The 10 worst opening day defeats in the modern game

The new football season in England kicks off on Saturday and everyone will be going into the first game full of optimism and hope for a successful season. Unfortunately, some fans may be left crying in their beer come Saturday night. You see, football can be a cruel, cruel game. It can take that op...

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Is this the worst football kit ever?

Players and fans are supposed to wear their shirts with pride, but sometimes the tops are so hideous they make you utterly ashamed. Arsenal fans have complained about their Dennis the Menace away kit, Manchester United supporters have hit out over their new tartan home kit and some Liverpool fans a...

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Special report: Following football from the disabled area

On August18, 2012, Charlton Athletic visit St Andrews in the Championship. Personally speaking the fixture is a trip down memory lane. You see Birmingham City v Charlton Athletic was the first game I saw in the flesh. The date was September 15 1979 and the Blues won 1-0. Immediately I was hooke...

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Euro 2012 Fantasy Football invitation

Calling all fantasy football fans. Have we got a treat for you. If you think you are a better manager than Englands Roy Hodgson or that you could leave Germanys Joachim Low feeling really down in the dumps then why dont you prove it? Weve set up our own Euro 2012 mini-league with the Sun and youve...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A long time ago in a Stadium far far away, ITV began their FA Cup Final coverage

The 2011-12 football season will probably be looked back upon with a real intrigue in future decades. It has been a long, incident-strewn expedition encompassing an abundance of controversy, drama and despair. It is hard to remember another campaign with more extraordinary talking points. The Luis S...

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The top 10 dives in football history

Manchester United’s Ashley Young and Chelsea’s Didier Drogba have caused controversy over the past fortnight by diving to win penalties and going down quicker than your average High Street hooker. Ashley Young started it all off by winning a cheap penalty against QPR’s Shaun Derry, when the tough m...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Tevez, title races and titillation in a terrific week of football TV

Well, it was a helluva’ few days in the Premier League title race last week wasn’t it? The fortunes of the twin Manchester clubs are weaving increasingly erratic patterns as the burden of the top trophy begins to heap its weight on their slumping shoulders. The last seven days or so have seen a numb...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A tough week of watching tough men taking tough action; and then there was Gary Neville on Super Sunday

There are many boulevards open to footballers when the time finally comes for them to hang up their boots, delete Sir Alex’s number from their Blackberry and say goodbye to the pantomime-drudgery of the Premier League. Obviously, the twin favourites for many pros are either a cushy job coaching the ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: One year on from Keys and Gray but is Sky burning any brighter?

It’s been around fourteen months since the corridors and offices of Sky Sports were rocked irrevocably by the now-infamous sexism scandal surrounding part-man, part-ape Richard Keys and his bosom buddy Andy Gray – the worthy winner of Nuts magazine’s 2006 ‘TV Personality That Most Resembles a Baby...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A tough week for the ‘football family’ but the future’s looking bright, and looking orange for the Toon Army

It has certainly been a difficult old week in football. Quite rightly, the grave events surrounding Bolton’s Fabrice Muamba dominated all stratums of the game over the past seven days, and by extension all of the football coverage too. This resulted in a strange ambivalence amongst the week’s acti...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Failure, hope and horror – just another weekend in the lives of Leicester City and ESPN

Despite the fact it has reached the ‘business end’ of the competition, I have so far abstained from reviewing ESPN’s FA Cup coverage; this is for two purely righteous reasons. Firstly, I believe that everyone should have the opportunity to watch England’s foremost domestic cup competition and I a...

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Beckham, Best, Henry or Cantona: Who were the coolest footballers to ever live?

We would all like to be footballers, right? The money, the women, the cars. Oh, and the playing of football. That’s pretty good. But some are cooler than others. Too cool, even. So cool they make everyone else look like silly, awkward, emasculated chumps. So who were the 10 coolest footballers to e...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A prosperous week for Liverpool in the cups but off the field is a different story

The days leading up to the weekend’s FA Cup Fourth Round ties were not particularly pleasant for many football fans, a week in which the unseemly and murky face of football was glaringly apparent. Many column inches were devoted to the tax-evasion trial of Spurs manager Harry Redknapp, as well as th...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: An incident-packed week at the BBC leaves Savage short of support and Lineker lost for words

They say a week in football is a long time and it can certainly be said that there was enough controversy, incident and wonder crammed into the last seven days of football to keep Joey Barton’s Twitter account going for years. The fallout from the Manchester derby, the return of Scholes and Henry, t...

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Racism is in the spotlight but what is being done to tackle homophobia?

The FA stamped down on Luis Suarez’s racism towards Patrice Evra. And it’s quite right that they did, isn’t it? For when we look back into the past, and certainly in football’s past, we see things that are shockingly vile. In the seventies and part of the eighties, black footballers were subjected ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Manchester disunited but the magic of the FA Cup is alive and well

The much talked about magic of the FA Cup was present in abundance this Sunday during the huge third round Manchester showdown, in fact there was more magic contained in the 90 minutes than during a Paul Daniels swingers party. Chris Foy’s card tricks, a disappearing City captain and most mystifying...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A football overkill but Fabregas’ Barcelona adventure keeps us watching

At the top of this article you will see, if you can get past the crass, self-congratulatory overuse of my own name, that the tagline for this column mentions that there isn’t enough football on the TV. Obviously this pithy line is actually nonsense as there is in fact far too much football clogging ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Stelling and his merry mates bring festive cheer and genuine fear in the absence of any football

If we boil it down, there are two distinct ways to spend the festive period. You either endure the holiday wallowing in a pit of desperate desolation, alone with no hope of joviality, good tidings or communal kinship. Sat crestfallen in front of Eastenders on Christmas night, nursing a bottle of gin...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A battle of wits ends in defeat for Worthy’s warhorses, but football marches on

Let’s face it. Our footballing heroes don’t have the greatest reputation when it comes to brainpower and academia do they? A cautionary glance at the post-match interviews every week on Match Of The Day show us superstars struggling to grasp the complexity of questions such as, “How do you feel the ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: The rise and fall of the sprightly Savage is far from a waltz in the park

Do you remember the first time you ever saw Star Wars? That intoxicating and bedazzling rush of pure unadulterated excitement as you sat slack-jawed, unable to wrench your eyes away from all the bright lights, whizzing space ships and questionable acting? And perhaps you also remember the desolate f...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A hair-raising spectacle on Saturday turns to sombre reflection on Sunday

Take a look around you. Chances are that if you are reading this in a public place; a library, at your office while you should be working or perhaps even on the Tube, then someone close by is displaying some facial hair that seems to be a little out of place. These moustachioed menfolk are either un...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A test of comedy quizzing is passed with help from the inspiring Irish

Ok, before we go any further let me first congratulate the Irish team on their impressive qualification for the European Championships next summer. There was the inevitable party mood for the second leg of the Republic of Ireland v Estonia match last Tuesday and I’m sure there are not many that begr...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: ITV begin to repay their debt with a feast of Man City delights

It’s the 12th June 2010. Seven thirty-four on a warm summer’s evening. My friends and I are huddled around my television, just as a million more expectant eyes are doing at the same moment up and down the nation. Then pffft … nothing. A moment’s darkness was followed by some guff about Hyundai cars ...

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Could ex-players as referees ever work?

Ah, referees. Nasty men in black, the forever stern officials of our game, often painted to be rather humourless beings who get out of the house on Sundays to escape their nagging wives and only serve to annoy us. There is a theory, which Roberto Marinez brought up back in January of this year,...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A bad week for JT just gets worse and worse as the news hacks attack!

It’s been a bad old week for Chelsea and England captain John Terry hasn’t it? The on-going racism row between Terry and his accuser Anton Ferdinand has been front and back page news since the incident occurred a week ago and the story shows no signs of halting. Like most I have seen the footage...

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Manchester United got off lightly: Here's five of the worst results ever

Manchester City rocked the champions at Old Trafford, hitting Fergies men for six, but Hugh Larkin recalls five of the worst beatings of all time. As Chris Pettit reminded us elsewhere on this site - Manchester Citys spectacular 6-1 victory at Old Trafford was the second jaw-dropping scoreline of t...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Mancini’s Manchester magicians spoil the party… and this column

Why always me? This week I was going to talk to you about the light-hearted Sky Sports knockabout quiz Take It Like a Fan. I was armed with reams of faint praise for the show and was readying my keyboard for a glittering review and even a possible recommendation for you all to check it out. But al...

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Can any player, including Messi, be considered 'the greatest'?

Ah, the Champions League. Bringer of drama, stopper of dreamers, platform for Ray Wilkins to say ‘my word’ 50 hundred thousand times. And there are other things that are nearly always discussed, certainly when seeing the two dominant Spanish sides play. The great debate has moved from trying to ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Football on Sky is becoming a fairytale thanks to Wilkins the Wizard

So we were repeatedly told that it was the ‘biggest club game in world football’ as Liverpool and Manchester United met at Anfield on Saturday for the ever-intense North-West derby. The fevered atmosphere was apparent at Sky for Live Ford Football Special and there was an almost fairytale mood in ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Tevez, tantrums and Trigger? The pundits pull no punches when it comes to Carlos the Jackal

By the time this weekend came around I, like most, was sick to death of hearing about Carlos Tevez this, Carlos Tevez that, suspensions, fines, lip-readers, caveman, Aleksandar Kolarov, Argentina, Mancini. The whole overblown schism engulfed the country’s consciousness like some toxic mist and re...

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What was football like without Soccer Saturday?

Since its inception in 1998, Soccer Saturday has become a national institution. Let’s start by giving a brief overview, for those who have never seen the show. Each week four ex-footballers are positioned in front of TV monitors. The panel are then entrusted with describing the action to the viewer...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: You’re On Sky Sports… or should that be Moron Sky Sports?

There are three clearly defined pursuits enjoyed by the average football fan. One, demonstrating the unwavering certainty that they know the best way for their team to play. Secondly, morphing into yob-like tyrants at the very sight of an opposition supporter and lambasting them with vociferous ange...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Morning Glory could soon be a thing of the past for the guys at Soccer AM

Morning. The time of day when we, as human beings, fall into two distinct categories. On one hand you may be an enterprising, full-blooded marauder, charging about here there and everywhere with an unbounded vitality and zest for adventure. Alternatively, you might be a feckless layabout. Those of u...

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Top 10 bizarre injuries to footballers

Swansea City’s vice-captain Alan Tate is set to miss most of the Swans’ debut season in Premier League after breaking his leg in a freak golfing accident. The versatile defender was a passenger in a golf buggy that lost control and Tate will have to watch the majority of the club’s rollercoaster adv...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Golden Oldies at Sky prove to be Masters

The legendary American comedian Bob Hope once quipped, “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle”. This observation proved to be spectacularly apt as I tuned in to Sky Sports’ Grand Final Masters this weekend. If you’re unfamiliar with the annual Masters summer contest it runs...

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Scots Corner: Is summer football the future for the SPL?

As the nights begin to draw in, getting shorter and shorter, and the weather quickly deteriorating, the age-old prospect of summer football has reared its head again. With the football season only a few weeks old and already the Scottish winter setting in, why not? Last season saw a record number o...

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Scots Corner: Is The SPL Really That Bad?

Scottish football suffered a shock to the system on Thursday night, with all three Europa League representatives posting disappointing results in the first legs of their respective ties. It was the most damning evidence that Scottish football has declined considerably in recent years, as Hearts and ...

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The 10 Worst Opening Day Defeats in Football

Queens Park Rangers returned to the Premier League this season full of optimism and excitement. Unfortunately that was drained out of them after 45 minutes when Bolton’s Gary Cahill delivered a sucker punch just before half-time. Up until then the R’s had looked promising. In the second half though,...

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Newcastle and Hearts take note - This is how to run a football club

Over the past few years, we have seen many football club owners neglect their club financially, for instance the Glazer family at Manchester United. Under their stewardship Uniteds debt grew to more than £1 billion! On a smaller scale we had Munto Finance at Notts County, who allowed signings like S...

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Squarefootball's Fantasy football invitation

There is less than two weeks to go until the start of the 2011/12 Premier League season and time is running out for you to enter the Squarefootball fantasy football competition. Last season more than 100 teams competed for the Squarefootball title, which was won by P Oxenby and his team FC Poxo. He...

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Who is your club’s greatest signing?

It is time to dust out the sheepskin coat and training gear with matching initials. Yes we will soon be picking our fantasy football teams. The right signings will determine your chances of becoming the next Ferguson, Mourinho or Hiddnk. The chequebook has certainly assisted those who play for real....

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What five things would you do before the season starts?

Isn’t it normally New Years Eve when you get a top 100 favourite moments of the year or top 500 best movie credits or some other poor excuse for a programme? Well I thought I would also use it as a poor excuse for an article, but rather than boring you all with a list consisting of 100 or more items...

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Tevez, Modric, Nasri and co - Quit your moaning!

One of the lessons that I had drilled into me as a youngster is the old adage “asking never gets”. Maybe you too can recall a time when you asked your mum for a Penguin or something and she trotted out some half-cocked lecture about it being polite to wait to be offered blah, blah, blah. Well clearl...

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Football in 3D - A new risk to average attendances?

The world has evolved and developed a lot since the 1950s with the invention, evolution and development of everything from bladeless fans to electric cars and high definition broadcasts and beyond, but what have the boffins responsible for 3D been doing for 60 years since its inception? 3D today i...

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Footballers: Why don’t we flog them on eBay?

I have never been to Australia but I know two things for sure about the Land of Oz. One, they are better than us at almost every single sporting activity aside from football of course (although let’s be honest, the England team is not that much farther ahead than the Aussies at this point). Even the...

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The frustrations of being a football fan

As football fans we are a pessimistic breed. No sooner have we finished dancing in the stands or in front of the TV celebrating our club’s promotion, championship, relegation avoidance or cup victory, we turn our attention to the next competition and start convincing ourselves football life will nev...

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Would you like to write for Squarefootball?

Do you live, breathe and sleep football? Do you have a passion for writing and want your views to be read by a potential audience of millions? Then we at Squarefootball Towers would love to hear from you. Whether you follow Aberdeen or Accrington Stanley, West Ham United or Wolfsburg, we can offer ...

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Predictions: Who will be 2010/11’s main winners and losers?

If everything I predicted 12 months ago came true I would be a very rich and happy man right now. Unfortunately Arsenal let me down in the league, West Ham failed me in the FA Cup and letting my heart rule my head in the SPL by putting £10 on my beloved Aberdeen to win the SPL really was a waste of ...

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Predictions: Who will be 2010/11’s main winners and losers Part 2

Well you’ve heard what our Panel members have had to say for themselves, now it’s time for the “experts” to have their say. We’ll start off with writer Hugh Larkin. He loves the underdog but he thinks Chelsea are just far too strong for anyone to cope with and thinks Arsenal and Spurs are going to...

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Fantasy football 2010/11 reminder

Do you think you can spend £100 million better than Manchester City’s Roberto Mancini? Do you think you could assemble a better squad than Spurs boss Harry Redknapp? Do you think you can guide your side to glory like Chelsea’s Carlo Ancelotti? If so then we want to hear from you. We at Squarefootba...

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