a significant blow. The bulk of the squad is domestically based, with Zamalek providing the core of coach Mohsen Saleh’s team.

Zimbabwe only qualified as the best group runners-up in qualifying. The squad is largely made up of home-based players, although their main hopes will rest on Auxerre striker Benjamin Mwaruwaru and Sheffield United veteran Peter Ndlovu. Their preparations haven’t been helped in being held to a recent 0:0 draw in Harare by what turned out to be a “fake” El Salvador team that had been hastily cobbled together by Zimbabwe’s Italian shirt sponsors.

Group D: NIGERIA, MOROCCO, SOUTH AFRICA, BENIN

Many will be backing Nigeria, but their build up to the tournament behind the scenes has been no more professional than usual, with the Nigerian Sports Minister Mohammed Musa admitting interfering in the FA’s affairs. It’s also worth remembering that the FA made an aborted attempt to recruit the abject managerial skills of Bryan Robson, which speaks volumes. There are major doubts over the ability of coach Christian Chukwu and, for all their attacking prowess, the defence is far from secure. They are also in the toughest looking group in the tournament, with Morocco and South Africa providing stern opposition. Obafemi Martins has withdrawn from the squad to concentrate on his club career, although whether this is his own decision is open to question?

With the finals being held in north African rivals Tunisia, Morocco will be determined to go well. Their cause certainly wasn’t aided by their being drawn in the “Group of Death”, but they did qualify without conceding a single goal. Key player is likely to be Deportivo La Coruna’s veteran defender Noureddine Naybet.

South Africa probably hasn’t progressed in recent years as many would have anticipated, but they will did at least qualify for the finals ahead of the fancied Ivory Coast. They have certainly been hit harder than most with withdrawals, injuries and premature retirements, with Steven Pienaar, Mark Fish, Quinton Fortune, Benni McCarthy, Lucas Radebe, Hans Vonk and Shaun Bartlett all missing for one reason or another. In addition their coach, Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba, has been suspended by the FA barely two weeks prior to the finals for failure to carry out his duties to a satisfactory level.

Benin caused something of an upset in qualifying at the expense of Zambia, beating them 3:0 in their final game. The best hope of “the Squirrels” pulling off a surprise result or two in their first-ever appearance at a major finals probably rest with Guingamp striker Oumar Tchomogo.

It’s always risky assessing the latter stages of tournaments, given that one rogue result in a group game can change everything. But, looking at the draw, the quarter-finals could well line up as follows:

TUNISIA V MALI
SENEGAL V GUINEA
CAMEROON V NIGERIA
MOROCCO V EGYPT

Even allowing for the calibre of those likely to figure in the latter stages, Cameroon could have the competitive nous and organisation to go all the way to another final. The other finalist may well come from the north, with Egypt looking the most formidable of the teams from the region. While opting for Cameroon to make it a hat-trick of wins, the Pharaohs could well be capable of pushing them all the way to yet another shoot-out.
Stephen Orford pays tribute to David Seaman.

After a long and illustrious career David Seaman announced his retirement on Tuesday night. Manchester City have already lined up David James as his replacement but it is for his tenure as the custodian for Arsenal and England that the Yorkshireman will be remembered.

Seaman won 75 caps in a wonderful England career and can rightly count himself up among the greatest ever England goalkeepers. His exit from the game, although inevitable at the age of 40, leaves a big void in terms of truly world class English 'keepers. Fifteen or twenty years ago there were probably five Englishmen among the top ten goalkeepers in the world, but the influx of foreign talent has seen English shot-stoppers fall behind on the world stage. While a capable and often spectacular shot-stopper, even James has question marks over his consistency.

Indeed, the latter part of Seaman's career was blighted with the sort of howlers that one would normally expect from James. Few will ever forget the audacious cross-cum-shot from Ronaldinho which knocked England out of the 2002 World Cup, or the goal Seaman conceded direct from a corner in a Euro 2004 Qualifier at Southampton. However, these mistakes came when Seaman's skills were very much on the wane. At the peak of his powers througout the 1990's David Seaman's mistakes were as rare as Ade Akinbiyi's Premiership goals. Pre-pony-tail, Seaman was vital as the last line of the famously miserly Arsenal defence under George Graham, and could also be found regularly performing heroics in an England shirt. Who could forget his penalty save against Scotland from Gary McAllister at Euro 96? Or another breathtaking penalty save from Miguel Nadal in a shoot-out against Spain in the same competition? Seaman's career has been littered with such miraculous exploits, but is was perhaps his no-nonsense style and the way he made his job look so easy that was most impressive.

Even after his hairdressing nightmares set in, Seaman still managed to keep goal for both Arsenal and England with great distinction, helping the Gunners to league and cup doubles in 1998 and 2002. With England, he remained his country's number one goalkeeper until the latter part of 2002 when he was aged 39. Seaman was not only a goalkeeper of great agility and poise, but also evidently one of great longevity. His last trophy success in English football was last year's FA Cup when he helped keep Southampton at bay in a 1-0 victory for the Gooners. It was his fourth FA Cup winners medal, and would not have been possible where it not for a miraculous save against Sheffield United in the semi-final. Written off by most at that point in his career, Seaman produced one of the greatest saves of his life to ensure another final appearance.

Discarded by Arsenal at the end of the 2002/3 season Seaman moved on to Manchester City for one more crack at the big time. Many have argued that this was a mistake, and that he should have retired at that time to take up a coaching position at Highbury. The competetive nature of Seaman gave him other ideas and he chose to take up a one year deal at City. Despite fleeting glimpses of his former brilliance the doubters were again out in force, as City's unreliable back-line at times made Seaman look like a man who had gone on one year too long. Finally, after picking up a shoulder injury in Saturday's 4-2 reverse at Portsmouth Seaman succumbed to the pressure being placed on his ageing body and announced his retirement.

I cannot deny that this writer was among those who felt that Seaman had gone on too long when he took up the option of a year with Manchester City. Even after his performances at the 2002 World Cup I was convinced that he would damage his reputation by continuing. Now, after the announcement of the end of his career he will hopefully be remembered as a legend among not only English goalkeepers but those throughout the world.

Fans of Arsenal and England won't need persuading.

by : David Hulott

David Hulott runs the rule over the 16 nations competing for the African Nations Cup.

It may not meet with the approval of Messrs Pleat, Allardyce and countless other club coaches throughout Europe, but the African Nations Cup kicks-off in Tunisia on January 24. This year’s competition looks to be the strongest yet, with the gulf in class between the traditional giants of African football and the rest closing all the time. The ever increasing numbers of African players plying their trade in Europe, with the French and Belgian leagues being particularly popular destinations, and the recent FIFA ruling over nationality have both helped to boost the standard of the finalists this year.

Among the pre-tournament favourites will be the current holders, Cameroon, while Nigeria, Senegal, Egypt and the host nation will also have their backers. Making their debut at the finals will be Benin, Rwanda and Zimbabwe, although it seems unlikely that any of them will progress beyond the group stage.

The last finals in Mali were somewhat disappointing, with goals in very short supply. With the levelling in standards throughout the continent, games are again expected to be tight this time, but hopefully with a little more emphasis on testing the goalkeepers.

As seems obligatory with African football, the build up to the finals has been beset by internal disputes, managerial changes, financial mismanagement and all manner of administrative problems. This could particularly hamper the hopes of Nigeria and South Africa, although in the case of the former this is very much the norm anyway.

Group A: TUNISIA, RWANDA, GUINEA, DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO

Much will be expected of Tunisia as hosts, especially with former France national coach Roger Lemerre at the helm. They will be boosted by the decision of Brazilian-born Sochaux striker Francileudo Santos to commit his international future to the country where he established himself, prior to making his name in France.

If the Football Federation is capable of dealing with the administrative and organisational side of things without interference from the national Government, Guinea could prove to be lively outsiders. They have a particularly potent looking strikeforce, in the form of Souleymane Youla (the Genclerbirligi striker who caused Blackburn Rovers so many problems in the UEFA Cup earlier this season), Aboubacar Titi Camara (yes, the former Anfield "favourite") and Pascal Feindouno. They can also call upon the Celtic’s Bobo Balde, although team-mate Momo Sylla has withdrawn for personal reasons.

The Democratic Republic of Congo will have a certain amount of interest from Blighty as a result of having former Huddersfield Town boss Mick Wadsworth coaching the side. They will badly miss Shabani Nonda, Monaco’s injured striker, but can call upon Newcastle United’s Lomana Tresor LuaLua. The omens don’t look too promising in that they failed to win any games away from Kinshasa in qualifying for the finals.

Rwanda caused one of the major upsets in qualifying for the finals at the expense of Ghana, even allowing for the perennial underachievement of the latter. In what will be their first appearance in the finals, they will kick-off the opening game of the tournament against the host nation. They will have high hopes of 21-year old striker Jean Lomani, current leading scorer in the Zambian league. Can also count on the passionate and financial support of Rwandan president Paul Kagame.

Group B: SENEGAL, MALI, KENYA, BURKINA FASO

Having established themselves as a major force in world football over the last few years, Senegal are again expected to be strong contenders. They have a number of quality players plying their trade in the major European leagues, although few of them have lived up to expectations since World Cup 2002. New coach Guy Stephan will be under pressure in following the popular Bruno Metsu.

Mali reached the semi-finals when hosting the tournament last time and could go well again. While the long-running saga over Frederic Kanoute’s availability threatened to derail their preparations somewhat, the squad contains plenty of other fine players in the likes of Mahamdou Diarra, Seydou Keita, Mamadou Bagayoko and Mohamed Sissoko. They will also be facing group rivals Senegal in the qualifiers for World Cup 2006, so the game between the two here will have extra significance.

Kenya’s very presence at the finals was still in doubt until President Mwai Kibaki promised the FA that his Government would supply funds to enable the squad to travel to Tunisia. Their cause isn’t helped in having two domestic leagues running parallel as a result of infighting at the national football federation. Having secured the necessary Kenyan shillings to participate, their hopes will largely rest on 19-year old Qatar-based striker Denis Oliech.

Burkina Faso has a sprinkling of European-based talent, although injury has ruled out probably their most widely recognised player in Freiburg striker Wilfried Sanou. They have now established themselves as a force on the continent, with this being their fifth consecutive appearance in the finals. Much could depend on striker Moumouni Dagano, hat-trick hero in Guingamp's 3:2 win over Strasbourg in his last game for his French club side prior to the finals.

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford goes through the candidates for the signature of Nicky Butt.

For some team sportsmen and women it is enough to merely be associated with a successful club or team. What could be easier than turning up for training for a couple of hours each morning, and then sitting down with your feet up at the weekend while your all-conquering colleagues battle it out for supremacy against cheeky upstart pretenders to the throne? Throw in a huge salary and you would think that this sort of lifestyle would suit perfectly.

Not Nicky Butt, it seems. The Manchester United midfielder is on the verge of another massive pay day as he approaches his testimonial year at Old Trafford. Yet, he shocked everyone this week with the revelation that he has handed in a transfer request to the club. Sir Alex Ferguson, usually the man to decide who goes and when they leave his evil empire, has accepted this request but called it "a very sad situation". Sad indeed, but the England midfielder seems determined to move on to secure regular first team football.

A product of the same youth system that produced the likes of Giggs, Beckham, Scholes and the Neville brothers, Butt has fallen behind in the Manchester United midfield pecking order, despite the much publicised sales of Beckham and Juan Sebastian Veron. Staggeringly, it is Phil Neville who currently keeps Butt out of the loop, and with others like Kleberson and Ronaldo arriving at the club it seems that only Eric Djemba Djemba finds himself more disadvantaged than Butt. Everybody knows that Djemba Djemba is so good they named him twice, but Nicky Butt has plenty of admirers too. Pele picked him out as one of the best players at the 2002 World Cup, and the man whose opinion matters most when it comes to England, manager Sven Goran Eriksson, seems impressed also, despite Butt's limited club opportunities.

Butt's availability is bound to attract the attention of a whole host of Premiership clubs. An early candidate according to some media sources was Chelsea. Pardon me for being a bit thick, but wouldn't a man who is leaving his beloved club for the sake of his first team opportunities be committed to an asylum for joining Chelsea? The Stamford Bridge club have a midfield corps that is more crowded than the road to a Robbie Williams concert, and would hardly be able to guarantee Butt a regular place. Of course, a player of such distinction will not want to fall too far down the league ladder when looking for a new challenge. Still awaiting his 29th birthday, Butt is arguably at his peak and will want to join an ambitious club that can give him the opportunity to add to his already gigantic medal collection.

Newcastle United are more like my idea of a genuine contender for his signature. Enduring an up and down season so far, the Toon Army would surely welcome a little bit of steel to their often over-run midfield. While it is true that they have a great prospect in that area in Jermaine Jenas, a player of Butt's experience might be just what they need at this point. This experience would also prove invaluable to the football education of young men like Jenas, along with Keiron Dyer and company.

I think we can discount Liverpool. I have already fired out a memo to the Prime Minister pleading with him to introduce some sort of legislation to stop Monsieur Houllier from wasting any more of the club's money, and it is a rare event indeed to see a player make the switch from Old Trafford to Anfield. Even His Royal Cockiness, Big Time Charlie in-Chief Paul Ince had to use the road to Milan to travel the 30 or so miles down the M62. He was rightly vilified for his emergence at Anfield by his old fans in Manchester, and his performances on the field failed to emulate those of his early days at United. Once bitten, twice shy.

How about a move to the other side of Stanley Park? It looks unlikely. With the allegedly reborn Blues flapping about like a drowning man at the wrong end of the league table, they would hardly be a mouth-watering prospect for a man of Butt's standing in the game. It is far more possible that Butt could be used as a sweetener in a deal to bring Louis Saha to Manchester, or that a club like Tottenham or Birmingham could convince him that he is the missing piece in their jigsaw. The Old Trafford club have already denied that a swap deal with Middlesbrough is on the cards, the idea being for Gareth Southgate to go to United to fill the void about to be left by Rio Ferdinand.

Whoever signs him will be getting a player of proven quality and experience. I have got to go now. I have just heard that Middlesbrough are also in talks to sign Emile Heskey from Liverpool, and there's a man at the door with the Champagne that I ordered.

by : Alex Wolstenholme

Alex Wolstenholme looks back at the short time Gary McAllister was at Coventry City.

As a manager, the jury is still out on Gary McAllister but Coventry fans will retain their respect for the man for a number of reasons as he leaves Highfield Road on a permanent basis to care for his seriously ill wife.

Firstly, McAllister took the job at all. Given the option of another year on his Liverpool contract with European football and all that or taking on a first division club, sixty million in debt, with no ground to call their own and the certainty of having to sell players most people would have chosen the former. To his credit, McAllister took on the challenge and made it doubly hard for himself by continuing as a player.

Players were duly sold. Magnus Hedman, David Thompson and Lee Hughes departed, to be replaced by free transfers and loan signings. Initially it worked ok and City were in the play offs going into 2003. Things went downhill from then with only league win until the end of the season.

The financial situation didn’t help but players were chopped and changed with alarming regularity and a settled team and tactics were reserved for other teams. Despite this McAllister retained the support of the fans who gave him a standing ovation after the final home game of the season against Gillingham.

Over summer, with the high earners off the payroll, McAllister brought in a number of new players (again on free transfers). And the club are making progress, albeit painfully slowly. Building work on a new stadium is underway, the debt has been reduced and the team is trying to play decent football although a chronic lack of firepower is keeping them in the bottom half of the table.

Having had one spell of compassionate leave, McAllister came back to lead the team again and even managed to put in his best performance of the season as a player when he scored in the televised game against Sunderland. His farewell upon being substituted hinted at a departure and it duly came a few days later, temporary at first but now made permanent.

There are plenty more things in life more important in football and no one can criticise McAllister’s decision in any way. Coming back to the club after six months, a year or even more would have been difficult. The club itself needs to keep moving; new players are desperately needed and that has to be the preserve of the man in charge.

McAllister goes with the best wishes of not just Coventry fans but surely most football supporters up and down the country.

by : Red Kitching

Red Kitching gives his predictions for the drop.

The 2003-2004 season is shaping up nicely and most teams in the premiership have something to play for other than just bobbing along on a wave of mid-table mediocrity. The biggest drama and most of the interest is looking towards to the foot of the table to see who is doomed and who is looking like they will be dining at the top table for another season.

Here is an assessment of the teams involved and what might happen to them in the second half of the season:-

DEEP TROUBLE!

Wolverhampton Wanderers
After a shocking start to the season, they have shown consistency at home. They quickly need to turn draws into wins at home and start to turn defeats into draws away. A serious lack of goals and (old) age of their team means that they will probably be falling through the trapdoor come May.

Leeds Utd
What else can be said about Leeds? I really fear for the existence of the club as if they do not go into administration on 19th January, they are destined to be forced down that road if they go down. That is looking increasingly likely too as vultures circle the club looking to feed off the bones of the team and take away the best players. Look certainties to go down as well.

NEEDING TO WORK HARD

Leicester City
The team that specializes in throwing away leads. A trait they may well live to regret. They have been scoring plenty of goals this season, which is a key area in the battle for survival. They show battling qualities as well, but the lack of premiership class players may leave them with too much to do.

Portsmouth
Had a great start to the season but have struggled ever since. The loss of form of Sheringham and the loss of Yakubu to the African Nations Cup means is almost insignificant in relation to the injuries in the squad. Harry will have to do some serious wheeling and dealing to get his club to safety.

LOOKING OVER THEIR SHOULDERS

Tottenham
The Fredi Kanoute situation could not have come at a worse time for Spurs. They will miss the goals the big Frenchman-Malian-Martian (or whatever nationality he pretends to be this week) provides. They should have enough quality to get by, but if they don’t get another source of goals in his absence to help out Robbie Keane, they may come too close for comfort.

Blackburn
I bet they wish they had stuck with what they had in the summer and not sold both Duff and Dunn, but that was then and this is now. With little money to replace the midfield walking wounded, they need some perspiration and inspiration added in the centre of the park. The recent goals from Cole and Yorke will be welcome and if they can find some consistency, the comfort zone beckons.

Manchester City
A team in crisis. Haven’t won since the last King died, struggling at the back and rumours of discontent in the dressing room, has Kevin Keegan’s time come to an end? I think this could be the time that the City board should stick, rather than twist, and keep Keegan through to the end of the season. The advent good weather in the spring should see them start to pick up the points that will see them in a healthy position.

Middlesbrough
Don’t score. Don’t concede. One of the best defences in the league should see them through to safety. Any injury to Gareth Southgate could see them shockingly relegated. An investment in a striker would probably guarantee them a decent finish.

So, who will finish in the bottom three? My crystal ball tells me it will be the following:-

Leeds
Wolverhampton
Portsmouth

by : Alex Wolstenholme

Alex Wolstenholme wants to applaud Paul Durkin.

Following on from Paul Durkin’s appearance before the Sky cameras to explain his decisions in the Manchester United versus Newcastle game, the Premier League should make it compulsory for all referees to do the same after each game.

Durkin was honest in his assessment of the two major decisions he made, saying he didn’t see the contact between Tim Howard and Alan Shearer and that Mikael Silvestre’s goal was ruled out as he thought the player had manhandled his way past the Newcastle defender.

In doing so, Durkin drew the fire of both managers when they were questioned about the incidents. They may have disagreed with the decisions but, presented with the facts they weren’t able to do what many managers do and portray the ref as being biased or uncommunicative or inconsistent or whatever.

If the referee had hidden away, the penalty that wasn’t given would have been presented as another example of bias towards Manchester United and the standing of referees would have taken another blow. And calls for video replays to be used in such situations are misleading as a decision such as that one is still down to opinions. Durkin viewed the replays and said that if he had seen it from that angle he would have given. Who is to say though that another referee would?

Durkin’s honesty also undermined Alex Ferguson’s claim that he had disallowed the Man Utd `goal` to even things up which is strange as the referee only realised his mistake after the match.

Managers ask for two things from referees, common sense and consistency without seeming to realise that in applying common sense they can’t always be consistent. Durkin applied common sense to the penalty decision but if there had been a similar incident later on that he had seen fully he would have had to give a penalty. Common sense but not consistent.

Referees have to make subjective decisions throughout a match and they are bound to make mistakes. As a Coventry fan I’ve witnessed countless baffling decisions, inconsistent performances and off days over the years but they have been from the (professional) players! Expecting any different from a referee is crazy. All that we can ask is that they explain why they did what they did and full marks to Paul Durkin for doing so.

by : Scott Stephens

Next we have Bolton, Everton, and Spurs. This trio of teams are interestingly poised together as we enter the second half of the season. With a bit of consistency and a little more luck with injuries I believe Bolton can push on and take a European spot. Sam Allardyce has worked a miracle at the club and for me is the best manager in the Premeirship. His method of obtaining and retaining players from all over the globe and then gelling the whole mix together is a wonderful example of a great modern day manager. Meanwhile Spurs have the quality and Everton the fight to ensure both should finish around the positions they are in now.

So what we have left are the clubs desperately hoping to avoid the drop.
I’m taking it for granted that Wolves have gone, and I expect Leeds to
follow. Without an influx of new players it’s hard to see how Dave Jones or
Eddie Gray can instil the consistent improvement needed to make up the gap
they have on the other candidates.

We’ve already analysed Man City – When you are regularly being turned over by the sides at the bottom – Conceding 4 goals to Pompey and 3 to Leicester at home demonstrates how dire City’s situation is.

Middlesbrough aren’t giving the goals away, but scoring is the name of the game in the Prem and with the worst scoring record in the division I expect Boro to have a nervy four months.

Blackburn are down with the dead men due to consistency – Losing to Bolton when 3-1 up yesterday merely demonstrates that. However I feel Souness will instil fight and come May Rovers will maintain the position in the Premiership.

Portsmouth and Leicester battled each other out to win Division 1 last season and both these sides will be slugging it out with each other to avoid the drop. The signing of Berkovic, who will be a perfect foil to feed a willing runner like Yakubu could be the masterstroke for Harry Redknapp. Portsmouth need to hope Yakubu won’t miss too many games due to African nations commitments. Leicester will grimly fight to the death.

So who will join Wolves and Leeds in the Nationwide next season? My belief is that it will be between the 3 Citys – Birmingham, Manchester, and Leicester, who will be heading through the drop zone. I will take Leicester, but it’s going to be a hard struggle for so many sides this Spring.Scott Stephens wants to tell everyone about the day he met Mrs Toure.

As a matchday seller of Arsenal Fanzines The Gooner and Highbury High, you get to meet all the stars! Well not exactly, but Trevor Brooking is a regular customer of mine, as is 'Gus' from EastEnders. Not to mention the time when a sidelined Pascal Cygan bought a copy of 'The Gooner' from me at the beginning of last year. Along with his £2 he kindly gave me a spare ticket which I happily gave away to the Supporter's Club and which later transpired to have given a 7 year old his first chance to see a game at Highbury. Nice one Pascal!

However, nothing could quite prepare me for the day when I was approached by a very colourful and outrageous character, later revealed to be none other than Mrs. Kolo Toure!

Much like many other Arsenal fan, I strongly believe that Kolo Toure has been an absolutely amazing find. After playing a very bit-part role for the Gunners last season, I like many other Arsenal fans were not entirely sure of his potential or even what position he was most comfortable in! I was somewhat surprised when prior to Arsenal's two-nil home win against Borussia Dortmund in the Champion's League last season, Matias Sammer, stated that Toure had been on the wish list of many European managers in the summer.

However, this season he has been a defensive rock and an attacking dynamo; his recent goal against Leeds in the F.A Cup providing the icing on the cake of an amazing first half of the season for the 22 year old. Ten games into the season and Toure was fast becoming one of the first names on Monsieur Wenger's teamsheet and the talk of the North Bank. A very early tip for player of the season, Toure was setting the premiership alight; playing with a smile on his face and looking bitterly upset when things didn't go his way. He was very close indeed to reaching hero status with me!

Saturday the eighth of November; the big one (albeit not so big anymore!). Spurs at home and I had about twenty minutes more selling time before I could down tools (well, fanzines!) and take my seat in the lower West Stand. As any fanzine seller would know, the last twenty minutes before kick off are pretty frantic, as hoards spill out of the surrounding pubs and people in a rush wave £5 notes at you! The North London derby was a rather slower day though and I expected many to have entered the ground slightly earlier than usual. I continue to shout 'Get ya' Gooner, your latest issue' at which point a trolley suitcase parks at my feet.

‘I'll have the one with Kolo on the front’

Asks an attractive, very colourful young lady with a distinct French accent. She was referring to the Highbury High, which that month had Toure on the front cover. She frantically raided her bag for her purse, as all manner of objects were tossed aside; mobile phone, make-up bag and hairbrush!

'That's my husband!'

She said.

'Who is?'

I reply trying to reassuringly stall the other customers who were now queuing behind her!

'Kolo!'

She replies excitedly.

'Really?'

I exclaim as she shows me her wedding ring; a stunning diamond (Kolo; apparently a real lady's man!)

'Yes. We met in the Ivory Coast, where Kolo is from. We have been married two years now'

She tells me as still her face is buried in her bag, still frantically searching for her purse. She pulls out her match ticket which along the left hand side, duly reads, 'Mrs. Kolo Toure.' I'm blown away and by this time feel like buying the fanzine for her myself, at which point she whips out a £2 pound coin.

'Do you like him?'

She innocently asks.

‘I think he is absolutely fantastic!'

I reply, still quite shocked by the situation in hand.

'Please tell him that he is Arsenal's best player this season and that many people think that!'

She thanks me and shoves the fanzine in to her seemingly bottomless bag and heads off towards the Clock End.

I felt as if I had committed my good deed for that day by ensuring that Toure knew that we Arsenal fans think a lot of what he is doing this year and long may it continue. I was paid back for my good deed as we went on to beat our 'friends' from the other end of Seven Sister's Road 2-1 and Toure played a blinder!

by : Steve Heald

Steve Heald looks down from the Premiership.

Saturday 10th January 2004 could be perceived as a watershed in the 2003-4 premiership season. The view held all season that there is no gulf between the teams in the positions fourth to nineteenth in the top division has been widely quoted up to this weekend. A cursory glance at the table on the 11th January tells an interesting story. Cracks are appearing, teams are sailing off towards safety and a stab at the European places, whilst others are in for a long hard slog to avoid the dreaded drop, and the dismal repercussions this leads to in this very depressing era of football finance. The type that threatens to ruin the game for generations to come, perhaps irreparably.

Kevin Keegan, during his sides dismal run of 14 games in all competitions without a win, is the man with the biggest headache right now. He has continually pedalled the statistic that a couple of wins on the bounce would elevate his side from sinking relegation candidates into Champions League contenders. He needs to study the table after Manchester City lost the relegation crunch match with Portsmouth on Saturday.

When he does he will see that even relying on the teams around City losing, 2 wins will only raise his club into a mid-table position at best. City haven’t won 2 games on the bounce all season and if you subscribe to the view that many of City’s early season results were achieved on the back of immense good fortune you have a side that could have been sitting closer to Wolves than they do right now. For all the money spent by Keegan this is a scandalous situation.

Pundits say City have too many good players to go down, but didn’t they say that about West Ham last season? It boils down to desire, team work, and guts and this City side doesn’t have any.

Selling your best creative player, sorry, giving away your best creative player, Eyal Berkovic, to a relegation rival and allowing him to make an inspired debut against you seems to be utter insanity. Sure, Berkovic threw his dummy out of the pram in the summer and Keegan was right to show him who is the boss. However it was believed the pair had resolved their differences. So why didn’t Keegan pick him, irrespective of what he thought of him as a person? Madness.

I went on record as saying the Robbie Fowler deal was probably the arrangement that burst the Keegan bubble. In tandem I feel the handling of Berkovic may be viewed as another factor in Keegan ultimately failing at City.

Charlton, Southampton, and Fulham are three clubs I believe can happily wave the clubs below goodbye as they sail on towards European football or at worst Premiership safety.

It looks inevitable that Fulham will lose Saha to Man U because United have played the game and ensured the player knew about the opportunity to sign for United, thus destabilising Fulhams resolve in keeping their star striker. I believe this division is full of very poor sides, the difference in most of them being how easy they find it to score goals. With Saha gone the Fulham players should be able to get behind Chris Coleman and his wonderful start to life as Premier manager. However goals will be harder to come by and the second half of the season will not be as easy as the run they have had so far. I expect mid table safety.

Charlton continue to battle on efficiently and quietly produce the results. They will obtain European football and could push Newcastle/Liverpool all the way for the last Champions League place. However my money is on Newcastle to have a good consistent run in the second half of the season and to bag the 4th spot. The implications for Liverpool, with the worst side they have had since Bill Shankly inherited the club, could be interesting to watch.

Southampton, similarly to Charlton, should be able to keep chipping away at their league spot, though my only concern would be the effect on the players Gordon Strachans announcement may have on the side. Remember how Man U slid when Fergie initially announced his retirement? I still expect Strachan to instil fight into his players to the very end.

Birmingham are also currently in this batch of clubs, but I see them swaying on the cliff face hoping not to fall off the edge. Like Man City they have been in freefall, their initially strong defence has been leaking goals. I still see a relegation battle for the Brummies.

So what of the teams in the lower half of the table? It may seem strange to
include Aston Villa in this group. After all, they are currently level on
points with Southampton. I feel Villa have had a good run but they won’t
sustain it. There is not enough quality at the club, and whilst they
presently have a 7 point cushion on the relegation zone I feel they will not
breathe easily until the latter stages of the season.

by : Jonny Hall

Jonny Hall argues that Premiership teams should look more to the Nationwide that the continent.

Just how big is the gap between The Premiership and The Football League in terms of quality? I’m not talking about quality of football. I’m talking about quality of players.

Agreed, there is a difference in class – there are no world class players in the Nationwide Leagues, but there are quality players in the Nationwide Leagues without a doubt. The problem is that the Premiership clubs not so much turn a blind eye on this talent but don’t take a gamble on them. It shouldn’t be like this.

A round of applause must go to Tottenham Hotspur. Yes, Spurs. The so-called ‘problem’ club have got it right in the January transfer window by snapping up Sheffield United midfielder Michael Brown for an undisclosed fee. Some may think Spurs grabbed Brown from under the nose of several snooping Premiership clubs but I would bet you the Brammall Lane side had very few serious offers for their prized asset.

Hopefully the quick-thinking of Spurs will set an example for the rest of the top flight clubs because, let’s face it, buying players from the Nationwide Leagues rather than from abroad has got to be the way forward. It should be the way forward. Message to Gerard Houllier at Liverpool: why have an El Hadji-Diouf when you could have a Ricardo Fuller from Preston North End or a Robert Earnshaw from Cardiff City? A lot of the Premiership clubs sacrifice talent for reputation and that can’t be a good thing – Diouf had a good World Cup and he’s lauded as the next big thing. He’s proved to be the next big flop as have many others that you could reel off on both hands.

Simply put, foreigners have to be given time to settle in this country, break through the language barrier (which is mightily awkward sometimes, as I found out during a four-day stay in Italy last week), not to mention adapt to the one thing they are getting paid for and that’s playing football. Yes, David Beckham seems to be settling in quite well with his Real Madrid teammates in Spain but for others it doesn’t go quite so smoothly, just ask Steve McManaman. If I were a Premiership manager (god forbid, I’d be a nervous wreck) I would take a gamble and pluck a player out of the Nationwide Leagues and throw him in at the Premiership deep end. I’m sure he wouldn’t let me down – Michael Brown will prove to be a valuable member of the Spurs squad.

I must also take my hat off to Sir Bobby Robson at Newcastle United for having the nerve to use his contacts at First Division Ipswich Town to bring the likes of Darren Ambrose to St James’ Park. Sir Bobby also had an eye for Nottingham Forest’s Jermaine Jenas, who shows great promise both now and for the future. The Nationwide Leagues are where talent should be blooded and groomed so they are ready for their chance to shine at the highest level.

Here, I target the top 10 most valuable players in the Nationwide Football League – will Premiership managers do the same before the transfer window slams shut again…?

1) Jermain Defoe, West Ham United
2) Ricardo Fuller, Preston North End
3) Andy Reid, Nottingham Forest
4) Robert Earnshaw, Cardiff City
5) Michael Dawson, Nottingham Forest
6) Dean Ashton, Crewe Alexandra
7) Rob Hulse, West Bromwich Albion
8) Leon Knight, Brighton & Hove Albion
9) Nigel Reo-Coker, Wimbledon
10) Wayne Routledge, Crystal Palace

565: A swan song for Safe Hands

by : Alicia Anderson

‘We love you Seaman’ were the sentiments scrawled across the vest of Nicolas Anelka last week. Rarely seen to be celebrating anything these days, the unhappy French forward tore the Manchester City shirt from his body as if the thing was on fire after he finally put City in the lead during David James’s debut game against Blackburn. It was a message from one troubled footballer to another.

Before the start of that match, immaculately dressed and perfectly groomed, David Seaman led his little girl, Georgina (in Manchester City strip from head to foot) to accompany him, as he finally said ‘Goodbye’ to the game. His retirement has been mournful for so many reasons – not in the least because he was an ambassador for the dilemma that hits every thirty-something staring into the abyss of a disappearing youth: ‘Am I too old to carry on doing this?’ Sadly notice was cruelly served to Seaman by every newspaper headline in the country after Ronaldinho put an end to England’s world cup ambition in 2002. His tearful embrace of David Beckham on every front page was the looking glass he simply couldn’t bear to face – and who, in all honesty, could blame him?

Given the passage of time however, it will hopefully be the gritty, difficult, typically English semi-final against Sheffield United that will become the emblem of David Seaman’s Swansong. It was the 84th minute of his 1,000th professional game and Arsenal were uncomfortably leading once again by a slender thread. The build up to the single winning goal had been controversial as Sol Campbell went unpunished for a foul on Wayne Allison, Patrick Vieira limped off in agony, and United went on to dominate when Paul Peschisolido came off the subs bench, fervently hoping to make a difference.

To this day Peschisolido is very likely baffled by the replays of the game – Asaba made a cross that he was certain to have headed away from the goalkeeper, but in a moment Seaman modestly described as ‘instinct’, he stretched out his right hand and clawed the ball out of danger. ‘I just flung my arm and tried to get something on it.’ ‘He must have shovels on his hands,’ remarked Peter Schmeicel, who is widely appreciated for being the finest ever keeper; ‘It was incredible.’ Another save from Omerod in the Final sealed it for Arsenal, and before the end of the day Seaman was lifting the cup with the very iron hands that had won it.

In all honesty, it’s not easy to pick out glaring examples of David Seaman’s goalkeeping nightmares, and his association with a DVD of the same name is insulting to his long and brilliant career. Like Tony Adams’s ‘Addicted,’ it is a strange cleansing exercise by someone who is filled with indecision and uncertainty about having to face retirement years before the human spirit is ready. Like ‘Addicted’ it has a masochistic quality, but then taking control of unearthing our own darkest and most embarrassing moments does deprive anyone else - the press, for example from being able to do so on our behalf.

Whatever David Seaman decides to do from here-on in, I’m sure I’m not alone in wishing him the very best. It would be nice to see him return to Arsenal in some coaching capacity, as Highbury is indisputably his rightful home - and Georgina, after all, looks much more comfortable wearing red and white!

Alicia Anderson
25/01/2004

564: Division 1: Canaries invest fo

by : David Hulott

CANARIES INVEST FOR SUCCESS

Back in October 1993, Mike Walker’s Norwich City came away from the Olympiastadion, Munich with a fully merited 2:1 win at the mighty Bayern Munich in the UEFA Cup, 2nd round, 1st leg. The second-leg was drawn 1:1 and with the club also performing admirably domestically, it seemed that the Canaries had arrived as a force in English football.

A few months earlier, Walker had requested the funds to bring in two new signings as the Norfolk side sat top of the Premiership, only to be turned down by the then chairman, Robert Chase. Within 18-months or so of the win in Germany, the dream was over, City were relegated and the club has spent every season since plying their trade in Division One.

Since his appointment in January 2001, Nigel Worthington has built a well-balanced squad, with a good spine to the team in the likes of Robert Green, Malky Mackay, Gary Holt and Paul McVeigh. The summer recruits of Jim Brennan, Damien Francis and Marc Edworthy certainly strengthened Worthington’s hand further still, but they still lacked the 20-goal striker he’d identified as his principal target in the close season.

It seemed that the club were destined for another season chasing a play-off place at best, but then Worthington pulled off something of a masterstroke in September, bringing in Darren Huckerby, Peter Crouch and Kevin Harper on loan. City’s fortunes took off almost instantaneously with Huckerby, who has so often flattered to deceive in the top-flight, becoming an immediate favourite with the fans.

Despite calls for all three to be signed, it did seem that there was little hope of the board releasing the funds required. It was difficult to argue with such prudence, given the lack of TV revenue after the collapse of ITV Digital and with so many clubs carrying crippling debts from years of paying inflated salaries to average players, it’s relatively rare these days for a Nationwide League club to take a calculated gamble on buying players in a bid to push for the Premiership.

However, enter majority shareholders Delia Smith and her husband Michael Wynn Jones with a £500,000 contribution to a new share issue, with the fans dipping into their pockets to contribute a further half-a-million plus, and Worthington was able to secure the services of not only Huckerby, but also those of fellow forwards Leon McKenzie and Mathias Svensson.

Now with in excess of 18,000 season ticket holders at Carrow Road, the feel-good factor at the club is at its highest since the halcyon days of Walker’s reign. A long overdue return to the Premiership could well be on the cards. Should they get there, further expenditure will surely be required to ensure that their stay in the Premiership is more than just a token season. Looks like Delia’s going to have to sell a few more pies.

David Hulott
26/01/2004

562: Nationwide on the up

by : Alex Wolstenholme

The Football League is considering a `rebranding` exercise to give its league competition and the first division in particular a stronger identity. Even without this though the league has recovered remarkably well from the dark days of a couple of seasons ago.

With ITV Digital no more and the Premiership all conquering, the future for a large number of football league clubs did look bleak. Although the collapse of ITV Digital was used as a blanket excuse for some poor management over the years by some clubs there’s no doubt it was a hammer blow to many.

But the Nationwide has come back from the dead, aided by a couple of factors. Firstly the Premiership has faced something of a backlash after ten years of unquestioning media coverage with criticism about its predictability. Although the effect of this may be overstated there is no doubt that some people will have turned to their local side for their Saturday afternoon entertainment.

The opening up of the league to the Conference and below has brought in some well run and well supported clubs such as Yeovil to replace clubs who had been hanging in the league for years, kept afloat only by the re-election system. Contrary to fears, relegation to the Conference has not been the abyss it was feared. The likes of Doncaster have come back into the league in better shape than ever before.

The Conference itself is a vibrant competition with rising crowds and full time teams. Ex-league teams Chester and Exeter are looking healthy and winning games.

The new financial reality facing clubs has meant that they have had to reconnect with their supporters (whether they wanted to or not). QPR, Barnsley, Hull and others are enjoying the fruits of this with better crowds and better facilities while supporters are starting to have a say in the future of their clubs. After years of secrecy at Coventry fans are now kept informed about all the major decisions that the club is taking and played their own part in the go-ahead for a new stadium after a plea by the club to do so.

And most importantly of all is those fans themselves. There will always be big clubs in the football league and their fans aren’t going to desert them for more exciting premiership action down the road. Having the likes of Sunderland, West Ham in the league means that average crowds are up again this season and with all three divisions still wide open that interest should be kept up until the end of the campaign.

Alex Wolstenholme
26/01/2004

561: FA Cup Fifth round - another c

by : Stephen Orford

The FA Cup has once again managed to throw up a potential clash of the titans as the draw for the fifth round was made on Monday lunchtime.

When the ties take place on the weekend of February 14 and 15 only sixteen clubs will maintain hopes of lifting the famous old trophy at Cardiff in May. While one of the big three of Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea will still be strongly fancied, the odds on a cheeky outsider carrying off the honours shortened slightly when Arsenal and Chelsea were drawn together in the fifth round's big tie.

Arsenal have faced Chelsea in each of the last three FA Cup competitions, and their record is flawless. They have come through each time and, indeed, have also gone on to reach the final in those years also. They will be bidding for a record-breaking fourth consecutive final appearance while Chelsea will view the FA Cup as one of many opportunities for their expensively assembled squad to pick up a trophy. The fact that the game is at Highbury may just giive the Gunners the edge that they need to dispose of their wealthy opponents, although much will depend on Arsene Wenger's selection policy.

Elsewhere there are two other all Premiership ties in round five. Firstly we have the possibility of a Manchester derby as United were drawn to face the winner of the Manchester City versus Tottenham tie. The two somehow contrived to draw 1-1 in Sunday's first tie as chance after chance was squandered on both sides. Perhaps the carrot of a match with the Champions in the last 16 will bring some much needed motivation to both strike forces.

Portsmouth, who have failed to win away from home all season in the league, will travel to Liverpool. Conquerers of Newcastle in round four, Liverpool will be heavily backed in this one, and Pompey's dismal away performances should see the Anfield club book their place in the quarter finals. The two meet again at Anfield in the league a week later. It is amazing how often that seems to happen with cup draws. Far be it from me to start conspiracy theories. I was the second gunman and all that, but fans of Arsenal and Middlesbrough might want to look into this theory a little closer after they ended up meeting four times in January due to the vagaries of cup draws. Still, at least they'll never meet in the Champions' League.

There was disappointment for the lower league sides remaining in the competition. The only non-league side left, Telford, will have a less than money-spinning home tie with Burnley should they pull off the minor miracle of knocking out Millwall in an as yet unplayed fourth round tie. The original fixture was called off on Saturday due to a waterlogged pitch. Third division Swansea have also managed to progress to the fifth round draw without so much as a sniff at one of the big boys. Their draw curse struck again when they were drawn away to second division Tranmere Rovers. The tie does at least guarantee the presence of a team outside the top two divisions in the quarter finals, but both would have been hoping for better things. Looking at it optmistically, both might well fancy their chances of progressing where a tie with a Premiership club will again be a possibility.

Some teams gain a reputation as being 'cup teams' over the years. It is usually the sort of nonsense that fans of increasingly desperate teams like Spurs or Newcastle hang on to for hope during the cold, barren, trophyless winters of discontent that they endure. However, Sheffield United might have a legitimate claim of this nature if their FA Cup progress continues. Semi finalists last year, the division one side have another great opportunity to progress to the quarter finals after landing a home tie with either Colchester United or Coventry City. Both are entirely beatable for Neil Warnock's men and a repeat of last year's heroics may not be beyond them.

That FA Cup Fifth Round Draw in full;

Manchester United v Manchester City or Tottenham Hotspur

Tranmere Rovers v Swansea City

Telford United or Millwall v Burnley

Sunderland v Birmingham City

Sheffield United v Colchester United or Coventry City

Arsenal v Chelsea

Liverpool v Portsmouth

Everton or Fulham v West Ham United

Stephen Orford
26/01/2004

563: PREMIERSHIP: Fighting Wolves s

by : Jason Walker

Manchester United and Arsenal are without a doubt the two most successful sides since the Premeirship’s introduction in 1993.
However they are not unbeatable, the teams playing them just need to show some belief and go into games against the big two thinking, “We can beat these”.

The likes of Bolton, Fulham and most recently Wolves have shown this with gutsy performances against Manchester United to defy all the critics.

Whilst relegation seems almost inevitable for the struggling midlanders Wolves will go back to Division One (if indeed that is their fate) happy in the knowledge that they provided the upset of the season.

It isn’t like it was a hugely weakened United team that they started against at Molineux a couple of weeks ago, the likes of Scholes, Van Nilsterooy and Howard all started the match.

Yet Wolves got in amongst them and didn’t let them pass the ball and in due course got their reward, a fantastic Kenny Miller winner on 67 minutes.

Earlier this season a spirited Fulham under the guidance of rookie boss Chris Coleman and hotly tipped for relegation in the summer went to Old Trafford and literally gave the Red Devils a battering. Winning 3-1 thanks to another gutsy, who the hell are you performance.

Going back through the archives Bolton beat Manchester United at Old Trafford in two consecutive seasons showing the world that the smaller teams can beat the big boys.

Lets not leave out Southampton either, who beat United 1-0 back in August thanks to the mercurial James Beattie.

Whilst Arsenal have yet to be beaten this season in the Premiership they too can be stopped. The likes of Leeds and Charlton have shown in recent seasons that it is possible with tremendous wins at Highbury.

Far too often you hear managers saying “Well a point would be fantastic”.

Yet instead of attacking the teams who are happy to settle for a draw or even a low score defeat at the hands of Arsenal and Manchester United let’s praise the likes of Wolves, Bolton, Fulham and Southampton who have shown that with the right belief, tactical awareness and fair amount of ability the big boys can be stopped.

The title surely will go to either Old Trafford or Highbury this season but if teams like Fulham and Wolves can upset the odds here and there it’ll make the run in, at both ends of the table, a helluva exciting one.

Jason Walker
26/01/2004

559: Sullivan delighted with the Bl

by : Dave Thrilling

The financial crisis that currently exists within the beautiful game makes it all the more remarkable that a Premiership team still trying to establish themselves in the top division have recently announced a profit on last years financial results. As Leeds United battle to stay in existence, Birmingham City directors continue to mould the midlands outfit into a club with ambitions to join the Premiership elite.

The Blues announced a record annual turnover of £36.5million that has doubled since last year, resulting in a profit after tax of £3.3million for the year ending August 31st 2003. The clubs first season in the Premiership after nearly two decades spent in the lower echelons of the football pyramid have allowed the board to benefit from television and other commercial income. In addition, the opportunity to see the likes of Dugarry against Manchester United as oppose to Adebola against Grimsby has unsurprisingly seen season tickets sales spiral.

Chairman David Sullivan was obviously delighted with the financial announcement but also highlighted the need for caution, stating, ''The board is well aware of the need to find the right balance between risk and reward and we will continue to manage the company profile accordingly.'' The directors have clearly given strong financial backing to Steve Bruce who was the most active manager in last years January transfer window purchasing several players to help confirm Premiership survival and then breaking the clubs transfer record to bring England International David Dunn to St.Andrews in the summer. However, the board are not prepared to follow the “Ridsdale strategy” of risking the clubs future and are under no illusions that transforming the club from Nationwide also-rans to UEFA Cup regulars is far from an overnight process.

After impressive early season form facilitated by eight clean sheets in ten games Birmingham currently lie comfortably in a mid-table position despite an inconsistent run of results in recent weeks. After surviving their first Premiership campaign with just a few games to spare, Blues have not dropped outside the top ten this term and while influential midfielder Robbie Savage recently urged further investment just to avoid another relegation battle, Bruce admitted that the hardest job was now approaching as he looks to take the club to the next level. Savage admitted, “It is up to the board to give Steve Bruce the money to go out and buy us the players for a place in Europe." The desire to persuade Finnish striker Mikael Forssell to sign a permanent contract together with reported transfer window bids for Martin Taylor, Danny Mills and most significantly Nicky Butt suggest Savage should have no fears over the club’s long-term ambitions.

Bruce had feared that a flurry of injuries would mean the need for a review of transfer policy he wants to adopt, stressing that “if the right ones are not available then I’ll wait until the summer because usually you’ve got a better chance of doing something than at this time of year”. Yet with key players Upson and Dugarry close to returning to first team action, a delve into the transfer market simply to retain squad size until the end of the season may not be required. Instead Bruce can concentrate on trying to attract the calibre of player that he needs to improve a team that has already been taken to the next level with his signings so far. Bruce has modelled his team on his own performances. He has quickly developed a squad brimming with spirit, desire and commitment. Players such as Clinton Morrison, Stephen Clemence and Jeff Kenna have all served the club well but there is a distinct lack of quality and depth to the squad if the club are to consistently challenge for European football.

The increase in merchandise and season tickets sales were perhaps expected rewards as a result of promotion from Division One, especially given Birmingham’s large fan base. However, the board have taken advantage of other money spinning opportunities. Only this weekend the club held a George Michael tribute night and any romantics in the second city may be interested in the upcoming Valentines function on offer. This may seem small fry but a 27% increase in corporate ventures proves the club once a laughing stock under Barry Fry is long forgotten. Sullivan, Karren Brady and the Gold brothers are innovative business people who are intent on making Steve Bruce the centre of the club’s long-term future despite frequent speculation that he is the natural successor to Alex Ferguson or Bobby Robson when they eventually retire.

With the exception of Comrade Abramovich’s bulging coffers and the global brand that is Manchester United, some of the traditional “big clubs” are struggling to attract some of top players on offer. Spurs are reliant on a new share scheme, Everton have been unable to capitalise on last season’s success while Birmingham’s local rivals Aston Villa face a player shortage in the summer. This year’s Premiership where 80% of the clubs are separated by just a few points and with so many facing significant financial constraints, Birmingham have the ideal opportunity to not only become established in the Premiership but perhaps a club that can become a force in Europe aswell. The set up is right, the ambition is there, and the finances are available. Only time will tell.

Dave Thrilling
26/01/2004

558: PREMIERSHIP: Houllier’s dj-v

by : Tom Levitt

The word optimism was invented for men like Gerard Houllier. Any Liverpool fan left depressed by another failure to take maximum points need only tune into Houllier’s post-match bout of sanguinity. Such a red fan will then realise that they could and surely should have won the game. They can also take satisfaction in the knowledge that if they had won the game and several more then their club would be top of the premier league.

After Liverpool’s 1-0 win over Chelsea Houllier rolled out one of his favourite lines, “we’ve had a difficult week”, translated as look everyone we can even win in a tough week so can you now see how we would win the league if we only had easier weeks.

Continuing on this theme then he explained why the league table was lying and how his team were in the wrong position. He said: “We were without five players at Newcastle, imagine them without Robert, Shearer and Ameobi? With these injury problems, I think our league position is not bad and pretty well everyone will be back in January. After that I think we will be really in there fighting strong to improve our position and get the top third place, which is not out of reach.”

Talk about pushing forward a best-case scenario, did the guy not by chance notice that Chelsea in third place are thirteen points clear of Liverpool? Does he think Liverpool could make up five wins on Chelsea? What exactly does optimism translate into in French? A deranged form of denial?

In English the word means looking to the future and not dwelling on past mistakes. Yet incessantly Houllier is found pointing to the past, he cannot help himself it seems from making the few alterations he believes would then correctly reflect his team’s Premier League position.

The truth is that the past only reveals a team that has failed to show a top three consistency since the last months of the 2001/2 season, when they finished second.

Liverpool fans may be left with a feeling of dj-vu after listening to Houllier’s explanations after every other match but it’s not the return of the title-winning days. Sadly for them it is just another manager talking up his record and trying to re-write history instead of learning from it.
Tom Levitt
22/01/2004

560: PREMIERSHIP: Leeds in Administ

by : Red Kitching

Ever since Leeds’ financial woes were brought to the attention of the football loving public, it has seen many people inside and outside the game draw parallels with what happened with Leicester City, probably the most high profile club to go into administration. Leeds are likely to go down that road in the future and only two saviours can save them, one on the pitch and one off it. They need to survive relegation at all costs. If they don’t it may be good-bye to Leeds Utd forever.

Let’s look at the events of Leicester to see what could happen in the near future:-

Leicester City had already gone down when their money troubles came to light. The recently completed Walkers Stadium (worth around £32m of the £50m debt the club had at the time of administration) the collapse of the ITV Digital deal and the cost of premiership wages in a division that could not support them cost Leicester dear. But all hope was not lost.

The Board of Directors at that time had agreed with the players and backroom staff that there would be a wage deferral of 25% and a complete bonus deferral until the end of that season. They also agreed with all but one of their creditors a repayment scheme that would mean Leicester would avoid going into administration, whilst ensuring that the creditors would be repaid in full in the fullness of time.

There was only one creditor who refused the repayment.

Eric Hall, agent of the recently sacked Dennis Wise, was furious that his client had been wrongly dismissed for breaking team-mate Callum Davidson’s cheek-bone. He was still owed money from the sale of Wise to Leicester and refused the creditor agreement. He decided to serve a winding up petition that would have led the club into bankruptcy and extinction. His reasoning for this I cannot comment on and my only hope is that it was not malicious.

This caused the directors to have to apply for creditor protection. Once this was done, administrators were appointed. The majority of the playing squad were made available on free transfers and even Muzzy Izzet was made available for transfer if the right offer came in. A large portion of the Non Playing staff were asked to leave immediately and the players even subsidised the wages of the kit cleaning staff to ensure they turned out in fresh shirts.

Over the next four months, Leicester lived day to day. There were times when the club came close to going out of business in this time. Fortunately, the Lineker Consortium managed to raise enough funding from local businessmen, former players like Emile Heskey and even the fans who weighed in with more than £100k in support of the club. The administrators then got agreement from the creditors for debt repayment and the new company was given the go ahead to come out of administration and it should have been plain sailing for Leicester City from then on.

It wasn’t.

Leicester were accused of cheating their way out of debt by every other club in the first division. There was talk of points docking and even relegation! As there was no law regarding football clubs in administration, nothing could be done, except the Football League took an unprecedented step of banning Leicester from signing any players on any terms before the end of the season. This was perceived to be punishment for any wrong-doing by the club.

So, what can Leeds expect if they go into administration? Certainly not any assistance from the authorities in the game. There is nothing in Premier League law that says that they are to be docked points and hopefully they will not suffer a deduction of points before the end of this season. Also, they will become fair game for comment from all of their opponents and virtually anyone with a voice on the game. Chairmen seeking to push themselves into the limelight (somewhat ironic given the publicity hungry former chairman that caused this whole mess) will say how Leeds should be penalised for not keeping their house in order.

I recommend developing a siege mentality in the dressing room to assist in keeping the club alive. Using the negative comments of others assisted Micky Adams in improving the results on the pitch, perhaps it will work for Leeds too.

My one hope is that Leeds will use the current situation to create a better, more frugal club in the future should they survive the dark times as Leicester have done.

Red Kitching
26/01/2004

555: Premiership predictions revisi

by : Jason Walker

It’s getting to that time of year again. Yes, time for a review of those early season predictions we all made down the pub after a few jars and now that we realise that we were completely wrong we rework them (whilst sober) and claim it’s all part of some genius masterplan.

I’m an avid Arsenal fan, and so of course I plumped for the Gunners to wrestle the title back from our northern neighbours and for Spurs to go down. Now, even I didn’t think Spurs would really be contenders for the drop pre season, I only predicted they’d drop a division because I’m a Gooner and I hate them. Yet halfway through the season and despite a mini revival of late I can proudly claim to have always known Spurs would down there fighting come the new year.

As for Arsenal winning the title, well there’s a great chance as the not so strapped for cash Chelsea millionaires begin to falter alarmingly and Man United show signs of defensive weaknesses. However although Arsenal are not entirely a one man team I shudder to imagine the consequences if Thierry Henry were to be injured long term and that’s why I think Arsene Wenger must act quick and land either Defoe, Angel or Alan Smith in the current transfer window to boost a weak attack if you look beyond the mercurial Henry.

I expected Newcastle to guarantee themselves the fourth Champions League spot although now I’m not so sure, Liverpool look to be progressing gradually whilst Villa have picked up in recent weeks. Charlton and Fulham will not finish in the top five however and that’s purely down to the fact that you can’t sell your best players to the big boys your trying to catch up. Whilst Scott Parker is still a Charlton player the Louis Saha transfer saga which has ended with the Frenchman eventually landing his dream move to United makes you wonder for just how long the young England starlet will be at the Valley for.

For relegation, alongside Spurs I had Wolves and Leeds on my list and although I feel Leicester’s alarmingly inept defending and amazing inability to play decent football will see them replace Spurs in eighteenth spot I’m happy with my other two predictions. Despite an historic victory over Manchester United recently Wolves do not possess the quality to stay up and as for Leeds it is just one crisis after another which looks almost certain to end in the club dropping out of the top flight and possibly out of existence.

Jason Walker
19/01/2004

557: PREMIERSHIP: What have Chelsea

by : Steven Coventry

Apparently Charlton are unhappy with Chelsea’s continuing pursuit of their prize asset, England midfielder Scott Parker. According to the Charlton Chairman, Martin Simons, Chelsea (and in particular their billionaire owner) should ‘get lost’ and stop bullying smaller clubs into selling their best players. But what exactly have Chelsea done wrong?

Charlton have complained that the publicity has unsettled Parker. But who was it that made Chelsea’s approach public? Charlton. What have Chelsea said about this in public? Nothing. Chelsea have made a legitimate bid for the player within the laws of the game and, unlike other clubs, they haven’t publicly tried to unsettle the player. Nor have their been pictures of Parker being smuggled from Chelsea’s training ground or holding clandestine meetings with senior Chelsea management. I’m not nave enough to think that there has been no contact between Chelsea and Parker’s representatives, but the club have been less naked in their pursuit than, say, Manchester United have been over Saha and Robben.

Charlton might have a legitimate case if they had stated that the player was not for sale at any price, but having rejected Chelsea’s second bid because they were unhappy that the fee was linked to appearances, Charlton have sent out the clear signal that this is about extracting the maximum price possible.

Until recently, living in London, I had honestly never met anyone who supported Charlton. It became a running joke – “does ANYONE support Charlton?” - but I was wrong. No one can patronise Charlton these days. They are a well-run, well-supported, medium-size Premiership club with realistic hopes of European football. They are at least as ‘big’ a club today as Tottenham, and, unlike their North London rivals, they have feasible plans to move up to the next level, rather than living on past glories and a belief that they have a divine right to be a ‘big club’. Charlton simply can’t claim to be making a stand for the ‘small clubs’

They also have no right to moan about the affect that Abramovich’s billions has had on the game. West Ham fans might not like it, but do you think that the directors at the club are cursing Chelsea for putting £12 million into their kitty over the summer? And hold on, aren’t Charlton themselves benefiting from the Abramovich revolution in the shape of on-loan Carlton Cole?

So it’s time for Charlton to stop playing the role of the downtrodden small-club. Alan Curbishley is clearly a talented manager. But just as another talented young manager before him – David O’Leary – played the, “they’re only a team of young lads, you shouldn’t expect too much” card ad nauseam at Leeds, so it’s time that Curbishley gave it a rest about ‘little old’ Charlton.

The truth is that Charlton know that Parker will leave (although they may very well hang on to him until the summer), and they are holding out for the best price possible, while demonstrating to their fans that they have done everything possible to hold onto the player. Fine. It’s a legitimate tactic. But it’s time that they stopped playing the victim and ditched the mock moral outrage.

Steven COventry
22/01/2004

556: NORTHERN IRELAND: Still crazy,

by : Stephen Orford

The appointment of Lawrie Sanchez as Northern Ireland manager came as something of a surprise to many observers in the game. Hot favourite for the post had been Dunfermline assistant manager Jimmy Nicholl, but after much deliberating since the defection of Sammy McIlroy to Stockport County, it was former Crazy Gang member Sanchez who got the nod.

Rumours abound that Nicholl could not agree personal terms for the position. Whether this is another way of saying that he wanted too much money is unclear, but it is easy to see why any prospective candidate for this thankless task might want a hefty financial incentive. Northern Ireland are now among the poorer relations in world football, having failed to qualify for a major tournament since the 1986 World Cup in Mexico. They haven't even come close to success in recent qualifying campaigns, and all of this against the backdrop of the relative success of the Republic of Ireland team over the last 15 years.

Now, it falls upon former Wycombe Wanderers manager Sanchez to revitalise Northern Irish football. The man with the Spanish sounding surname will be assisted in his new job by Sky Sports Spanish football guru Gerry Armstrong. It is hoped that his knowledge of the European game will prove invaluable to Sanchez, who signs a two-year contract. However, this is not the first time that Armstrong's expertise has been called upon by the Northern Irish FA. The former Watford and Real Mallorca man was assistant to Bryan Hamilton between 1994 and 1998. Between them, they failed to pull up too many trees but the problems in Northern Irish football run deeper than meets the eye. Though it is an honour to be given an international managerial position, this is not a good time to become manager of Northern Ireland.

It is well documented that Northern Ireland have failed to find the net in a very, very long time. Their failure to trouble the scorers is international football's longest running-joke. The reasons for this shortfall of goal-power are easy to see. Most of the modern day Northern Ireland squad is made up of players from lower reaches of the English Nationwide League. Asking players to step up from that level to international level is an unrealistic objective, and work needs to be done at grass roots to develop players who can progress to a higher level of football domestically.

Over the years Northern Ireland have been able to call on stars like Best, Jennings, Whiteside and O'Neill. It used to be the dream of many a Northern Irish boy to make the journey across the Irish Sea to one of England's big hitters. That dream may still exist, but with the influx of more and more foreign talent into the English Premiership, it is becoming increasingly unlikely. The argument that the cream will always rise to the top is becoming a little tired. We now seem to have reached a point when even the youth teams of the great and the good are filled with budding young Eurostars, so what chance for the young talent of Northern Ireland?

Scottish football now seems to be making a slight recovery from a similar problem, with Darren Fletcher of Manchester United and James McFadden of Everton particularly prominent in the Premiership this season. Northern Ireland, and Sanchez, must follow their lead if they are to have any hope of regaining the respectability of Northern Irish teams of old. Their qualification group for the 2006 World Cup in Germany should offer some much needed limelight for the game in Northern Ireland, containing as it does an array of British rivals with the presence of both England and Wales. Games against these two are bound to be ultra-competetive, but at the moment for all their hard work and endeavour you cannot see Northern Ireland getting much change out of a highly regarded England and a resurgent Wales. It will be Sanchez's task to ensure that respectability is gained, given that qualification from a group that also contains Austria and Poland seems a distant dream.

Sanchez starts his reign with a friendly against Norway at Windsor Park on February 18 before taking his team on a three game tour of the Carribbean. By the start of the next domestic season the serious stuff will be on the horizon. It is difficult to see how Sanchez can turn the situation around by then. The appointment of a man recently sacked by an English second division side is indicative of the lack of options available to Northern Ireland at present. It is interesting to note that the Northern Irish manager currently enjoying the most success at club level, Martin O'Neill, never had his name mentioned in connection with the job. It is a sign of the times for Northern Ireland that managing Celtic is an infinitely more prestigious post.

I would guess that a few more managers will come in and out of the Northern Ireland hot-seat before the national team can begin to truly recover from its present slumber. Sanchez, capped three times by Northern Ireland as a player, will offer pride, passion and professionalism. However, football is a results based business and it is difficult to see how he can achieve the results that will allow him a long tenure in the job. Despite this, he does at least have an opportunity to lay the foundations for the recovery of the national team. Though he may not be in the job when it comes to fruition, he may yet play an important part in restoring the pride in Northern Irish football in years to come.

Stephen Orford
22/01/2004

554: ‘Uncle Jonny’: The First Lette

by : Jonny Hall

Checking my e-mail inbox this morning, I sifted through the junk mail until my eyes fixed on one. From: Jack Ferguson, Subject: Uncle Jonny. It read…

“Uncle Jonny,

Thought you’d be the ideal person to get in touch with as I’m preparing to return to playing football.

I know I’ve not played since I was fifteen, but the chance to sign up for ‘Eastway Rovers FC’ in the East Cheam Sunday League Division Six was too good an opportunity to miss. Decent set-up, convenient training time, a few familiar faces, all the old banter awaits. And I was wondering if you could offer some advice on how I should go about it, having ‘been there, done that’ kind of thing.

As we’ve not been in touch for a while, I’ll put you in the picture by explaining where I’m at right now. I stopped playing football competitively when I was fifteen – that’s four years of withdrawal symptoms. I feel like Tom Hanks on his deserted island in Castaway. Well, not quite that bad, but I have felt alienated from football. The past four years have been a busy time in my life, a time when football wasn’t the only thing on my mind. So I suppose circumstances and times change, but I’ll not go into all that unless you want to hear it?

I’m proud of where I am at the minute and there’s only one thing missing I think – and that’s playing football again. Just doing some exercise would be a good start because I do very little and it’s about time I got off my backside. To be honest, I just need to get fit, get sharp, get that dedication back. Is it simply a matter of being patient? I have all the confidence in the world that once I get a feel for the ball again I’ll still have ‘the touch’. I’ve still got the know-how ‘up there’. Though, having a quick brain is one thing but quick feet…

I have one or two things in mind on how I can get fit but I want to take your advice on board before I do anything. Any advice you have, Jonny, would be greatly appreciated.

Hope the weather’s a little warmer out there,
Will catch you on the MSN messenger soon,

Bye for now,

Jack.”

God bless the Internet. A reply is ‘in the post’ tomorrow, Jack…

--

Jonny Hall
21/01/2004

553: The agitator #2

by : Antony Melvin

It is reported that Tottenham have bid five million pounds, coincidentally the amount rumoured to be needed to keep Leeds going, for the services of Paul Robinson and James Milner. That Leeds have rejected this offer may just be evidence that they are driving a harder bargain than Tottenham anticipated. If Spurs come back with an improved offer it may just be that common sense will prevail. It has to be said that offering five million pounds for two young players of great talent like Robinson and Milner is a classic example of another Premiership club trying to take advantage of another's financial problems. While Tottenham have a responsibilty to get the best deal possible, Leeds' financial position must not lead them into shipping out players on the cheap as they did with Harry Kewell.

The board are making one or two attempts to release players. Today it was announced that Roque Junior will be having his contract terminated by the club. The Brazillian who is routinely referred to as a 'World Cup winner', has showed nothing of his pedigree during his short spell with Leeds United and it is perhaps wise that the two part company. However, two more players have refused to sign termination agreements despite being told that they are no longer required at Elland Road. Zoumana Camara and Didier Domi seem determined to dig their heels in, for reasons best known to themselves. All of which does nothing to help Leeds' cause, making a high profile sale an increasing possibility.

And all of this because they chased the dream of challenging Manchester United and Arsenal's Premiership duopoly. Sometimes boldness is not rewarded as we would like.

By Stephen Orford
22/01/2004The secret diary of the man who gets things done.

MONDAY

Arsenal are still pleading poverty and that they aren’t interested in players. So a little mischief-making is in order. Jermain Defoe is a £12m target (Mirror) – as if anyone would pay that much for little lad with anger management issues. Tried to attract interest in Henrik Larsson by reprinting last Mondays he’s-off-to-Barca story (Sun). No, Newcastle, no.

Desperate call from Carl Cort, who wasn’t impressed with an offer to star in a sequel to the ‘Hollow Man’ film. In a bid to entice Middlesbrough we linked Cort to Portsmouth on loan for the rest of the season (Mirror). If we could get Middlesbrough interested this would tie in well with our ongoing negotiations for big Emile at Anfield. As a sweetener we eased the pressure on Houllier by suggesting that O’Neill was out of the picture following a recent outburst (Sun). Saha

TUESDAY
Attempted to play all ends against the middle in the Leeds debacle, with the players fighting a wage cut (Sun), backing a wage cut (Mirror) and being sold (Mail). No real purpose here, just a ‘for laughs’ exercise. Unable to stop Cort going to Wolves, how many strikers are left that might interest ‘Boro – does anyone know where Ade Akinbiyi lives?

Operation upset Man Utd entered week two with a reprint of a Cubic Explosion takeover bid (Mirror). Fergies nose was purple at the prospect of suing a major shareholder, we think his nose colour will disappear off the visible spectrum if they turn out to be his bosses. Opened book – Ultra Violet now clear favourite by the end of the season.

WEDNESDAY
As the transfer window approaches its final week, the agitator office staff are working all hours to contrive the right results for our clients. And in order to mask Arsenal’s real intentions we chucked a couple of bones to the baying press hyenas. But is anyone really taken in speculation surrounding Jose Reyes joining Arsenal for £20m (Mail) or Patrick Kluivert joining in the summer (Star).

Tried to get some movement at Chelsea, every agents favourite club, by suggesting that Wayne Bridge was about to be replaced (Express) or that Cudicini was off to Italy (Sun). After all its one out and three in at the Bridge these days. And in a surprise move Liverpool are pondering a bid for Taribo West (Sun), which is a surprise to everyone who wasn’t aware of his contract negotiations.

THURSDAY
Birmingham are muddying the waters of Nicky Butt’s move to Spurs by cavalierly bidding £5m cash money for him (Mirror/Independent)! Tried to demonstrate what £5m can get you to muddy the waters. The £15m rights issue at Spurs means they are perfect foils, so Spurs want to spend £5m on Paul Robinson and Eirik Bakke (Sun) or £5m on Robinson and James Milnor (Guardian), or improve on the £5m bid for Andy Reid and Michael Dawson (Star). Leeds also want to sell Smith for £5m (Telegraph).

Wolves have offered £2m for Ricardo Fuller (Independent) due to his prolific Nationwide goalscoring record, a record he can therefore continue next season. Meanwhile desperately trying to drum up interest in Larsson by suggesting talks at Newcastle (Guardian), the third link in a week in an attempt to stop him retiring.

FRIDAY
After another chat to Michael Owen we let a ‘we will wait until after Euro 2004 before discussing a new contract’ story leak (Mirror), a nice counterpoint to GH’s assertion that contract negotiations will start soon (BBC). Nicky Butt might stay at Man Utd (Independent) – come and get me plee if ever we’ve planted one.

The Leeds speculation fire sale is in full flow with bids a-go-go. Newcastle to buy Smith and loan him back (Sun) and Manchester United to get Milnor (Telegraph/Star). Struck back with a Machiavellian move for Newcastle by suggesting they sign Gudjohnsen for £5m (Express), to panic Leeds into selling Smith. Leeds response, that they are persuading former players and managers to defer payments (Express), was unlikely to persuade anyone.

Weekend
L.A., party.

Antony Melvin was routing through the bins of the rich and powerful.

551: Louis Saha… Saviour of Manches

by : Red Kitching

So, Louis Saha has got his move. Fulham have got their money and Manchester United have got their man. But is he the right man? And at £12m is it a good investment?

Sir Alex Ferguson has been struggling this year with his purchases. The spectre of David Beckham, dressed in white and playing out of his skin in Spain, looms large over Kleberson, Djemba-Djemba and David Bellion, who have all struggled this year (the two former somehow ahead of Nicky Butt). Cristiano Ronaldo is only one for the future – if he cuts down on the step overs he might be a great player – but he has to be given the time his age requires to mature into a star of the world game. Only goalkeeper Tim Howard has shown the type of form and consistency you would associate with defending champions. And now there has been the dogged pursuit and purchase of Louis Saha to add to these misfiring outfield players.

No one would dispute the fact that Fergie needed to buy another striker to go with Ruud Van Nistelrooy and he has been linked to virtually every striker outside the big 5 in his pursuit. Mark Viduka, Alan Smith and Jermain Defoe were the strongest links to Old Trafford and all have done good work in the Premiership in recent times, but they have chosen a young Frenchman in London who is having the season of his life.

Saha has shown that he is capable of scoring goals at the highest level this year too (and on occasion in the previous two seasons), but he has only shown any consistency this (half) season. The past two seasons he has been played up front with a partner, either Steve Marlet or Barry Hayles, and he wasn’t in the upper echelons of the premium marksmen in the top division. This season has seen him score regularly whilst playing as a lone striker with the excellent Steed Malbranque as the chief string-puller behind him. £12m seems steep for a player who has done the business for half a season. Especially considering that makes him allegedly worth 2.5 times Nicky Butt! He may only be 23, but that is a heck of a gamble who is expected to produce the goods immediately.

What will Fergie do with the Frenchman? He has already proved that he works better as a lone striker, so will he try to pair him with the similar Van Nistelrooy? It seems an odd buy as you would guess that perhaps Saha will only play when Van Nistelrooy is out injured. And for a reserve, £12m seems excessive.

Given the choice, I would have paid Leeds the money on the link man cum striker Mark Viduka. He has more than a hint of Cantona about his ability and would be able to fit into the Manchester Utd formula very well. Then again, I write about football and Fergie is paid to manage a football club, so what do I know? Only time will tell.

Red Kitching
20/01/2004

550: Could Leeds and Liverpool foll

by : Jason Walker

As four times European Cup winners Liverpool drift around the mid table spot and Champions League semi - finalists of a few years ago Leeds contemplate relegation and possibly bankruptcy you only have to look at poor Nottingham Forest to see how it can all go horribly wrong, and quickly too…

13 years ago Nottingham Forest were beaten 2-1 in the FA Cup final by Spurs. It was the day that effectively ruined Gazza’s career with that infamous challenge on Gary Charles, but how many people present that day would have thought that just over a decade later Forest would be fighting for survival in the first division?

Play-off semi-finalists last season Nottingham Forest had done relatively well given the dire financial position of the club, however how on earth did that promotion pushing side suddenly turn into a relegation fighting one?

When Forest were relegated from the Premiership, in its debut season eleven years ago, it signalled the end of an era. A sad, desperate Brian Clough saw his twenty-something, trophy laden year reign tarnished by relegation, in stepped former player Frank Clark, Roy Keane moved to Manchester United, whilst the likes of Stan Collymore and Kevin Campbell arrived. Forest immediately returned to the Premiership, yet just three later the club spiralled into uncontrollable debt and slid back to division one, again they returned but again they fell back and that’s where they’ve stayed since.

Comparison’s can be made with both Leeds and Liverpool, Leeds are in uncontrollable debt and near certainties for a once unthinkable drop to the first division, whereas Liverpool are in a slow decline, fourteen years without a league title and even unable to assure a European place nowadays, things surely have to change. Liverpool fans and players and managers alike can no longer think they have a divine right to be champions or a regular European side. They, like everyone else must fight for that right.

For Leeds it is too late, they will play division one footie next season, of that I’m sure. As for Liverpool they have to watch, Houiller is full of excuses and needs to leave. Yet Liverpool have to be smart with their replacement, surely it has to be Martin O’Neill, a European Cup winner under Cloughie at Forest who joins or they could one day end up like the once great, but now tragic Nottingham Forest.

Jason Walker
19/01/2004

537: Footballs sick sense of humour

by : Red Kitching

Red Kitching thinks that the Liverpool versus Newcastle United tie could end a managerial career.

You can just imagine how the 4th Round F.A. Cup draw was anticipated in the manager’s offices at Anfield and St. James’ Park. Apart from the race for fourth place in the Premiership (!), this represents a realistic opportunity of silverware for the success-starved masses in the red of Liverpool and the Black and White of Newcastle.

Gerard Houllier’s problems this season have been there for all to see: too inconsistent, too brittle at the back and not enough up front. The major money paid out for the ‘stars’ of summer 2002 have not brought the expected push from 2nd in 2001 to champions in the following seasons. Instead they have gone into reverse and this has deservedly brought criticism to Monsieur Houllier’s door. This season has seen them struggling to even keep pace with 4th position and it is in no way guaranteed that they will finish in that elusive 4th Champions League spot. The usually silent Liverpool chairman has been quoted as saying that a minimum of Champions League football is required, which means that Gerard Houllier has the weight of the world on his shoulders. ‘How a good F.A. Cup run could boost morale and help us get something out of a season that has so far been disappointing to say the least’ Gerard must have thought as the balls started being chosen.

Up in the North East, Sir Bobby Robson has had his own problems this year. A poor start to the campaign put an end to any hopes of building on last year’s 3rd place in the league, despite Alan Shearer continuing to bang in goals like the machine he quite obviously is and Laurent Robert playing out of his skin. Add to this a calamitous exit from the final Champions League qualifier and an early end to their Carling Cup campaign and it has been underachievement all the way. Like Liverpool, the chairman has criticised the team recently as well, so it is becoming a make or break year for Sir Bob too. ‘How a good F.A. Cup run could boost morale and help us get something out of a season that has so far been disappointing to say the least’, Sir Bob must have thought as the balls started being chosen.

Then, after a few interesting ties came out…

‘Liverpool…. Will play… Newcastle’.

There you have it. The law of Sod comes into effect and the two teams that need a cup run desperately to turn their season’s into a success are drawn together in almost a winner takes all scenario. A victory over the closest rivals for the final Champions League spot could give a vital edge to the successful team and a chance to push on in the second half of the season.

An interesting side-plot is that this game could have some bearing on the summer destination of a certain Irish football manager in Glasgow. Martin O’Neill has been strongly linked with the position at Liverpool but there have also been mutterings in the press that he could replace Sir Bob should targets not be met. The winner may take all, but the loser could end up with the manager du jour.

Who will win though?

Although they have home advantage and Michael Owen returning to the side, I think that Newcastle will find the impetus they need for a good second half to the season and will run out winners in a tight game.

I would imagine the mobiles of Celtic’s major shareholder and chairman, Dermot Desmond and Brian Quinn respectively, will be switched off right after the game no matter who wins.

552: PREMIERSHIP: The options for L

by : Stephen Orford

If they are to avoid going into administration the board, management and players of Leeds United face some very difficult decisions this week.

Having temporarily managed to stave off this threat the Elland Road club were given an additional seven days to find the money needed to keep them in business for the rest of the season. In all likelihood, if the money is not raised by this coming Monday (January 26) then Leeds United will become the first Premiership club to be placed into the hands of administrators. The figure required to rescue the club from this fate is said to be around five million pounds, but it seems that finding the best way to raise this cash is causing yet more friction at the stricken club.

Earlier in the week the Leeds United players were asked what they thought of the idea of deferring a percentage of their wages until the end of the season. At first the response seemed positive as it emerged that the players had agreed to this in principle. However, it was later reported that the players were only prepared to do this as a last resort, and that it would only happen at the end of the month if at all. With the wolf at the door it seemed that the end of the month would be too late. Leading the players on their stance, and possibly leadiing the famous old club into financial meltdown in the process was PFA Chairman Gordon Taylor. Taylor explained that the players had every right to expect their contracts to be paid in full when they signed them, and that a deferral of wages should not be something that the players should feel obliged to undertake.

This is a typical and understandable view for any union representative to take. However, when it is applied to footballers it becomes overly simplistic. These are men who are paid not in hundreds of pounds, like the mere mortals among us, but in tens of thousands of pounds per week. Is it really asking too much for them to do without that extra Ferrari so that one of English football's biggest clubs can survive for a while longer? After all, wasn't it the players who contributed to the current plight of Leeds United? Although several of their colleagues were sold off around them, it is the players whose performances have led to the very real threat of relegation from the Premiership, which in turn causes major financial difficulties.

Today (Thursday January 22) the players have issued another statement insisting that no decision has yet been taken as to whether or not any wage deferral will be accepted. This despite the earlier reports that they were not prepared to defer wages until at least the end of the month. Regular readers of my work will be wary of my cynicism, but I would suggest that this statement is a response to public opinion. It seems that the Leeds United players have become aware that the public expects them to do the decent thing, given the absurd amounts of money that they earn.

Unhelpfully adding to the debate is Sunderland Football Club. Chairman Bob Murray and manager Mick McCarthy have both spoken today of the fact that the Sunderland players recently agreed to a 25% wage deferral to save their club. All of which adds yet more pressure on the Leeds players to follow suit as time runs out for the club. Quite whether the Leeds situation is any business of those at Sunderland is questionable, but they have certainly set an interesting precedent for Leeds to follow.

It is not only the players who are causing problems for Leeds United with their stubborn behaviour. The board are steadfastly refusing to sell any more of their players. Wary of past criticism during the now infamous Elland Road fire sales over the last eighteen months, the board are adamant that the likes of Robinson, Viduka and Smith will not be sold to ease the financial crisis at the club. Aswell as fears of a backlash from fans, the board must also have very real fears that more sales will only rubber-stamp Leeds' relegation from the Premiership into the Nationwide League. This would have devastating financial consequences for the club regardless of whether they enter the Nationwide League in administration or not. However, is it not possible that this current Leeds United team will suffer relegation whether or not more players are sold in the current window? Relegation, whether Leeds United's fans, players and board like it or not is a distinct possibility. Surely it would be wiser to enter the Nationwide League on something like a secure financial footing. Relegation would lead to the exits of these players in any case as it has with many of the star players formerly with West Ham United, and it may just be time for the board to bite the bullet.

548: Fergies lost the plot

by : David Hulott

While Fulham may protest at the manner in which Louis Saha was prised away from the club, I can't help but think there must be a fair amount of sniggering in the Cottagers' boardroom at having secured a reported £12 million for a six-month golden spell of form.

Even allowing for United’s long apparent need for a striker to support/back-up Ruud van Nistelrooy, Saha looks a highly questionable, not to mention expensive, addition to the roster. The main basis for his signing seems to largely revolve around him being available for Champions League action, as otherwise it would surely have made far more sense to go for someone of genuine quality, like Mateja Kezman or Adriano?

Saha isn’t the first dodgy signing at Old Trafford in recent times either. Many seem to regard Cristiano Ronaldo as a real throwback to the wing wizards of yesteryear. Unfortunately, the wing wizard in question is Charles “Charlie” Charles from the classic Harry Enfield sketch. The fact that Sir Alex Ferguson paid in excess of £12 million for a one-trick pony beggars belief! His signing increasingly resembles a panic measure after missing out on Ronaldinho.

Indeed, it does appear that having failed to sign the Brazilian in the summer, Ferguson decided to embark on a major overhaul of his entire squad as a consequence. Whilst it's obviously a sensible policy to try and ensure the squad doesn’t grow stale, it does seem that the majority of the new recruits over the past six months or so (with the notable exception of the excellent Tim Howard) lack the quality that one has come to expect from the Red Devils – well, either that or David Bellion has some talents that are remarkably well hidden.

With speculation rife that racing tycoons John Magnier and JP McManus could be on the verge of launching a takeover at Old Trafford, Ferguson's days could be numbered. The legal wrangle between Ferguson and Magnier over ownership rights of Rock of Gibraltar seem particularly bitter and it would appear unlikely in the extreme that two such stubborn and bloody-minded figures would ever be able to work together.

With that in mind, and with some of the recent recruits looking so mediocre, it's beginning to look as if Fergie's developed a form of footballing Munchausen's Syndrome by proxy. Rather than let someone inherit the squad that he has so lovingly built over the years, it’s as if he has made a conscious decision to rip the heart out of it and leave a set of sub-standard players for the next incumbent.

No, that could never happen….could it?

David Hulott
21/01/2004

544: The Great FA Cup Price Hike

by : Stephen Orford

When you have been languishing around the lower reaches of the football pyramid for as long as you can remember, a chance to mix it with the big boys in the FA Cup is just about as good as it gets. Fans of Northampton Town and Scarborough must be wringing their hands in anticipation of their clubs' fourth round ties against Manchester United and Chelsea respectively.

When your team is more used to taking on the likes of York City and Burton Albion, it is not often you get the opportunity to welcome Ruud Van Nistelrooy or Hernan Crespo to your humble surroundings, but how much would you reasonably expect to pay for the privelege of seeing these great stars in action? Both Northampton Town and Scarborough have placed significant increases on ticket prices for these dream ties in an effort to bring in some much needed funds to their club coffers. The question is, is this the right thing to do? Should loyal fans be expected to dig deep into their pockets just because footballing royalty is coming to town?

In a word, maybe. It is reported that Northampton Town are to charge their fans 35 pounds for entrance into their FA Cup tie. A bumper crowd is still expected, and with the extra revenue from television rights the club is set to make a pretty penny from the whole shebang, regardless of how much they charge fans to get in to the ground on the day. However, it must be remembered that it is unlikely that the Cobblers will enjoy a game of this magnitude for a very long time to come. By paying the extra money for a one-off tie, fans of both Northampton and Scarborough will be helping to raise funds for their clubs, hopefully ensuring a more secure future.

The last time Northampton Town met Manchester United, George Best waltzed around Cobblers defenders as if they were training cones on his way to a remarkable six goals in an 8-2 United win. Surely any fan worth their salt would pay 35 pounds for the right to say that they were there on the day that one of the world's best ever players put on a veritable dribbling clinic. Though a repeat of Best's masterclass that day is highly unlikely, the present Manchester United side still possesses enough quality to ensure a rare treat for Northampton Town fans. If the stars don't perform then perhaps town fans can start dreaming of an upset. If it is worth 35 pounds to witness the brilliance of Van Nistelrooy, Scholes and company, it is impossible to put a price on actually being there on the day the little guys brought the mighty giants crashing down to earth.

Scarborough have decided on a more modest price rise for the visit of Chelsea. Fans of the Conference side can expect to pay 10 pounds more than they would do for any other fixture at the McCain Stadium after their thrilling 1-0 win over Southend United in round three. If an upset between Northampton Town and Manchester United is unlikely, then words fail me in my attempts to describe the probability of Scarborough pulling off what would be the shock of all shocks against the richest team on the block at the moment. Still, while the dream is alive the fans will flock to witness it.

Some may see this price hiking policy as exploitation. Who wants to pay well over the odds to watch their teams probable annhialation? I understand their argument that their loyalty should be rewarded but these really are exceptional circumstances. Besides, it's the word "probable" which forces the hand of every regular fan of Northampton Town and Scarborough.

You never know in football. You just never know.

Stephen Orford
16/01/2004

Manchester United subsequently offered to subsidise their fans by £10 per ticket.

549: Premiership: Fergies got it ri

by : Antony Melvin

Last Christmas it seemed clear to many observers, including this one, that the Manchester United machine was in danger of collapse. Drifting in the title race and never better that well backed outsiders in the Champions League United looked to have fallen a long way from the flamboyant 1999 team that terrorised Juventus in Turin and turned almost definite defeats into victories in a series of epic encounters against Munich and Arsenal. That team was gone and the replacement team was simply not as good.

To put it in context: who would have bet money on United beating Arsenal in any competition after last Christmas? In 1999 they went into injury time in the FA Cup with ten-men after Keane was sent-off, Schmeichel made a penalty save from Bergkamp and they went on to win the tournament after that goal from Ryan Giggs. A year ago Manchester United were a laughable distance from those heights.

So come the summer, and despite a lucky title win on the back of a desperately tired Arsenal team doing a passable impression of Devon Loch in the finishing straight, things needed changing. In particular the largely home-grown midfield needed refreshing. Ferguson had been experimenting with a 4-2-3-1 and had some notable successes with it, for example, beating Arsenal 2-0 with Veron and Phil Neville as the ‘2’. The midfield was at the end of last season was getting too old, with an average age of 28/29 and no youngsters. Keane 31, Giggs 29, Scholes 28, Beckham 28, Butt 28, Veron 27, Phil Neville 26 and Quinton Fortune 26 were all at or near their peak years but were being over-run when faced with athletic younger midfields.

These were players groomed for Champions League games where quality is more important than athleticism. The more hectic nature of the Premiership meant that this needed addressing. So in came Ronaldo 19, Kleberson 24, Djemba-Djemba 22, Bellion 21 and there was promotion for Fletcher 19 from the reserves. Out went the big names of Beckham and Veron. When you make such a wholesale set of changes which include selling international superstars for largely unproven younger players you are unlikely to challenge too strongly for honours. Most commentators would agree that a midfield that is stripped of Beckham and Veron is weakened whoever is brought in to replace them.

But the new United players have done well. Winning a Champions League group with 5 wins from 6, topping the league at Christmas and easing past Aston Villa in the cup means that there is far more optimism about United this January than last. Coupled with an excellent goalkeeping recruit in Tim Howard

Neither Fletcher nor Ronaldo are as good this season as Beckham is, but they have 10-15 seasons ahead of them whereas Beckham is unlikely to extend his career for more than 3 more seasons after this one. Kleberson seems a sounder bet than Veron for the Premiership and if either Bellion or Djemba-Djemba come good it will be a bonus.

As the average age of the midfield has dropped back towards 25 the team has become more athletic, more direct and usually more effective. Ferguson’s genius, like Wenger at Arsenal, is that he can build teams where the constituent parts do not appear to be special but as a combination they exude synergy and become more than the sum of their parts. Look at the first choice sides that Liverpool and Newcastle can put out and compare them to Arsenal and Manchester United and there is nothing in it. Owen, Shearer, Henry or van Nistelrooy? Kewell, Dyer, Pires or Giggs? Gerard, Speed, Keane or Vieira? Kirkland, Given, Howard or Lehman? Hyypia, Woodgate, Ferdinand or Campbell? And on it goes.

The best teams are just that; teams. And sometimes the big egos need to leave clubs to allow teams to grow. So Arsenal said adios to Petit and Overmars and were successful in the same way that United did to Beckham and Veron. If the replacements aren’t as good that’s fine as long as the team is improved.

This new team will probably run out of steam this season and end up empty-handed – but it is still better than the team of a year ago, and has room to improve. Surely that is proof positive that Ferguson has embarked on building his third great team that will probably peak in 2005/6. These are not the actions of a manager who has lost the plot.

Antony Melvin
21/01/2004

547: Transfer window: Louis Saha

by : Stephen Orford

And so it appears to have ended in the only way that it could have done. Louis Saha's on-off transfer from Fulham to Manchester United finally looks set to go through at some point this week, with a fee of around 12 million pounds thought to be the French striker's price. However, despite the obvious spending power of the Champions, the proposed deal has still dragged on, turning into a saga that even George Lucas might lose patience with.

As anybody in football, or indeed anybody who follows football will know, ultimately everybody has their price. When Manchester United first declared their interest in the former Metz and Newcastle man Chris Coleman stood defiantly against the idea of letting his man go. He told everybody who was prepared to listen that Saha would definitely not be leaving the West London club in this January's transfer window. Coleman explained that this wasn't the right time to allow Saha to join the Old Trafford club, and for a moment there it looked as if a man in charge of a relative minnow was going to be able to stand up to the big boys for once.

Saha's reaction to Coleman's stance probably took the Premiership's youngest manager a little by surprise. The man who has netted so regularly for Fulham this season was incandescent with rage at Coleman and Fulham's decision not to allow him to speak to United, who at the time were offering only 8 million pounds for the striker's services. Saha instantly alienated himself to most if not all of the Fulham fans by declaring that he was "disgusted" by the club's insistence on keeping him, announcing in the process that it was his "dream" to play for Manchester United.

That dream now looks set to come true later this week, but the reasons for the change in attitude from Coleman and the Fulham board are as yet unclear. The improved bid might have helped temper their disappointment at losing Saha. Added to this, it must have been increasingly obvious to Coleman that he had lost the support of the player, and was unlikely to get the maximum effort from him in the future. After Saha's comments at the beginning of the transfer saga it would only have taken one or two bad games for the fans to start screaming for his head, and so a move for what is a reasonably high fee seems now to suit all parties.

What is important now for Fulham is how they re-invest the Saha money. His departure has left something of a chasm in their strike force. If Coleman needs extra incentives to dip into the transfer market to replace Saha, then he need only think of the propsect of another farcical mask-wearing celebration from Facunda Sava to persuade him to splash the cash. Alongside Sava, Coleman only has the experienced but hardly blessed Barry Hayles, or the inconsistent Luis Boa Morte to turn to for some much needed goal-power. Fulham's bid for a European place has been coming off the rails a little in the midst of the unsettling Saha affair, and Coleman needs to get his side back on track quickly. If he fails to do so, anger at the sale of Saha will merely intensify, and the former Welsh international could have a mutiny on his hands.

The sale of Saha, while it has serious implications for Fulham Football Club, also has wider implications for football as a whole. In the row over Saha Coleman accused Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson of trying to bully him into parting with his star man, and will now probably feel even more strongly that he and his club have been unfairly manhandled by a larger Premiership predator. This is not a problem that is exclusive to Manchester United, although a number of their recent transfer deals are under scrutiny at present, but is more symptomatic of how the game has changed since the Murdoch money came rolling in. The clubs at the top usually get their man, despite the resistence of their smaller rivals when it comes to transfer deals. Only when a player himself doesn't fancy the prospect do you ever see either United, Arsenal or the now manically rich Chelsea lose out on an intended transfer target. Alan Shearer's loyalty to his home town club Newcastle is one of the last fading remnants of player loyalty in an ever-changing football world.

Scott Parker looks set to follow Saha out of the small pond and into the ocean, with Chelsea his likely destination. Charlton manager Alan Curbishley has already stated that 15 million pounds would not be enough to persuade him to let the midfielder leave the Valley. However, he has been a little more cautious than Coleman in never stating that there would be no possibility of Parker making a sharp exit. Though Coleman's act of defiance was done for all the right reasons it showed a naivety that is understandable from a young manager. It is admirable to want to hold on to a star player, but sometimes you have to know when you are facing an unstoppable tide.

Fulham fans will be hoping that the tide has not turned for their club irreversibly.

Stephen Orford
19/01/2004

545: A quick word ref?

by : Stephen Orford

Always one for leading the way in terms of innovative new ideas, the Premiership is again at the forefront of another development in the game. Until last Sunday fans could expect to leave the stadium seething about one decision or another without even the merest hint as to what on God's Earth could be going through the referee's mind. No more.

Setting the trend was ginger-topped west-country whistler Paul Durkin. Following the televised Premiership match between Manchester United and Newcastle United at Old Trafford last Sunday Durkin gave a short interview explaining one or two of his "interesting decisions" in the match. Firstly, he protested that he did not have a good enough view of the very visible contact between Manchester United goalkeeper Tim Howard and Newcastle striker Alan Shearer. He followed that up by explaining that he had managed to see a foul commited by Mikael Silvestre in the act of hooking the ball into the Newcastle net for what might have been the winning goal. Most of the watching public saw no foul, but since Durkin had explained himself the general consensus was that there could be no complaints. You didn't have to agree with him, but you had to respect his honesty so the theory went. The fact that he had gone from a state of almost complete blindness during the penalty incident to eagle-eyed powers of observation during the disallowed goal became a side issue.

Durkin's comments have started an epidemic of referees having their say. In yesterday's games both Jeff Winter and Mark Halsey offered us their thoughts on the contentious decisions in the matches involving Chelsea and Birmingham and Aston Villa and Arsenal respectively. Winter was probably right in saying that William Gallas' awkward stumble in the Birmingham box was not worthy of a penalty. The man most famous for his role as referee in the recent revival of the BBC's Superstars series thought that the incident was nothing more than "a coming together" of players. He subsequently explained that he gave a handball against Gallas who fell onto the ball, brushing it with his hand as he did so. I may or may not be the only person who distinctly remembers Winter signalling that a push had been committed by Gallas rather than a handball, but perhaps I am just nit-picking.

Halsey's decision to allow Thierry Henry to take a quick free-kick and thus score Arsenal's first goal in a 2-0 win over Aston Villa was perhaps a little more baffling. Halsey suggested that he had offered Henry the choice between taking a quick free-kick or having the Villa wall moved back ten yards. Excuse me? Come again? Since when has this sort of choice been on the footballers menu at a free-kick around the edge of the box? Halsey claimed that he is under no obligation to tell the Aston Villa players that a free-kick is about to be taken quickly, and that there is no need for a whistle to be blown. David O'Leary wasn't too impressed, calling the decision to allow Henry to proceed so swiftly "a joke". Sadly, he wasn't really laughing and it was hard not to have some sympathy for him. Taken to the nth degree, Halsey's approach to the game may result in there being no need for him to bring his whistle with him at all when next he referees a game. Why waste all that energy blowing the whistle when you can just ask the players what they want? You can almost hear the requests pouring in. "I'll have a penalty, thanks Mark." "Make mine a 2-0 lead away at Old Trafford". "Another ten minutes injury time, please? Cheers then, mate."

All of which throws widely open to question the actual benefits of having referees come out and give their explanations when the game is over. There is an argument which suggests that the words of wisdom from the referee offer a worthwhile insight into his decision making progress. It is argued that this helps players, managers and fans alike to understand where it all went wrong. However, until the seemingly far off introduction of video replays at football matches this does not change the fact that quite often referees do still get muddled up, and that their decisions are bound to leave some fans feeling a little bewildered. Do Villa fans really feel any better this Monday morning because of Halsey's explanation? Was Paul Durkin really being honest about the Silvestre "no-goal" or was he just levelling things up after his penalty howler earlier in the game? Does Jeff Winter care what we think or does he just like being on television?

Aside from whether we believe what we hear from the merry whistle blowers, there is another issue to be considered here. Should referees feel obliged to explain themselves in front of the cameras every time there is a debatable decision in a game? Players, especially those in the 80% mediocre Premiership, make mistakes on a regular basis. None of those players are ever asked to talk to Claire Tomlinson about why they hoofed the ball into their own net spectacularly from 20 yards, or why they failed to hit the net from two yards despite the absence of the goalkeeper. Managers too are spared the ordeal of having to explain why they took off their star striker for a defender despite being 4-0 down, or why they insist on instructing their players to wallop the ball up to the 'big lad' up front. However, referees it seems are more culpable for their errors than anybody else in the game. The philosophy now is that if we cannot have justice at the time of the incident, then we at least want to hear a feeble excuse as to why not. More and more, players and managers want to be made to feel as if their latest catastrophe is not their fault, even if they know it is.

541: African Nations Cup - club ver

by : Duncan Collingwood

In light of the recent club versus country rows regarding the African Nations Cup, I think it is time for FIFA to sit down, and sort this problem out. The most recent case involving Freddie Kanoute has left Tottenham Hotspur without their top goalscorer, at a time when they are battling to stay in the top division. Under new FIFA ruling Kanoute is now eligible to play for his fathers country of birth Mali, despite having represented the French U21 national team. This gave Kanoute an opportunity to play at senior level, as the French team had such a wealth of talent, Kanoute never thought he would never get a chance to represent them. The new ruling stated that playing U21 level would not disqualify you of representing a different country at senior level. This left him with a hard decision to make, but why should a player have to choose between playing for their country of their club?

In the African Nations Cup which starts in January this year 2004, there are a total of 160 players from European clubs travelling to the tournament in Tunisia. Sixty-four of those players play for French clubs, 23 for English, 21 in Belgium, 10 in Turkey and Italy, and a further 36 players spread across countries like Russia, Sweden, Greece, Portugal, Switzerland, Scotland, Norway, Bulgaria, Denmark, Romania, Poland and the Ukraine. There are 16 teams competing for the African Nations Cup this time, each squad is based on 22 players, so in total that’s 308 players in the competition. So that means 51% of them play for European clubs, it’s the equivalent to 14 starting eleven’s. Surely this number of players must have a negative impact in their domestic countries, maybe not the likes of Romania, but just look at France
or England.

Is this not a valid case? There is definitely something here for FIFA to think about. Firstly, why not have a winter break throughout Europe in January, this would allow players to freely go and represent their countries. Another option would be to have the tournament every four years rather than every two, the same as the European Championships. This would cause fewer problems, as it would be less frequent. There is also the case for moving the tournament to the summer, however, some of the countries would be too hot to play in during the day. You might say that the players are African so surely they would be used to the temperatures, but as previously mentioned 51% play in Europe. So week in week out, they play in completely different climates. Also a number of the African players in Europe moved to Europe when they were very young, and so have not really grown up in the countries of birth, and are not used to the conditions. Playing in the summer may also mean that some countries may not even get considered because they are considerably hotter than the rest, such as Tunisia for example, this years hosts. But why not evening games?

If these sort of player and club rows keep happening there may come a point when European clubs will decide that they will not buy African players because of it. What a waist of talent that would be, especially as a lot of these players are key figures for their European clubs. Look no further than Kanoute, Jay-Jay Okocha (Bolton), Bobo Balde (Celtic), Samuel Eto’o (Mallorca), Steven Pienaar (Ajax), Obafemi Martins (Inter), Julius Aghahowa (Shakhtar Donetsk) or Geremi Njitap (Chelsea). It’s up to FIFA now to sort this problem out, because it’s not going to go away. It’s simply not fair on the players or clubs.

Duncan Collingwood
17/01/04

542: Should Spurs twist or stick

by : James Loose

In recent weeks the media’s eyes have been focused on Tottenham, as the will they, won’t they relegation saga unfolds before David Pleat and his team. But an area of speculation that has been largely ignored in favor of the struggle to stay in the Premiership is who will be in the manager’s seat next season? If the press releases coming from White Hart Lane are to be believed (and who’s ever heard of those being wrong?) then the club has a man in their sights and seem fairly confident that he will come.

So who will it be? The early front runner was Celtic’s Martin O’Neil, with Celtic running away with the league and his contract up at the end of the season it was clear to all die hard supporters that he was on his way to London, he won’t be. It is clear that Scottish football can’t supply the kind of challenge that one of the countries top managers will undoubtedly crave, and it is logical that he will leave eventully. However, there is no real reason why he would leave a team who are progressing well in Europe, and are top of their domestic league for a club who may well be in the first division when he arrives, there’s a challenge and there’s professional suicide.

The next manager put up for consideration was Wales boss Mark Hughes, following his sides failure to qualify for Euro 2004 many pundits have said that he could be looking for a club job, and where better to start than a Premiership side? While Hughes could be the man to steer Spurs back to their glory days it is not very likely. Yet another of Britain’s excellent young managers, he has show his desire to take Wales to their first championship finals for more decades than the fans care to remember, and won’t leave unless he’s pushed. The final stumbling block is the club them selves, it is unlikely they will want to appoint someone who has no experience of domestic management, despite his obvious talent.

There has been some, limited talk of appointing a foreign man, while this has worked for teams like Chelsea and Arsenal, it is a tactic unlikely to appeal, remember Gross? If Spurs are going to bring in a manager with the club in its current state it seems that they will have to find one who is out of work and looking to make a return at any level. There is a huge list of people who fit the bill, but very few the club will actually consider hiring. Peter Reid has been in this situation twice before taking over a struggling side and trying to turn them around, and so would be the perfect man for the job, if he had succeeded. His outrageous sacking by Leeds aside, Reid’s last few years at Sunderland showed that he may not be a manager who can take a team to the top half of the league. Leaving the facts to one side, the fans would not provide him with a warm welcome, and with things as they are the last thing the club needs is to lose the faith of their supporters.

Sadly for all concerned popularity amongst the fans could also rule out Glen Roeder. Staying with the out of work theme the final manager for consideration is Terry Venables. Another man to be shown the door by Leeds for no firm reason he could prove to be the Spurs savior. But as with so many of the rumors this looks like another dead end, the decision-making men won’t want to bring in someone who has been out of the game (Leeds aside) for so long, and may be wary of his punditry interfering with his main duties.

Well that’s that then, after dismissing almost every eligible manager who will be the new boss? There is for me only one real choice, David Pleat. Not only is he popular with the fans, he has helped to turn the club around, and could be the only man who will willingly take the job even if they do go down. It would also make sense of the press release that Tottenham have a good chance of getting their man (and who’s ever heard of a press release being wrong?)

James Loose
17/01/2004

539: Dublin offered Champions Leagu

by : Dave Thrilling

Dave Thrilling marvels at how Dion Dublin has relaunched his Aston Villa career.

The recent mini revival of Aston Villa has been due in no small part to a veteran striker turned emergency defender. If speculation is to be believed, this summer Dion Dublin will have the choice to extend his current deal with the midlands outfit or finish his career with a crack at the Champions League with Glasgow Rangers.

Dublin who turns 35 in April started the season as Villa’s sixth choice striker but is now considered as a defensive rock that David O’Leary cannot afford to leave out. Not only does Dion compliment the group of potentially exciting youngsters breaking through the ranks at Villa Park, but he also adds a leadership quality that Villa so dearly lacked in the first part of the season.

It is truly amazing that a player abused by the home crowd every time he made a mistake just 12 months ago is now a cult hero with the Holte End faithful. However, it is even more remarkable that Dublin is still playing at the top level at all after a life threatening injury in 1999. A seemingly innocuous collision during a game against Sheffield Wednesday resulted in surgery on fractured neck vertebrae. On his return to first team action it was clear that such a traumatic experience had affected him both mentally and physically. Despite the winning penalty in the FA Cup semi final shoot out which took Villa to their first final in 43 years, his aerial power had almost disappeared and he was a far cry from the player who so nearly forced his way into Glen Hoddle’s 1998 World Cup squad.

Dublin became an instant hit at Villa after scoring seven times in his first three appearances. John Gregory admitted that he planned to play him in defence after a few years. Gregory is a figure of the past but Dublin is certainly part of O’Leary’s future plans. Indeed, O’Leary even suggested that Dublin was “a calming influence” on the hot-headed Alpay when asked to comment on the solid central defensive partnership they formed at Stamford Bridge earlier this season. After Alpay’s departure and a brief spell for full back Mark Delaney at centre half, Dublin has developed a formidable pairing with Olof Mellberg that has left the consistent Ronny Johnsen to settle for a substitute role in many of the last few matches. Dublin may lack pace but his reading of the game is exquisite. In addition, his presence and organisation skills have helped to propel Villa towards mid table safety. He has kept the likes of Beattie, Rooney and Viduka quiet in front of goal and even has the audacity to casually play the ball about at the back in tight areas. Dublin is certainly no Paul Mcgrath but he appears to be just as popular with a certain section of home supporters.

When Graham Taylor returned for his second spell as manager Dublin’s days at Villa Park looked numbered. A severe lack of form suggested that he was too old for the rigours of Premiership football. Peter Crouch and Marcus Allback were signed and Dublin was loaned to Millwall. Bizarrely this reignited Dublin’s career. He performed well at Millwall and returned to Villa Park a hero after scoring against Birmingham in the First Division play-off semi final. Millwall missed out on promotion, which meant they were unable to afford Dublin on a permanent basis. Despite starting the 2002-3 season down the pecking order Dublin rediscovered his form, forced his way back in the first team and ended the season as Villa’s top goalscorer. His only blemish was the infamous head butt on Robbie Savage which some may argue is the act of a hero.

The ex-Cambridge and Coventry City favourite has overcome setbacks before. He was released by Norwich without getting a first team game and a big money move to Manchester United didn’t work out after a broken leg forced him into several months on the sidelines. By the time he had recovered Mark Hughes and Eric Cantona had formed one of the most formidable striking partnerships in the country. Indeed, Sir Alex may best remember Dublin for possessing the largest manhood he had ever seen in the dressing room, at least according to Ferguson himself.

If Dublin continues to perform consistently until May, David O’Leary will have no hesitation in offering him a new deal. Perhaps, the lure of Champions League football may be too good to decline. For now though after a difficult few months for the “emergency” defender it must be music to his ears to hear the Villa fans chanting his name again. After all, he is used to music in his ears – his father was a member of 60s pop group Showaddywaddy!!

543: NATIONWIDE: Forest slump

by : David Hulott

It’s probably just coincidence, but having gone down just about every conceivable avenue to destroy Leeds United as a club, I’ve an uncomfortable feeling that those that have held power at Elland Road in recent years have decided to start looking at opportunities to replicate the story elsewhere in football.

Peter Ridsdale is already in the early stages of weaving his financial wizardry at Barnsley, Southampton boss Gordon Strachan was no sooner linked with the manager’s job at Leeds than he decided to resign over health concerns (quite possibly related) and Nottingham Forest hit a dismal run of form from the very moment that Paul Hart was installed as favourite to replace Peter Reid in the West Yorkshire managerial merry-go-round.

After reaching the play-off semi-finals last term, Forest started the current campaign among the pre-season favourites for promotion. Such seemingly well-placed optimism has long since disappeared though, with the club currently hovering just above the bottom three in the table after 12-league games without a win – their worst league position for 50 years. With their form in freefall, there are now genuine fears of relegation to contend with and it was reported that the meeting between Hart and chairman Nigel Doughty last week was to bring the manager’s two-and-a-half-year tenure to a close.

In the event, Hart is still in charge at the City Ground, although unless results pick up with immediate effect, his next little chat with Doughty is likely to end with a P45 winging its way to the Hart household. There is already talk that Glenn Hoddle, a friend of Doughty, could be lined up to take over the managerial duties – that’s sure to help team morale!

Luck certainly hasn’t been with Hart this season, with Doughty and the Forest board seemingly lacking any real ambition for the club when it comes to investing in players and in imposing a strict salary cap. In addition, last season’s prolific David Johnson has missed almost the entire season with a broken leg and key defender Michael Dawson has been sidelined for much of the campaign with glandular fever and a torn hamstring. In Johnson’s absence, the sale of strike partner Marlon Harewood to West Ham United in November for £500,000 did little to help. The depth and quality of Hart’s squad was also badly hit by the loss of Jim Brennan, Riccardo Scimeca and Jack Lester on Bosman deals over the summer, largely as a result of the strict salary cap imposed by the board.

In truth, the board have given Hart more funds than some of his peers, but Forest’s major acquisitions since the summer have yet to convince. Almost £1.5 million was spent on Gareth Taylor and Marlon King, but neither has yet to suggest that they are capable of weighing in with the goals provided by Johnson or Harewood. At the other end, the defence looks badly in need of reinforcements, with youngsters like Wes Morgan and Gregor Robertson plying their trade alongside 39-year old Des Walker.

The main plus point this season has been the form of Andy Reid, with a big-money move to the Premiership seemingly inevitable in the summer, if not in the current transfer window. It will be vital that a hefty percentage of any fee from the sale of Reid is given to the manager to bolster a wafer thin squad that is heavily reliant on young, inexperienced players.

It should be remembered how much Hart has done to balance the books and bring young talent through the ranks at the club, following on from the dismal reign of David Platt. Where Platt was given little short of an open chequebook (anyone remember Salvatore Matrecano, Gianluca Petrachi and Moreno Mannini?), Hart has largely been forced to rely on developing players through the youth academy, in the knowledge that they will be sold on as soon as any serious offers come in (Jermaine Jenas and David Prutton being the two that stand out).

With Johnson and Dawson both seemingly close to returning to the side, an upturn in results should be well within their capacity. It’s to be hoped that the board have enough foresight to ensure that Hart is still there to lead the recovery. There will be plenty of interested parties looking to give Hart a job should the axe fall at the City Ground.

David Hulott
17/01/2004

Thanks to Tom Lewers for his correction.

538: Transfer window: Emile Heskey

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks about Emile Heskey leaving Liverpool.

Emile Heskey is one of the most often criticised Liverpool strikers in living memory, but I am still surprised at speculation linking him with a move away from the Anfield club in this January's transfer window.

It has been suggested that the England man has been the subject of an approach from Middlesbrough, and the implication was that Liverpool might be prepared to listen to offers. The surprising aspect of all this, if it is true, is the timing of it. With Liverpool's squad currently decimated by injury particularly in the striking department, you would think that they would be keen to hold on to a player who they have always publicly defended in the face of persistent criticism from fans and media alike.

Michael Owen has been in and out of the Liverpool side since October with a series of nagging injuries, while Milan Baros has not played since breaking his ankle in a match with Blackburn Rovers early in the season. Selling Heskey now would leave an even bigger chasm in Liverpool's strike force as they pursue Champions' League qualification and remain in the running for honours in both the FA and UEFA Cups.

The irony of all of this speculation is that Heskey is now probably enjoying his best run of form in a Liverpool jersey for a long time. In the continued absence of Owen and Baros he has led the line admirably, if not exactly skillfully, in a team that has often looked bewildered and lost. Against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge last week Heskey was the proverbial tower of strength, expertly setting up the winning goal for Lord Lucan, er, sorry, Bruno Cheyrou. Now though, it seems that setting up winning goals for the new Zinedine Zidane (Houllier's words, not mine) is not enough for the former Leicester City striker. Nor is it enough for many Liverpool fans, who have often cited Heskey's modest goal-scoring record at Anfield as evidence of his failure.

Earlier in the week Heskey muttered something about maybe having to leave Anfield to secure regular first team football. Like Nicky Butt at Manchester United, Heskey is obviously fearing for his international prospects if he is left to kick his heels on the sidelines when Owen and Baros regain full fitness. It is questionable, however, whether a move to Middlesbrough would be the wisest move to assist Heskey's international credentials. Like Heskey, Middlesbrough are noted for not having hit the back of the net since the last time Northern Ireland scored a goal, and it is unlikely that he will be the grateful recipient of a plethora of goal-scoring chances at the Riverside. It seems that the best thing that Emile Heskey can do to guarantee himself a place in the England team is to send the boys round to Wayne Rooney's house.

Emile Heskey does look certain to leave Liverpool at some point in the near future, but it would probably be in the club's interests to wait until the summer to off-load the player. Djibriel Cisse looks set to arrive at Anfield from Auxerre at the end of the season and if Liverpool can persuade Michael Owen that they are worth a few more years of his career then Heskey's position does start to look unstable. Add a fit and hungry Milan Baros into the mix and a move looks inevitable for Heskey.

As an aside, Djimi Traore has also been making noises about a move away from Liverpool. So that's two down by the summer. Now, who else is on my list? Salif Diao, anyone?

536: Football and religion

by : Scott Stephens

Ring announcer: Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at 15 stones and standing at 5ft 10, wearing the blue of Birmingham, it’s the one and only Steve ‘The Bruiser’ Bruce.
The Birmingham crowd howl in appreciation as the former Norwich and Man Utd defender walks through the entrance as The White Stripes ‘Seven Nation Army’ fills the stadium.
Ring announcer: And introducing his opponent…
The home crowds cheers turn instantly to a crescendo of boos.
Ring announcer: Fighting out of the red corner, weighing in at a trim 12 stones and standing tall at 5ft 11, wearing the white Villa away strip it’s David ‘The Irish Assassin’ O’Leary.
Martin: I haven’t heard Birmingham this vocal since Wembley got the nod for the National Stadium!
Andy: I wouldn’t go there if I were you, especially considering where we are.
O’Leary steps out with a face like thunder as House Of Pain’s superb ‘Jump Around’ fills the air.
Martin: Big Dave doesn’t look happy.
Andy: You wouldn’t either if your chairman was Deadly Doug Ellis. He’s probably told O’Leary that he’s selling Angel for a new motor!
Martin: Whatever it is he’s certainly pumped up for this.
The referee calls both of them over to the middle and tells them the rules of the bout while the fans generate an almighty sound. Bruce and O’Leary shake hands and the bell rings.
Martin: And we’re off!
Straight away O’Leary is on the attack and is throwing a series of body shots at Bruce but Bruce covers up like a professional boxer, not feeling a thing.
Andy: Well we knew Bruce was defensive minded but this is something else.
Martin: The boy learned how to defend from Fergie but maybe Bruce is responsible for getting Fergie into boxing?
Andy: Don’t be stupid. As if you’re going to teach your boss, who already has a slight mental disposition and a habit of throwing things at players in the dressing room, how to box. That would be suicidal.
Back in the ring O’Leary is in a right sweat following his little punch session. Realising his punches are having no effect he opts for an alternative form of attack … he goes for the legs.
Martin: Eat your heart out Bruce Lee! That was an awesome leg sweep by the Irish Assassin.
Andy: It certainly was and just remember the age-old adage … it doesn’t matter how tall or big they are they’re all the same size when they’re on their back.
Martin: Except for Vanessa Feltz!
Andy: Yeah I was going to mention her.
Martin: And that thirty stones darts champion Andy Fordham.
Andy: Yeah ok, look, it’s only a saying, don’t take things so flaming literally.
Suddenly O’Leary grabs them both by the throat.
O’Leary: Listen you punks. You’re getting paid to commentate on me being crowned King of Birmingham, not about fat people.
Andy: Ok, ok, sorry Dave. It’s all his fault.
Martin: No it wasn’t, you started it.
O’Leary bangs their heads together.
O’Leary: Look I’ve got more important things to worry about than you two so just do what you’re told ok.
Martin: Yes boss.
Andy: Yes Dave.
O’Leary: That’s better.
Andy: DUCK!
Bruce appears behind O’Leary with a steel chair in his hands. O’Leary quick as a flash goes to ground but Martin is looking up to the sky for a duck.
WHACK!
Martin Tyler’s cranium is cracked with an ill-timed chair shot from Steve Bruce and the crowd takes a deep intake of breath.
Andy: Oh my God. Look what you’ve done to my partner…
Martin is slumped over the commentary table with blood gushing out of his head.
Bruce looks on aghast as he realises what he’s done. Suddenly O’Leary smacks Bruce square in the spuds bringing the Birmingham boss down to his knees quicker than Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office.
Andy: Serves you right you crazy fool. Here take this as well.
Andy throws a massive right hand at Bruce which sends him careering to the ground in a heap.
Paramedics rush down to ringside and quickly take Martin Tyler out of the arena.
Andy: Well what am I meant to do? I’m all on my own and this fight hasn’t really got started yet. Is there anyone in the back that can help me out? I hope Martin’s ok?
David O’Leary looks at Andy and stares to say ‘will you just shut up and get on with it?’
O’Leary jumps on the tearful Bruce and begins placing him in a figure four leg lock.
Andy: In all of the six previous brawls that I’ve had the pleasure to commentate on I think this is the first time that I have ever seen an actual wrestling hold!
Bruce is writhing in agony while O’Leary tries to sit up to get more leverage.
Suddenly a figure is seen running down to ringside.
Andy: Finally some help for me out here.
The crowd cheer like the Blues have just scored a goal and it becomes clear when the person gets into view.
Andy: Yes! Jasper Carrott’s here! Where’s Nigel Kennedy, give me Kennedy!
Jasper throws himself into the ring and jumps on the Villa boss. O’Leary breaks the hold and tries to cover up from Carrott’s assault but to no avail.
Andy: This is appalling… Five minutes I’ve been waiting for a new co-commentator and there’s still no sign of it. Still I’m on for my bet!
Andy looks up the ramp and sees another figure running down.
Andy: Ah this looks promising.
The St Andrews crowd start booing as the mystery figure is revealed as none other than Villa’s biggest celebrity fan, violinist Nigel Kennedy with his trustee violin under his arm.
Andy: Yes, yes, yes! C’mon my boy!
Kennedy crawls into the ring and smashes his violin over Carrott’s head. The crowd gasp.
Andy: That’s gotta hurt!
Carrott staggers to the ground and collapses in a heap on the canvas when out of nowhere Bruce spears the Violinist to the ground to rapturous applause from the home fans.
Andy: That was like a train crash!
Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth and Bruce gets to his feet when suddenly another figure is seen running down to ringside.
Andy: Please be Mr Risdale, £15,000 grand would be lovely … Oh what’s he doing here?
The Birmingham fans howl in anger as Deadly Doug Ellis makes his way to the squared circle. Bruce clenches his fist and goes to swing for him but Ellis holds his hands up and points towards O’Leary in the corner. Deadly Doug strolls towards his manager, looks down at him, and wallops him on the side of the head.
Andy: What the…
The home fans go mad, not believing what they’ve witnessed. Deadly Doug continues his onslaught on his manager when another two rather large figures come dashing to ringside.
Andy: This really is starting to turn into the Generation Game!
Peter Risdale emerges and runs down to ringside to help the Villa chairman attack O’Leary while Bruce looks on startled.
Andy: Yes, yes, yes! Now all we need is that little minx Brady to show her face.
Almost as soon as Risdale hits the ring another two figures race towards the ring. The lights shine on to the two figures to reveal former Villa bosses Ron Atkinson and Graham Taylor looking extremely annoyed.
Andy: It looks like tonight is the perfect night for these former Villa bosses to get their own back on the chairman from hell.
Ron and Graham run straight for Deadly Doug, taking him right off his feet.
Andy: Unbelievable! … I’ve finally got a new co-commentator and it’s none other than Scarface himself, Alan Hansen.
Alan Hansen puts on his headset.
Alan: We’ll have less of that you Toffee scum. You’ve coped well on your own. Obviously you’re not ready for the big step-up to presenting on your own but you did well.
Andy: Cheers.
Back in the ring, Big Ron and Graham Taylor have splattered Deadly Doug’s nose over his face and Peter Risdale has ran out of the ring scared for his life. Ron and Taylor start tying rope to Doug’s hands and feet.
Andy: What on earth are they doing to the poor guy?
Alan: It’s just as well I’m here because it’s quite obvious what’s going on.
Andy: What?
Alan: They’re going to stretch him until he’s torn in two.
Andy: Oh yeah… obviously!
Big Ron makes sure that his end is firmly secured before attaching it to a huge shire horse, and Graham Taylor does like wise. Suddenly a huge bang is heard and both horses bolt for it.
Andy: Oh no… that’s gruesome!
Alan: Aye it is quite bad, you’d never get this on Match of the Day!
Doug Ellis has been torn in two and his organs are splattered around ringside along with his stale blood.
Graham Taylor: I do like that!
Taylor and Big Ron leave the ring with their arms held aloft victoriously as Bruce and O’Leary lock horns again. O’Leary swings Bruce into the ring before connecting with a glorious drop kick.
Andy: That was perfectly executed.
Alan: It was good but it wasn’t perfect. Surely Bruce knew what was coming.
O’Leary picks up Bruce and throws him into the ropes again.
Andy: Another drop kick…
Alan: No he’s gonna hit him with a powerbomb.
O’Leary lifts Bruce up and slams him to the ground with an amazing amount of force.
Alan: Told you.
Andy: How did you know it wasn’t going to be another drop kick?
Alan: Think about it. Vary your attack and you’ve got a better chance of surprise.
With O’Leary having the upper hand it looks like Bruce is there for the taking when suddenly a voluptuous brunette is seen strutting it down to ringside.
Andy: Oh yes, yes, yes. Please tell me this is who I think it is…
Alan: Why don’t you try Karen Brady!
Andy: I’d love to but I don’t think her husband Peschisolido would be too pleased!
Sure enough it is the Birmingham Managing Director making her way to the ring.
Alan: Oh isn’t she just looking fantastic tonight? I have never seen her look better to be honest.
Andy: Whatever you say Al. I’m planning on how to spend my money.
Karen steps up on the ramp and distracts O’Leary by lifting up her skirt revealing the flesh of her inner thigh.
Alan: Oh my! What a lucky boy David is.
David moves towards her and places his arms around her waist.
Andy: Oh no. Are we going to see a cross-city relationship here?
Alan: I hope not, come here darling! Come and get a bit of Scotch in ya!
Andy: The Zulus are getting restless. This doesn’t look good at all.
O’Leary then plants his thin lips on to Brady and starts gliding his fingers through her hair when suddenly he pulls her hair off to reveal the glowing golden locks of Birmingham’s antagonistic midfielder Robbie Savage!
Andy bursts out laughing while Alan looks on mortified, but not as half as bad as O’Leary.
Andy: O’Leary looks like he has just died and gone to hell.
Alan: Well he’s half way there.
Out of nowhere Bruce lamps O’Leary with an iron bar and the big Irishman stands there stunned.
Andy: Oh no, the Zulus are making there move. I can’t look.
The Zulus start charging towards the ring, life up their spears, and throw them at O’Leary.
Alan: I knew these Brummies were hard up but surely they could have afforded a few quid to go and buy themselves Kerplunk instead of using O’Leary.
Every single spear pierces the Villa boss’s body and the former Leeds manager is stuck to the spot.
Andy: This is horrible.
Bruce and Savage begin pulling the spears out of O’Leary waiting for his head to fall to the ground in true Kerplunk style.
Andy: I can’t believe I have just witnessed this. By the way, what on earth are you doing here tonight?
Alan: I was here to break the bad news to you.
Andy: What bad news? It’s not Martin is it?
Alan: No, you know how last time you mentioned the EU questioning you for having a monopoly on Premiership Managers Brawl and that some matches might be leased to other broadcasters?
Andy: Yes…
Alan: Well we’ve won the rights to the next brawl between two fiery Scots Graeme Sounes of Blackburn and David Moyes of Everton.
Andy: But what am I going to do with myself?
Alan: Go and have a wee break, recharge your batteries.
Andy: I suppose I could go on holiday with my winnings.
Alan: What winnings?
Andy: The winnings from my … Savage? It was Savage not Brady. That longhaired girl? I’m going to kill him!
Andy throws off his headset and chases Robbie Savage out of the stadium.
Alan: Well that’s the last you’ll see of him for a couple of weeks. By the way news has just reached us that Martin Tyler is also stable in hospital. Take it easy pal. But next time on Premiership Managers Brawl it will be an awesome contest with a Scottish touch as Graeme Souness and David Moyes hook up live on squarefootball.net tv with Gary Lineker, John Motson, Trevor Brooking and myself in attendance. Until then fight fans, peace.
Scott Stephens investigates football and religion.

Having grown up and lived in a very multicultural area of London, I have been exposed to many forms of religion. Personally, I am not religious and would like to avoid the clich of saying that 'football is my religion'. I'll leave the notion of what qualifies something to be a religion, to those better placed to do so. If it is faith and worship, then I'm sure that most reading this article, find that through football. I have a Church; only mine doesn't have a roof, the 'pews' are plastic and it has a 110 by 71 yards piece of turf in the middle!

However, I'm not trying to divide the two phenomenon's but rather see the amazing ways in which the two crossover; agree and disagree. One particular image that will stick in my mind for a long time was walking home from a party late one Friday night and cutting across my local common. Having not have drunk that night, I knew my eyes were not deceiving me as I made out two 11 a-side teams of Orthodox Jews, in full religious dress, chasing a football around in complete darkness! I couldn't help but to enquire as to what was going on! One of the goalkeeper's informed me that an important religious festival had just ended and they wanted to celebrate it with a 'kick-about'. Unbelievable! Anyone for a game on Christmas morning?

I also remember being at school and college, where some Muslim friends would 'skip' Friday prayers to come and play football at lunchtime and can also recall a boy who got withdrawn from my Sunday League Team by his mum for missing Church too often!

Religion is however, a major part of football for many of the world's top players. We are very accustomed to players, especially from Spain and South America, 'crossing' themselves as they run out on to the pitch. But for what are they crossing you have to ask? Is it a plea to keep evil spirits at bay or a plea to score a hat-trick. For many players, it is a matter of course, but with all due respect, the same players wouldn't 'cross' themselves as they entered a shop or a restaurant would they? I think it's the hat-trick they're after!

In many countries, religion is crucial to a team's pre match routine, especially at National level. It is common for South American teams to bring a priest into the dressing room, prior to kick off who will read sections of the bible as all the players hold hands, often shedding tears in an amazing display of emotion and team solidarity.

Before each game of their very successful world cup campaign in 2002, members of the Senegalese team would read sections from the Muslim holy book ' the Qu'ran, in an attempt to get each other fired up for the game in hand. The teams shock victory in their first game against France was marked by amazing scenes in the country's capital, Dakar, where only a handful of worshippers attended a Friday prayer at the city's Grand Mosque; all clearly watching the game, a fact welcomed and encouraged by the mosque's Imam. What 's more, the teams French coach, Bruno Metsu, actually converted to the religion as his team progressed to the knockout stages.

French World Cup winner Emmanuel Petit, turned to Zen Buddhism to help him through his footballing career. At the tender age of 17, his older brother Olivier died on the pitch whilst playing for the French side, Dieppe. Olivier had a fatal brain haemorrhage after heading a ball. Petit went on of course to score a goal in the world cup final and believed that his brother had a big role to play in the goal and duly dedicated the goal to him.

Perhaps the most amazing crossover between religion and football began a couple of years ago, when a group of local residents in Rosario, Argentina founded the first 'Maradonian church' or the 'Hand of God Church'. With an original congregation of about 50, the Religion now boasts upwards of 20,000 members who live in the year 43 AD (after Diego) and whose most holy of days is celebrated on the 30th of October, Diego Maradonna's birthday. Members of the congregation are very offended when people suggest that the religion is purely humorous as they feel as if Maradonna has created such exposure for their country and for the whole of South America. Alejandro Veron, the religion's founder has said that 'just because it's a new religion doesn't mean it should be laughed at. It may have not have such legendary tales as other religions but it is after all a sporting religion.'

As I said in my introduction, I wanted not to separate religion and football but rather see how the two crossover and work together. Clearly here, with the notion of a 'sporting religion', they are one and the same thing.

540: TRANSFER WINDOW: Scott Parker

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks that the biggest south London transfer target is at Charlton and not Fulham.

Forget about the furore surrounding the future of Louis Saha, the most important transfer deal of the current window could involve Charlton Athletic midfielder Scott Parker.

Parker is said to be the subject of a big money bid from those crazy rich kids at Chelsea. It has been a while since Roman Abramovich has been able to wave his fat wallet around, and it is no surprise that he is eager to add Parker to his collection of stars. However, I would question the wisdom of moving from a club where first team football is all but guaranteed, to becoming just another pawn on Claudio Ranieri's mad-cap chess board of 'champions'.

I understand Parker's interest in a transfer of this magnitude. As well as Charlton have done this season, it is still fair to suggest that the young England man will not be able to fulfill all of his footballing ambitions at the club. If he has designs on regular Champions' League football and a slot in the England side then you would think that a move away from the Valley would seem to be his only option. Charlton fans will rightly feel that this is unfair. Another case of the fat, brainless bullies pushing the little blokes around the playground until they have stolen all of their lunch money. Unfortunately, it is now becoming more and more the way of the football world.

Cynics may question my motivation for this one, but I suggest that Parker should wait until the summer to move from Charlton, and that when he does go he should find himself a club at which he will be a major influence. A club like Liverpool, perhaps? The reds midfield is crying out for a slice of the midfield creativity that Parker offers. One of the most improved players in England over the last few years, Parker could be the missing ingredient that allows Liverpool to finally mount that long-awaited title challenge. If Parker's signature could be secured the Anfield club would then only need to add Robbie Keane, Captain America, David Blaine and Jesus Christ to their squad to become a realistic Premiership contender.

Whether Liverpool have the money or the foresight to sign Parker is hugely open to question. If not Anfield, perhaps the boy who famously showed off his ball juggling skills in a McDonald's advert during the 1994 World Cup could attract the interest of Manchester United. The all-conquering, self-proclaimed biggest club in the world are currently employing one Philip Neville in a midfield role. Though Neville has filled that role adequately enough, Sir Alex Ferguson is surely a man who strives constantly for improvement. Neville may be good enough in the eyes of Sir Alex to see off Nicky Butt, but whether he could hold off a young, talented midfield prospect like Parker for too long is questionable. Don't rule out a late attempt from Old Trafford to snatch Charlton's prize asset from under the noses of Chelsea.

All of this speculation has clearly ruffled Parker's feathers a little. The indications are that he is interested in a move to Chelsea who, at this point, are still the only club to go public with their interest in the player. Parker's head has obviously been turned. So much so that Charlton manager Alan Curbishley has ruled the player out of this weekend's trip to Everton after deciding yesterday that he was 'not in the right frame of mind' to attend training.

The latest rumours have Joe Cole heading to the Valley in an audacious swap-deal. Cole has only been at Stamford Bridge for a matter of months, but has struggled to make the impact that he had perhaps hoped for when he joined from West Ham United. If nothing else, this should serve as a warning to Parker about the possible pitfalls of joining the Russian revolution. However, with Alan Curbishley already stating that 15 million pounds wouldn't be enough to persuade him to part with his man, Chelsea may yet find themselves in the enviable position of being the only club with enough money to sign him.

528: Harry Flatcap and the cult of

by : Steve Heald

Hello! It’s good to be back in Blighty…I think…Harold Flatcap here back in the UK and catching up on the lost days of my life.

I don’t know how long I was under the clutches of the evil cult, worshipping
at the altar of Uncle Sepp every day. Time had no meaning in our collective. All we lived for were our daily preaching from Sepp before entering the world in our regulation tight grey suit spreading the gospel of the cult known as FIFA. Preaching to the unconverted about larger goal posts, 4 quarters in a match, leagues with 16 teams. Showing the way forward to the non-believers. They laughed, they refused to listen, but Sepp told us not to worry. Come judgement day we would have secured enough votes from African banana republics to ensure we could fight on into another day.

At times my past attempted to catch up with me. A stranger would approach me and shout

“Flatcap! Remember that bloody tackle you did on me in 1962? Left me with severe whiplash, one knee permanently facing the wrong direction and a speech im-im-im-I-I-I-I-impediment…”

or

“Bloody hell Flatcap, after the mess you made managing our club I thought you were barred from ever setting foot in this town again”.

But I now realised I was brainwashed. All those automatons you see on TV whenever FIFA are handling a major game or a world cup draw. They all surrendered their soul to the cult of FIFA. I know that now. Thanks to the regular therapy I receive from Dr Ludovic Frankshurer in his practice above the Dog and Partridge public House on Walthamstow high street (next door to the mucky book shop and the tatooist) I now can see how I’ve been living my life as a sham for the last few months. I’m lucky to escape with my life, not many do.

I’m very groggy and still attempting to piece my mind back together. Dr Frankshurer says it will take a long time. Catching up on news events is confusing. Back in the cult I remember catching the odd news item about England being world cup winners. Whenever such a story would appear on the television or on the radio Uncle Sepp would switch off the electrical item providing the information forthwith. Is it really 2006? Did Svenn lead us to the promised land? Why is Sepp so keen to shield us from this info? It’s as if he was jealous of England winning the cup. I remember seeing a tickertape parade on TV for the England team but didn’t recognise any of the players. It is so confusing.

Dr Frankshurer told me to seek refuge in the sanctuary of old friends. I looked back on my football career and thought about who to look up. I concluded the best place to start was with my good buddy Saddam Hussain.
Regular readers of my bulletin will recall that I once had a spell as manager of the Iraqi national football side, but Saddam informed me that regrettably he had to sack me as I was simply too brutal on the players for his liking. However we remained on friendly terms so I felt surprised when I called his number at his Palace and heard a young US marine-style voice pick up the phone and bellow

“Hello. This is Private 26548 DC McLoughlin answering the phone sir!”.

When I asked if Saddam was in I was met with a barrage of expletives and warned to ‘stop taking the goddam p**s’. So I’m a little confused there, as generally Saddam didn’t care much for Americans.

Dr Frankshurer told me that I need to perhaps get back into the previous line of work I was in before becoming a member of the cult. Thanks to his revolutionary hypnotherapy techniques he was able to ascertain I was an extremely successful football manager at Manchester City. So as City seem to be sliding down the table I decided to go knock on the Chairman’s door and make him aware that when the time was right for Kevin Keegan to walk out I was ready to re-fill the breech.

I entered City’s impressive new stadium and walked down the imposing corridors to a door marked ‘Chairman’ and nervously tapped on the door. Upon the shout ‘enter!’ I walked in and noticed the chairman sat on a leather swivel chair, his back to me. He instantly swivelled round and I was alarmed to see the chairman of Manchester City was Roger De Courcey. Or it could have been Nookie Bear, who was perched upon Roger’s knee, mad eyes swivelling in all directions. Roger noticed my surprise.

“Where have you been Harry? Have you forgotten about City’s virtual reality TV show, where a celebrity guest is named chairman of City for a month, to see how they cope with the mental anguish and the punishing demands made on the body in the face of intolerable stress levels?”

“He’s a pillock!”

chipped in Nookie.

“Well,”

I countered,

“I was wondering if I could have my old job back? Surely Keegan will be out soon?”

“Told you he’s a pillock!”

Once again Nookie responded.

“Now, Nookie, Harry is a guest, and he’s not been very well. Don’t you understand Harry? Kevin’s doing the job expected of all City managers. Drama! Excitement! Nail biting tension! As soon as we realised we couldn’t keep up with the big 3 we instructed Kevin to create some interest. We don’t have mid-table mediocrity here – The fans wouldn’t stand for it. They much prefer a good old fashioned relegation battle with plenty of booing and a good old fashioned demonstration after the game.”

“Why are you bothering? This man is a pillock!”

Nookies eyes spun crazily.

So I’m back, ready and able to run a football club! Chairmen, if you are reading this – I’m your man!

See you again soon

Harold Flatcap esq

Harry Flatcap was pouring his heart out to Steve Heald.

535: Premiership managers brawl: Da

by : Colin Illingworth

Martin Tyler: Welcome to Premiership Managers Brawl, live from St Andrews in Birmingham, and this competition is getting hotter than a blazing inferno. Last week Sir Alex Ferguson destroyed his bitter archrival Gerard Houllier in a pulsating encounter that had everything but tonight’s brawl is set to top even that as the pride of Birmingham is up for grabs when Birmingham’s Steve Bruce gets to grip with his Villa counterpart David O’Leary. With me as always is the legendary Andy Gray who of course used to ply his trade for Villa.
Andy Gray: Hello fight fans. Well it’s true what they say, if you want to see a good fight then get down to Birmingham. There’s no secret that these two parties despise each other, so what better way to see who’s the City’s top dog than for Bruce and O’Leary to step into the squared circle for a blood filled fight to the death!
Martin: They could always have some sort of…
Andy: No Martin, believe me, there’s no better way of settling your differences than this.
Martin: But…
Andy: No butts, this is the way it’s going to be. Bruce V O’Leary, in that very ring … tonight!
The partisan St Andrews faithful go absolutely ballistic as the anticipation grows to fever pitch.
Martin: This brawl has been the talk of the Country’s second biggest City and we sent our intrepid reporter Chris Kamara out on to the streets of Birmingham to gauge the public’s opinion on tonight’s massive clash.
Chris: Here I am in the heart of Birmingham and as you can see the streets are awash with blue and white shirts. Lets see what they think tonight’s outcome will be?
Kamara picks on some poor unsuspecting fool.
Chris: Hello mate, Chris Kamara here reporting for the Premiership Managers Brawl on squarefootball.net tv, I was wondering who you think will reign supreme tonight between Steve Bruce and David O’Leary?
Birmingham fan 1: (Broad Brummie accent) Well I think Bruce is going to win because he has everything in his arsenal. The experience of serving under fiery Ferguson and his defensive abilities are there for everybody to see. He’ll deflect everything that O’Leary throws at him, hitting on the counter attack, and eventually killing the Villa scum.
Chris: And what about you mate?
Birmingham fan 2: (Another broad Brummie accent) I agree with him. If O’Leary wins it will be a dark day in the history of this City. Come on Steve, do it for Birmingham!
Chris then reports from another area flooded with claret and blue shirts.
Chris: What do you think the outcome will be tonight?
Villa fan 1: (Broad Birmingham accent) O’Leary’s going to win, obviously. He’s got the attacking skills that the other half of this City could only dream of. He’s a shrewd manager and I’m sure he has a master plan to make sure that Bruce leaves the building in a body bag.
Villa fan 2: (Broad Birmingham accent) The filthy Blues may have home advantage but O’Leary’s at his best when his back is against the wall. O’Leary and Villa to the end!
Chris: Well there’s a sample of views from the fans in and around St Andrews. Back to you at ringside.
Martin: When this brawl was first announced I really feared for O’Leary. Villa were near the bottom of the table and the fans were on his back but recently they’ve picked up considerably and now find themselves in the top half of the table. Meanwhile, across the City, the tide has somewhat turned as Birmingham have fallen down the league somewhat.
Andy: I think on recent form O’Leary and Villa would be booking their place into the quarterfinals but this is a one off fight and it’s all about what happens tonight.
Martin: Well the big fight’s just moments away so let’s get the latest betting odds.
Andy: As you can imagine the bookies have taken a shed load of cash on this bout and not surprisingly the bookies can’t separate them, both managers at Evens. However if you’ve got more money than sense, and want a daft little flutter, then this is the place to be. If you’ve a feeling that the clubs biggest fans Jasper Carrott and Nigel Kennedy will get involved you’ll get odds of 1/16. At 1/25 you’ll get odds of Karen Brady running down to ringside but if you think tonight is the perfect opportunity for former Leeds Chairman Peter Ridsdale to get revenge on his former manager you’ll get odds of 1/33.
Martin: All of those bets seem quite plausible.
Andy: I know I’ve gone for all of them in a treble so if they do all come true I’ll pocket £15,000.
Martin: I hope you’ll split it with me?
Andy: Anymore talk like that and you’ll be walking out of here with three shoes.
Martin: Three shoes?
Andy: Yeah, two on your feet and one up your…
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has come to introduce tonight’s competitors.
The noise levels inside St Andrews becomes deafening.

534: The agitator #1

by : Antony Melvin

The secret diary of the man who gets things done.

MONDAY

Arsenal are still keen on Angel at Villa. Decided to stop that particular one with a ridiculous £20m price tag (Mirror), after reaching a deal that will see Angel become the new face for Pukka pies in the west Midlands area. And I can also reveal that the rumour surrounding John Hartsons return to the capital with Fulham (Mail) is not unconnected with another food deal. The Fulham firefighters fun Friday fry-up (the 5F) needed relaunching and I think John has the gravitas - but he needs a London base for this kind of deal.

After Michael Owen made a complete Forlan from 3 yards I quickly put out a press release (back-dating it to before the kick-off - that'll put them off the scent) saying that Michael was thinking of re-signing (Star). Well we'd done the 'questioning the ambition of the club' bit and flogged out the 'niggling injury' routine so we really needed to remind everyone that Michael still existed! But after a re-think we are torn between ‘I never said I wanted to leave’ or 'leaving contract negotiations until after the season' as a way forward.

TUESDAY
Nicky Butt wants to leave Old Trafford (BBC), which comes as no surprise to anyone. I mean being an understudy to a Neville is bound to wind you up (ask Danny Mills). But as to suitors I think that Tottenham are the best option, no competition for a place, high profile, low expectations. Pele's quote from the World Cup of 'I like butt' was widely misinterpreted, but should ease Nicky's move to north London.

Discussed the situation with Henrik Larsson and flew a kite about him going to Barcelona (Sun). This is agitator short-hand for 'he wants to play somewhere warm and spend some time on the beach'. So Newcastle does not qualify. Had a chat with Roman and I can confirm that there will be movement soon - ex-lax is an important addition to every billionaires medicine cabinet. As for him wanting to sign a cheque/Czech/Cech (Express) - whatever.

WEDNESDAY
Contract negotiations for big Emile at Liverpool were going slowly so we thought we’d give it a bit of a push and make the obvious link to ‘0 shots on target’ Middlesbrough (Mail) and a less obvious link to AC Milan (Times). Somewhat disconcertingly Liverpool seem interested. If we can stall the Saha transfer long enough we can double-bluff Liverpool by suggesting a Man Utd interest. On the basis that if they want him …

Chelsea were a bit concerned that their third place was under threat so a second day of undermining fourth placed Charlton’s best player Scott Parker was in order. But offering Joe Cole in exchange (Sun) doesn’t seem to be working. Perhaps we’d better look at stronger rumours of a move for the manager to truly unsettle them.

THURSDAY
Operation upset Man Utd has resumed today, after our suggestions that they were about to lose all their transfer targets in one black Thursday! So Chelsea are now favourites to land Saha for £18m (Mirror/Star/Telegraph), Arsenal will land Defoe for £5m (Sun) and Chelsea will also bag Arjen Robben (Express) and Christian Vieri for £14m or £25m (Sun/Times/BBC). Largely quote-free stuff – for obvious reasons.

Yesterday’s links for big Emile didn’t exactly further his contract negotiation as Liverpool seemed a little over-eager to let him speak to Middlesbrough. So Emile has had to quickly restate his loyalty to the cause. Liverpool have waded in and knocked 5k a week off his new deal – some people will use any situation to their advantage. The morality of modern football is a crying shame. Discussed linking him with Everton as a final desperate fling. Or Barcelona. Or Tottenham. Or Celtic. Brainstorming session scheduled.

FRIDAY
Moved quickly to link Middlesbrough to another striker in this case Viduka for £6m (Sun) to try to ease the Heskey situation. Given that Man Utd are standing by this is not a viable option for too long. So with a little lateral thinking we quickly linked Alan Smith to Newcastle United for an affordable £2m (Sun), and wait for Middlesbrough to move for him. Once Liverpool accept that there is nowhere for Heskey to go we can make some progress on a new contract.

We have long wondered why Manchester United are so despised when they do such good charity work. Paying over the odds to keep some badly run clubs going, like the £30m the paid for Forgetful Ferdinand. Whilst offering England internationals in deals that pay for themselves. Madrid must have recouped the Beckham cost in shirt sales already, and if Newcastle are allowed to strengthen their midfield by getting Nicky Butt for £5m (Express) then surely Fergie has gone mad. And besides we’ve already agreed with TAG that he’s going to Spurs (BBC).

Weekend
Chamonix, ski-ing.

Antony Melvin was routing through the bins of the rich and powerful.

533: Sam Allardyce - and my part is

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford thinks that Sam Allardyce has a nerve.

Those who read my rantings regularly will know that I am not the biggest fan of Bolton Wanderers manager Sam Allardyce. It was probably unfair to single him out in an article I wrote some months ago about bringing in foreign players on loan as a cheap option. However, it seems that this week 'Big Sam' has spent most of his time trying to get up my nose.

Firstly, he publicly criticised the appointment of Trevor Brooking in what was thought to be the role of FA Technical Director. Allardyce was outraged by the appointment, claiming that Brooking was not qualified to take on the job. Citing the fact that he and his fellow managers have to obtain qualifications before they take over at a club, he argued that Brooking also should be obliged to get himself qualified.

In 99% of all other industries I would whole-heartedly agree with Allardyce's position, but I think that the football industry is a different animal. Passing an FA coaching course does not necessarily make somebody a good football manager or coach, nor does failing to obtain such qualifications necessarily make somebody incapable. The previous incumbent of the position of FA Technical Director was Howard Wilkinson. Wilkinson was fully qualified for the job, having passed all of the required exams and followed all of the required courses. Still, most fans within the game were uncomfortable with his role having seen the way some of his teams had played the game previously. When he re-emerged in club management at Sunderland Wilkinson was unsuccessful. You can draw your own conclusions from this, but I would suggest that it is philosophy rather than certificates that is the most important factor in overseeing the development of footballers.

Brooking is a man with years of playing experience, achieving standards that an old school hacker like Mr Allardyce could only dream of. This in itself should be worth something, and should prove that Brooking does indeed have something to offer the game on the technical side of things. In addition to this he has a lot of administrative experience having served on the board of Sport England for many years also. He may or may not be the right man to ensure England produces the star players it needs in the future, but to dismiss him because he doesn't have a piece of paper that says he knows how many men to put in his own penalty area at a corner is pure folly. Brooking answered the criticism by suggesting that he would not be in sole charge of the technical development of English players, and that he would be assisted in that area by another fully qualified FA man, Les Reed. Whether this diffuses the situation remains to be seen, but it is whether or not England produces more Danny Mills than David Beckham's in the future that should be of most concern.

Not content with trying to rock Brooking's boat, Allardyce then surpassed himself with his utter disregard and disdain for the FA Cup on Tuesday evening. With a cushy looking tie at Luton in round four awaiting them, his Bolton Wanderers hosted second division Tranmere Rovers in a third round replay. Scandalously, Allardyce made ten changes to the team that had beaten Blackburn Rovers so thrillingly in the Premiership only days before. Whether or not Allardyce took Rovers too lightly only he will know, but his makeshift side spent much of the game trailing 1-0 before seemingly rescuing themselves with a late equaliser. However, it was a brief reprieve as Tranmere scored again in extra time to secure the win.

The following day Allardyce suggested that it was a good thing that Bolton Wanderers were out of the FA Cup. The idea that a team steeped in FA Cup tradition should enjoy being unceremoniously dumped out of the greatest knockout football tournament in the world by a team two leagues below them is frankly unpalatable. Yes, we live in an era when Premiership survival is vital to club's like Bolton if they are to keep themselves on a safe financial footing, but the FA Cup, aside from all of its traditions and the sheer magic of it all, represents another opportunity for the loyal Wanderers fans to see their team pick up some silverware. Perhaps Allardyce would have been more disappointed with the result had his team not already reached the semi finals of the League Cup, but it is still galling to see the FA Cup treated as nothing more than an irritating distraction by a top-flight team.

Still, I bet the Tranmere Rovers and Luton Town fans were pleased. Rant over.

532: Transfer window: David James

by : Chris Owens

Chris Owens has his doubts about the wisdom of Manchester City signing David James.

It's a pity Neil Ruddock has agreed to take part in a jaunt to the jungle for the next series of 'I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here!', as rumour has it that he was next on the Kevin Keegan hit-list. Seeing as David James is set to join Steve McManaman and Robbie Fowler at the Blue Camp, it surely can't be long before the rest of Roy Evans' Liverpool 'Spice Boys' of the mid'90s turn up at Manchester City with their infamous cream suits!

Seriously though, at face value the replacement of the retired former England international goalkeeper David Seaman with the current England international goalkeeper, the aforementioned David James, seems good business for everyone. City get an experienced solution to their keeping crisis, whilst both James and Sven Goran Eriksson must be delighted with the England No.1 moving back to the Premiership before Euro 2004. Even West Ham could reinvest the money wisely into their pursuit of a swift return to the top flight. But as with most things Kevin Keegan does, it is a gamble, and a gamble that could spectacularly backfire.

At the moment City are in danger of entering a crisis. Early season talk of possible Champions League qualification seems a world away from a possible relegation dogfight. Pre-season signings of 'old heads' such as Seaman, Bosvelt, Sinclair, Reyna and McManaman were meant to improve on last season's promising top-flight renaissance. But lately the talk has been of dressing room splits and players not pulling their weight. James may be the kind of strong character needed to improve the dressing room atmosphere, but evidence from his time at Liverpool, West Ham and England shows this may not be the case.

According to people within football, David James has all the attributes needed to become a top class keeper. He strikes an intimidating figure, he's got excellent agility and athleticism. But despite his long career and numerous clubs, he continues to have an erratic style. Whether it's misjudging a cross into the penalty area or mis-kicking backpasses, he is still prone to lapses in concentration as his performances at West Ham continue to demonstrate.

With City's defensive problems persisting, is James really the secure, composed and calming influence that is necessary? Whilst he had a growing army of critics towards the latter period of his career, if David Seaman had one quality it would be his temperament. But even the unflappable veteran couldn't help eradicate kamikaze defending from Sommeil, Sun Ji Hai and company. On the evidence of a West Ham defence with a similarly suicidal disposition - Thomas Repka anyone? - David James is not the man to organise a unit to stop shipping goals.

From a financial perspective, this may not be a sensible move for City either. Although a long way from the monetary meltdown at Elland Road, there have significant debts rumoured to be anything up to £50million. Is a reported £2million transfer fee, plus substantial wages, good business for a man well into his 30s?

Although in desperate need for a goalkeeper, perhaps Keegan has rushed into this move. Who knows, in a week Paul Robinson may be available for roughly the same price as paid for James if the Arabian Sheikh doesn't shake himself into action with a rescue package for Leeds. Promising goalkeepers such as Robert Green of Norwich would surely be a more long-term solution. And if City really needed a short-term solution, a cheaper and arguably better option would be Southampton's Wales international Paul Jones, who although on loan at Liverpool would be available before the window closes.

531: David Seaman

by : Stephen Orford

Group C: CAMEROON, ALGERIA, EGYPT, ZIMBABWE

Defending champions Cameroon have won the last two finals in the competition on penalties and will again go into the tournament among the favourites. There will be an obvious desire within the squad to make it a hat-trick of titles in honour of the late Marc-Vivien Foe. They are currently the highest ranked African nation in FIFA’s world rankings, standing at 14 and have proved consistent performers on the world stage, only losing to France to a Golden Goal in last summer’s Confederation Cup final. They defend their title with an experienced squad, although one that is possibly a little over-reliant on Samuel Eto’o going forward.

The bulk of the Algerian squad plies its trade in Western Europe, although they lack any star names. They have already benefited from the new FIFA nationality ruling, with Antar Yahia, Samir Beloufa and Ouadah Abdelnasser all receiving clearance to play. The fact that all three go into the finals without an international cap to their name could present problems in how coach Rabah Sadane's will gel as a unit.

The Egyptians are currently the second highest ranked African nation in FIFA’s list. Their main hopes would seem to lie with the volatile Ahmed “Mido” Hossam in attack and the midfielder Ahmed Hassan. Veteran captain Hany Ramzy misses out through injury, which could prove a significant blow. The bulk of the squad is domestically based, with Zamalek providing the core of coach Mohsen Saleh’s team.

Zimbabwe only qualified as the best group runners-up in qualifying. The squad is largely made up of home-based players, although their main hopes will rest on Auxerre striker Benjamin Mwaruwaru and Sheffield United veteran Peter Ndlovu. Their preparations haven’t been helped in being held to a recent 0:0 draw in Harare by what turned out to be a “fake” El Salvador team that had been hastily cobbled together by Zimbabwe’s Italian shirt sponsors.

Group D: NIGERIA, MOROCCO, SOUTH AFRICA, BENIN

Many will be backing Nigeria, but their build up to the tournament behind the scenes has been no more professional than usual, with the Nigerian Sports Minister Mohammed Musa admitting interfering in the FA’s affairs. It’s also worth remembering that the FA made an aborted attempt to recruit the abject managerial skills of Bryan Robson, which speaks volumes. There are major doubts over the ability of coach Christian Chukwu and, for all their attacking prowess, the defence is far from secure. They are also in the toughest looking group in the tournament, with Morocco and South Africa providing stern opposition. Obafemi Martins has withdrawn from the squad to concentrate on his club career, although whether this is his own decision is open to question?

With the finals being held in north African rivals Tunisia, Morocco will be determined to go well. Their cause certainly wasn’t aided by their being drawn in the “Group of Death”, but they did qualify without conceding a single goal. Key player is likely to be Deportivo La Coruna’s veteran defender Noureddine Naybet.

South Africa probably hasn’t progressed in recent years as many would have anticipated, but they will did at least qualify for the finals ahead of the fancied Ivory Coast. They have certainly been hit harder than most with withdrawals, injuries and premature retirements, with Steven Pienaar, Mark Fish, Quinton Fortune, Benni McCarthy, Lucas Radebe, Hans Vonk and Shaun Bartlett all missing for one reason or another. In addition their coach, Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba, has been suspended by the FA barely two weeks prior to the finals for failure to carry out his duties to a satisfactory level.

Benin caused something of an upset in qualifying at the expense of Zambia, beating them 3:0 in their final game. The best hope of “the Squirrels” pulling off a surprise result or two in their first-ever appearance at a major finals probably rest with Guingamp striker Oumar Tchomogo.

It’s always risky assessing the latter stages of tournaments, given that one rogue result in a group game can change everything. But, looking at the draw, the quarter-finals could well line up as follows:

TUNISIA V MALI
SENEGAL V GUINEA
CAMEROON V NIGERIA
MOROCCO V EGYPT

Even allowing for the calibre of those likely to figure in the latter stages, Cameroon could have the competitive nous and organisation to go all the way to another final. The other finalist may well come from the north, with Egypt looking the most formidable of the teams from the region. While opting for Cameroon to make it a hat-trick of wins, the Pharaohs could well be capable of pushing them all the way to yet another shoot-out.
Stephen Orford pays tribute to David Seaman.

After a long and illustrious career David Seaman announced his retirement on Tuesday night. Manchester City have already lined up David James as his replacement but it is for his tenure as the custodian for Arsenal and England that the Yorkshireman will be remembered.

Seaman won 75 caps in a wonderful England career and can rightly count himself up among the greatest ever England goalkeepers. His exit from the game, although inevitable at the age of 40, leaves a big void in terms of truly world class English 'keepers. Fifteen or twenty years ago there were probably five Englishmen among the top ten goalkeepers in the world, but the influx of foreign talent has seen English shot-stoppers fall behind on the world stage. While a capable and often spectacular shot-stopper, even James has question marks over his consistency.

Indeed, the latter part of Seaman's career was blighted with the sort of howlers that one would normally expect from James. Few will ever forget the audacious cross-cum-shot from Ronaldinho which knocked England out of the 2002 World Cup, or the goal Seaman conceded direct from a corner in a Euro 2004 Qualifier at Southampton. However, these mistakes came when Seaman's skills were very much on the wane. At the peak of his powers througout the 1990's David Seaman's mistakes were as rare as Ade Akinbiyi's Premiership goals. Pre-pony-tail, Seaman was vital as the last line of the famously miserly Arsenal defence under George Graham, and could also be found regularly performing heroics in an England shirt. Who could forget his penalty save against Scotland from Gary McAllister at Euro 96? Or another breathtaking penalty save from Miguel Nadal in a shoot-out against Spain in the same competition? Seaman's career has been littered with such miraculous exploits, but is was perhaps his no-nonsense style and the way he made his job look so easy that was most impressive.

Even after his hairdressing nightmares set in, Seaman still managed to keep goal for both Arsenal and England with great distinction, helping the Gunners to league and cup doubles in 1998 and 2002. With England, he remained his country's number one goalkeeper until the latter part of 2002 when he was aged 39. Seaman was not only a goalkeeper of great agility and poise, but also evidently one of great longevity. His last trophy success in English football was last year's FA Cup when he helped keep Southampton at bay in a 1-0 victory for the Gooners. It was his fourth FA Cup winners medal, and would not have been possible where it not for a miraculous save against Sheffield United in the semi-final. Written off by most at that point in his career, Seaman produced one of the greatest saves of his life to ensure another final appearance.

Discarded by Arsenal at the end of the 2002/3 season Seaman moved on to Manchester City for one more crack at the big time. Many have argued that this was a mistake, and that he should have retired at that time to take up a coaching position at Highbury. The competetive nature of Seaman gave him other ideas and he chose to take up a one year deal at City. Despite fleeting glimpses of his former brilliance the doubters were again out in force, as City's unreliable back-line at times made Seaman look like a man who had gone on one year too long. Finally, after picking up a shoulder injury in Saturday's 4-2 reverse at Portsmouth Seaman succumbed to the pressure being placed on his ageing body and announced his retirement.

I cannot deny that this writer was among those who felt that Seaman had gone on too long when he took up the option of a year with Manchester City. Even after his performances at the 2002 World Cup I was convinced that he would damage his reputation by continuing. Now, after the announcement of the end of his career he will hopefully be remembered as a legend among not only English goalkeepers but those throughout the world.

Fans of Arsenal and England won't need persuading.

530: Betting preview: African Natio

by : David Hulott

David Hulott runs the rule over the 16 nations competing for the African Nations Cup.

It may not meet with the approval of Messrs Pleat, Allardyce and countless other club coaches throughout Europe, but the African Nations Cup kicks-off in Tunisia on January 24. This year’s competition looks to be the strongest yet, with the gulf in class between the traditional giants of African football and the rest closing all the time. The ever increasing numbers of African players plying their trade in Europe, with the French and Belgian leagues being particularly popular destinations, and the recent FIFA ruling over nationality have both helped to boost the standard of the finalists this year.

Among the pre-tournament favourites will be the current holders, Cameroon, while Nigeria, Senegal, Egypt and the host nation will also have their backers. Making their debut at the finals will be Benin, Rwanda and Zimbabwe, although it seems unlikely that any of them will progress beyond the group stage.

The last finals in Mali were somewhat disappointing, with goals in very short supply. With the levelling in standards throughout the continent, games are again expected to be tight this time, but hopefully with a little more emphasis on testing the goalkeepers.

As seems obligatory with African football, the build up to the finals has been beset by internal disputes, managerial changes, financial mismanagement and all manner of administrative problems. This could particularly hamper the hopes of Nigeria and South Africa, although in the case of the former this is very much the norm anyway.

Group A: TUNISIA, RWANDA, GUINEA, DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO

Much will be expected of Tunisia as hosts, especially with former France national coach Roger Lemerre at the helm. They will be boosted by the decision of Brazilian-born Sochaux striker Francileudo Santos to commit his international future to the country where he established himself, prior to making his name in France.

If the Football Federation is capable of dealing with the administrative and organisational side of things without interference from the national Government, Guinea could prove to be lively outsiders. They have a particularly potent looking strikeforce, in the form of Souleymane Youla (the Genclerbirligi striker who caused Blackburn Rovers so many problems in the UEFA Cup earlier this season), Aboubacar Titi Camara (yes, the former Anfield "favourite") and Pascal Feindouno. They can also call upon the Celtic’s Bobo Balde, although team-mate Momo Sylla has withdrawn for personal reasons.

The Democratic Republic of Congo will have a certain amount of interest from Blighty as a result of having former Huddersfield Town boss Mick Wadsworth coaching the side. They will badly miss Shabani Nonda, Monaco’s injured striker, but can call upon Newcastle United’s Lomana Tresor LuaLua. The omens don’t look too promising in that they failed to win any games away from Kinshasa in qualifying for the finals.

Rwanda caused one of the major upsets in qualifying for the finals at the expense of Ghana, even allowing for the perennial underachievement of the latter. In what will be their first appearance in the finals, they will kick-off the opening game of the tournament against the host nation. They will have high hopes of 21-year old striker Jean Lomani, current leading scorer in the Zambian league. Can also count on the passionate and financial support of Rwandan president Paul Kagame.

Group B: SENEGAL, MALI, KENYA, BURKINA FASO

Having established themselves as a major force in world football over the last few years, Senegal are again expected to be strong contenders. They have a number of quality players plying their trade in the major European leagues, although few of them have lived up to expectations since World Cup 2002. New coach Guy Stephan will be under pressure in following the popular Bruno Metsu.

Mali reached the semi-finals when hosting the tournament last time and could go well again. While the long-running saga over Frederic Kanoute’s availability threatened to derail their preparations somewhat, the squad contains plenty of other fine players in the likes of Mahamdou Diarra, Seydou Keita, Mamadou Bagayoko and Mohamed Sissoko. They will also be facing group rivals Senegal in the qualifiers for World Cup 2006, so the game between the two here will have extra significance.

Kenya’s very presence at the finals was still in doubt until President Mwai Kibaki promised the FA that his Government would supply funds to enable the squad to travel to Tunisia. Their cause isn’t helped in having two domestic leagues running parallel as a result of infighting at the national football federation. Having secured the necessary Kenyan shillings to participate, their hopes will largely rest on 19-year old Qatar-based striker Denis Oliech.

Burkina Faso has a sprinkling of European-based talent, although injury has ruled out probably their most widely recognised player in Freiburg striker Wilfried Sanou. They have now established themselves as a force on the continent, with this being their fifth consecutive appearance in the finals. Much could depend on striker Moumouni Dagano, hat-trick hero in Guingamp's 3:2 win over Strasbourg in his last game for his French club side prior to the finals.

529: Transfer window: Nicky Butt

by : Stephen Orford

Stephen Orford goes through the candidates for the signature of Nicky Butt.

For some team sportsmen and women it is enough to merely be associated with a successful club or team. What could be easier than turning up for training for a couple of hours each morning, and then sitting down with your feet up at the weekend while your all-conquering colleagues battle it out for supremacy against cheeky upstart pretenders to the throne? Throw in a huge salary and you would think that this sort of lifestyle would suit perfectly.

Not Nicky Butt, it seems. The Manchester United midfielder is on the verge of another massive pay day as he approaches his testimonial year at Old Trafford. Yet, he shocked everyone this week with the revelation that he has handed in a transfer request to the club. Sir Alex Ferguson, usually the man to decide who goes and when they leave his evil empire, has accepted this request but called it "a very sad situation". Sad indeed, but the England midfielder seems determined to move on to secure regular first team football.

A product of the same youth system that produced the likes of Giggs, Beckham, Scholes and the Neville brothers, Butt has fallen behind in the Manchester United midfield pecking order, despite the much publicised sales of Beckham and Juan Sebastian Veron. Staggeringly, it is Phil Neville who currently keeps Butt out of the loop, and with others like Kleberson and Ronaldo arriving at the club it seems that only Eric Djemba Djemba finds himself more disadvantaged than Butt. Everybody knows that Djemba Djemba is so good they named him twice, but Nicky Butt has plenty of admirers too. Pele picked him out as one of the best players at the 2002 World Cup, and the man whose opinion matters most when it comes to England, manager Sven Goran Eriksson, seems impressed also, despite Butt's limited club opportunities.

Butt's availability is bound to attract the attention of a whole host of Premiership clubs. An early candidate according to some media sources was Chelsea. Pardon me for being a bit thick, but wouldn't a man who is leaving his beloved club for the sake of his first team opportunities be committed to an asylum for joining Chelsea? The Stamford Bridge club have a midfield corps that is more crowded than the road to a Robbie Williams concert, and would hardly be able to guarantee Butt a regular place. Of course, a player of such distinction will not want to fall too far down the league ladder when looking for a new challenge. Still awaiting his 29th birthday, Butt is arguably at his peak and will want to join an ambitious club that can give him the opportunity to add to his already gigantic medal collection.

Newcastle United are more like my idea of a genuine contender for his signature. Enduring an up and down season so far, the Toon Army would surely welcome a little bit of steel to their often over-run midfield. While it is true that they have a great prospect in that area in Jermaine Jenas, a player of Butt's experience might be just what they need at this point. This experience would also prove invaluable to the football education of young men like Jenas, along with Keiron Dyer and company.

I think we can discount Liverpool. I have already fired out a memo to the Prime Minister pleading with him to introduce some sort of legislation to stop Monsieur Houllier from wasting any more of the club's money, and it is a rare event indeed to see a player make the switch from Old Trafford to Anfield. Even His Royal Cockiness, Big Time Charlie in-Chief Paul Ince had to use the road to Milan to travel the 30 or so miles down the M62. He was rightly vilified for his emergence at Anfield by his old fans in Manchester, and his performances on the field failed to emulate those of his early days at United. Once bitten, twice shy.

How about a move to the other side of Stanley Park? It looks unlikely. With the allegedly reborn Blues flapping about like a drowning man at the wrong end of the league table, they would hardly be a mouth-watering prospect for a man of Butt's standing in the game. It is far more possible that Butt could be used as a sweetener in a deal to bring Louis Saha to Manchester, or that a club like Tottenham or Birmingham could convince him that he is the missing piece in their jigsaw. The Old Trafford club have already denied that a swap deal with Middlesbrough is on the cards, the idea being for Gareth Southgate to go to United to fill the void about to be left by Rio Ferdinand.

Whoever signs him will be getting a player of proven quality and experience. I have got to go now. I have just heard that Middlesbrough are also in talks to sign Emile Heskey from Liverpool, and there's a man at the door with the Champagne that I ordered.

527: McAllisters Sad Ending

by : Alex Wolstenholme

Alex Wolstenholme looks back at the short time Gary McAllister was at Coventry City.

As a manager, the jury is still out on Gary McAllister but Coventry fans will retain their respect for the man for a number of reasons as he leaves Highfield Road on a permanent basis to care for his seriously ill wife.

Firstly, McAllister took the job at all. Given the option of another year on his Liverpool contract with European football and all that or taking on a first division club, sixty million in debt, with no ground to call their own and the certainty of having to sell players most people would have chosen the former. To his credit, McAllister took on the challenge and made it doubly hard for himself by continuing as a player.

Players were duly sold. Magnus Hedman, David Thompson and Lee Hughes departed, to be replaced by free transfers and loan signings. Initially it worked ok and City were in the play offs going into 2003. Things went downhill from then with only league win until the end of the season.

The financial situation didn’t help but players were chopped and changed with alarming regularity and a settled team and tactics were reserved for other teams. Despite this McAllister retained the support of the fans who gave him a standing ovation after the final home game of the season against Gillingham.

Over summer, with the high earners off the payroll, McAllister brought in a number of new players (again on free transfers). And the club are making progress, albeit painfully slowly. Building work on a new stadium is underway, the debt has been reduced and the team is trying to play decent football although a chronic lack of firepower is keeping them in the bottom half of the table.

Having had one spell of compassionate leave, McAllister came back to lead the team again and even managed to put in his best performance of the season as a player when he scored in the televised game against Sunderland. His farewell upon being substituted hinted at a departure and it duly came a few days later, temporary at first but now made permanent.

There are plenty more things in life more important in football and no one can criticise McAllister’s decision in any way. Coming back to the club after six months, a year or even more would have been difficult. The club itself needs to keep moving; new players are desperately needed and that has to be the preserve of the man in charge.

McAllister goes with the best wishes of not just Coventry fans but surely most football supporters up and down the country.

526: Relegation - the runners and r

by : Red Kitching

Red Kitching gives his predictions for the drop.

The 2003-2004 season is shaping up nicely and most teams in the premiership have something to play for other than just bobbing along on a wave of mid-table mediocrity. The biggest drama and most of the interest is looking towards to the foot of the table to see who is doomed and who is looking like they will be dining at the top table for another season.

Here is an assessment of the teams involved and what might happen to them in the second half of the season:-

DEEP TROUBLE!

Wolverhampton Wanderers
After a shocking start to the season, they have shown consistency at home. They quickly need to turn draws into wins at home and start to turn defeats into draws away. A serious lack of goals and (old) age of their team means that they will probably be falling through the trapdoor come May.

Leeds Utd
What else can be said about Leeds? I really fear for the existence of the club as if they do not go into administration on 19th January, they are destined to be forced down that road if they go down. That is looking increasingly likely too as vultures circle the club looking to feed off the bones of the team and take away the best players. Look certainties to go down as well.

NEEDING TO WORK HARD

Leicester City
The team that specializes in throwing away leads. A trait they may well live to regret. They have been scoring plenty of goals this season, which is a key area in the battle for survival. They show battling qualities as well, but the lack of premiership class players may leave them with too much to do.

Portsmouth
Had a great start to the season but have struggled ever since. The loss of form of Sheringham and the loss of Yakubu to the African Nations Cup means is almost insignificant in relation to the injuries in the squad. Harry will have to do some serious wheeling and dealing to get his club to safety.

LOOKING OVER THEIR SHOULDERS

Tottenham
The Fredi Kanoute situation could not have come at a worse time for Spurs. They will miss the goals the big Frenchman-Malian-Martian (or whatever nationality he pretends to be this week) provides. They should have enough quality to get by, but if they don’t get another source of goals in his absence to help out Robbie Keane, they may come too close for comfort.

Blackburn
I bet they wish they had stuck with what they had in the summer and not sold both Duff and Dunn, but that was then and this is now. With little money to replace the midfield walking wounded, they need some perspiration and inspiration added in the centre of the park. The recent goals from Cole and Yorke will be welcome and if they can find some consistency, the comfort zone beckons.

Manchester City
A team in crisis. Haven’t won since the last King died, struggling at the back and rumours of discontent in the dressing room, has Kevin Keegan’s time come to an end? I think this could be the time that the City board should stick, rather than twist, and keep Keegan through to the end of the season. The advent good weather in the spring should see them start to pick up the points that will see them in a healthy position.

Middlesbrough
Don’t score. Don’t concede. One of the best defences in the league should see them through to safety. Any injury to Gareth Southgate could see them shockingly relegated. An investment in a striker would probably guarantee them a decent finish.

So, who will finish in the bottom three? My crystal ball tells me it will be the following:-

Leeds
Wolverhampton
Portsmouth

525: Durkin’s honesty deserves plau

by : Alex Wolstenholme

Alex Wolstenholme wants to applaud Paul Durkin.

Following on from Paul Durkin’s appearance before the Sky cameras to explain his decisions in the Manchester United versus Newcastle game, the Premier League should make it compulsory for all referees to do the same after each game.

Durkin was honest in his assessment of the two major decisions he made, saying he didn’t see the contact between Tim Howard and Alan Shearer and that Mikael Silvestre’s goal was ruled out as he thought the player had manhandled his way past the Newcastle defender.

In doing so, Durkin drew the fire of both managers when they were questioned about the incidents. They may have disagreed with the decisions but, presented with the facts they weren’t able to do what many managers do and portray the ref as being biased or uncommunicative or inconsistent or whatever.

If the referee had hidden away, the penalty that wasn’t given would have been presented as another example of bias towards Manchester United and the standing of referees would have taken another blow. And calls for video replays to be used in such situations are misleading as a decision such as that one is still down to opinions. Durkin viewed the replays and said that if he had seen it from that angle he would have given. Who is to say though that another referee would?

Durkin’s honesty also undermined Alex Ferguson’s claim that he had disallowed the Man Utd `goal` to even things up which is strange as the referee only realised his mistake after the match.

Managers ask for two things from referees, common sense and consistency without seeming to realise that in applying common sense they can’t always be consistent. Durkin applied common sense to the penalty decision but if there had been a similar incident later on that he had seen fully he would have had to give a penalty. Common sense but not consistent.

Referees have to make subjective decisions throughout a match and they are bound to make mistakes. As a Coventry fan I’ve witnessed countless baffling decisions, inconsistent performances and off days over the years but they have been from the (professional) players! Expecting any different from a referee is crazy. All that we can ask is that they explain why they did what they did and full marks to Paul Durkin for doing so.

524: Its a pleasure to meet you, Mr

by : Scott Stephens

Next we have Bolton, Everton, and Spurs. This trio of teams are interestingly poised together as we enter the second half of the season. With a bit of consistency and a little more luck with injuries I believe Bolton can push on and take a European spot. Sam Allardyce has worked a miracle at the club and for me is the best manager in the Premeirship. His method of obtaining and retaining players from all over the globe and then gelling the whole mix together is a wonderful example of a great modern day manager. Meanwhile Spurs have the quality and Everton the fight to ensure both should finish around the positions they are in now.

So what we have left are the clubs desperately hoping to avoid the drop.
I’m taking it for granted that Wolves have gone, and I expect Leeds to
follow. Without an influx of new players it’s hard to see how Dave Jones or
Eddie Gray can instil the consistent improvement needed to make up the gap
they have on the other candidates.

We’ve already analysed Man City – When you are regularly being turned over by the sides at the bottom – Conceding 4 goals to Pompey and 3 to Leicester at home demonstrates how dire City’s situation is.

Middlesbrough aren’t giving the goals away, but scoring is the name of the game in the Prem and with the worst scoring record in the division I expect Boro to have a nervy four months.

Blackburn are down with the dead men due to consistency – Losing to Bolton when 3-1 up yesterday merely demonstrates that. However I feel Souness will instil fight and come May Rovers will maintain the position in the Premiership.

Portsmouth and Leicester battled each other out to win Division 1 last season and both these sides will be slugging it out with each other to avoid the drop. The signing of Berkovic, who will be a perfect foil to feed a willing runner like Yakubu could be the masterstroke for Harry Redknapp. Portsmouth need to hope Yakubu won’t miss too many games due to African nations commitments. Leicester will grimly fight to the death.

So who will join Wolves and Leeds in the Nationwide next season? My belief is that it will be between the 3 Citys – Birmingham, Manchester, and Leicester, who will be heading through the drop zone. I will take Leicester, but it’s going to be a hard struggle for so many sides this Spring.Scott Stephens wants to tell everyone about the day he met Mrs Toure.

As a matchday seller of Arsenal Fanzines The Gooner and Highbury High, you get to meet all the stars! Well not exactly, but Trevor Brooking is a regular customer of mine, as is 'Gus' from EastEnders. Not to mention the time when a sidelined Pascal Cygan bought a copy of 'The Gooner' from me at the beginning of last year. Along with his £2 he kindly gave me a spare ticket which I happily gave away to the Supporter's Club and which later transpired to have given a 7 year old his first chance to see a game at Highbury. Nice one Pascal!

However, nothing could quite prepare me for the day when I was approached by a very colourful and outrageous character, later revealed to be none other than Mrs. Kolo Toure!

Much like many other Arsenal fan, I strongly believe that Kolo Toure has been an absolutely amazing find. After playing a very bit-part role for the Gunners last season, I like many other Arsenal fans were not entirely sure of his potential or even what position he was most comfortable in! I was somewhat surprised when prior to Arsenal's two-nil home win against Borussia Dortmund in the Champion's League last season, Matias Sammer, stated that Toure had been on the wish list of many European managers in the summer.

However, this season he has been a defensive rock and an attacking dynamo; his recent goal against Leeds in the F.A Cup providing the icing on the cake of an amazing first half of the season for the 22 year old. Ten games into the season and Toure was fast becoming one of the first names on Monsieur Wenger's teamsheet and the talk of the North Bank. A very early tip for player of the season, Toure was setting the premiership alight; playing with a smile on his face and looking bitterly upset when things didn't go his way. He was very close indeed to reaching hero status with me!

Saturday the eighth of November; the big one (albeit not so big anymore!). Spurs at home and I had about twenty minutes more selling time before I could down tools (well, fanzines!) and take my seat in the lower West Stand. As any fanzine seller would know, the last twenty minutes before kick off are pretty frantic, as hoards spill out of the surrounding pubs and people in a rush wave £5 notes at you! The North London derby was a rather slower day though and I expected many to have entered the ground slightly earlier than usual. I continue to shout 'Get ya' Gooner, your latest issue' at which point a trolley suitcase parks at my feet.

‘I'll have the one with Kolo on the front’

Asks an attractive, very colourful young lady with a distinct French accent. She was referring to the Highbury High, which that month had Toure on the front cover. She frantically raided her bag for her purse, as all manner of objects were tossed aside; mobile phone, make-up bag and hairbrush!

'That's my husband!'

She said.

'Who is?'

I reply trying to reassuringly stall the other customers who were now queuing behind her!

'Kolo!'

She replies excitedly.

'Really?'

I exclaim as she shows me her wedding ring; a stunning diamond (Kolo; apparently a real lady's man!)

'Yes. We met in the Ivory Coast, where Kolo is from. We have been married two years now'

She tells me as still her face is buried in her bag, still frantically searching for her purse. She pulls out her match ticket which along the left hand side, duly reads, 'Mrs. Kolo Toure.' I'm blown away and by this time feel like buying the fanzine for her myself, at which point she whips out a £2 pound coin.

'Do you like him?'

She innocently asks.

‘I think he is absolutely fantastic!'

I reply, still quite shocked by the situation in hand.

'Please tell him that he is Arsenal's best player this season and that many people think that!'

She thanks me and shoves the fanzine in to her seemingly bottomless bag and heads off towards the Clock End.

I felt as if I had committed my good deed for that day by ensuring that Toure knew that we Arsenal fans think a lot of what he is doing this year and long may it continue. I was paid back for my good deed as we went on to beat our 'friends' from the other end of Seven Sister's Road 2-1 and Toure played a blinder!

523: Premiership relegation candida

by : Steve Heald

Steve Heald looks down from the Premiership.

Saturday 10th January 2004 could be perceived as a watershed in the 2003-4 premiership season. The view held all season that there is no gulf between the teams in the positions fourth to nineteenth in the top division has been widely quoted up to this weekend. A cursory glance at the table on the 11th January tells an interesting story. Cracks are appearing, teams are sailing off towards safety and a stab at the European places, whilst others are in for a long hard slog to avoid the dreaded drop, and the dismal repercussions this leads to in this very depressing era of football finance. The type that threatens to ruin the game for generations to come, perhaps irreparably.

Kevin Keegan, during his sides dismal run of 14 games in all competitions without a win, is the man with the biggest headache right now. He has continually pedalled the statistic that a couple of wins on the bounce would elevate his side from sinking relegation candidates into Champions League contenders. He needs to study the table after Manchester City lost the relegation crunch match with Portsmouth on Saturday.

When he does he will see that even relying on the teams around City losing, 2 wins will only raise his club into a mid-table position at best. City haven’t won 2 games on the bounce all season and if you subscribe to the view that many of City’s early season results were achieved on the back of immense good fortune you have a side that could have been sitting closer to Wolves than they do right now. For all the money spent by Keegan this is a scandalous situation.

Pundits say City have too many good players to go down, but didn’t they say that about West Ham last season? It boils down to desire, team work, and guts and this City side doesn’t have any.

Selling your best creative player, sorry, giving away your best creative player, Eyal Berkovic, to a relegation rival and allowing him to make an inspired debut against you seems to be utter insanity. Sure, Berkovic threw his dummy out of the pram in the summer and Keegan was right to show him who is the boss. However it was believed the pair had resolved their differences. So why didn’t Keegan pick him, irrespective of what he thought of him as a person? Madness.

I went on record as saying the Robbie Fowler deal was probably the arrangement that burst the Keegan bubble. In tandem I feel the handling of Berkovic may be viewed as another factor in Keegan ultimately failing at City.

Charlton, Southampton, and Fulham are three clubs I believe can happily wave the clubs below goodbye as they sail on towards European football or at worst Premiership safety.

It looks inevitable that Fulham will lose Saha to Man U because United have played the game and ensured the player knew about the opportunity to sign for United, thus destabilising Fulhams resolve in keeping their star striker. I believe this division is full of very poor sides, the difference in most of them being how easy they find it to score goals. With Saha gone the Fulham players should be able to get behind Chris Coleman and his wonderful start to life as Premier manager. However goals will be harder to come by and the second half of the season will not be as easy as the run they have had so far. I expect mid table safety.

Charlton continue to battle on efficiently and quietly produce the results. They will obtain European football and could push Newcastle/Liverpool all the way for the last Champions League place. However my money is on Newcastle to have a good consistent run in the second half of the season and to bag the 4th spot. The implications for Liverpool, with the worst side they have had since Bill Shankly inherited the club, could be interesting to watch.

Southampton, similarly to Charlton, should be able to keep chipping away at their league spot, though my only concern would be the effect on the players Gordon Strachans announcement may have on the side. Remember how Man U slid when Fergie initially announced his retirement? I still expect Strachan to instil fight into his players to the very end.

Birmingham are also currently in this batch of clubs, but I see them swaying on the cliff face hoping not to fall off the edge. Like Man City they have been in freefall, their initially strong defence has been leaking goals. I still see a relegation battle for the Brummies.

So what of the teams in the lower half of the table? It may seem strange to
include Aston Villa in this group. After all, they are currently level on
points with Southampton. I feel Villa have had a good run but they won’t
sustain it. There is not enough quality at the club, and whilst they
presently have a 7 point cushion on the relegation zone I feel they will not
breathe easily until the latter stages of the season.

522: Top 10 players in the Nationwi

by : Jonny Hall

Jonny Hall argues that Premiership teams should look more to the Nationwide that the continent.

Just how big is the gap between The Premiership and The Football League in terms of quality? I’m not talking about quality of football. I’m talking about quality of players.

Agreed, there is a difference in class – there are no world class players in the Nationwide Leagues, but there are quality players in the Nationwide Leagues without a doubt. The problem is that the Premiership clubs not so much turn a blind eye on this talent but don’t take a gamble on them. It shouldn’t be like this.

A round of applause must go to Tottenham Hotspur. Yes, Spurs. The so-called ‘problem’ club have got it right in the January transfer window by snapping up Sheffield United midfielder Michael Brown for an undisclosed fee. Some may think Spurs grabbed Brown from under the nose of several snooping Premiership clubs but I would bet you the Brammall Lane side had very few serious offers for their prized asset.

Hopefully the quick-thinking of Spurs will set an example for the rest of the top flight clubs because, let’s face it, buying players from the Nationwide Leagues rather than from abroad has got to be the way forward. It should be the way forward. Message to Gerard Houllier at Liverpool: why have an El Hadji-Diouf when you could have a Ricardo Fuller from Preston North End or a Robert Earnshaw from Cardiff City? A lot of the Premiership clubs sacrifice talent for reputation and that can’t be a good thing – Diouf had a good World Cup and he’s lauded as the next big thing. He’s proved to be the next big flop as have many others that you could reel off on both hands.

Simply put, foreigners have to be given time to settle in this country, break through the language barrier (which is mightily awkward sometimes, as I found out during a four-day stay in Italy last week), not to mention adapt to the one thing they are getting paid for and that’s playing football. Yes, David Beckham seems to be settling in quite well with his Real Madrid teammates in Spain but for others it doesn’t go quite so smoothly, just ask Steve McManaman. If I were a Premiership manager (god forbid, I’d be a nervous wreck) I would take a gamble and pluck a player out of the Nationwide Leagues and throw him in at the Premiership deep end. I’m sure he wouldn’t let me down – Michael Brown will prove to be a valuable member of the Spurs squad.

I must also take my hat off to Sir Bobby Robson at Newcastle United for having the nerve to use his contacts at First Division Ipswich Town to bring the likes of Darren Ambrose to St James’ Park. Sir Bobby also had an eye for Nottingham Forest’s Jermaine Jenas, who shows great promise both now and for the future. The Nationwide Leagues are where talent should be blooded and groomed so they are ready for their chance to shine at the highest level.

Here, I target the top 10 most valuable players in the Nationwide Football League – will Premiership managers do the same before the transfer window slams shut again…?

1) Jermain Defoe, West Ham United
2) Ricardo Fuller, Preston North End
3) Andy Reid, Nottingham Forest
4) Robert Earnshaw, Cardiff City
5) Michael Dawson, Nottingham Forest
6) Dean Ashton, Crewe Alexandra
7) Rob Hulse, West Bromwich Albion
8) Leon Knight, Brighton & Hove Albion
9) Nigel Reo-Coker, Wimbledon
10) Wayne Routledge, Crystal Palace